iFlyLOTs From United States of America, joined Apr 2012, 510 posts, RR: 0 Posted (3 years 1 month 3 weeks ago) and read 2461 times:
It's really hard for me to write this, but I need to get it out because it seems everywhere else no one listens. I think I'm depressed..
I don't really want to get into what has been putting me this way because its the internet and to be honest there is just so much stuff it would be hard to list it all.
I've tried to talk to my parents about this and they usually just tell me I'm being over dramatic or just need to stop being so sensitive. I have two sisters and I've tried to talk to them but my younger sister is too young to understand, and my older sister is really stressed with work and doesn't seem to have time for me as our schedule never really works out for us to be able to talk. The person I used to talk to, my grandma, was just recently hospitalized, and when I visit her she doesn't remember who I am.. At school, I'm a commuter and its hard for me to build the close friendships to talk to people and the few people that I have tried to talk to usually just push me to the wayside. My best friends from high school all live far away and because school is coming to an end they don't seem to have time for me, and my best friend every time I ask for help just tells me that I should call the crisis helpline. I've tried to talk to my youth pastor but he usually doesn't take things very seriously, he likes to joke around. And if I were to ask my parents to see a counselor they would probably say the same thing I listed them as saying at the beginning of this little rant..
Now I'm an aviation student and I don't do drugs and have only had a drink three or four times in my life, I don't smoke, and to be completely honest I don't have any good stress relieving things that I do..
So, that question I have.. Do any of you have a suggestion for me? I'm desperate now and I'm looking for any little thing that could help
PS: Mods if this is against the forum rules in any way please feel free to delete.
DeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 8724 posts, RR: 51
Reply 1, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2456 times:
Well my thoughts initially was to find someone that you can talk to, but it looks like you tried that. I have many good friends and I am only comfortable pouring out certain feelings to certain friends. This site has a lot of good people, I'm a flight student as well, feel free to PM me. Try PMing some people you like on this forum, I've had many good discussions with people on this site
Hard to give you more detailed advice without knowing more detailed information, but I have heard working out and exercising really helps out. Don't study right before bed, get a good 8 hours (really important,) break up your studying, keep up with your good friends. Through my flight training, I've made friends but no friends as good as the few from back home so I text/message them ALL the time. Something that rekindled talking to a good friend of mine more was simply to play an old computer game with him online a bunch.
I'm sure there are better suggestions from others on here. Don't be afraid to seek professional help... I'm not talking about the suicide hotline per se, but don't be afraid to use it. There are many professionals out there that you can just vent to. Counselors, chaplains, etc. There are many out there, so if one doesn't work for you, keep going through them.
Let us know how you're doing, and never be afraid to PM any of us!
af773atmsp From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 2834 posts, RR: 1
Reply 2, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2435 times:
For a long while I have had anxiety (especially social anxiety) and since the winter began I've had depression problems. I tried to ignore it, but now I'm seeing a therapist and I think its been helping a lot. Thankfully my parents didn't mind if I saw a therapist, so I guess the best advice I can give is try to somehow make an appointment with a therapist or someone professional.
jetblueguy22 From United States of America, joined Nov 2007, 3136 posts, RR: 3
Reply 3, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2413 times:
I would consider talking to your parents about a therapist. Don't do it when things are crazy, just sit them down and say "Listen, I'm really stressed out, and I think it would be a good idea to see a therapist." Parents want you to be happy and succeed, if you need help they will get it for you. You're at a point in your life when things start to get stressful. Flight training is really demanding with a ton of ups and downs. You say you don't have a lot of stress relievers, but try a few new things. You'd be surprised at how many things can help to relieve stress. When things get a little crazy (and it's warm) I go out fishing. Just me and a fishing pole. It's awesome. You could also try writing down your frustrations. It sounds silly, but I find when I'm in a ticked off mood I love to just open up word and vent. It makes you think and put it all out there. It clears your head up a little and you can kind of get those feelings out there. Even if it isn't to another person. Don't save them though. I find when I go back and read them I just get even more frustrated.
If you ever need to vent a little shoot me a PM and I'll help as much as I can.
All of the opinions stated above are mine and do not represent Airliners.net or my employer unless otherwise stated.
trav110 From Canada, joined Jun 2005, 551 posts, RR: 2
Reply 4, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2406 times:
First off, I am sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds like you are frustrated with the people in your life who aren't taking this seriously. Is there a way you could go to a therapist without your parents knowing? If that's an option, it's definitely one to pursue - then you will at least have taken the first step towards solving this issue. Have you considered going on antidepressants? I am not familiar with the medical requirements of your flying program or if being diagnosed as depressed or being prescribed antidepressants would affect that. It's really frustrating when other people blow off depression like it's just some petty issue you need to get over and cheer up about, that idea is so far off the mark that it's hardly worth responding to. Just realize that there's nothing wrong with you as a person and that if you are depressed, you have a legitimate medical condition that sometimes takes medication to control. And from one stranger to another, feel free to shoot a PM anytime you want- I have been in your shoes and I know what it's like.
AR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 7517 posts, RR: 42
Reply 5, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2399 times:
GIven the limited information you feel you can only share, my only advice at this stage is that you look for a professional. Try a therapist or a psychiatrist. They can recommend a variety of treatments, involving medication and/or therapy. Or maybe just therapy. Gving advice without knowing the causes for your feelings is not really a good thing.
connies4ever From Canada, joined Feb 2006, 4066 posts, RR: 14
Reply 6, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2380 times:
Being in training can be very stressful and energy draining. Sounds trite but it's not. Seems to me from what you have provided that you are having a difficult time coping with this. Life is a bitch sometimes juggling all the competing demands , but please don't consider the alternative. It is not a productive thought.
Limited knowledge I have in this area would be to:
- siblings apparently are no help so ... cousins ? Someone who is open to talk ? Sounds sexist, I know, but my experience is that female cousins are more likely to talk and/or listen. Recently talked to one about a family abuse situation, which rocked me greatly. Not in a good way.;
- as previously stated, perhaps frankly approaching parents and simply state "Hey, this is where I'm at ..." and go from there. You may be surprised at the support you get, especially from Mom. Not to prejudice anything, but I always found my mother to be more understanding;
- bad day, go to the nearest hospital and ask to see the duty psychiatric nurse (or what they call them in the USA). Almost always female, they will listen and talk to you (did to me, anyway) and this helps. Usually there will be a regular nurse as well. It is 100% confidential, unless you have committed a felony. Frequently a prescription for short term valium will be supplied (5-7 days or so, non-renewable). Not a bad thing, actually, you get to sleep for a whole night. I've had it three times in about eleven years.
- if none of the above is helping, definitely screw up your courage and see a shrink. Social worker for the city/state (if still funded in the USA) a good 2nd choice. It's not a shame. They are 100% discreet per above. Don't worry about the cost, your life is more important.
Food for thought anyway. Stay in touch and IM when you need to.
scrubbsywg From Canada, joined Mar 2007, 1496 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2376 times:
I'm going to be blunt: you're an adult(in college, no less). Fortunately for you, your parents can't control what medical treatment you receive. Professional therapists, counselors, etc. can really help people, often without medication. You've got to look out for number one(yourself).
Your school, like every one I have seen, likely has an office of some sort with counselors that help students out when they are in situations like what you are in. Seek them out. You are not the only student that feels this way at your college.
Mir From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 22871 posts, RR: 53
Reply 8, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2369 times:
Quoting iFlyLOTs (Thread starter): to be completely honest I don't have any good stress relieving things that I do..
Have you tried exercise? It can be tough initially to get yourself into a routine, but once you do you'll likely find that it makes you feel better (endorphins and all that stuff). Go with a friend if you want, or go alone if you feel better doing it that way. It doesn't necessarily have to be strenuous exercise, just something to get your blood moving. Typically when people get depressed they don't want to do anything, but that's actually very counterproductive.
Along those lines, the one thing I would definitely NOT do is try and keep your feelings to yourself or seclude yourself away from others. Maybe there are some clubs at school you could join, or you could try to widen your circle of friends a bit. You may not know anyone at the moment who will be a good sounding board for you, but that in no way means they're not out there, and they're probably a lot closer than you think.
They're closer than you think because what you're feeling isn't uncommon. Many people might not call it 'depression', but I'd venture to guess that pretty much everyone feels what you're feeling at some point in their college life. So you are definitely not alone in this, and as much as it might seem like it won't, it will eventually pass.
Finally, I hate that I have to say this, but: while a lot of people who've posted before me suggested seeing a therapist, be VERY careful about doing that if you're an aviation student. Not because they're not helpful (quite the reverse, in fact), but because the FAA is still stuck in the stone age when it comes to their outlook on mental health, and any diagnosis of depression, even a mild variety, can affect your ability to get a medical certificate (I speak from experience here). That's not to say that you can't do it - there are technicalities you can skirt around, but you need to go about things the right way. PM me for more information if you want, but I'd really recommend finding someone at your school who knows about aviation medicine (who isn't your AME) and getting their advice on how to proceed. It's ridiculous, and it sucks, but that's the business that we're in, and we have little choice but to play by the rules.
Best of luck!
7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
flymia From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 7607 posts, RR: 7
Reply 9, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2367 times:
For stress and any anxeity the best things I do are excercise and try to sleep well. Try to have a hour or so of good excercise a day. Run, weights, swim, walk, play basketball something. Also I am sure your college has counslors you can talk to. Also as others have said you are an adult. I imagine you have your parents or your own health insurance. Find a therapist who takes it and go visit one if you feel the need. It certainly won't hurt.
Hope everything turns out better for you.
"It was just four of us on the flight deck, trying to do our job" (Captain Al Haynes)
aloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 9428 posts, RR: 39
Reply 10, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 2340 times:
There's already been some good advice given, so I'll limit myself to this: Does your mood improve during summer and deteriorate during winter?
I for one cope rather poorly with the lack of sunlight during winter, but fortunately my side job sent me on several trips to sunny areas during the past (particularly dark) winter. As a result I got through it much better than I used to. It may sound mundane, maybe even ridiculous, but that's exactly why one might fail to consider it. So don't lock yourself up indoors, but realise that you're worth every little bit of effort that it takes to get out there and in the sun - it may just help a little bit.
Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
DocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 23789 posts, RR: 60
Reply 12, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 2307 times:
Quoting iFlyLOTs (Thread starter): So, that question I have.. Do any of you have a suggestion for me? I'm desperate now and I'm looking for any little thing that could help
Yes. I am a pediatrician with a subspecialization in adolescent medicine and I manage depression in teens and young adults on a regular basis in my practice. If you were my patient, I would recommend the following:
Start with fluoxetine ("PROZAC") 10mg daily. After two weeks increase to 20mg and then reassess at 2mo. If well-tolerated and effective, then continue. If well-tolerated but insufficient efficacy, consider increasing to 30 or 40mg daily. If poorly-tolerated or ineffective, try citalopram ("CELEXA") in a similar manner.
However, you are not my patient and you do not have access to the above without a physician's prescription. So perhaps you ought to find a physician who knows about depression in teens and young adults and tell him exactly what you told us. If he knows what he's doing, he'll recommend something similar to what I recommend above.
ATCtower From United States of America, joined Dec 2007, 603 posts, RR: 3
Reply 13, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 2275 times:
Im certainly no professional and cant give advice like that but I can sure tell you that you obviously have people who care about you.
Even if your hobby is Anet, you have 11 (12 including me) people who readily listen and would be an ear in a couple hours and thats no small feat!!
Some of the advice above is good and I can say as someone with many 'acquaintances' though only a couple good friends, sometimes talking to strangers as you are here can be a great 'medicine'. We dont know you, no one here would judge you (well some might if you post about politics haha), and all will listen and give advice.
Being an aviation student (what are you in school for?) is awesome and for so many of us, Aviation has completely encompassed our lives. I for one have met a lot of really great people here who I would probably go to before a judgmental friend who has known me my whole life for an objective opinion...
Like I said, I dont have the answer to your question but will tell you that the best thing you could have asked for is finding your way in aviation, I for one feel I have my wings because of it.
By reading the above post you waive all rights to be offended. If you do not like what you read, forget it.
777way From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 2274 times:
Anti-depressants definitely will help you, but also resolve whatever issues you have while on them, don't let it be that the meds make you feel good enough to continue coping or sweeping it under the rug and not fixing yourself.
QFFlyer From Australia, joined Jun 2005, 384 posts, RR: 0
Reply 15, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 2246 times:
Quoting iFlyLOTs (Thread starter): It's really hard for me to write this, but I need to get it out because it seems everywhere else no one listens. I think I'm depressed..
I found myself in the same position about 18 months ago...and I ended up doing the same - diagnosing myself....then I went to my local GP who then officially diagnosed me with serious depression & moderate to high anxiety...
Once I had a path forward, and realised what I was going through was "not normal", things became much easier. I am still on anti-depressants, and found after 6 months I had to increase to dosage slightly - but the difference is incredible.
I did go and see a therapist, but for me I didn't find it all that useful.
Don't forget that depression manifests itself with physical attributes as well, such as exhaustion/tiredness.....I found that I wanted to sleep more than I did "before". I did a lot of research and found depression symptoms matched a lot of what I was experiencing - hence reason for going to the doctor.
Like with everyone else who has responded, you have an ear here.....
us330 From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 4165 posts, RR: 13
Reply 16, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 2184 times:
Quoting iFlyLOTs (Thread starter): I don't smoke, and to be completely honest I don't have any good stress relieving things that I do..
So, that question I have.. Do any of you have a suggestion for me? I'm desperate now and I'm looking for any little thing that could help
I will echo everyone else on this board that has recommended exercise--and it doesn't have to be strenuous either. It can be something as simple as a long walk.
Write all your feelings down as well. That can help you start to analyze the particular issues that are bothering you.
Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1): Don't be afraid to seek professional help... I'm not talking about the suicide hotline per se, but don't be afraid to use it. There are many professionals out there that you can just vent to. Counselors, chaplains, etc. There are many out there, so if one doesn't work for you, keep going through them.
I will echo this as well. You should also know that how you feel is not uncommon, and lots of people have gone through similar circumstances, so there is no need to feel ashamed or think that something is wrong with you. These things happen, and it is important to learn coping mechanisms now so that you are prepared in the future.
globalflyer From United States of America, joined Dec 2005, 1048 posts, RR: 3
Reply 17, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2138 times:
Hi Kyle... I am sorry to hear that you have no one close to talk to as others have mentioned feel free to PM us if you need to chat. I am sure everyone has gone though some bout with depression, absolutely myself included. It can be one of many things that are being suppressed that may be affecting this, family issues, sexuality questions, college/career uncertainties, etc. I will not go into any specifics but it is true that you need to find someone to talk to. Try your school's counseling department. A true and licensed psychologist will NOT be judgemental and will listen. Just do one thing and be honest to yourself and your feelings. Exercise releases the good endorphins and this really will help. Also natural supplements like a St Johns Wort will help and of course a good nights sleep on a regular basis! Try to avoid the anti-depressants at the start. I am not saying that they may not be needed eventually but try talking, exercising, sleeping and a good balanced diet first. You are not being "over-sensitive" and if it is depression, you cannot just "get over it"! PM if you want to talk. I wish you luck! Cheers, Will
Landing on every Continent almost on an annual basis!
casinterest From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 5828 posts, RR: 3
Reply 18, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 2123 times:
I know you have asked your parents for assistance, but most big schools have counselers that will speak to you . I highly advise going this route. You need to get to the root of what is ailing you. Anti - Depressents and excercise and just staying busy will improve a lot of moods. However until you know why you are feeling depressed and work directly on those triggers,everything else is just a stop gap. I know from your post that you don't want to post it here. I applaud thatm,but please discuss it with a therapist. They have a lot of experience with cases that may not be far out from your triggers.
Older than I just was ,and younger than I will soo be.
If you are a student, I think Most colleges offer discounted and or free ways to seek out counseling through the college health office.
Other ideas have already benn offered, but what about exercising... That is an outstandigway to reduce stress... Swim bike run lift weights.
Another thought how good is your diet? Are you eating healthfully? Although in my college day I didn't Exactly stick to the rda guidelines
Enough sleep? Rough schedule?
How about perhaps trying to get involved in more stuff, ( I dont know how active you are in your community or college campus, but I always find interacting with others to be a positive experience. Wat about club sports, clubs, intramurals. Study groups.?
klm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2642 posts, RR: 3
Reply 20, posted (3 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 2070 times:
I just wanted to say that I can also relate. I suffered with anxiety and depression for several, several years until I basically woke up one day and said "hmm... I don't think this is normal." I was stressing out at work, and went to a therapists, but he was no help. With the internet age, I was able to self dianose myself and all suggestions he put fourthe I responded with "yeah, tried that". Stopped wasting my money and went to my PCP and got on a 10mg dose of the generic dose of Paxil. It worked very well and I've been on it for years. I recently joined a gym, started going to 5ks and became more socal. I use to laugh at my friends that would say "I have to check my calendar" when attempting to do lunch with them, but now I have to do the same thing!
I recommend my path. At least try to speak to someone- a friend, family memember. If not go to a trained professonal. Then if that's not working, go on the pill. It helps, but you also have to do the work and don't let me become a band-aid!