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The Best And Worst James Bond Villians.  
User currently offlinezippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 5398 posts, RR: 12
Posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 2876 times:

We've covered the themes and Bond hotties have been covered so, it's time to rate the villains.

My favorites by far:
Auric Goldfinger: Gerd Froeb
Blofeld # 1 Donald Pleasance

Though I hated the movie Live and Let Die, William Holder cool as Konanga.
The Italian dude in Thunderball wasn't bad.

Hugo Drax the villian (MIchael Londsdale) was creepy and unlikeable. When he got shot with that dart and ejected out of the Moonraker shuttle I remember the audience and me clapping; good riddance to a punk villian.

Dr. No was also a cool villian. Kojack as Blofeld just didn't cut it after the earlier kitty lovin baldy bad asses.

Now onto the henchmen and women:
My favorites:
Rosa Kleb: Sort of an Eastern bloc KD Lang. Actually way ahead of her time. Had Ms. Kleb been around even 7 to 10 years later she would have hooked up or enslaved a lipstick hottie as her bitch/girlfriend. The two could have driven off into the sunset in their Subaru wagon or SUV listening to Melissa Etheridge and watching Ellen and Oprah on the video entertainment system. Poor Rosa Kleb you were years too early and a Rouble short.   

Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wynt: America's evil fun couple. Had they not been burned and thrown overboard by Bond, James Bond they could today be enjoying the likes of Justin Beiber, Ricky Martin, Lance Bass, and Maroon 5. They'd have an autographed box set to Glee, Will and Grace and what will become quite rare a box set of the lame CBS not funny sitcom Partners.

Odd Job: A bad ass who knew how to flip his lid.

Bamby and Thumper: They could have given evil Rosa Kleb those special rubdowns and wrestled together.

Jaws: A great gimmick for two films. However Jaws turned over a new leaf when he hooked up with that hottie nerdess with the peepers and pigtails in Moonraker. Just think they could have spawned a child who would go on to be elected as a Republican to become the POTUS in the 2020 or 2030's!

Nick Nack: De Pleen, De Pleen: Nick Nack (actor Herbe Valachez) had he lived would probably have hooked up with Susan Anton, Stacy Keibler or better yet Bond Girl Famke Jansen.

Now, if I were coming up with future Hench/henchwomen for future Bond films here are some of my choices:

Male:

1. The two Wayans brothers from "In Livin Color" reprising their Men on Film characters.
2. Jim Kerry reprising his Fire Marshall Bill gone rogue and mental.
3. Ethan Supple: Randy from My Name is Earl (his character name would be "Short Bus" sort of the successor to Jaws.
4. "Hung" The petite Asian restaurateur from Two Broke Girls. He'd be a cross between Nick Nack and Odd Job.
5. "Randall" better known as the storyteller to Honey Badger
6. The Soup Nazi made famous on Seinfeld. The No Soup For You Meany could actually be a Bond villian.

Female:
1. Precious: A female hefty version of Jaws and Odd Job
2. Mo-Nique: Mother to "Precious" could be the next Odd Job or has what it takes to be the star Bond villainess.
3. Berta: The deep voiced butch maid from Two and A Half Men.
4. Anka Radakovich: Sex advice writer with her smoky bedroom voice, bodacious ta ta's.
5. Danielle Donato: Former Hooter's Girl and hard bodied brunette hottie from the Big Brother Reality series. She'd make a great torture chamber/executioner. Imagine her all sweaty and buff trying to embalm James Bond alive.
6. Hottie Adrianne Curry: Another Amazon brunette hard bodied hottie who likes to wear less. She too could be a great villainess/executioner/mistress of torture. She would get a leg up on James Bond. "Mr. Bond, have you ever tried asphyxiation sex? Within seconds my knee will be pulverizing your face which will the last thing you'll ever smell or feel on this Earth!"


I'm Zippyjet & I approve of this message!
17 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlinehomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2239 posts, RR: 15
Reply 1, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 2767 times:

Quoting zippyjet (Thread starter):
Though I hated the movie Live and Let Die, William Holder cool as Konanga.

Yaphet Kotto played Konanga; you are thinking of Geoffrey Holder, who played Baron Samedi, Konanga's henchman



"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlinezippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 5398 posts, RR: 12
Reply 2, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 2742 times:

Quoting homer71 (Reply 1):

Thank You. Live and Let Die was such a turkey for a James Bond movie that I forgot many of the details except that it was the most dated James Bond film by far. Roger Moore as 007 was likable and the humor would have made me rate this film a 2 instead of a goose egg zero. It was like a bad combination of a bad imitation of Black Exploitation combined with the hackneyed obnoxiousness of Love American Style and Rowan and Martin's Laugh. By 1973 Laugh In was laughable in the ratings and finally put out of it's misery. Also the absence of John Barry's music made this Bond flick not worthy of the James Bond 007 brand.




I'm Zippyjet & I approve of this message!
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31568 posts, RR: 57
Reply 3, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 2687 times:

What about kabir bedi....


Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineHOMsAR From United States of America, joined Jan 2010, 1103 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 4 days ago) and read 2675 times:

Don't know if it would make sense to create a new thread for every little sub-topic of Bond films, but what about some of the worst Bond characters ever (not necessarily villains, though you sometimes wished Bond would turn his PPK on them and be done with them)?

For me, they would be the Louisiana Sheriff. Annoying as hell in Live and Let Die, and absolutely no reason for him to have shown up in The Man with the Golden Gun. Then there were the "secret agents" that didn't know which way to point a gun. The one in Golden Gun (Goodnight) was kinda cute, but still too dumb to believe that she's supposed to help defend the free world. There were a couple others as well, though I can't remember which movies they were in.



I was raised by a cup of coffee.
User currently offlinezckls04 From United States of America, joined Dec 2011, 1169 posts, RR: 3
Reply 5, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 2644 times:

Best:

Clearly Goldfinger is the perfect Bond villain. Played perfectly by Gert Frobe and voiced perfectly by Michael Collins. There is no way his performance could be better. Shame the rest of the film is not quite up to scratch.

Blofeld is my second favorite, but only the Blofeld before he became visible in YOLT, i.e. when he was just some hands and a cat (side note- I have always preferred the theory that the cat is Blofeld, and it just takes over a different human host in every movie, hence the changing actors. But that's another story). As mysterious and evil as could be, especially when he fries the embezzler at the start of Thunderball. That scene wouldn't work if he wasn't hidden.

Max Zorin- OK, the film isn't to everybody's taste (although I love it; you just have to mentally halve Bond's age to make it plausible). A perfect psychopath, summed up by the little giggle when he falls off the Golden Gate. I also like the way he says "you amuse me, Mr. Bond!".

General Orloff- Steven Berkoff slumming it (I love it when he does that, c.f. Beverly Hills Cop). A sulky, egotistical child, perfect for the movie.

Honorable mention to General Gogol- oft forgotten, but not by me. Not really a villain I guess, but a fantastic character.

Worst:

Jonathan Pryce as Elliott Carver. Just totally non-menacing. The demeanor of an Environmental Science teacher. A terrible villain for a terrible film.

Quoting HOMsAR (Reply 4):
but what about some of the worst Bond characters ever

Goodnight (as you've mentioned) is the worst character ever. I don't particularly mind JW Pepper though- maybe I've got used to him.

"R". I love John Cleese, but we could really have done without him in this series.

Jaws and the elfin nerd girl in Moonraker. Dr. Goodhead in Moonraker. Actually every single character in Moonraker with the possible exception of Corinne Durfort.



If you're not sure whether to use a piece of punctuation, it's best not to.
User currently offlineflyingturtle From Switzerland, joined Oct 2011, 2035 posts, RR: 13
Reply 6, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 2625 times:

I don't have to think much about the worst villain. It's the one from "Quantum of Solace", Dominic Greene. What a normal, harmless name to begin with...

The best one is Goldfinger. Together with Scaramanga. Both have some (life-)style.



David



Keeping calm is terrorism against those who want to live in fear.
User currently offlinePSA53 From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 3049 posts, RR: 4
Reply 7, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 2605 times:

The worst kind of villain is one you thought you can trust and even worse, one that you have affections for is pure betrayal.

"Casino Royale"-Eva Green as Vesper Lynd
"The World Is Not Enough" Sophie Marceau as Electra King
"Golden Eye: Sean Bean as Alec Trevelyan

And then other favs::

Robert Shaw(Grant)
Oddjob
Goldfinger
Dr.No

Quoting zckls04 (Reply 5):
General Orloff- Steven Berkoff slumming it (I love it when he does that, c.f. Beverly Hills Cop). A sulky, egotistical child, perfect for the movie.



Always a great villain you'd love to hate.

Quoting zckls04 (Reply 5):
Jonathan Pryce as Elliott Carver. Just totally non-menacing. The demeanor of an Environmental Science teacher. A terrible villain for a terrible film.



Pryce was the fictional character of Rupert Murdoch.As the power media monger CEO,I thought Pryce did pretty well

Overall,It's pretty hard to pick a worst But had pick one or two-

Joe Don Baker's-Brad Whitaker in "The Living Daylights"
Christropher Walken's,Max Zorin in "View To A Kill"



Tuesday's Off! Do not disturb.
User currently offlinezippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 5398 posts, RR: 12
Reply 8, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 2581 times:

Quoting zckls04 (Reply 5):
Jaws and the elfin nerd girl in Moonraker.

Actually, the character "Dolly" Jaw's true love was normal size. Jaws (the late Richard Kiel was over 7 feet tall.) Originally they wanted a 7" female counterpart but opted for actress Blanche Ravalac. She's French and has been in a few other movies.
Recent picture of this actress. She looks to be of normal size.

Moonraker seemed to have all the gadgets and though it was panned I actually enjoyed it. There were some elements of the classic James Bond films from the 60's. Shirley Bassey doing the theme (theme was jusk OK but Dame Bassey made lemon aid out of that lemon), Bond almost getting killed in a centrifuge, and an actual plot that sadly could be relevant today (Eugenics/Master Race). Of the 70's Bond films (Roger Moore Era) I liked Moonraker and Man With The Golden Gun the best.

Sherrif Pepper was perfect for Live and Let Die. This turkey used almost all the cliche's of 70's movies and actually pre-dated Smokey and the Bandit. During the 70's the hippo sized southern redneck cop was a ripe for satire. And Jaws was an exploitation to that notorius shark that scared the sh*t out of beach goers. That was the 70's for you love it or hate it.



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User currently offlinegarnetpalmetto From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 5327 posts, RR: 53
Reply 9, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 2573 times:

Quoting zippyjet (Reply 8):
(the late Richard Kiel was over 7 feet tall.)

Correction here, Richard Kiel is only late if he's not running on time - he's still quite alive, although from what I understand he's largely retired from Hollywood.

Interestingly it seems it was Kiel's idea to go with a shorter actress as his own wife is 5'1"

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/1388...den-of-geek-interview-richard-kiel

That’s an interesting story. Remember the scene where she comes in and helps get the cable car debris off me, she smiles and I smile and my teeth glint in the sunlight, and they played the Romeo and Juliet music? That almost didn’t happen. Mr Broccoli had found a 7'7" woman who he wanted to play Dolly. It would have been a funny thing but it would have been a quick laugh and that would have been it.

It was having the small woman that was much more charming. I had to talk him into not doing that and going with the tiny woman. They were kind of reluctant and said will the audience believe it? I said, “My wife is 5'1" and I have two children and one on the way, so obviously it works. Opposites attract."


[Edited 2012-10-08 14:08:35]


South Carolina - too small to be its own country, too big to be a mental asylum.
User currently offlinezippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 5398 posts, RR: 12
Reply 10, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 2472 times:

I always liked the character of Dolly. Blonde Buff, with glasses and pigtails and that smile! Just my cup of tea. Many women who look like that are ferocious in bed and will plum tucker you out. Nothing wrong with that. It's interesting how during the Roger Moor era the sidekicks to the villians actually upstaged the main badasses. At least in Goldfinger and From Russia with Love the sidekicks complimented their diabolical bosses. It's a shame the Bond movies got rid of Spectre. Today with conspiracy theories, the Taliban, the Illuminati Spectre is again in vogue.


I'm Zippyjet & I approve of this message!
User currently offlinehomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2239 posts, RR: 15
Reply 11, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2428 times:

Quoting zippyjet (Reply 10):
It's a shame the Bond movies got rid of Spectre.

You can thank Kevin McClory for that

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SPECTRE#Copyright_issues



"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlineEA CO AS From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 13254 posts, RR: 62
Reply 12, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2424 times:
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Best: tie between Auric Goldfinger and Francisco Scaramanga.

Worst: Max Zorin



"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan
User currently offlineslider From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6660 posts, RR: 35
Reply 13, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2423 times:

I'm not a huge Bond afficionado, but have seen them at all at one point or another.

Just going from memory, I hated those two putzes in Diamonds are Forever...the henchmen guys who worked for Willard Whyte. Don't remember their names, but even given the campy and sometimes offbeat nature of Bond films, they were unwatchable....ugh.

And Jill St John was the dumbest of the dumb broads that ever graced a Bond film.

Gert Froeb's Goldfinger was the best Bond villain EVER.


User currently offlineus330 From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 3840 posts, RR: 14
Reply 14, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 2416 times:

Quoting zckls04 (Reply 5):
Jonathan Pryce as Elliott Carver. Just totally non-menacing. The demeanor of an Environmental Science teacher. A terrible villain for a terrible film.

Just the concept of having a media tycoon as a villain was unmenacing. It's an interesting idea in theory--how media could shape foreign policy and could lead to war between countries (See yellow journalism in the US w the Spanish American War)--but the execution of the concept in TND was just horrible.


User currently offlinezckls04 From United States of America, joined Dec 2011, 1169 posts, RR: 3
Reply 15, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 2405 times:

Quoting us330 (Reply 14):
Just the concept of having a media tycoon as a villain was unmenacing. It's an interesting idea in theory--how media could shape foreign policy and could lead to war between countries (See yellow journalism in the US w the Spanish American War)--but the execution of the concept in TND was just horrible.

The idea is fine, it's just the wrong movie to put it in I think. Bond villains should scare you, but what's scary about a villain who already exists and we're all used to?

Quoting slider (Reply 13):
And Jill St John was the dumbest of the dumb broads that ever graced a Bond film.

Well that's the ridiculous thing about that film- she wasn't at the start! She was a great character until about halfway through the movie when they decide to make her into an utter idiot. Very odd; it's almost as if they sacked half the writing staff halfway through and brought in some more misogynistic ones.

Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 12):
Worst: Max Zorin

So, so wrong. You just are so full of wrong. Back to school for you!

[Edited 2012-10-10 10:35:06]


If you're not sure whether to use a piece of punctuation, it's best not to.
User currently offlinestarbuk7 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 599 posts, RR: 5
Reply 16, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 2383 times:

Quoting garnetpalmetto (Reply 9):
Richard Kiel is only late if he's not running on time - he's still quite alive, although from what I understand he's largely retired from Hollywood.


He was at the San Diego Comic Con this last summer (July 2012) signing autographs at one of the booths. Nice guy but he is looking and feeling his age now. Looked like he was moving really slow when walking around with a noticeable limp.


User currently offlinezippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 5398 posts, RR: 12
Reply 17, posted (1 year 6 months 1 week 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 2350 times:

Quoting zckls04 (Reply 15):
The idea is fine, it's just the wrong movie to put it in I think. Bond villains should scare you, but what's scary about a villain who already exists and we're all used to?



True that but, sometimes a weak villain can be bolstered by a really psycho or hilarious sidekick. And the forms of death and torture can be scary or grotesque to elevate the fear and suspense of the movie. The remake of Coma on AMC this past summer though we knew the plot, the coma patients were handled in a macabre and very scary manner. (a metal rod went through their body like meat on a rotisserie and the body's moved and rotated on a labyrinth conveyor belt. And then there was the room where they were experimenting and butchering up human body parts and organs!) The Bond movies up and coming could take a cue or two from the remake of Coma.



I'm Zippyjet & I approve of this message!
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