Brissie_lions From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (12 years 5 months 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 723 times:
OK, before people start saying stuff, yes I am having a dig at the Yanks here. Below is a story from the West Australian newspaper, and frankly, it makes me wonder what type of people actually read tripe such as Weekly World News, The National Enquirer, etc. And the answer can't be nobody does, because these "newspapers" (for want of a better word) are everywhere through-out America. I would hate to see just how much of the crap in these rags is believed.
Any comments peoples?
AN extremely disturbing report has been brought to our attention via the Weekly World News - "America's Most Exciting Newspaper!" (No, we haven't heard of it either, but then again we rarely buy newspapers from American supermarkets.)
The Weekly reveals how Jack Redford - "the man who inspired millions by getting his high school diploma at the age of 102" - has been exposed as a cheat. Seems old Jack hid notes in the hollow of his cane and sneaked a peek during his maths and history finals.
After five other students dobbed him in, his high school diploma was revoked. According to an anonymous family member, that decision left Jack the Lad, a retired sheep rancher, crushed.
Why so disturbing? Well, apparently it all took place in Dullsville, WA, according to reporter Randy Jeffries, who filed his story from Perth, Australia.
Randy wrote that Jack cheated at a place of learning called Harbor Secondary School, and that his lyin' and cheatin' was found out by one Alex Draper, superintendent of the West Australia School District.
Alex sounded a bit crushed himself. "The entire country was moved by what we thought was an inspiring story of man's ability to continue learning right up in to the later years of his life," he said.
Now, we hate to cast aspersions on the veracity of any newspaper story, let alone criticise a fellow hack for getting a few details wrongs. But frankly, Randy, this yarn's got more holes in it than a Palm Beach County ballot paper.
We were going to try to call one David Pecker, the World Weekly News head honcho, for a please explain, but we got distracted by another disturbing report in his organ: Swedish researchers have discovered a miracle pill which can turn homosexuals into heterosexuals - "in less than six months!" And vice versa.
Anyway, here's a message for Jack, Randy and Alex: fellas, if you haven't been abducted by aliens to start a new gay race on the Planet Vulcan - give us a call and let's get the Full Monty, OK?
Adam84 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 1400 posts, RR: 2 Reply 2, posted (12 years 5 months 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 657 times:
I think that people think of them more as amusement, it would be very hard to believe the majority of junk in these papers. When I am checking out at the supermarket I glance at the stuff on the cover, the only place I have read them is at the place I get my haircut, because they are much more amusing then the hairstyle books. In one of them I saw some b/s about some 20 year old lady whos hair was black before she bungee jumped then was gray after she bungee jumped.
Nate From United States of America, joined Jan 2007, 0 posts, RR: 0 Reply 5, posted (12 years 5 months 4 weeks ago) and read 623 times:
MattD - My nuts in a thoughtshell.
Brissie - FYI, newspapers such as these appear all over the English speaking world, not just in the USA.
People who watch wrestling love them. Occaisionally they print a worthwhile story that the standard media fails to print, such as Clintons illigitimate son Danny Williams. His mother, Bobby Williams is a black prostitute from Little Rock, and both are living in Australia (at last report), and supposedly being supported in style, by Clinton.
Brissie_lions From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 8, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 600 times:
Well this type of trash isn't everywhere, as the closest we have to anything like that down here is "New Idea" or "Who Weekly" which are gossip magazines for women, but they don't have shitty stories which are what these trash mags are
News Corp is an Australian company, but Rupert Murdoch no longer holds Australian citizenship, rather he took American citizenship a couple of years ago to get around your country's foreign ownership laws. But having said that, the News Corp newspapers down here are respectable publications which I would compare (and probably place higher) than others such as the Wall Street Journal and other highly respected newspapers.
N863DA From United States of America, joined Sep 2004, 48 posts, RR: 6 Reply 9, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 592 times:
Once again, though not surprisingly, hatred of a certain nation automatically discounts perfectly valid opinions from people who do not share the same views as others. Quite sad, and as bigoted as any 'trailer trash'.
(Quote: "Prince William's Other Brother - See exclusive photos of Charles' OTHER mistress") - the answer is that not all Americans read 'National Enquirer' and other such tacky tabloids. You're doing it again people - making sweeping generalizations. (And by Yanks, I assume you mean the Generic term, rather than Yankees, correct?)
And once again people, we should have remembered that Australia is perfect and how terrible the United States is. Honestly, how could you forget it.
And personally, I rate the London Telegraph and Atlanta Journal as the two top newspapers - but that is subjective - just as subjective, I may add, as your entire goddamned post.
And while these papers appear all over the English world, they also appear in other nations too.
And, on the topic of Murdoch, he is reportedly trying to buy DirecTV. Yet another thing he just has to 'take'. Fun. That mean we're going to be watching Sky News soon? Whoopee.
FLY DELTA JETS - the airline of the South - and sail UNITED STATES LINES
Brissie_lions From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 11, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 586 times:
Lighten up dude....unless of course you are one of the Yanks that throws away your hard-earned dollar on trash such as Weekly World News, or whatever they are called, and am feeling defensive for that reason.
Did you not see any of the humour in the original post? Puhleeeze. The more you say I hate America, the sillier you sound, not me. Me having a dig at you guys is in good fun. If you want to see what having a real dig at Americans is like, check out the "I Believe" ads by Fosters and the "I am Canadian" ads by Molsons...a real dig but still humourous, all the same.
N863DA From United States of America, joined Sep 2004, 48 posts, RR: 6 Reply 12, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 585 times:
Ironically, I would not dream of spending a single cent on that tripe.... to people who do, my reaction is . But that insults the food that I feed our dogs. I'll lighten up more when the US is no longer perceived as the land of hell on earth.
To say our senses of humor are different is to say that beer and diesel oil taste different. Some of the things I would roll on the floor at I can imagine would make some people look like . Most of your humor does that to me. I don't personally have a sense of humor much at all when we're (as a nation) the butt of the joke. If I'm the butt personally, it doesn't worry me in the slightest, but that's different. Redneck jokes from Yankees is tolerable...
FLY DELTA JETS - the airline of the South - and sail UNITED STATES LINES
TWAneedsNOhelp From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 14, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 553 times:
"Hillary caught with Monica in the Oval Office"
ha ha. I heard that one too. They asked Monica if it was anything like being with Bill. Close, but no cigar she answers.
Hey Aussie. About those papers, they're tabloids, meaning no real news, simply entertainment. Brits got them too, although they're somewhat legit cross the pond. Also, they have lots more nudey pics in em over there. Oh those brits....
I'm curious about you though, being down under and all. Serious question, unless your aboriginee, how'd you get there. Grandpa a crook? You move recently?
Mx5_boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 15, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 547 times:
TWA need a shedload of help,
"I'm curious about you though, being down under and all. Serious question, unless your aboriginee, how'd you get there. Grandpa a crook? You move recently? "
If that is all you can think of to insult Aussies then hunky dory dufuss. Limited imagination, limited education. What, your teacher got shot during class?
Or perhaps you have eaten at too many fast food joints that slather humongous amounts of artificial flavourings and preservatives and supply the chaff bag of crap that the likes of you oh so much enjoy?
Ahhh, I have to say it, would you like fries with that?
FDXmech From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 3251 posts, RR: 38 Reply 16, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 540 times:
I only buy such tabloids if I can learn about other foreign cultures and their cultural icons. For example, should an article about Australias most famous and perhaps most eloquent esteemed gentleman Crocodile Dundee appear, I'll purchase it. After all, never has one person so encapsulated the personality of a nation, that nation being Australia. Well, G'day.
DG_pilot From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 856 posts, RR: 3 Reply 18, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 530 times:
N863DA- Haven't you noticed that Brissie IS, and I mean IS, the expert on American politics, culture, people, media, recreation, beer, or anything else that could be considered American, EVEN THOUGH he lives on the other side of the planet. Simply amazing isn't it!
I think he's jealous of us N863DA.
I always wonder if Brissie is as stupid looking as he is stupid sounding?
PerthGloryFan From Australia, joined Oct 2000, 751 posts, RR: 0 Reply 23, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 510 times:
Courier Mail AND Brisbane Lions!
Gee, Scott you're making it difficult to me to give you any unconditional local support
The US of A - well, nice place to visit and some right friendly people too, but at least here downunder workers are paid enough so they don't have to beg for more from their customers.
A stupid bitch in a TGI Fridays in New Orleans asked us if we had a problem with the service! Seems my rounding up of the bill only gave a tip of 9% instead of the required 15%!
Told her to get a real job!
Johnboy From United States of America, joined Aug 1999, 2469 posts, RR: 1 Reply 24, posted (12 years 5 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 496 times:
Poor Brissie! You've become the whipping boy for some "angry white men" from the US. I knew you'd like that one mate....."we're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it any longer!" No doubt the redneck element is energized by the win of George "Wubba Wubba Draft Dodger" Bush.
Seriously, the National Enquirer has become semi legit after some punishing lawsuits that ate away at the bottom line. They usually err more on the side of truth these days than in the other extreme. BTW, the Weekly World News is owned by the folks at the National Enquirer (headquartered in Lantana, FL). My fav headline is "Fur Coat Comes Alive and Kills Woman Wearing It", complete with illustration. Or, "The Face of Satan Seen in Thunderstorm Clouds!!"