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When Your Concept Of Reality Shifts...  
User currently offlineseb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11803 posts, RR: 15
Posted (2 years 7 months 2 weeks 1 day ago) and read 1250 times:

A few things have happened over the past few days. For a few years I thought one way about a person. Then, I come to find out that something totally different is going on. One person I have looked up to for years is probably gay. Not an issue, but when you look at them for decades as straight and, all of a sudden, they come out... I embrace them as always, but it is still a shock. Another has come within 10 seconds of ending their life. I hate reality shifts...


Life in the wall is a drag.
5 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlinealoges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8768 posts, RR: 42
Reply 1, posted (2 years 7 months 2 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 1187 times:

Quoting seb146 (Thread starter):
I hate reality shifts...

...but you don't seem to ignore them or develop a hatred for the people who cause those shifts. IMHO, that's the ticket to coping with them.



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineseb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11803 posts, RR: 15
Reply 2, posted (2 years 7 months 2 weeks ago) and read 1028 times:

Quoting aloges (Reply 1):
but you don't seem to ignore them or develop a hatred for the people who cause those shifts.

No. People change. Things happen. It just is shocking to me when something comes from out of nowhere. They are still important people to me.



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineKen777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 8483 posts, RR: 9
Reply 3, posted (2 years 7 months 2 weeks ago) and read 1008 times:

I can remember when I was in High School (50+ years ago) none of the kids in my class were openly gay. We didn't know one person who was. Well, there was one teacher who was seen coming out of the 8th Day (a gay bar here) but he was a good teacher so no one really cared.

Now, we had 680+ in our class. Looking back today, there is no way in hell that there were no gays in that class. Just like the Cruiser I was on in the Navy - 1,200+ on that ship and no one was openly gay.

Today it is easier for gays to be open and accepted. I have had gay co-workers and have friends with gay kids and there are no issues with that for me. I think your shock is simply because this person might be the first close friend to come out.

You can still look up to this person. I doubt very seriously that you didn't look up to that person for sexual reasons so there is really no reason to change you respect for them now.


User currently offlinevikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 10348 posts, RR: 26
Reply 4, posted (2 years 7 months 1 week 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 989 times:

Quoting seb146 (Thread starter):

I hear ya. I had a best friend from about 1st grade through 6th grade. There was always talk about him being gay, but he always told me he was straight, and I really believed him, all the way through high school (although we weren't nearly as close by then).

Finally, sometime after high school, he came out. It was strange - I can't say I was surprised....but at the same time, it made me reassess our childhood friendship to an extent.

After much reassessment, I think I finally came to the conclusion that who really cares? We had a normal friendship, there was nothing inappropriate or eyebrow-raising about it. I guess I wished he had told me at some point, but you really can't hold that against someone in middle/high school.



How can I be an admiral without my cap??!
User currently offlineAR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 6613 posts, RR: 35
Reply 5, posted (2 years 7 months 1 week 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 975 times:
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I believe that having a fixed concept of reality, wether it is the two cases you mention or something else, is kind of boring. People, things, places and situations just don´t stay the same. It would be nice, but that just does not happen. The real reality, is that having a fixed concept of reality can hinder you, IMHO. Just flow with it, and embrace change as the normal rather than the strange.

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