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Dumb Women/Smart Men, Dumb Men, Etc.  
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 47
Posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1154 times:

Shared with me via e-mail, and pretty much right on the money. I'm surprised that RealHigh didn't beat me to this.


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.




10 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1131 times:

Classic. I had seen this before, but it had been awhile, and yes, it does seem to be right on the money.  Big thumbs up

User currently offlineFlyboy36y From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 3039 posts, RR: 7
Reply 2, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 1117 times:

LOL. That is VERY funny.

User currently offlineLortab 7.5mg From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 805 posts, RR: 11
Reply 3, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 1101 times:


Amen.


User currently offlineNdebele From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 2901 posts, RR: 23
Reply 4, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 1093 times:

LOL, very funny indeed. Especially the very last sentence!

Btw, how does Lortab manage to make those one-word replies? I thought there is a minimum size for every post  Confused


User currently offlineLortab 7.5mg From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 805 posts, RR: 11
Reply 5, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1085 times:

Ndebele,

 Big grin


User currently offlineNdebele From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 2901 posts, RR: 23
Reply 6, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1086 times:


Lortab  Big grin


User currently offlineBlink182 From Azerbaijan, joined Oct 1999, 5482 posts, RR: 15
Reply 7, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1063 times:

LOL Big grin Big grin Big grin

blink



Give me a break, I created this username when I was a kid...
User currently offlineSwissgabe From Switzerland, joined Jan 2000, 5266 posts, RR: 33
Reply 8, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1059 times:

Thats fun and even a little big real  Smile/happy/getting dizzy


Smooth as silk - Royal Orchid Service /// Suid-Afrikaanse Lugdiens - Springbok
User currently offlineNWA742 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1056 times:

LOL!  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up

User currently offlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39887 posts, RR: 74
Reply 10, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 1021 times:

Matt D:
I love these!
They are hillarious! Big grin  Laugh out loud  Smile/happy/getting dizzy



Bring back the Concorde
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