seb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11920 posts, RR: 15 Posted (2 years 8 months 3 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 1278 times:
A few things have happened over the past few days. For a few years I thought one way about a person. Then, I come to find out that something totally different is going on. One person I have looked up to for years is probably gay. Not an issue, but when you look at them for decades as straight and, all of a sudden, they come out... I embrace them as always, but it is still a shock. Another has come within 10 seconds of ending their life. I hate reality shifts...
Ken777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 8519 posts, RR: 9
Reply 3, posted (2 years 8 months 2 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 1036 times:
I can remember when I was in High School (50+ years ago) none of the kids in my class were openly gay. We didn't know one person who was. Well, there was one teacher who was seen coming out of the 8th Day (a gay bar here) but he was a good teacher so no one really cared.
Now, we had 680+ in our class. Looking back today, there is no way in hell that there were no gays in that class. Just like the Cruiser I was on in the Navy - 1,200+ on that ship and no one was openly gay.
Today it is easier for gays to be open and accepted. I have had gay co-workers and have friends with gay kids and there are no issues with that for me. I think your shock is simply because this person might be the first close friend to come out.
You can still look up to this person. I doubt very seriously that you didn't look up to that person for sexual reasons so there is really no reason to change you respect for them now.
I hear ya. I had a best friend from about 1st grade through 6th grade. There was always talk about him being gay, but he always told me he was straight, and I really believed him, all the way through high school (although we weren't nearly as close by then).
Finally, sometime after high school, he came out. It was strange - I can't say I was surprised....but at the same time, it made me reassess our childhood friendship to an extent.
After much reassessment, I think I finally came to the conclusion that who really cares? We had a normal friendship, there was nothing inappropriate or eyebrow-raising about it. I guess I wished he had told me at some point, but you really can't hold that against someone in middle/high school.
AR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 6700 posts, RR: 34
Reply 5, posted (2 years 8 months 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 1003 times:
I believe that having a fixed concept of reality, wether it is the two cases you mention or something else, is kind of boring. People, things, places and situations just don´t stay the same. It would be nice, but that just does not happen. The real reality, is that having a fixed concept of reality can hinder you, IMHO. Just flow with it, and embrace change as the normal rather than the strange.