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Yet Another Anet Love Dilemma......  
User currently offlineKAUST From United States of America, joined Jun 2009, 107 posts, RR: 25
Posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3526 times:

....sooooooo as advertised, yet another meaningless love stor-ehh to be scrutinized by the ranks o' Anet. 

Here goes nuttin': I have long known a really sweet and nice lady (that is cliche' fodder, right?) and we really get along AMAZINGLY well. She lives here in my town, however is also a US Marine and travels a lot, PLUS she is currently taken. We flirt all the time, and we even have pet names for each other. She has said she would die for me, because she cares so much for me, and she has vastly appreciated the welcomed the mutuality of the emotion. We even Skyped on video chat at midnight on New Years Eve and I introduced her to all of my relatives, which she loved.

And here is where it gets interesting: next month when she gets really interesting: we are going on a road trip next month. Will be starting here in town and then heading to the lake house where I live part time with two uncles , staying overnight, and from there on to a pretty romantic small local town by the name of Fredricksburg.

I am DYING to use the trip to spill my heart and soul to her, but not sure if I or the ettiquite of the doing so.

Your all's thoughts?  


- KAUST


"Houston, this is Apollo 8. We are now in Lunar orbit."
57 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7972 posts, RR: 51
Reply 1, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3517 times:

Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):
Your all's thoughts?  

my thoughts:

Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):
she is currently taken

Stop it. I've been on the other side of this, it's not fun and it's not right.


If that is not enough to get you to stop (it should make any decent person stop) I'll just share a quick story. My wife's best friend started hanging out with a guy whose gf was at Army basic training. She would go on motorcycle rides and it was really suspicious. Everyone she talked to said she was an awful person and needed to stop. She also claimed she wasn't gonna do anything, but if he was single she'd go for him. She eventually kept going and basically alienated all of her friends. Before she stopped talking to me, I told her:

"he's being sketchy and hanging out with you while he's taken, he can do the same for you."

Fast forward, he dumps the gf, and then my friend and him get together. Very low. But the best part was a few months into their new relationship, she spends spring break at his mom's house with him, and he decides he wants to go "see his dad" (at his house.) So he's gone and comes back the next day. Turns out, he was actually at a hotel with his ex! My friend and him break up and he gets back with the ex. Ultimate karma. My friend is really ashamed, and we are on good terms, but now she learned her lesson, though we don't mention it.

Her being with someone else should be a reason enough to stop it, or at the very least, make her break it off with the other poor guy. I hope you never get in the situation you are creating, OP, it is a lousy feeling, and you should be ashamed of yourself



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently offlinevikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 10259 posts, RR: 26
Reply 2, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3505 times:
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Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1):
Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):
Your all's thoughts?

my thoughts:

Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):
she is currently taken

Stop it. I've been on the other side of this, it's not fun and it's not right.

      

Why are you even considering this? If she wants to be with you, she is the one who has to act and not be taken anymore.

I'm also curious how her significant other feels about you two going on a road trip.



How can I be an admiral without my cap??!
User currently offlineTSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 3070 posts, RR: 5
Reply 3, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3496 times:

Let's look at the big picture here- She's currently "taken" by another guy, yet she's "very flirty" with you and is willing to go on a romantic road trip with you. Are you ready to accept the possibility, nay probability, that one day when/if she's "taken" by you she'll be "very flirty" with another guy and will be planning to take a romantic road trip with him? Also consider what you're going to do when the guy by whom she's currently "taken" decides to confront you, possibly in a dark parking lot with a few of his buddies along for backup.

The way I see it, right now you're standing on a railroad track with a fast-moving freight train getting closer and closer every second and you're asking if you should spread your arms and try to embrace the train or just step off the tracks and let it go speeding by.

[Edited 2013-01-12 10:59:11]


Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
User currently offlineKAUST From United States of America, joined Jun 2009, 107 posts, RR: 25
Reply 4, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3476 times:

Actually from what I hear, the trip was HIS idea; along with a story that I recently went on an RV road trip she wishes she could have been on........HOWEVER.......that being said: point taken everyone. Thanks for the advice. I'll be careful.  


"Houston, this is Apollo 8. We are now in Lunar orbit."
User currently offlinexjramper From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 2471 posts, RR: 51
Reply 5, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3467 times:

Just so I get this right, you made all of your relatives pass by one by one by the camera on Skype to introduce them to this girl who can't be your girlfriend?

No. For the love of god, no. Not only will that be an uncomfortable car ride, but that will only make it worse.



Look ma' no hands!
User currently offlineRussianJet From Belgium, joined Jul 2007, 7714 posts, RR: 21
Reply 6, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 3449 times:

Yup. If she's taken then don't do it - it's a rotten thing to do to someone, no ifs or buts.


✈ Every strike of the hammer is a blow against the enemy. ✈
User currently offlinevikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 10259 posts, RR: 26
Reply 7, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 3441 times:
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Quoting KAUST (Reply 4):
Actually from what I hear, the trip was HIS idea

Did she tell you that?



How can I be an admiral without my cap??!
User currently offlineflyingturtle From Switzerland, joined Oct 2011, 2457 posts, RR: 14
Reply 8, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 3395 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1):
My friend and him break up and he gets back with the ex. Ultimate karma. My friend is really ashamed, and we are on good terms, but now she learned her lesson, though we don't mention it.

I really hope that a recent similar story will turn out the same for me.

Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):

Act in such a way that your actions can serve as a universal law for the whole mankind. Think about it, and have a beer with one of Europe's foremost philosophers. Big grin


David

[Edited 2013-01-12 12:25:17]


Keeping calm is terrorism against those who want to live in fear.
User currently offlineTSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 3070 posts, RR: 5
Reply 9, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 3372 times:

Quoting vikkyvik (Reply 7):
Quoting KAUST (Reply 4):
Actually from what I hear, the trip was HIS idea

Did she tell you that?

That was gonna be my question but Vikkyvik beat me to it. Unless you heard him say that live, in person, and with your own two ears, don't believe it.



Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
User currently offlineMadameConcorde From San Marino, joined Feb 2007, 10925 posts, RR: 37
Reply 10, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 3358 times:

Quoting KAUST (Reply 4):
Thanks for the advice. I'll be careful.

You don't want to end up in a ménage à trois....

unless you don't mind

 Wow!



There was a better way to fly it was called Concorde
User currently offlinecharlienorth From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 1133 posts, RR: 5
Reply 11, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 3329 times:

Buy her a snow globe...otherwist don't go on A-net for dating advice

User currently offlineDarksnowynight From United States of America, joined Jan 2012, 1397 posts, RR: 3
Reply 12, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 3305 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1):

Fast forward, he dumps the gf, and then my friend and him get together. Very low.

Why would that be low? She wasn't getting the job done, and she got let go. That's all I see.

Quoting vikkyvik (Reply 2):

      

Why are you even considering this? If she wants to be with you, she is the one who has to act and not be taken anymore.

I think I agree with this. I'm a firm believer that most people who get cheated on have it coming for one reason or another, so I would never pass the kind of judgement some folks seem to enjoy doing here. Having that been said, KAUST, the question really is how much do you want to be involved with all that? If it were me, and I really liked/had to have, etc, her that much, I'd insist that she dump the turkey she's seeing first. Cleaner that way, plus you know you're not just being used as her "emotional cheat"*.

Quoting KAUST (Reply 4):
I'll be careful.  

Good call. Like I said, your best bet is to get her to clear that other wreck off her runway first, so to speak, and then go for landing rights.

If you think you can make that happen before your trip, that's really what you want to have happen.

Quoting flyingturtle (Reply 8):
Think about it, and have a beer with one of Europe's foremost philosophers. 

This is an idea that sounds like it never hurt anyone,  



* What's this, you may ask. I'll tell you if you want (just wanted to keep my reply short is all), but it's bad news. And honestly, kind of what this looks like...



Posting without Knowledge is simply Tolerated Vandalism... We are the Vandals.
User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7972 posts, RR: 51
Reply 13, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 3276 times:

Quoting Darksnowynight (Reply 12):
Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1):

Fast forward, he dumps the gf, and then my friend and him get together. Very low.

Why would that be low? She wasn't getting the job done, and she got let go. That's all I see.

I could go in details if you want. I get where you are coming from but it wasn't like that. She was creeping and the girlfriend was in basic training of all places. Instead of waiting for a break up she crossed the line



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently offlinePHX787 From Japan, joined Mar 2012, 7859 posts, RR: 19
Reply 14, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 3242 times:

Quoting vikkyvik (Reply 2):

This sounds just like my thread with my buddy's ex. Not a good idea.



我思うゆえに我あり。(Jap. 'I think, therefore I am.')
User currently offlinecasinterest From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 4751 posts, RR: 3
Reply 15, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 3218 times:

Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):
PLUS she is currently taken.

I gotta say. Step away.
However, I am curious... where is this other person if you are skyping and flirting?

If it was me , and my girl was flirting, I would be pissed off.



Older than I just was ,and younger than I will soo be.
User currently offlineDarksnowynight From United States of America, joined Jan 2012, 1397 posts, RR: 3
Reply 16, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 3216 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 14):

I could go in details if you want.

I'm sure it isn't necessary. There are surprisingly few variations on this theme.

I am curious though... Why do you think it matters a damn that broad A was in Basic? Joining the military is pretty much asking to get cheated on.

Part of the reason I don't do full-on committed relationships is that it's unreasonable to ask a woman to try and keep up with my schedule. Based on experience, it's slightly more demanding and a bit less predictable than what you find in the military, but the concept holds up the same. Did this not occur to your friends' girl before she volunteered?

I will say, as I did above, that I think it's unwise to involve oneself with an involved party. That isn't for moral reasons (which IMO really just amounts to jealousy with a halo); I just don't like a mess. But there's nothing wrong with getting that party to un-attach itself first.



Posting without Knowledge is simply Tolerated Vandalism... We are the Vandals.
User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7972 posts, RR: 51
Reply 17, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 3172 times:

Quoting Darksnowynight (Reply 18):
I am curious though... Why do you think it matters a damn that broad A was in Basic? Joining the military is pretty much asking to get cheated on.

Hardly makes it right, does it?

Quoting Darksnowynight (Reply 18):
Did this not occur to your friends' girl before she volunteered?

Well we went to a military school so most of us were in the military. Not saying that military couples make long lasting relationships often, but sleezing around isn't right (actually, my wife and I are both military officers and are making it work)

Quoting Darksnowynight (Reply 18):
But there's nothing wrong with getting that party to un-attach itself first.

The way she was going about everything was pretty bad, but yeah, I'd prefer it if she wasn't hitting on a taken guy.

Trust me, I know exactly where you are coming from, and I agree with your argument. But it wasn't like that, it was wrong and she knows that now herself.

Question: do you think OP should be doing what he's doing to a taken woman? I still think this option is kinda sleazy, but it's better: make her break up with the bf or stop pursuing her



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently offlineDarksnowynight From United States of America, joined Jan 2012, 1397 posts, RR: 3
Reply 18, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 3159 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 22):

Question: do you think OP should be doing what he's doing to a taken woman? I still think this option is kinda sleazy, but it's better: make her break up with the bf or stop pursuing her

I don't see anything wrong with it, per se. Like I said, I think it's asking for trouble, and personally, I do not deal with other people's problems.

But, if it's less complicated than all that, then sure, go for it. The OP may not be looking for a long term deal, and in this case, she could be very well suited for it. But, if he has feelings for her, as indicated, it's really better to push that other guy overboard first.

What KAUST needs to figure out is whether this is worth it or not. This broad is obviously his for the taking. The real question is does she like him enough to do this smoothly and cleanly, or will she continue to equivocate with him. If the former, he just needs to encourage her to make the space. If the latter, he needs to decide if he's only worth being a spare boyfriend. Life 'aint always easy that way...

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 22):
Hardly makes it right, does it?

Doesn't make it right (or wrong), just makes it what it is. I personally wouldn't mess with a woman who's attached to gov't property like that, but again, this is not a moral issue. Such women have a nasty tendency to feel all guilty about these endevours, at very inconvenient times (even though, truth be told, they are being somewhat neglected), and I really don't have a lot of patience for that bag.

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 22):
Not saying that military couples make long lasting relationships often, but sleezing around isn't right (actually, my wife and I are both military officers and are making it work)

Hmmm... Married? Your profile says you're a young dude, and you're in the Navy. Alright, well at least you picked the right branch. I'll spare you more of what you've undoubtedly heard about your odds, given your age and profession, and just wish you luck instead. You'll need lots of it.



Posting without Knowledge is simply Tolerated Vandalism... We are the Vandals.
User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7972 posts, RR: 51
Reply 19, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 3171 times:

Quoting Darksnowynight (Reply 23):
Hmmm... Married? Your profile says you're a young dude, and you're in the Navy. Alright, well at least you picked the right branch. I'll spare you more of what you've undoubtedly heard about your odds, given your age and profession, and just wish you luck instead. You'll need lots of it.

Hahaha I know, I've heard a ton about it. I'll add that she is a 12 hour drive away from me too, and will be for at least a year at a minimum   We are pretty content people and we're doing fine. We've been with each other for 4 years next month, but I've seen longer divorce so I guess that doesn't really prove much... well in 20 years I'll PM you and tell you if we're still together, deal?  

About OP, I'm just not a fan of girl stealing. She's either not faithful or just very, very friendly, I'm leaning towards the former. I'm against poaching girls, but you are right... it seems like the girl and her bf aren't meant to be. But OP should not be flirting and adopting pet names while she is still together. I'd still look down on it, but it would be a million times better if he told her to break it off with him or knock it off all together. It just ain't right IMO



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently offlineRussianJet From Belgium, joined Jul 2007, 7714 posts, RR: 21
Reply 20, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3163 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 25):
About OP, I'm just not a fan of girl stealing

As we all should be. It's highly immoral behaviour.



✈ Every strike of the hammer is a blow against the enemy. ✈
User currently offlinemal787 From Australia, joined Jul 2007, 710 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 3109 times:
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Sorry but the original post looked like it was written by an 18yr old Anetter who never had any , not somebody in the 36>45 age bracket


Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):
We flirt all the time, and we even have pet names for each other. She has said she would die for me, because she cares so much for me

So sweet to see that

Wake up you fool, she is

Quoting KAUST (Thread starter):
she is currently taken

Grow up act your age, your brains in the head on your shoulders. Unless she dumps the guy she is with, and not just being a prick tease with a guy who has fallen for it, give up

mal787



BN2 Metro, 402,404, Conquest, king air, 707,727.200, 732,733,734,735,736,738,757,762,763,742,743,744, MD11, DC9,Westwind
User currently offlinevikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 10259 posts, RR: 26
Reply 22, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 3097 times:
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Quoting Darksnowynight (Reply 12):
I'm a firm believer that most people who get cheated on have it coming for one reason or another, so I would never pass the kind of judgement some folks seem to enjoy doing here.

He/she may have it coming, but it doesn't make it right. Break up with him/her first, then you can go sleep with whomever you want. And you won't have to hide it!

I've been cheated on once; maybe she thought I had it coming, but I sure didn't (and still don't). Just don't do it; you're NOT going to help anything.

That's my view, anyway. Along with that, it takes two to cheat, assuming the 3rd party knows what he/she is doing.



How can I be an admiral without my cap??!
User currently offlineandrej From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2001, 1022 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 3025 times:

Have to agree with the rest, if she is taken do not do anything and rather leave. It is not fair to the other person, nor to you as I am sure that you have bigger moral standards than that!

There is a golden rule that I follow: Bros before hoes!

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1):
I've been on the other side of this, it's not fun and it's not right.

   Never cheated, but have been on other side as well. Not fun at all.

I did learn one thing from it though. Long distance relationship are destined to fail.   


User currently offlineLFutia From Netherlands, joined Dec 2002, 3352 posts, RR: 31
Reply 24, posted (1 year 10 months 2 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 2963 times:
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Adam,

You can't do that to someone else. She is taken! Open your eyes. She is playing you like a deck of cards!!! I'm sure she doesn't care about you but cares more about the other person in her life. I don't know what your story with her is and how long you guys have known each other but you are better off finding someone else.

Just giving my 2 cents.

Leo/ORD



Leo/ORD -- Groetjes uit de VS! -- Heeft u laatst nog met KLM gevlogen?
25 AirframeAS : Sorry, KAUST..... But I must ask: what makes you think that she's even into you at all while she's currently taken? Just because you and her hang out
26 AF1624 : KAUST... You are in the friendzone. It is a real thing. There is such a thing as a friendzone. You will share much more than anyone else on the planet
27 3DoorsDown : Your all's? Wow. Agreed stop it. You being a d-bag isn't going to get her. You are just spending your time getting your hopes up while screwing over
28 DocLightning : Stop. Reverse thrust. Abort takeoff. She needs to get her sh!t together. If she wants to be with you, then she dumps him. Until that time, you make n
29 sccutler : Read DocLightning's post immediately above. Succinct, proper advice, well-stated. --- But if you go to Fredericksburg, by all means have a meal at Cro
30 AirframeAS : ....and your friends and her friends, too...... If I may add. This will not end well for you, KAUST. Trust me, it won't if you don't stop pursuing he
31 JoeCanuck : Taking a new beau out for a test drive is pretty low. Either she's with the other guy or she's not...full stop. Before starting a new relationship, de
32 Post contains images andrej : Let's agree to disagree, as in this situation this line applies perfectly. You simply don't 'take over' someone else's significant other. You don't h
33 AirframeAS : No, it doesn't. KAUST is trying to steal somebody else's girl. That's not Bros before H*es, at all.
34 LFutia : Soooo um is there any update or is this thread going to the toilet without an answer? Leo/ORD
35 mikeology : Oh man. I must say its not worth it. This coming from personal experience of being with an engaged woman for the better part of 6 months. In the mome
36 DeltaMD90 : Wait, you were dating a girl who was engaged to someone else? That's pretty despicable...
37 Post contains images AirframeAS : Wait.... Did you know she was engaged before you started dating her or....did you find out after 6 months of dating her. If you knew she was engaged
38 DeltaMD90 : Well creeping on his a.net profile and seeing his FB account, it seems like he wouldn't get his ass kicked lol. But really man, I'm not really a fan
39 AirframeAS : This is why I have a rule that says "If the girl just got out of a relationship within the last 11 months, RUN!!!!" I know that's kinda a pretty high
40 Post contains images varigb707 : Is that Fredericksburg, TX? Because if it is, ya'll are in for a nice treat. I was out there a few years ago, during the summer. Hot and hot. First p
41 mikeology : Not my proudest moment Actually a mutual friend of both of ours introduced and neglected to tell me. Pretty weird I know. I found out about a month i
42 DeltaMD90 : Ah well, I know, lame excuse, but sometimes when you are already into it, it's hard to shake off. I thought you knew from the get go.
43 AirframeAS : Not much a friend, huh? That "Friend" should have told you. That wouldn't be your fault then. But...... Now, this is your fault. Why in gods name wou
44 mikeology : Yeah I was pretty taken back when I found out. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore. As stated by DeltaMD90 I guess when you are in the thick of
45 AirframeAS : Fair enough. I'm glad that you ended it yourself and it did not hurt you nor your reputation in the long run. Good on you, sir!
46 Acheron : Don't. As stated many times before, she will do that to you as easily as she is doing it to the guy she is with now. Plus, love triangles rarely end
47 Post contains images vikkyvik : Well, AirframeAS, we've had our many differences on here, but for once I completely and utterly agree with you. I absolutely despise "bros before hoe
48 Post contains images zippyjet : You only live once but! as others have said proceed with caution. A hottie Marine, that's nice and if you were going to go for it I'd chance it with
49 DeltaMD90 : Um, men chasing women throughout history have often followed their "intuition" and caused lots of death and mayhem. Terrible advice zippy. Use ration
50 Darksnowynight : Well, maybe. But that could happen anywhere. The only run in I ever had with some broad's psycho turned out to be a guy she dumped four years before.
51 RussianJet : Whatever happens - just make sure you don't try and hump her arm.
52 DeltaMD90 : Well yeah, I realize, but he did come and ask for our advice, so it sounds like he wants to hear what we have to say Didn't Troy get attacked over a
53 Post contains images TheCol : Then why is this up for discussion? You know the code... Plus if her BF is also in the armed forces, then sleeping around with her would be the lowes
54 AR385 : Meh. Following my intuition was what as I teenager got me into trouble. Nowadays, I do exactly the opposite of what my intuiton tells me. And the fol
55 Post contains images vikkyvik : Yes. Which is part of the reason I responded to your statements in the first place. I may "have it coming", but it's her decision. And it certainly d
56 CanadianDC10 : DON'T DO IT. This girl clearly has other motives and is a b**** if she were to go behind her current partner's back and do this. This is not someone y
57 Post contains images AirframeAS : As others have said: TERRIBLE, terrible advice. I'm dumbfounded that you would even offer this, Zippy....and disappointed.
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