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Can We Make This An Acceptable Double Standard!  
User currently offlineStarAC17 From Canada, joined Aug 2003, 3331 posts, RR: 9
Posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 2988 times:

I think if any double standard is acceptable in today's society it is the older woman hooking up with the younger guy.

I saw this on Huff post and looking at this girl she is pretty hot. Yes I would hit that  . The jist of it is that Betsy Brashear a 24 year old lured a 15 year old into a tanning booth and kissed a 15 year old teen boy and was allegedly seen half naked. Now I know its not a perfect thing to do but it is better than the teachers doing because as far as I know this woman wasn't in any position of authority (a teacher is). Also lets be real that this guy isn't traumatized by this in fact he is high fiving his mates about it right now.

Now if the genders were reversed I do see the problem 100%, however I do see that things are not always equal when it comes to men and women. Domestic violence isn't penalized equally and the rates of it are about equal with women committing about half of it (in the west) but men doing it is the worst thing in the world where women who do it are often praised by others for it. This trend is changing slowly.

I just think that this woman shouldn't face felony charges for this as no one was really hurt here and there was no sex and no emotional damage to anyone. I do have to wonder why this woman has to resort to this when she shouldn't have issues with men. She might be crazy and no sane guy wants a relationship with her but she can get the physical satisfaction from the opposite sex I would assume.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...en_n_1628441.html?utm_hp_ref=crime

Thoughts??


Engineers Rule The World!!!!!
44 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineQFA380 From Australia, joined Jul 2005, 2059 posts, RR: 1
Reply 1, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 2979 times:

Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter):
Now if the genders were reversed I do see the problem 100%

She should face charges. There should be no institutionalised bias for or against either gender in the law. If it is illegal for a man it should be illegal for a woman. Whether you agree with the law or not shouldn't be dependant on the gender of the perpetrator.

I'm also sure that if a 15 year old girl kissed a hot 24 year old male she would most likely be getting the female equivalent of a high five from her buddies too (that is, raging jealousy).

Hopefully she will get put on the sex offender registry, and forced to notify her neighbours that she is a convicted child sex offender.

If it was a man everyone would be screaming pedophile saying he should be castrated but it's a woman so its fine...  


User currently offlineseb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11121 posts, RR: 15
Reply 2, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 2922 times:

Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter):
24 year old lured a 15 year old into a tanning booth

So, you want adults to be able to have sex with children? Really? I mean, REALLY?? That is messed up. Yes, I was 15 once too and, yes, I had crushes on adults. It happens. We all do. But, a 15 year old can not comprehend the future. Especially a boy. All they think about is their hormones. I would say no.

Second topic: Men really need to stand up and scream that it is never ever okay for a woman to be the abuser. We all need to stand behind men that are abused by their wives and tell society that this is never acceptable. Abuse by men is not acceptable and abuse by women is not acceptable. Ever.



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineRara From Germany, joined Jan 2007, 2010 posts, RR: 2
Reply 3, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 2914 times:

No sympathy from me. Kids aren't sex objects, neither from men nor from women.

Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter):
no one was really hurt here and there was no sex and no emotional damage to anyone.

That's a VERY dangerous road to go down. How many cases of attempted rape and sexual harrassment have been covered up with these exact words?



Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.
User currently offlineNewark727 From United States of America, joined Dec 2009, 1311 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 2854 times:

I'm 21 now, and even with a small level of distance from being age 15 I can tell you 100% certain that when I was 15, I was a MORON. I don't know what I would do, rationally or irrationally, at that age in that situation. Certainly I wouldn't be employing the entire capacity of my judgment.

User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 18675 posts, RR: 58
Reply 5, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 2845 times:

Quoting Newark727 (Reply 4):

I'm 21 now, and even with a small level of distance from being age 15 I can tell you 100% certain that when I was 15, I was a MORON.

  

And now watch how the next ten years are going to change you. You ain't seen nothing yet!


User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7262 posts, RR: 52
Reply 6, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 2814 times:

I know I should join yall's opinions on the double standard and all but...

why couldn't this have happened to me when I was 15!?   



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently offlineEasternSon From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 666 posts, RR: 1
Reply 7, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 2762 times:

I know a kid who had an affair with an almost 30yr old woman, starting when he was just 15.

It's a long story, with many twists and turns, but they got married, then divorced.

He was arrested last year for having sex with a 14 year old girl. He was 34.

Being taken advantage of at 15 twisted his brain badly enough to make him think there was nothing wrong with having sex with a 14 year old girl.

As cool of a story as it might be to brag about in sophmore gym class, it'll screw you up badly down the road.



"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
User currently offlineStarAC17 From Canada, joined Aug 2003, 3331 posts, RR: 9
Reply 8, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 2596 times:

Quoting seb146 (Reply 2):
So, you want adults to be able to have sex with children? Really? I mean, REALLY?? That is messed up. Yes, I was 15 once too and, yes, I had crushes on adults.

No I'm not encouraging this behaviour but I feel that this isn't a criminal act unless it can be proven that there was emotional damage done. We have experts that should be able to determine this.

Quoting seb146 (Reply 2):
Second topic: Men really need to stand up and scream that it is never ever okay for a woman to be the abuser.

Here is the problem, men can do anything as them reporting it usually gets a laugh from the police and they can't hit back. This need to be fixed but I'm not sure how to do it.

Quoting Rara (Reply 3):
That's a VERY dangerous road to go down. How many cases of attempted rape and sexual harrassment have been covered up with these exact words?

I think it should be taken on a case by case basis, there are incidents out there that an 18 year old gets the same level of punishment for having sex with their 17 year old partner. There should be a psychological evaluation of the parties involved to see if any actual damage was done and if yes pay a huge penalty for your action, if not it should be less.

In this case the luring should be the biggest issue I think over the act itself. It often not the sex itself that is damaging its the emotional control that is present or not if that is determined to be something that is lacking then I do feel the offence is lesser.

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 6):
why couldn't this have happened to me when I was 15!?  

I was trying to make this thread a little funnier than it came out to kind of incite that point. I do see the side of the people who want the book thrown at this woman.



Engineers Rule The World!!!!!
User currently offlineltbewr From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 12878 posts, RR: 12
Reply 9, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 2586 times:

In the USA, we have a very twisted attitude as to sex. Far too much we encourage teen men to have sex to prove your an adult, prove your a 'real man', to be popular with your peers, ignoring the responsibilities that sex has including STD's, the emotional affects and creating a child. We really need to discourage teen sex by both males and females, adults should have sex if they choose with those of at least of legal age and understanding the risks and not just the good feelings sex gives. Some state by the way don't look at a 18 y.o having sex with a 17 y.o as statutory rape, but a 21 y.o. with a 17 or less it is. The teen should 'say no' knowing it is morally questionable and may be legally wrong.

Yes an adult having sex with a minor should carry the same penalties no matter the adult's gender. Indeed we need to change our attitudes and sentencing laws to recognize the huge harm such behaviors cause and should be seen as sexual assault.


User currently offlinetravelavnut From Netherlands, joined May 2010, 1535 posts, RR: 7
Reply 10, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 2580 times:

Quoting Newark727 (Reply 4):
I can tell you 100% certain that when I was 15, I was a MORON.

Having sex with a hot woman is never a stupid idea  
Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 6):
why couldn't this have happened to me when I was 15!?

This.



Live From Amsterdam!
User currently offlineStarAC17 From Canada, joined Aug 2003, 3331 posts, RR: 9
Reply 11, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 2570 times:

Quoting ltbewr (Reply 9):
Far too much we encourage teen men to have sex to prove your an adult, prove your a 'real man', to be popular with your peers, ignoring the responsibilities that sex has including STD's, the emotional affects and creating a child.

This isn't just the US its everywhere, its peer pressure and immaturity and its been going on for centuries. I think only with maturity someone realizes that sex isn't a race.

Quoting ltbewr (Reply 9):
We really need to discourage teen sex by both males and females, adults should have sex if they choose with those of at least of legal age and understanding the risks and not just the good feelings sex gives. Some state by the way don't look at a 18 y.o having sex with a 17 y.o as statutory rape, but a 21 y.o. with a 17 or less it is. The teen should 'say no' knowing it is morally questionable and may be legally wrong.

Discouraging teen sex doesn't work there are too many natural instincts that overpower it. The rates of teens having sex have hardly changed, we are just as horny as ever. In fact the age teens are losing their virginities is getting later IIRC. However not being open and having the discussion with teenagers about safe sex and the emotional issues that they are dealing with. Sex ed. is really important and if you look at the stats from US states the ones that lead in teen pregnancies and STI's are the ones that have poor sex ed or even discourage it.



Engineers Rule The World!!!!!
User currently offlineseb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11121 posts, RR: 15
Reply 12, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 2 hours ago) and read 2537 times:

Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 8):
I feel that this isn't a criminal act unless it can be proven that there was emotional damage done.
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 8):
We have experts that should be able to determine this.

There are numerous studies that prove there is emotional damage done when an adult has sex with a teen. It has been determined. Studies all over the place. It is quite easy to google it.

Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 8):
them reporting it usually gets a laugh from the police and they can't hit back. This need to be fixed but I'm not sure how to do it.

The way to do it is to stand with the man. Not just on an internet forum, but in real life. Let him know he is doing the right thing at it is not to be laughed at and he is more of a man for standing up for himself.

Quoting ltbewr (Reply 9):
we encourage teen men to have sex to prove your an adult, prove your a 'real man', to be popular with your peers,

What really gets me is: men are encouraged to have sex with as many as possible and that is percieved as a good thing, but if a woman does the exact same thing, she is not to be touched. I never got that.



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineIMissPiedmont From United States of America, joined May 2001, 6260 posts, RR: 34
Reply 13, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 2511 times:

Quoting StarAC17 (Thread starter):
Now if the genders were reversed I do see the problem 100%,

You are serious? The 15 year old girl is just as likely as the 15 year old boy to be "high fiving" her mates. Neither is able to make a good decision.



Is grammar no longer taught is schools? Saying "me and her" or some such implies illiteracy.
User currently offlinemham001 From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 3389 posts, RR: 2
Reply 14, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 2499 times:

What if it were a 24 year old man doing the molesting?

User currently offlineRara From Germany, joined Jan 2007, 2010 posts, RR: 2
Reply 15, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 2499 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 6):
why couldn't this have happened to me when I was 15!?   
Quoting travelavnut (Reply 10):
Having sex with a hot woman is never a stupid idea  

If you two have no issue with a 15 year old girl having sex with a 24 year old "hot man", then alright.



Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.
User currently offlineseb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11121 posts, RR: 15
Reply 16, posted (1 year 9 months 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 2480 times:

Quoting seb146 (Reply 12):
Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 8):I feel that this isn't a criminal act unless it can be proven that there was emotional damage done. Quoting StarAC17 (Reply 8):We have experts that should be able to determine this.
There are numerous studies that prove there is emotional damage done when an adult has sex with a teen. It has been determined. Studies all over the place. It is quite easy to google it.

And, look at Jerry Sandusky. No damage done there, right? Look at Catholic priests. No damage done there, right?



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7262 posts, RR: 52
Reply 17, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2442 times:

Quoting Rara (Reply 15):
If you two have no issue with a 15 year old girl having sex with a 24 year old "hot man", then alright.

I do, I was just joking. Quite "awesome" for the 15 year old at the time (maybe) but it can and often does lead to bad consequences. The woman should be punished as harshly as the guy, but I doubt that would happen.

On a side note, what do yall think is the appropriate age for consent? It's different here from state to state. Does age gap matter? How about a 15 and 16 year old? A 15 and 24 year old? A 17 and 24 year old? 18 and 50 year old?



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently offlineslider From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6659 posts, RR: 35
Reply 18, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2430 times:

To paraphrase the late George Carlin, I'm tired of these boys being called "victims". Let's call them what they are: "lucky bastards."


But seriously, there is and has been a double standard and it's BS.


User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 18675 posts, RR: 58
Reply 19, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 2408 times:

Quoting Rara (Reply 15):
If you two have no issue with a 15 year old girl having sex with a 24 year old "hot man", then alright.

There is one little issue. For a man (be he 15 or 95) to have sex, he HAS to be willing. Otherwise, the flesh ain't up to the task.

I'm not saying it should be legal, but it's hard to call it "rape."


User currently offlineDesertJets From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7737 posts, RR: 16
Reply 20, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 2397 times:

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 19):
There is one little issue. For a man (be he 15 or 95) to have sex, he HAS to be willing. Otherwise, the flesh ain't up to the task.

I remember being 15 and I remember it not taking much to become aroused. A errant breeze could get a 15 year old under the influence of his little brain, you gotta wonder what an attractive but crazy 24 year old half naked would do.



Stop drop and roll will not save you in hell. --- seen on a church marque in rural Virginia
User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 18675 posts, RR: 58
Reply 21, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 2377 times:

Quoting DesertJets (Reply 20):
A errant breeze could get a 15 year old under the influence of his little brain, you gotta wonder what an attractive but crazy 24 year old half naked would do.

I don't have to wonder. We all know the answer.


User currently offlinetugger From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 5245 posts, RR: 8
Reply 22, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 2357 times:

I think the biggest issue I have with this type of stuff is the fact that often people end up in "sexual predator" lists for the rest of their lives for something that they are likely to never do again or had minimal affect on the underage person (I am not saying it does not affect nor that the effect might be harmful).

To me, these people are not the dangerous people that you need to really focus on and utilize societies resources on. While it is not desirable, I would say that someone needs to demonstrate a inclination to do this again (say they are caught a second time) or that what was done has to be much worse (forced, a lot time "grooming" the person to be open to the act, etc) before you get put on sex offender roles.

The restrictions upon a sexual predators life are severe and for good reason and we need to make sure that those restrictions can be effective and maintained and that means not filling up places for these people to live with idiots like this woman or the guy that drunkenly peed on a school fence. And we need to allow our law enforcement resources to focus on the real, demonstrated, bad people.

Did this woman deserve to be arrested and tried and have a criminal record? Yes. Does she need to be placed on the sexual predators list with all its incumbent restrictions if this is her only act? In my opinion, No.

Tugg



I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
User currently offlineRara From Germany, joined Jan 2007, 2010 posts, RR: 2
Reply 23, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 2327 times:

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 19):
There is one little issue. For a man (be he 15 or 95) to have sex, he HAS to be willing. Otherwise, the flesh ain't up to the task.

I'm not saying it should be legal, but it's hard to call it "rape."

Hmm, I think the contemporary definition of rape is a bit wider than just forcible penetration against someone's will. Abuse of a position of authority, or coercion, are probably also included. The term has changed quite a bit over time, as sexual violence has become less acceptable. For instance, only some decades ago, rape within marriage was by definition impossible. Rather unbelievable from today's point of view. On the other hand, if you read e.g. some feminist blogs and suchlike, they throw the word rape around like there's no tomorrow...

Anyway, I see your point about physical necessities, but in such an extreme situation, bodies can react quite unpredictably. For instance, apparently a lot of women who are raped experience orgasms during rape against their will, which later only adds to the shame and feeling of humiliation. So it may be possible for a woman to rape a man, even though it sounds unlikely from a "normality" point of view.



Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.
User currently offlineStarAC17 From Canada, joined Aug 2003, 3331 posts, RR: 9
Reply 24, posted (1 year 9 months 2 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 2315 times:

Quoting seb146 (Reply 16):
And, look at Jerry Sandusky. No damage done there, right? Look at Catholic priests. No damage done there, right?

That was actual sexual assault and I am by no means promoting that.

But actual Rape and Statutory rape are not the same crime IMO and making someone labelled a sexual offender for life for having sex with someone that could be a year younger (18 year old and a 17 year old) is not really a criminal offence and should be a misdemeanour. It can be charged criminally but should be done so after being investigated. IE a teacher using sex to blackmail a student should be charged criminally.

[Edited 2012-06-29 18:11:23]


Engineers Rule The World!!!!!
25 gemuser : StarAC17, from your OP, what charges could she face in Australia? She kissed him? Really? This is a problem? He saw her half naked? Whatever that mea
26 Airstud : Well for one thing in the U.S. the age of consent is 18, see.
27 DeltaMD90 : Not in every state... it's 16 in many states, some with close age requirements and some without them
28 seb146 : If a 17 year old has relations with an 18 or 19 year old, I see no problem with that. If they had been dating for some time, there really is no probl
29 Post contains links DeltaMD90 : This may help: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America
30 Aesma : I don't think the double standard is acceptable. I think the age of consent should be lowered. At 15 you can be a kid, but you can also be an adult. B
31 gemuser : OK, I missed that, I assumed, wrongly he was quoting an Oz article. But even so 16 is still the age of consent in OK. But still kissing is a "lewd ac
32 mham001 : A 15 year old "adult" is certainly the exception. So we should sacrifice the majority who are not mature for the sake a very few? Let the pedophiles
33 mham001 : So by that argument, as commonly happens, if a woman is wet during a rape, it's not rape?
34 Post contains links and images kiwirob : As a former 15 year old boy I would have been all over her, when I was 15, heck if I wasn't married I'd do her now. The kid must be a bit weird for no
35 Aesma : By adult I mean able to make such decisions, if you wish. Of course there is no comparison to someone being 40, but then again it's exactly the same
36 mham001 : I consider the men who molested me at that age to be pedophiles.
37 mham001 : What would your reaction be if he told you a 24 year old (man) was banging him?
38 Rara : Also your 15 year old daughter?
39 DeltaMD90 : Awkward....... But you bring up a good point, 2 15 year olds doing it is a lot different than a 15 and 40 year old, no? Maybe the best system is a pr
40 Post contains images Rara : Standard rule of creepiness: don't date under half your age plus seven.
41 kiwirob : The legal age here is 16, I don't see a lot of difference between 15 and 16, but hopefully when she is 15 will be sensible enough to make the right d
42 Superfly : As terrible as what happened to you was, those men were not pedophiles. They were Ephebophiles. Ephebophilia is an attraction to teenager/late adoles
43 mham001 : Yes, it's quite the party conversation piece. While you hear of an exception occasionally, state laws and the courts usually take age difference into
44 Aesma : Just to be clear, what do you mean by molested ? Don't want any details but are you saying molested because with time gone by you think now that you
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