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Spoiled Brats At Xmas Time  
User currently offlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8021 posts, RR: 26
Posted (1 year 7 months 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 2964 times:

http://gawker.com/5971203/christmas-...-about-their-free-gifts-on-twitter

http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/12/worst-xmas-ever/

Boy talk about making the blood boil. I suppose one useful thing about social media is now we can actually quantify how many ungrateful twits are out there being raised by materialistic parents who turn out these little sh*ts.

This is actually connected to the incident in Connecticut in some way. Mentally ill or not, people are being raised with the wrong expectations for just about everything.

This is another uncomfortable topic society really needs to start addressing openly and en masse.


If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
32 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlinejetblueguy22 From United States of America, joined Nov 2007, 2760 posts, RR: 4
Reply 1, posted (1 year 7 months 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 2899 times:
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Quoting Aaron747 (Thread starter):
This is actually connected to the incident in Connecticut in some way.

This has nothing to do with the incident. That kid had a disturbing mental disorder, these kids are just spoiled.

I'm not sure how parents can let their kids get this way. I grew up in a fairly well off family. My parents never spoiled me. I had a job at 16, if I wanted a car I was expected to pay for it, I pay for half my college. It's all fair in my book. It has made me independent. But some of these kids I go to university with are just unbelievable. Mommy and daddy hand them everything. I think I saw 15-20 iPhone 5's in my lecture of 100 the day the first deliveries were being made!! It is funny though, the overly spoiled kids never seem to make it more than a semester or two....   .
Blue



You push down on that yoke, the houses get bigger, you pull back on the yoke, the houses get bigger- Ken Foltz
User currently offlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8021 posts, RR: 26
Reply 2, posted (1 year 7 months 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 2892 times:

Quoting jetblueguy22 (Reply 1):
This has nothing to do with the incident.

It does actually - some posters on this forum have made very salient points about it. Some people are brought up to believe everything will just come to them, and when it doesn't they can't handle it. Some even get sick. And some get sick enough to snap. Expectations play a big part in a person's mental outlook, and by extension, health.



If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
User currently offlineHoMsaR From United States of America, joined Jan 2010, 1160 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (1 year 7 months 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 2848 times:

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 2):
Some people are brought up to believe everything will just come to them, and when it doesn't they can't handle it. Some even get sick. And some get sick enough to snap. Expectations play a big part in a person's mental outlook, and by extension, health

True. However, part of it is society's fault for presenting certain images making people actually believe that if they don't have certain things, they fail in life (you know, the so-called "American Dream" and whatnot).

What's equally as bad is when people see that, and overextend themselves financially in an attempt to attain an unrealistic lifestyle, only to have it come crashing down on them, perhaps making them even more desperate as they lose ground compared to where they could have been if they'd just kept things simple in the first place.

At one point, in the NRA thread, I was going to write some comments on this topic. But it got too long, and was too far off-topic (not that that has ever stopped people before), and I never posted it, but I've got it all saved in a rough draft somewhere. Maybe I'll go over it again, revise it and post it at some point, but it was centered around the expectations that society appears to set, and other issues that impact the mental health of our populace.



I was raised by a cup of coffee.
User currently offlineitsjustme From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 2768 posts, RR: 10
Reply 4, posted (1 year 7 months 5 days 1 hour ago) and read 2820 times:

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 2):
Some people are brought up to believe everything will just come to them, and when it doesn't they can't handle it. Some even get sick. And some get sick enough to snap. Expectations play a big part in a person's mental outlook, and by extension, health.

That's a bit of a stretch, with regard to the Sandy Hook murders. So, because Adam Lanza's parents perhaps didn't give him an iPod or an X-Box when he was younger, he killed 20 six year olds? Like I said..a bit of a stretch.


User currently offlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8021 posts, RR: 26
Reply 5, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 2749 times:

Quoting itsjustme (Reply 4):
So, because Adam Lanza's parents perhaps didn't give him an iPod or an X-Box when he was younger, he killed 20 six year olds? Like I said..a bit of a stretch.

That's a limited interpretation. You have to look at it in a big picture sense as that's where the logical connection is. I am talking about influences on mental health here, not A -> B causation.



If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
User currently offlineJoePatroni707 From United States of America, joined Dec 2012, 493 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 15 hours ago) and read 2685 times:

I went to the trouble to buy my nieces some very nice gift baskets from Bath and Body Works, and some other little things. Not a whole lot, but what I can afford. I didnt even get a "Thank You", or a "Merry Christmas" from any of them. It is sad but this is getting to be more and more of an "Its all about ME" kind of society.

I was not looking for any gifts back from my nieces, but a nice card or phone call telling me how much they appreciate it (even if they really dont) would have ment the world to me.

I was and am still very hurt by that.


User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 7, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 2533 times:

Quoting JoePatroni707 (Reply 6):
I was and am still very hurt by that.

Well, in that case, you are justified in how you feel. I'd like to thank you for what you did for your nieces on their behalf. I am sure they enjoyed what you got them. I truly hope this helps you feel better, to some extent.

Some people forget what Christmas is all about. It goes way beyond presents and this should be taught in elementary school, IMO. (Sadly, it isn't) Being with Family and celebrating the holiday with them is what Christmas is about, to me. That is all I could ever ask for. Most years I get them (this year, I had to work) and some years I don't. But I cannot be selfish. However, I do send a text to my parents and my sister wishing them a wonderful holiday.

Being with Family is better than receiving gifts, full stop!

Quoting JoePatroni707 (Reply 6):
It is sad but this is getting to be more and more of an "Its all about ME" kind of society.

This needs to change, and that change starts with parents. Christmas is not about getting the iPhone5 or the PSVita. WTF?! I think the school system needs to teach this in the early yeas as well. I think my fiancee will start doing this when she gets her own classroom.



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlinezckls04 From United States of America, joined Dec 2011, 1262 posts, RR: 3
Reply 8, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 2471 times:

We have the opposite problem in my family- if you ask anybody what they want they say "oh, don't get me anything!", and they mean it. They're overjoyed if you give them anything at all. My favorite gifts this year were a pair of stripy socks and a jar of marmalade.

And I do think that the parents' materialistic attitude rubs off on the children- this year, so I hear, my niece (who has just turned seven) told her mother that she was buying her too many presents and that she already had enough stuff! I hope my children have the same attitude....



If you're not sure whether to use a piece of punctuation, it's best not to.
User currently offlineJpax From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 1018 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 2453 times:

Quoting Aaron747 (Thread starter):
This is actually connected to the incident in Connecticut in some way.

As others have said, no. It is not. Are you going to connect this to the gun debate, as well? Is this Bush Jr's fault?


User currently offline3DoorsDown From United States of America, joined Oct 2005, 376 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 2446 times:

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 7):
Christmas is not about getting the iPhone5 or the PSVita. WTF?! I think the school system needs to teach this in the early yeas as well. I think my fiancee will start doing this when she gets her own classroom.

How can they possibly teach this in school when you can't bring up the "real" meaning of Christmas, because it's based on religion, in school?


User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 11, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 2435 times:

Quoting 3DoorsDown (Reply 10):
How can they possibly teach this in school when you can't bring up the "real" meaning of Christmas, because it's based on religion, in school?

It does not have to be about religion. When I was in school, religion was kept out of it for the most part. There is more to Christmas than iPads and that $200 jeans....and kids really need to realize this.

Parents should be the ones, in general, to start teaching their kids about what Christmas is about. Schools just add on more to it.



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlinefr8mech From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 5358 posts, RR: 14
Reply 12, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 2417 times:

Quoting JoePatroni707 (Reply 6):
It is sad but this is getting to be more and more of an "Its all about ME" kind of society.

I was heartened by my son on Christmas Eve. We went to church and the priest asked that all the six year olds come up to the front of the church. He asked, in turn, what Christmas was about, to them. My son was the third asked and he said that it was about the birth of Jesus and spending time with family.

I couldn't have been prouder. Not because he gave "the right answer", but because he actually thought of someone other than himself. That's a tough job for a six year old, especially with the Christmas materialism going on around him.



When seconds count...the police are minutes away.
User currently offlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8021 posts, RR: 26
Reply 13, posted (1 year 7 months 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 2391 times:

Quoting JoePatroni707 (Reply 6):
I was and am still very hurt by that.

You have every right to be. The obvious solution is to get them nothing next year and spend the money on people who will appreciate your effort and thoughtfulness.

Quoting Jpax (Reply 9):
As others have said, no. It is not.

Everything is connected in some way in a society. It doesn't take a leap of logic to see how.



If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 14, posted (1 year 7 months 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 2281 times:

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 13):

Then please tell us how it's connected to the Sandy Hook shooting, please....because it isn't.



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlinetype-rated From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 4951 posts, RR: 19
Reply 15, posted (1 year 7 months 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 2232 times:

I have a niece on that my sister has always given everything to. She prides herself on the fact that "I've never had to tell my daughter no.". Somehow the kid grew up without any trouble but after a few years of sending rather expensive gifts I never received a thank you or anything else. When I brought this up to my sister her response was "I never taught my kids how to do thank you notes or send cards. Nobody does that any more except for old people."

My way of handling this, no more gifts. Period.



Fly North Central Airlines..The route of the Northliners!
User currently offlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8021 posts, RR: 26
Reply 16, posted (1 year 7 months 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 2162 times:

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 14):
Then please tell us how it's connected to the Sandy Hook shooting, please....because it isn't.

I think my grandmother put it best the other day on Skype: "he had years to get his act together and did nothing. Meanwhile his mother throws computers and video games at him, while he spends all day living in the lap of luxury. If this had been our generation in the '40s, he'd have been kicked out and sent to work. No college and refusal to work meant you slung a bag over your shoulder and learned about life the hard way!"

So the connection is just a very extreme case of too much coddling and crap setting of expectations by a materialistic parent.



If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
User currently offlineHoMsaR From United States of America, joined Jan 2010, 1160 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (1 year 7 months 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 2129 times:

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 16):
So the connection is just a very extreme case of too much coddling and crap setting of expectations by a materialistic parent.

I'll admit that I haven't read the full biography of the shooter, but from what I have read, there was nothing about his background other than that he was "different" or an "outcast," neither of which mean anything to me (who was also somewhat quiet, reserved, and "outcast" for much of my school-hood).

Ultimately, I think the mass-shooting type of violence we've seen recently, and unbridled materialism (as noted in the first links of the thread) can trace their roots to the same source. However, I think the connection goes much further back than a simple "wah, I can't get my way, so I'll either a) tweet about it, or b) shoot up a school."



I was raised by a cup of coffee.
User currently offlineAirstud From United States of America, joined Nov 2000, 2638 posts, RR: 3
Reply 18, posted (1 year 7 months 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 2121 times:

Quoting type-rated (Reply 15):
When I brought this up to my sister her response was "I never taught my kids how to do thank you notes or send cards. Nobody does that any more except for old people."

  

Quoting type-rated (Reply 15):
My way of handling this, no more gifts. Period.

Yep, I'd say that's the right way to handle it. I've sent birthday and Christmukkah gifts to my niece and nephew each year they've been alive; they are nine and six. The nine-year-old is DEFINITELY old enough to be sending cards now. I'm surprised my sister hasn't done better by her.



Pancakes are delicious.
User currently offlinePellegrine From United States of America, joined Mar 2007, 2362 posts, RR: 8
Reply 19, posted (1 year 7 months 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 2065 times:

I think it's about perspective.

To kids...they do not yet know how the real world works. In my instance I've looked at two big purchases that I did not make, but really wanted to in the past month or two. A new MacBook w/ retina display which would have been $3500 and a new Audi. I even test drove the car twice, could've bought it cash....but it would have been a waste of money when I have a nice car, albeit a few years old, to drive now. So I said nah, I'll wait. Cause I worked and saved for that money. Children, everything is handed to them, and if the parent is never stern or says no, they'll develop a god complex.

I don't think you can actually blame the child for that.

Also, kids do not understand the value of being with family yet. When you're older and you grow apart, start your own life elsewhere, visit sick relatives in the hospital, go through deaths and funerals...you realize the value of companionship and family. To me now family and simply taking time to get together means more than any money or any gift.

I was kind of spoiled as a child and it is tough to transition sometimes when you get older and mommy and daddy cut you off. But, now I'm a total spoiler and I worry about the effects of that. I love buying things for my partner, my sister, parents, my 3yo nieces, close cousins, my dad's girlfriend and her daughters.... I'm a total spoiler, it makes me happy buying things for people.

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 16):
I think my grandmother put it best the other day on Skype: "he had years to get his act together and did nothing. Meanwhile his mother throws computers and video games at him, while he spends all day living in the lap of luxury. If this had been our generation in the '40s, he'd have been kicked out and sent to work. No college and refusal to work meant you slung a bag over your shoulder and learned about life the hard way!"

So the connection is just a very extreme case of too much coddling and crap setting of expectations by a materialistic parent.

To me you are reaching, and you have also presented two disparate topics. I have covered one. In regards to the school shooter, I do not think you can rationalize so quickly on so little information. No offense intended, and I do enjoy and appreciate many of your posts, but your grandmother sounds like a crotchety old woman of her generation. In the 1940s mental illness was not as well defined at all. Perfectly sane people were still being locked up against their will because of abstract, false, and slanderous commitments. The DSM-I was not yet written for another decade, and it still is not anywhere near perfect as a clinical instrument...by far...60 years later.

What parent, what mother would not coddle a sick child? Even a young adult one, especially a young adult who apparently may be unable to start their own independent path. In fact, if you have the means and do not support a young adult child that is sick, I would say you are a bad parent.

Point is statistically, there are a large number of coddled and spoiled children in developed countries, especially the US. They don't all commit mass murder...by any statistically relevant number. You are reaching in this matter.



oh boy!!!
User currently offlineKen777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 8189 posts, RR: 8
Reply 20, posted (1 year 7 months 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 2021 times:

We are exceptionally fortunate with our grandkids (8 & 11) as they are as far from spoiled as you can get. They are as happy spending the night (or weekend) with us as they are getting gifts. And they are genuinely surprised & appreciative with each gift they receive, even when it's a $3 LEGO figure.

User currently offlineajd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (1 year 7 months 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 1976 times:

Quoting type-rated (Reply 15):
I have a niece on that my sister has always given everything to. She prides herself on the fact that "I've never had to tell my daughter no.". Somehow the kid grew up without any trouble but after a few years of sending rather expensive gifts I never received a thank you or anything else. When I brought this up to my sister her response was "I never taught my kids how to do thank you notes or send cards. Nobody does that any more except for old people."

My way of handling this, no more gifts. Period.

Sorry, but your sister is an awful parent. What a shitty way to raise a kid. It's nothing to be proud of to have never told your kid no. Kids cry when they don't get what they want but tough. Life sucks - deal with it.

Kids these days expect to get a lot - and that's fine, kids want what they can't have. I think we all are are like that, but to GIVE them everything then wonder why they grow up to be a spoiled asshole is ridiculous. Kids don't know the value of money any more which is sad.

My kids will never be like that - they want something, they pay for it themselves. I live like that now and it does me fine.


User currently offlinetype-rated From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 4951 posts, RR: 19
Reply 22, posted (1 year 7 months 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 1927 times:

Quoting ajd1992 (Reply 21):
Sorry, but your sister is an awful parent. What a shitty way to raise a kid. It's nothing to be proud of to have never told your kid no. Kids cry when they don't get what they want but tough. Life sucks - deal with it.

Each year my sister would send out a "list" of suggested gifts for members of her family. Past suggested gifts have been ... a year of paying car payments for her daughter, a 48" HD TV for her bedroom, a TOL HP Laser Printer so she could turn in her school reports in a legible fashion, etc.

I never adhered to her list. I always bought what I thought was appropriate. IMHO, Christmas gifts should not be used to upgrade someone's lifestyle. So if you bought anything "off the list" she'd say "Oh, that wasn't on the list so we donated the item to charity", or "she didn't want what you bought her so we threw it away."

My sister is a real piece of work, I'll tell you that!



Fly North Central Airlines..The route of the Northliners!
User currently offlineajd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (1 year 7 months 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 1910 times:

Quoting type-rated (Reply 22):
Each year my sister would send out a "list" of suggested gifts for members of her family. Past suggested gifts have been ... a year of paying car payments for her daughter, a 48" HD TV for her bedroom, a TOL HP Laser Printer so she could turn in her school reports in a legible fashion, etc.

I never adhered to her list. I always bought what I thought was appropriate. IMHO, Christmas gifts should not be used to upgrade someone's lifestyle. So if you bought anything "off the list" she'd say "Oh, that wasn't on the list so we donated the item to charity", or "she didn't want what you bought her so we threw it away."

My sister is a real piece of work, I'll tell you that!

 Wow!

Seriously? What does a year of car payments run to, a few thousand $$$? A 48" HDTV in the UK is around £1600, so call it $2500. It may be less in the US, but the answer from me would still be no.

Charity I can sort of tolerate, at least it goes to a good cause. Just throwing away an item for not wanting it is incredibly rude - If somebody told me that I'd want the cash for it back, especially if it was expensive.

What's wrong with giving a simple gift and appreciating the thought behind it? I bought a lot of cheap presents this year, not because I am cheap (money is tight but I still managed 1 expensive present and a lot of cheaper ones) and the meaning is worth more to me than how much things cost.

I treated myself (well, I got a gift voucher for the website I buy a lot of cycling gear from) to some new cleated shoes/pedals. Didn't break the bank and that's that. I like expensive things (not in a pretentious way - I like my gadgets and stuff which by nature are generally too expensive to ask for as a present) but I live within my income (i.e. not very much as I'm a student). I don't use Christmas to better my lifestyle; birthdays are (sort of) for that.

[Edited 2012-12-29 13:47:59]

User currently offlinetype-rated From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 4951 posts, RR: 19
Reply 24, posted (1 year 7 months 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1881 times:

And one last item...

As you can tell, my sister is very money hungry and very selfish. Her husband makes a very good living but she always wants more. Our parents told us that the enjoyment of giving is in the giving, not the receiving. We don't know what happened to her along the way.

One year I got her really good and demonstrated evil ways. For Christmas I bought a music CD for her. I opened the CD and put inside a check for $100.00. Then I took the CD back to the record store and had them reseal the CD. Then I sent it to her. A few days later she ranted and raved that I was too cheap so I sent her a CD. I asked her to try listening to it. She said she did and didn't like it because it was not on "the list". So I dropped it. In May of the next year I asked her about the CD if she has listened to it again. She said she had and hated it even more than the first time. I also noticed that the check hadn't been cashed yet either. So I told her what I did and told her that I caught her in a lie as if she had opened the CD she would have seen the check. She let loose a string of profanity that you wouldn't believe.
She asked me to send a replacement check. I told her to open the CD and get the original. Turns out she turned it into a used music store, unopened. This was in 1990 and the check has never cleared the bank.

Having someone like this in your family tends to ruin the holiday spirit.



Fly North Central Airlines..The route of the Northliners!
25 ajd1992 : Ah, now I understand. Just because they have a tonne of money doesn't mean anybody else does, and if they want somebody give them a TV or a car - get
26 type-rated : Thanks, with her nothing is ever good enough for her or her family. She definitely feels that one cannot have enough money. She started acting like t
27 fr8mech : And, every year she woud recieve from me a note that I have donated some sum of money to a charity of my choice, in her name. My kids love those thin
28 mainMAN : I've been hurt by that for years. I buy my niece and nephew top gifts (usually to order), and they never say anything because I'm assuming my brother
29 type-rated : I remember back in the 4th grade we had lessons about how to write a proper thank you note. Our parents always encouraged us to write them too. For me
30 ZKSUJ : It's a new meaning to the word 'practical'. You and your sister seem world's apart in your outlooks on things. Pity her husband, I wouldn't like to i
31 Revelation : IMHO, Xmas gift giving is hugely overdone. I have given my nieces/nephews gifts when they were young, but now they are all out of school and on their
32 type-rated : That's why I am happy that there is a 1200 mile distance between us. I'm a traditional type, she's a "practical" type. It's already happened. He husb
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