StarAC17 From Australia, joined Aug 2003, 2614 posts, RR: 4 Posted (4 months 1 week 20 hours ago) and read 1827 times:
Hey All.
I have a predicament here I have been dating this girl for the past 2 months and while when were together we have a great time together and the physical aspect of our relationship is no problem . Now I haven't had a lot of experience with relationships and this is my first one which has happened in my late 20's (I'm 28 in a month).
There is an issue of trust here, I happen to for whatever reason (nice guy until recently is it) have a lot of female friends especially in Melbourne. I want to and feel I'm entitled to maintain those friendships and occasionally see them to catch up, because I need to and should maintain an independent life.
She assumes that this is cheating even though I know no form of intimacy (physical or emotional) is going to occur, which is what cheating is by my definition and I have control over my actions. It would be a catch of for dinner or drinks at a pub or in a group and my girlfriend is welcome to come. I understand having female friends over and making them dinner or watching a movie in my flat would be off limits and would only see them in Public.
Now my girlfriend assumes if I want to see a female friend it must mean that I want to do the nasty with them and I get "I trust you but don't trust her" remark which I think is the biggest pile of crap that a woman can say, because I can control my penis.
Any suggestions on dealing with this? The friends I spoke to about his said they would never tolerate this behaviour and on my Volleyball team I play with a couple whom has this understanding, also they think I can do better. I also do not have reciprocate these feelings she can see her male friends whenever she wants and if she screws around on me I simply tell her to get stuffed and would not expect less if I did cheat.
There is another issue which is probably a bigger one but seems pale by comparison at the current moment. She is older than me (35 to my 27) and she sees me as husband material and wants to marry me while I'm trying to live the early part of a relationship and getting to know her as a person.
FingerLakerAv8r From United States of America, joined May 2011, 259 posts, RR: 0 Reply 1, posted (4 months 1 week 20 hours ago) and read 1821 times:
To be blunt...
If you have trust issues in a relationship it isn't likely to last. Your predicament sounds exactly like mine a few years ago. I have female friends and my ex had male friends. I had no issues with her hanging with them but she had major issues with me seeing my female friends.
Long story short I broke it off because of her lack of trust. Was it hard? yep. Did I reel for a while? Oh yeah. But for my mental health it was the best decision I made. Now she's with some other guy and rumor has it she's the same way with him as she was with me. Poor chap.
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): There is another issue which is probably a bigger one but seems pale by comparison at the current moment. She is older than me (35 to my 27) and she sees me as husband material and wants to marry me while I'm trying to live the early part of a relationship and getting to know her as a person.
Run like hell dude. Seriously. I've seen this happen to friends many times before and they all ended in nasty divorces. She seems to have some control issues that will suffocate you and it will end badly. If you marry her because SHE wants you to and not because you BOTH want to it will drain you mentally, physically and financially.
Relationships without trust are like aircraft without wings. They simply don't work.
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): I understand having female friends over and making them dinner or watching a movie in my flat would be off limits
That's something couples need to discuss and create agreements on. My fiance and I have no issues with this. I can bring a female friend over to our place, whether she's home or not, and she can bring a male friend over, same thing. We trust each other completely. If people are going to cheat, they're going to find a way...it's creating a relationship that both partners do not want to cheat on that is key.
Voice your concerns, tell her you're trustworthy, and that's it's part of a mature relationship to be open, honest, and voice concerns, thoughts and opinions. Discuss it like the adults you are.
Yep, she has some serious maturity issues. In my honest opinion, run, dude...run. A 35 year old who just assumes their partner is going to cheat with no proof or evidence has some serious trust and confidence issues. Women always talk about how important it is for men to have confidence, but it goes both ways. If she flat out assumes you'll cheat given the first opportunity, she has serious issues.
HorizonGirl From Canada, joined Mar 2005, 757 posts, RR: 20 Reply 4, posted (4 months 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 1649 times:
Here's a female's perspective.
I had a close friend go through something like this recently. Though the genders were switched, I have some idea of what you're experiencing.
If she has been treated poorly in the past, and has never met your friends, and only knows about your history etc, she naturally might have some questions. But if she has met them, and still feels uncomfortable after seeing what you are like around each other, you now have a problem. If you're doing nothing wrong, and she is trying to limit your contact with your friends, that is a form of abuse.
Also, another red flag is that you've been dating for just two months, and she sees you a marriage material already? That's not nearly enough time to deeply know someone on the level required for such a commitment. I don't want to pass any judgments, but it sounds like she may be a little off her rocker..
DeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 2697 posts, RR: 25 Reply 5, posted (4 months 1 week 13 hours ago) and read 1631 times:
Quoting FingerLakerAv8r (Reply 1): If you have trust issues in a relationship it isn't likely to last.
Quoting sw733 (Reply 3): Then she has some serious maturity issues
Quoting HorizonGirl (Reply 4): Also, another red flag is that you've been dating for just two months, and she sees you a marriage material already?
I'm young, with not too much experience, but I do know at least this: if you change who you are to make the relationship work, you'll be unhappy and the relationship will eventually end. I'm not talking about changing for the better (like being more caring towards others) I'm talking about changing character or habits just to appease the other half.
My gf used to be like that at first and I quickly shut that down. But like HorizonGirl said, it's because her ex didn't treat her that well. On the flip side, she was into swing dancing and was surprised when I said she could dance with her male partner (I was surprised she even asked!) Now we completely trust each other and are comfortable with each other (after almost 3 years) and are still not married, not moved in with each other, etc. May be old fashioned kinda, but we've been with each other so long that we've seen people go out after us, get married, and divorced all in the time frame of our relationship. I'm talking about 5-10 couples. The longest lasting relationship among our friends are 2 couples, both have been going out for a long time (one the exact same day as us) and neither of us have moved in or anything, and we're still going strong and I have no doubts my marriage will last in the future. I've been comfortable with her since like month 6, but I heard and see that people "change" or the relationship isn't as good 2 years in or whatever when the "hotness dies down" so I rode it out. Hit some bumps, nothing that bad, glad I waited, the end
tl;dr Don't give up on her! But don't compromise your life to appease her! IT WON'T LAST (or if it does somehow, you'll be whipped and miserable.) Relationships take a balance of both sides, and she needs to give her part
Another girl's opinion here. I think you need to tell your girlfriend that her blocking your seeing your female friends is not acceptable. Reiterate that she's welcome to come along and get to know your friends and that you have nothing to hide. Continue to tell her when you're going to see your female friends and don't let her prevent you from doing so.
If your girlfriend does not accept this, then she's not the girl for you.
Quoting sw733 (Reply 3): If people are going to cheat, they're going to find a way...it's creating a relationship that both partners do not want to cheat on that is key.
This is so very, very true.
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): There is another issue which is probably a bigger one but seems pale by comparison at the current moment. She is older than me (35 to my 27) and she sees me as husband material and wants to marry me while I'm trying to live the early part of a relationship and getting to know her as a person.
I think you should talk this out with your girlfriend and tell her exactly what you said here.
But you have to be prepared to walk, or to have her walk when you talk to her about these two issues. Remember, people will keep doing to you what you let them do. If you tell her that you are still going to see your female friends, and she says that's not acceptable, you have to be prepared to walk away.
One more thing I'll add. She sounds like someone who has self-esteem issues. It may help to talk to her about what you see in her and why you're with her. She may feel like if you have exposure to other women, that you'll come to the conclusion that she is not worthy of you. This sort of feeling may be causing her jealous and posessive behaviour. If so, a little bit of TLC will go a long way in helping to reassure her.
We're lying in the gutter but we're looking at the stars
zippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 3808 posts, RR: 13 Reply 8, posted (4 months 1 week 10 hours ago) and read 1537 times:
Here we go, give me an E-mail address so I can you a bill for my services.
First, I feel it's great you are seeking help and feedback. When you do nothing you can go wrong. How would you feel if your GF had a lot of male friends? If she were friends with ex BF or for that matter GF's? If you are cool with that, she should bend. I've learned that it's good to have your GF harbor some jealousy but too much of anything can be toxic.
Ever notice that when you are attached/dating all of a sudden you seem to attract other females? Whether it be for friendship of more? Talk to her, be cool and keep a level head.
You may want to look online for free advice. Check out Tiffany Granath (Playboy Radio)XM-Sirius satellite radio
StarAC17 From Australia, joined Aug 2003, 2614 posts, RR: 4 Reply 9, posted (4 months 1 week 9 hours ago) and read 1523 times:
Quoting HorizonGirl (Reply 4): If she has been treated poorly in the past, and has never met your friends, and only knows about your history etc, she naturally might have some questions.
She has been cheated on before but I reckon this was when she was about 17 or 18 and I am empathic to her trust issues regarding that. However I do feel she is misguided to think that the other girl was responsible for the infidelity and not her partner at the time.
However I have given her no reason not to trust me, if I had to theorize she is obviously insecure from the photos of some of my female friends on facebook but I do not accept this as a reason to not see a female friend.
Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 5): tl;dr Don't give up on her! But don't compromise your life to appease her! IT WON'T LAST (or if it does somehow, you'll be whipped and miserable.) Relationships take a balance of both sides, and she needs to give her part
I have seen whipped guys and the woman doesn't respect a boyfriend whom is whipped I would reckon that a girlfriend would be more likely to cheat on their guy if he is whipped.
Quoting zippyjet (Reply 8): How would you feel if your GF had a lot of male friends? If she were friends with ex BF or for that matter GF's? If you are cool with that, she should bend. I've learned that it's good to have your GF harbor some jealousy but too much of anything can be toxic.
The ex I can somewhat understand but regarding the male friends I would be fine with it. Regarding exes I would be more than willing to compromise on that but it a non-issue from my side since I have none.
Quoting zippyjet (Reply 8): Ever notice that when you are attached/dating all of a sudden you seem to attract other females? Whether it be for friendship of more?
That is I think linked that a guy in a relationship appears on subconscious level not desperate when out an about. Also people tend to want what they can't have.
zippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 3808 posts, RR: 13 Reply 10, posted (4 months 1 week 9 hours ago) and read 1508 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 9): That is I think linked that a guy in a relationship appears on subconscious level not desperate when out an about. Also people tend to want what they can't have.
Couldn't have said it better than if I said it myself.
The trick when in a dry spell is to come across like you are Hugh Hefner. Easier said than done. A friend told me (very good at visualization) of imagining the object (young lady) of your desire looking 50 pounds heavier with cankles.
HorizonGirl From Canada, joined Mar 2005, 757 posts, RR: 20 Reply 11, posted (4 months 1 week 7 hours ago) and read 1481 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 9): However I have given her no reason not to trust me, if I had to theorize she is obviously insecure from the photos of some of my female friends on facebook but I do not accept this as a reason to not see a female friend.
One think to keep in mind, especially in situations like these, is that trust can not be automatically given. If she has been cheated on, then she might need time to see for herself that she can trust you. If that's all that is going on here, then you can be assured that this issue will be worked through. However, if it is just her personality, then I would be very cautious. If she needs to work out her past, that can be done. But if it is her personality, a trait like this can not be changed.
I'd also watch out for facebook, as things on facebook tend to have no context at all. I can't even tell you how many formerly happy couples I have personally seen ripped apart by meaningless crap on facebook. If there is some "suspicious" content, just explain what's going on, and if she's not fine with that, then she has some problems of her own she needs to work through.
AR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 3954 posts, RR: 29 Reply 12, posted (4 months 1 week 7 hours ago) and read 1461 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): I want to and feel I'm entitled to maintain those friendships and occasionally see them to catch up, because I need to and should maintain an independent life.
Yes. You are entitled to maintain those friendships. But keep in mind that a relationship is a compromise. You don´t seem to know the reason for her issues with your friends. Sit down and ask her. Have a nice chat. I´m sure if there is something there, something positive will come out of that chat.
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): She assumes that this is cheating even though I know no form of intimacy (physical or emotional) is going to occur, which is what cheating is by my definition and I have control over my actions. It would be a catch of for dinner or drinks at a pub or in a group and my girlfriend is welcome to come. I understand having female friends over and making them dinner or watching a movie in my flat would be off limits and would only see them in Public.
She´s wrong. It´s not cheating.
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): The friends I spoke to about his said they would never tolerate this behaviour and on my Volleyball team I play with a couple whom has this understanding, also they think I can do better. I also do not have reciprocate these feelings she can see her male friends whenever she wants and if she screws around on me I simply tell her to get stuffed and would not expect less if I did cheat.
Be careful about asking advice from "friends". I only take advice from some very, very, close and special friends. Including some form here.
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): She is older than me (35 to my 27) and she sees me as husband material and wants to marry me while I'm trying to live the early part of a relationship and getting to know her as a person.
Quoting HorizonGirl (Reply 4): Also, another red flag is that you've been dating for just two months, and she sees you a marriage material already?
Well. You have to see things from her perspective. She is 35. Her clock is ticking. She´s not gonna date a man at this stage of her life just for fun. So in that regard you have to understand where she is coming from. However, from that perspective alone, and yours, it just does not seem you are ready for each other.
Call it quits, don´t lead her on and move on to greener and younger pastures.
geezer From United States of America, joined Aug 2010, 715 posts, RR: 1 Reply 13, posted (4 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1442 times:
Wow.......I don't even know why I'm getting into this discussion ! You have already received more very good advice than a lot of young guys ever get; (I'm truly amazed at HOW good !)
The ladies gave you a "female" prospective.......which is good.......very good.
Unlike any of the others, I can offer you, from very long personal experience, all the things that "work", and all the things that DON'T work. The first thing is......you have to take people as you find them; sure, there will be subtle changes made both ways in some cases, but in the end........forget about trying to change people. It almost never works.
Someone already mentioned.........the only time to even start thinking about marriage, is when BOTH parties are on the same page, at roughly the same time. Anything else.....fugetaboutit ! ( Very good advice )
Issues pertaining to "libido"; it seems that everyone thinks that this is the "glue" that makes people get together, and stay together; it helps a lot, but there are other things at least as important. ( Trust me on that )
The single most profound bit of wisdom that I can offer, is this; Ready for this ?............The most important decision you will ever make in your life, is the one you make when you "select" a mate. Period. Your entire life will be infinitely better if you make the best possible decision on the first try ! ( It is just so much less complicated that way )
I know. It's equally as important on the second try, but is better if done right, first time out.
I suppose if you started out to build a house, and after getting the frame house you're building half way done, you suddenly realize you really wanted a brick house............most people would probably just say, "oh well", and keep on building; if you did that, and ended up living in the frame house after it was finished, you will be kicking yourself every day, from now on out ! No one wants to "quit and start over" when you think you're half way there. And it is a bummer.
But it's a double, even triple bummer if you don't ! So just make damned sure you start with the right "material" in the first place !
StarAC17 From Australia, joined Aug 2003, 2614 posts, RR: 4 Reply 15, posted (4 months 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 1365 times:
Quoting AR385 (Reply 12): Yes. You are entitled to maintain those friendships. But keep in mind that a relationship is a compromise
I understand that and if she was saying this about and ex then I would be willing to compromise on on that also with other things. Such as potentially staying over at one of these girl's homes and vice versa.
Quoting AR385 (Reply 12): You don´t seem to know the reason for her issues with your friends. Sit down and ask her. Have a nice chat. I´m sure if there is something there, something positive will come out of that chat.
She hasn't met any of them, that is what drives me nuts. She is basing her opinions on Facebook photos and comments.
Quoting geezer (Reply 13): Issues pertaining to "libido"; it seems that everyone thinks that this is the "glue" that makes people get together, and stay together; it helps a lot, but there are other things at least as important. ( Trust me on that )
Couldn't agree more.
Quoting geezer (Reply 13): Someone already mentioned.........the only time to even start thinking about marriage, is when BOTH parties are on the same page, at roughly the same time. Anything else.....fugetaboutit ! ( Very good advice )
I won't have that discussion and she is not ready for it either but she does try and set a timeline which bothers me and I can see this from her perspective but I don't believe that you should set a timeline on something like marriage.
Personally I think that marriage in today's society is not a next step but something to celebrate a developed relationship. Nothing should change about your relationship after a marriage in 2012 its just legal and with "Common Law civil unions" the rights are all there without a wedding.
An update on this, I contacted my girlfriend's mother via e-mail last night to call me as soon as she gets it and we had a discussion about this (I didn't want to but had to because I couldn't reason with my gf at all). She agrees with me and her and her eldest daughter have been speaking to her and I'm going to lay low for a couple of days and re-think this whole thing.
flymia From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5674 posts, RR: 6 Reply 17, posted (4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 1299 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): There is another issue which is probably a bigger one but seems pale by comparison at the current moment. She is older than me (35 to my 27) and she sees me as husband material and wants to marry me while I'm trying to live the early part of a relationship and getting to know her as a person.
She is older, she sees her time running out fast to get married and have kids. You probably are not thinking about that much especially after just 2 months. I would hate this. This is a bigger problem IMO.
"It was just four of us on the flight deck, trying to do our job" (Captain Al Haynes)
ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4611 posts, RR: 63 Reply 18, posted (4 months 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 1280 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 15): An update on this, I contacted my girlfriend's mother via e-mail last night to call me as soon as she gets it and we had a discussion about this (I didn't want to but had to because I couldn't reason with my gf at all). She agrees with me and her and her eldest daughter have been speaking to her and I'm going to lay low for a couple of days and re-think this whole thing.
What the heck? You brought her MOM into it? And your girlfriend is 35? Why on earth did you do that?!?
We're lying in the gutter but we're looking at the stars
FingerLakerAv8r From United States of America, joined May 2011, 259 posts, RR: 0 Reply 19, posted (4 months 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 1271 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 15): An update on this, I contacted my girlfriend's mother via e-mail last night to call me as soon as she gets it and we had a discussion about this
AR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 3954 posts, RR: 29 Reply 20, posted (4 months 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 1252 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 15): I contacted my girlfriend's mother via e-mail last night to call me as soon as she gets it and we had a discussion about this (I didn't want to but had to because I couldn't reason with my gf at all). She agrees with me and her and her eldest daughter have been speaking to her
CrimsonNL From Netherlands, joined Dec 2007, 1435 posts, RR: 43 Reply 21, posted (4 months 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 1244 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW CHAT OPERATOR
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 15): An update on this, I contacted my girlfriend's mother via e-mail last night to call me as soon as she gets it and we had a discussion about this (I didn't want to but had to because I couldn't reason with my gf at all). She agrees with me and her and her eldest daughter have been speaking to her and I'm going to lay low for a couple of days and re-think this whole thing.
I don't know what I find more odd; This, or the fact that in 19 replies no-one has suggested he should give her a snowglobe!
PlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 10397 posts, RR: 66 Reply 23, posted (4 months 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 1222 times:
I really don't think you have a choice now, just bail. Neither of you appear to trust the other, it will be kinder for both of you to just get it over with so you can each move on.
Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 22): I think he just moved into snowglobe territory now.
flymia From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5674 posts, RR: 6 Reply 24, posted (4 months 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1219 times:
Quoting CrimsonNL (Reply 21): I don't know what I find more odd; This, or the fact that in 19 replies no-one has suggested he should give her a snowglobe!
I would hesitate calling someone a girlfriend after two months, let alone talking to their mother about something like this.
I really think it comes down to this, if you need to go on Anet to ask about relationship advice it is probably not going very well.
"It was just four of us on the flight deck, trying to do our job" (Captain Al Haynes)
HorizonGirl From Canada, joined Mar 2005, 757 posts, RR: 20 Reply 25, posted (4 months 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1264 times:
Quoting flymia (Reply 24): I really think it comes down to this, if you need to go on Anet to ask about relationship advice it is probably not going very well.
Along with other aforementioned factors, I feel we can now admit we were all probably thinking this.
dc9northwest From Romania, joined Feb 2007, 1177 posts, RR: 2 Reply 26, posted (4 months 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 1246 times:
This reminds me of a joke my grandmother told me:
Two 120 year olds were getting married... and it attracted media attention. The TV stations interview the bride and groom and one of the questions asked is: "Do you really want to get married at 120?"
The bride and groom looked at each other and answered: "Not really, but our parents are making us get married".
I can't imagine who would want to talk to their ~60 year old mother about this, at 35.
Anyways, snow globes are starting at 20$ on Amazon (I'd guess similar prices in Australia, but I don't know); get them while they're hot!
Get rid of her. She is clearly incapable of behaving as an adult, ever.
Quoting flymia (Reply 24): I really think it comes down to this, if you need to go on Anet to ask about relationship advice it is probably not going very well.
If you feel like you need to ask a bunch of strangers for help, then that means your friends can't help you. If you're friends can't even help you, you're done.
Seriously. Trust is the #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 thing required in a relationship. Jealousy is necessarily a lack of trust.
If she does not trust you to keep your willy in your pants, then she will NEVER trust you out of her sight and your life will be miserable. Let her be another man's problem.
StarAC17 From Australia, joined Aug 2003, 2614 posts, RR: 4 Reply 29, posted (4 months 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 1233 times:
Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 18): What the heck? You brought her MOM into it? And your girlfriend is 35? Why on earth did you do that?!?
She lives at home and her mom was fighting with her and obviously making her life parents life hell so I explained to her mum the reason for her behaviour and staging an intervention on her. I didn't want to get her involved but in a way she was already because her and her dad have to deal with her.
I'm not seeing her on a romantic basis for some time from this point forward.
BOStonsox From United States of America, joined Dec 2007, 1764 posts, RR: 0 Reply 30, posted (4 months 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1199 times:
You know, before I clicked on this thread, I thought, "oh, here we go again, another snowglobe thread". To my surprise, there has been some very good advice. Yeah, it doesn't look like anything good is going to come of this, though. A.net seemed like a strange place to ask, and if you're asking a.net, then hopefully you have consulted enough people before and should've made your decision already.
StarAC17 From Australia, joined Aug 2003, 2614 posts, RR: 4 Reply 31, posted (4 months 6 days ago) and read 1157 times:
Quoting BOStonsox (Reply 30): A.net seemed like a strange place to ask, and if you're asking a.net, then hopefully you have consulted enough people before and should've made your decision already.
Yes Yes, I have talked to several others about this.
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 29): and staging an intervention on her.
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 29):
I'm not seeing her on a romantic basis for some time from this point forward.
Dude, seriously. I know you're in your late 20s and haven't been into the dating scene for a while, but I learned to avoid 35 year-olds that live with their mom when I was 12.
Quit trying to be around people that just can't be helped. You have zero reason to even be thinking about this.
luckyone From United States of America, joined Aug 2008, 1409 posts, RR: 0 Reply 33, posted (4 months 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 1026 times:
Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter): There is another issue which is probably a bigger one but seems pale by comparison at the current moment. She is older than me (35 to my 27) and she sees me as husband material and wants to marry me while I'm trying to live the early part of a relationship and getting to know her as a person.
Quoting HorizonGirl (Reply 4): Also, another red flag is that you've been dating for just two months, and she sees you a marriage material already?
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 29): She lives at home and her mom was fighting with her and obviously making her life parents life hell
That is a serious red flag. Couple her age and the fact that she acts like a teenager? ISSUES! It's also been my experience that baseless lack of trust doesn't go away. Run Forrest, run.
aaway From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 1376 posts, RR: 14 Reply 34, posted (3 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 768 times:
Quoting BOStonsox (Reply 30): A.net seemed like a strange place to ask, and if you're asking a.net, then hopefully you have consulted enough people before and should've made your decision already.
Sometimes its good to seek an unbiased opinion on certain matters. Granted, with the OP's situation, his friends will obviously solicit advice thats filtered through the prism of the friendship. That, in and of itself, can be very biased, which is why its often said that some of the poorest relationship advice is given by friends.
With a choice between changing one's mind & proving there's no need to do so, most everyone gets busy on the proof.
jetblueguy22 From United States of America, joined Nov 2007, 1518 posts, RR: 0 Reply 35, posted (3 months 3 weeks 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 628 times:
I'd lay down the law. Make it black and white, if she is going to bug cuz you are out. My best friend (a woman) had a similar problem with a jealous dude and just ended it. It's perfectly understandable to spend plenty of time with your gf, but wanting to hang with your other friends and being yelled at for it is just wrong. I don't know why some people can't process that girls and guys can just be friends.
Blue
Fly2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 36, posted (3 months 3 weeks 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 620 times:
I know I'm several millenia late into this thread but seriously OP what the heck are you thinking? She's definitely some desperate psycho cougar. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
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