JetBlueGuy2006 From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 1628 posts, RR: 1 Posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 3108 times:
Simple question for everyone: How did you meet your significant other?
I have tried the whole online dating sites, with mixed results. I have been able to talk to a few interesting gals, but it just doesn't seem to work out. It is hard for me to get out to bars and the "local scene" as I live in a suburb and public transportation to where I live from those downtowns is not available.
Home Airport: Capital Region International Airport (KLAN)
Braybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5551 posts, RR: 33
Reply 1, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3086 times:
In a sauna, of all places. Exactly four years ago I was on my usual Saturday night trawl of the gay scene and I'd fallen asleep alone in one of the cubicles in the main Dublin sauna and woke up, probably after 5am, when the place had quietened down. I went walkabout to see who was around, not expecting much at that time. I walked past a cubicle with an open door and an guy lying on the bed inside. He was wearing a towel, and as I passed, looked-up, and was grinning from ear to ear. I stopped and did a double take. He was nice! I wondered who he was as I'd never seen him before (the gay scene in Dublin is small) so I assumed he was a visitor. I stood opposite the open door and smiled back. He kept on grinning, and, assuming (correctly, as it turned out) that he was on a bit of a buzz, said "hi" and entered the cubicle and started to chat. He was just my type, and when he told me he was from Dublin and was there with his boyfriend I was surprised -- on two levels: one, I'd been doing the bars, clubs and saunas for years and had never seen him before, and two, that if he was with his boyfriend, why was the boyfriend off looking for someone else? This guy was hot! (maybe he's hotter, I thought . . .)
I asked him if he'd like to come back to my place, and after a bit of persuading he agreed, and I couldn't get him to the locker room quickly enough to get dressed, although in his state he was having difficulty remembering where his locker was. Eventually he found it, but realised he couldn't go without telling his boyfriend (they had an open relationship), and decided he'd have to tell him where he was going. It fell apart after that, and, very frustrated, I ended-up leaving on my own as dawn broke.
I put him out of my head after a while (even though he was from Dublin he lived in the southern part of the country, about 120 km away, and, of course, had the boyfriend). Then, about six months later, I was back in the same sauna (last refuge of the desperate, I know) and again around 4 or 5 am happened to be strolling round when this guy came out of a door and walked ahead of me. "I know him", I said to myself, trying hard to remember where I'd seen him before. Pretty quickly I realised who it was, and called out his name. He stopped, turned around and looked at me, paused, and said hello, calling me by my name, which impressed me, I have to say, as he was pretty out-of-it the night I'd met him six months previously. He was going to the smoking area and asked if I'd like to join him, which I did, even though I don't smoke. We had a great chat, and this night he was on his own. He was in the city for an aunt's funeral, and decided to stay the night. I didn't let him get away this time, and he came back to the house and we spent all day Sunday, and Sunday night, together.
In the meantime, he'd split up with his boyfriend and found a girlfriend in his town, so I didn't see him again for another six months, when she was off the scene. Since then he's been coming up to my place almost every weekend. He's a challenge at times, which I suppose is part of the appeal as there's never a dull moment when he's around, although sometimes I wish there were some. Still, he seems to be happy to come up regularly, even though he's 20 years younger, and I'm more than happy with the situation and have no desire to do the bars, clubs or saunas at all, either here or if I'm on holidays, which is a new experience for me. This is why I'm writing this at 4.30 am: he coudn't come up this weekend, so I'm all alone and bored, although not bored enough to do anything about it. He'll be back up again soon . . .
It was 1995 since I last had a significant other, and I really had thought that that was the end of it for me: the gay scene is notorious for its fickleness, and once you get to a certain age you can pretty much forget it. Romance can begin in the most unlikely places, at the most unlikely times, so there's a lesson to be learned here. KEEP TRYING, but not too hard . . . things can sometimes fall nicely into place when you least expect it.
Maverick623 From United States of America, joined Nov 2006, 5375 posts, RR: 6
Reply 2, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 3065 times:
Through a mutual friend. She was actually a flight attendant for the first two years I was on the ramp, but we never ran into each other. After a couple of years back in her hometown of SLC, she moved back to PHX and started hanging out with what we call the "Wings" crowd. We flirted around for about 6 months (she was seeing someone, and I wasn't really interested in a relationship at the time), and finally got together around Halloween.
Bananaboy From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2004, 1569 posts, RR: 24
Reply 3, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 3055 times:
Online, though neither of us can remember which website. He was in California and I was living in the UK. We met and had our first 'date" in Chicago (considered it was about half-way between us). Ended up flying back and forth between the UK and California every other week or so until he found a way to study and work in the UK.
johns624 From United States of America, joined Jul 2008, 862 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 2956 times:
In Scotland. My friend and I signed up for a MTS hiking trip of the West Highland Way and her and her old college roommate were on the same trip. I was from DTW and she was from LAX. I figured that any woman who can walk 10-12 miles a day in the Highlands when it's cold, rainy and windy and still has a pleasant personality, is the one to marry, so I did.
Aesma From France, joined Nov 2009, 6018 posts, RR: 9
Reply 5, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 2931 times:
A relationship could begin online without that meaning it was on a dating website. It could be on a forum (like here) or a videogame. On a forum I'm active on we do meet-ups and I got a girlfriend at one of those. Another time it was on that same forum, we were talking on a subject we were both interested in (a car, actually, we had the same one) and it went from there.
Other girls I had I always met doing something I liked and wasn't there looking for it. For example when I was in the chorus at school, or on a church trip for the youth, or sailing, or skydiving. Strolling bars is just for one night stands IMHO, not that that's bad in itself, but not the best start for a relationship.
New Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn't work yet. Douglas Adams
Scarletharlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 57
Reply 7, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 2861 times:
Frosh (orientation) week of university. I was in a heavily male-dominated faculty (math) and during one of the frosh week events there was an n-legged race (3-legged race for 10 people) that needed an equal number of girls and guys on each team. These two guys came up to me and my roomie and asked us to be on their team. The guys invited us to a party later that night. Of course, one of those guys is now my Mr. Harlot!
captaink From Mexico, joined May 2001, 5108 posts, RR: 12
Reply 8, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 2853 times:
In a bar. Where were friends for a long time because we were both in relationships (terrible relationships). When broke it off with our exs, we were there for each other through the "pain" etc. Until we finally realized that we are being silly and that we were perfect for each other, hence the long standing relationship we had. We started dating, it was amazing, we were great, and now we are married. I never believed in the soulmate bit, but now I kinda do, because she is the ONE..
By SO I mean a couple of years, but check my profile and there have been a lot of years already.
Never e-dated, don't go to bars. These are places people go to to be something they're not.
One in undergrad studies, next six where I worked. Current one was working as a short order cook at a cafe near where I work. Usual banter. Sometimes I would come in really early (before 6) to do admin, then go over to the cafe as Jen opened it up and have a denver. I always had a joke for her, sometimes risque, and fairly soon there was a bond, even though she's legally married.
So I asked her to lunch. And, as they say, the rest is history. She's beautiful, sweet, funny in her own right, a hard worker (after cafe hours end she goes and cleans houses for seniors), and cares for anything that if furry with four legs (her English mastiff decided to come along as well). And living in my house. Or our house, I think.
planejamie From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2011, 576 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (1 year 10 months 6 days ago) and read 2810 times:
I met my last "partner" (though it only lasted about 12 weeks) through twitter! (I'm a twitter addict) but that was kept quite quiet and stuff (as those of you who have read my thread in this forum will know). He lived in Doncaster and well I lived near Blackpool so we used to meet in Manchester a few times but it didn't really lead any further and he didn't want to do the distance (and I didn't want the risk involved anymore). However, most people my age just want sex and not really a relationship, however I prefer to have a relationship (sex is a bonus of that).
WindowSeat From United States of America, joined Sep 2003, 1311 posts, RR: 58
Reply 11, posted (1 year 10 months 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 2750 times:
We'd known each other for a couple of years as A.net 'friends' although we'd never met in person. We lost contact for a while and I'd written him off. Then out of the blue I get a message that he was moving to San Francisco (I was living in San Francisco at the time) and needed to know good neighbourhoods to live in. Finally we met when he moved to San Francisco; we went drinking the first night. It was an eventful night (and no, there was no sex involved). Since then we hung out frequently and don't remember when we crossed over from friends to dating. I do remember when he asked me to be his boyfriend.
I'd always had a crush on him but never thought I'd end up with him. He moved in about a year after we met. We've been happily together for four years now and making long term plans.
I'm all in favour of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with keyboards.
sccutler From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 5367 posts, RR: 27
Reply 12, posted (1 year 10 months 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 2671 times:
Likkered-up at a fraternity party.
I'd met her briefly some months prior but had forgotten her name, and for this reason, failed to properly greet her as she arrived at the party. She got a little drunk, and accused me of forgetting her name (well, guilty as charged, your honor!), so I grabbed her and kissed her. Hardly a wise strategy, but it seems to be working out OK. That was summer of 1980, and I have been married 29+ years. Time flies, but my wife- she's still a babe!
...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...
I'm not married, don't want to be (my choice..too lazy) but I had met my ex/still best friend at a bar. Totally by accident, and glad I decided to go out that night. I didn't feel like it, but was pressured into it.
Let's just say that "tequila makes her clothes fall off" ...
Charles79 From Puerto Rico, joined Mar 2007, 1321 posts, RR: 5
Reply 17, posted (1 year 10 months 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 2519 times:
Quoting Maverick623 (Reply 2): Dating sites are wayyy overrated. You know those commercials that claim "nearly 1 in 5 relationships now begin online"? "nearly 1 in 5" is a clever way of saying less than 20%.
I guess I'm one of the 20% then! I'm a bit shy by nature, hardly dance, and don't drink or smoke, so the bar scene was out of the question (I was also living in Los Angeles at the time and didn't care for the gay scene in West Hollywood as it was filled with nothing but judgemental, superficial, fickle primadonnas). I tried a few of the better known dating sites with mixed results until I tried a lesser known one and found my guy. He had just moved back to LA from Europe and was living with his parents. We chatted briefly online and soon agreed on meeting at a restaurant. The search was over the minute we met - he was exactly my type, I was his type, and the personalities complemented each other well. The second date was a visit to Disneyland and that outing sealed the deal...six years later we're still together (married for the last two), with a house and a cat.
From my experience I wouldn't say that the Internet is a game changer but it is certainly one additional tool available for dating. For the 80% who can find love without it I say good for you, but for the 20% of us who did we are glad it was there!
tugger From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 5194 posts, RR: 8
Reply 20, posted (1 year 10 months 5 days ago) and read 2468 times:
Quoting Bananaboy (Reply 3): ... and for me, the right person showed up when I wasn't even really looking for it.
Quoting AviRaider (Reply 19): I met my wife through my church's singles group, I wasn't even looking. It always seems to happen when you're not looking; seriously.
I met my wife "later in life" (in my 30's) through church of all places, we attended the same group (that supports and fixes up the church camp). We had known of each other for most of our lives but NEVER would have considered the other. We just didn't mix in the same circles and I am annoying and she is easily annoyed. But I do use paper and she likes origami so we were a perfect fit naturally.....
But in the group we had something in common, something to do together, and something to talk about. The next trip up to the mountains (where the camp is) she had an extra seat available in her car and I needed a ride up (right after I dropped the ride I already had set up ) and after that is was walking with her and her dog in the evenings, and after couple months of dating her (without her knowing it) she started dating me too! Really just a match made in heaven....
And now quite a few years later, with kids, a house in a great neighborhood, friends that we both like, and family that lives in the same region and all get along together, we really couldn't be happier.
The toughest part is to not try. I know it is a trite and oft repeated meme but "just be yourself" (though that is tough when you are trying to give a good impression to someone else). For me I made sure I was in situations where I could meet others with common interests doing activities that I liked and enjoyed, that way I was "my best self". And for some strange reason, I lucked out and that crap really worked.
I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
kent350787 From Australia, joined May 2008, 955 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (1 year 10 months 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2368 times:
I'd just moved cities and was heading out Oma date with a college girl. One of my new flat mates had invited the brother of a girl one of my other flat mates was studying with over, and he (still at high school) had invited a couple of schoolgirl friends over, one of whom was my wife.
We socialized in the same circles for a few months, and then one of her friends tasked her with keeping me away from her. We got talking and almost 25 years later are still together.
Northwest727 From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 491 posts, RR: 1
Reply 23, posted (1 year 10 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 2304 times:
Quoting WildcatYXU (Reply 15): High school. But no, we weren't high school sweethearts. Heck, we didn't even like each other in high school. Started dating only when the school was over.
Ha...sounds like my fiance. We "met" after I moved and transferred schools. I was in the 6th grade and was 11 years old, and so was she. We never talked throughout middle and high school. We graduated, and it wasn't until my junior year of college that we started talking on Facebook, and developed a crush on me. She finally admitted to wanting a relationship with me, and we hit it off. 4 years later, we are now engaged.
zippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 5355 posts, RR: 13
Reply 24, posted (1 year 10 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 2295 times:
Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 1): In a sauna, of all places. Exactly four years ago I was on my usual Saturday night trawl of the gay scene and I'd fallen asleep alone in one of the cubicles in the main Dublin sauna and woke up, probably after 5am, when the place had quietened down. I went walkabout to see who was around,
More power to you. Did you actually crash inside the sauna? If you did I give you props for being able to walk and talk much less meet your S/O.
This backs up that old Alan Funt (Candid Camera) quote: When you least expect it; somewhere, sometime, someplace... I met many of my ex girlfriends and ex-wife when I least expected it.
One of my ex's who I was considering tying the not; we met of all places in a dingy student Union (U of. Md. at College Park) in the dingy TV room. This was December 7, 1978. And all due to the soap All My Children! As a matter of fact she's on my Facebook page. Just look under my FB profile page for Andrea S.
[Edited 2012-05-15 14:20:18]
I'm Zippyjet & I approve of this message!
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