Ps76 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (11 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1585 times:
Hi!
I don't intend for this thread to be too serious but just wanted to ask if anyone else here has had such an experience. Basically my brother's wife thinks my family is like total losers and tries to spend as little time as possible with us. For example this weekend they drove the 3 hour trip over to spend like 4 days with her family and spent about 4 hours with us. This is very typical. In fact 4 hours proved a bit long so they cut it down to 3 and a half. And my bro seems happy to go along with it as I think he thinks her family is much cooler too. And when she is here she barely says a word to me, I always have to initiate the conversation and then she cuts it off. I know in the grand scheme of things this in not the World's biggest problem but I just wish I had a sister in law who was a bit more friendly and didn't look at us like we're rodents or something.
Anyone else have a similar experience or something related?
ManuCH From Switzerland, joined Jun 2005, 2971 posts, RR: 51 Reply 1, posted (11 months 3 weeks 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1565 times:
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I think that's actually a classic. I've seen more families where inlaws don't like each other, than the opposite.
I hardly spend any time with inlaws at all. It's not that we hate each other, but we simply are too different, and don't have anything in common at all.
type-rated From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 4350 posts, RR: 20 Reply 3, posted (11 months 3 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1479 times:
Consider yourself fortunate. You are probably better off without them.
If they don't like your family just think of what is going through their minds when they are sitting there smiling at you. Nothing you can do can change the way they think.
Fly North Central Airlines..The route of the Northliners!
babybus From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2003, 3512 posts, RR: 6 Reply 6, posted (11 months 3 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 1341 times:
That thing of 'my family are wonderful and your family are just scumbags' is a control device. You should tell your brother not to go along with it.
Anyway, why should you think you need to be friends with your brothers wife and her family? I would just let them get on with it. Maybe you and your brother could go to a football match together or something instead for some quality family time.
I've never liked my sisters' partners. Why should I. I'm nice to them but never make a big fuss of them.
and with that..cabin crew, seats for landing please.
type-rated From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 4350 posts, RR: 20 Reply 7, posted (11 months 3 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1210 times:
Quoting babybus (Reply 6): Maybe you and your brother could go to a football match together or something instead for some quality family time.
Because if you spend anytime with your brother his wife will bitch and moan at him about it. BB, you are right this is a control issue. I've seen this before with families over and over again.
Fly North Central Airlines..The route of the Northliners!
Ps76 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 8, posted (11 months 3 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 1035 times:
Hi!
Many thanks for the replies. I think I will just hang out with my brother more. He's a good guy. Maybe it's also like you said we have nothing in common. I mean my bro's wife is not really into engineering or film music!
HAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31201 posts, RR: 58 Reply 9, posted (11 months 2 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 937 times:
Look at it this way.....If Someone does not choose to talk to your family & your family is actually ok.Then that person would struggle with others too.
If your bro's wife hates spending time with you folks,at least your bro should have spent a lot more time with your family instead.
Aesma From France, joined Nov 2009, 4789 posts, RR: 9 Reply 10, posted (11 months 2 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 925 times:
You talked here about being Assyrian I think and wanting to save your people by marrying into your people, so maybe that's part of the problem ?
A cousin of mine married a Tunisian, but for the first years of her relationship with him her father wouldn't see him, much less his family, because of racist preconceptions.
New Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn't work yet. Douglas Adams
BrouAviation From Netherlands, joined Jun 2009, 981 posts, RR: 1 Reply 11, posted (11 months 2 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 906 times:
I am happy to have the best inlaws I could wish for, we get along very well. Also, the partners of my sisters-in-law and I get along very well as well. In fact, I just returned from a vacation with the whole family in law including partners and it was one of the best vacations in my life until now.
Especially when the relationship with your own family isn't perfect, having a good relationship with your inlaws can be a real blessing and adds a nice dimension to your relationship.
Quoting ManuCH (Reply 1): I think that's actually a classic. I've seen more families where inlaws don't like each other, than the opposite.
Well. the classic version is the one of the male not getting along with his mother in law, whereas without exception all the people I know who don't get along with their mother in law, are females! Mothers tend to interfere with their son's relationship more than they do with their daughters'..
[Edited 2012-06-07 04:43:16]
[Edited 2012-06-07 04:44:20]
Never ask somebody if he's a pilot. If he is, he will let you know soon enough!
Ps76 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 12, posted (11 months 2 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 880 times:
Hi!
Thanks for the replies. Interesting to hear people's thoughts. We don't really see much of each other anyway so I guess it's not too bad a problem. My mum seems to like my sister in law though which is good and she doesn't interfere at all. I guess they kinda have their own thing going on and maybe I should try and do the same.
HAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31201 posts, RR: 58 Reply 13, posted (11 months 2 weeks 5 days ago) and read 821 times:
Whats in our control is to be positive,cheerfull & ready to smile.Those that deserve such will appreciate it....The rest have a problem with themselves....