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I Moved About A Year Ago And Now I Regret It. Long  
User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 4577 times:

After being in town for about a year, I moved away for college. While in Cleveland, I met two friends (a husband and wife around my age). They missed me so much and wanted me to move back to Cleveland. I said "F-that" because the year I stayed in CLE. J said that she felt that her side of town would be a better fit for me (East Side). I was able to get some time off and able to tour around the "Nice" part of Cleveland. Along with that she was able to hook me up with a great employer.

Since I've been here in Cleveland, its been basically the opposite of everything J has said...
The "basket full of friends" as I like to say, non-existent. I've met maybe..maybe a handful of her friends. She spoke of this "big social network of friends" that were so excited to meet me and that she could introduce me to. Now that I am here, she doesn't speak to many of those friends. Those friends are busy with their own lives etc.
All these big plans she had for me? Mini-trips? Things to see? Never happens. She wanted to take me to FL, on a cruise, Columbus, Cinci, Toronot etc etc. The only place we've managed to go was an overnight to PIT. Even with that, I did not have fun. Everything was planned to a "T", with a certain time frame, and we had to hurry, hurry, hurry to make the next thing on her to-do list and nothing could be enjoyed. Right now they are in Disneyland and I get texts saying "I wish you were here" and "you'd enjoy this", but clearly I am here, they are there. This is the second or third trip where they up and go and I am here in Cleveland and I get the same old texts of "we wish you were here" and "we need to bring you here".

Both J and G treat me more like a child than a friend. They try to push their ideas onto me. "I suggest you do this" "I highly recommend you do that" is often said. When I don't do what they want, I'll get a "Dude! I told you to do........" J has tried to replace my family/parents with hers. I don't feel comfy calling them "mom and dad", they are not. She had this idea that we should all join the gym and designed a schedule for the gym that would all meet our needs. She felt it would be best if we'd all meet daily at 7AM. I tried it for a few days and then told her that I can't get up that early. She seemed to not take into account that I get out of work at 11PM, and usually go to bed around 1AM. I told her that she could join me at a time that would work best for me, say midnight. She said "I'll be in bed!" I said "now you know how I feel {with 7AM}"

I get the impression its ok (in their eyes) for J and G to do something, but not me. With the early start times of the gym, I tended to be late by 10-15 minutes. She would point to her watch and say "dude! You're late!!!".One day they were late, but clearly it was fine because she texted stating they were running late. When they got there, they had to nerve to comment on my shorts. Both of them looked at me and pointed at my shorts stating "those aren't gym shorts!!" Even when they are in the "wrong" for being late, it needs to be turned around on me for "wearing the wrong shorts" (as if an employee were to come tap on my shoulder and shout "you need to leave!").


She discourages me from going back to Vermont for visit. She wants to take me to FL in Oct and when I said I bought a flight and got time off for my birthday, she said "I hope you didn't blow all your PTO on VT, you need to save about 60 hours for Oct".

Speaking of my currently employer; its not what I expected it to be. I am so burnt out. I am in a call center (I guess I could stop there). Between the non-stop calls, to the false advertising, to my slacking colleagues ("sitting" in after call work, while calls are holding to chat or browse Facebook), while I take calls after calls to clear the holding calls.

Paid time off seems very hard to get off. Luckily, its getting better but I requested PTO for the end of April months in advance so I could join my cousins from Vermont to go to Dallas. Of course, the request went into a black hole they seem to have around here and I never heard back. Time went on and air fare went up. Clearly, I stayed in Cleveland while my friends had fun in Dallas and I had to explain "well its very hard to get time off". When my grandfather passed away a few months ago, I had to fight for the time off to go to the funeral. I had my 3 days of Breivement, but with the way my schedule is, I wanted to use 1 more day of PTO, so It would afford me a whole week off. It was out of state, so I had to factor in traveling. My PTO got declined, and declined, until I brought it up the chain, it then got approved. I don't want to think about what would happen if/when a family member overseas were to pass away. I took the job at the call center as a one year thing. I was told by my friends (who also work at this company that after a year I could a transfer and get another job within the company).
Well, now I am hearing from higher-ups that..opps...it looks like the average time to get out of the call center is 2-3 years after the 1 year time frame. Hmm that's too bad. I am not sure if I can do a whole 'nother year.

With all that, I feel I have a few options ahead of me.
Stay in Cleveland but move towards the other side of town, away from G and J. Give myself and them space. I have just now found my balls (they were in J's purse), and start standing up to them. Started telling them that I'll do my own thing and basically its my life.
Stay in Cleveland, look for a better job and get out of this hospital.

Move to Dallas. After all, it was my dream and I fell in love with it all those years ago. I have recently gotten into contact with my old manager, who has connections into Dallas. I would have to start from scratch. I can live with my uncle (spare room) until I get settled. I feel that, Dallas and Cleveland compare about the same when it comes to Cost of Living. I would leave a few friends here, for the great "unknown". As much as I complained above, I am settled, I guess the thought of up and moving is a little scary.
.

[Edited 2013-05-12 16:55:04]

52 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlinejohns624 From United States of America, joined Jul 2008, 957 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 4518 times:

Have you made any friends on your own? After one year, you should have several. At your age, you shouldn't have to have others plan for you or entertain you. Get your own life.

User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7980 posts, RR: 51
Reply 2, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 4505 times:

I'd do the option that guarantees you the best job. Your job now sounds pretty miserable, but it might be better than what you can get in Dallas, if anything at all.

As far as your friends, it sounds like a classic example of hanging out with them too much. I recently got in a fight with my roommate just because I live, eat, hang out, study, and work (we are work partners) with him so I saw him ALL the time. You can put up with people and their crap just fine if you only see it once in a while, but when you see them all the time, it really starts to piss you off.

Just give yourself a break from them, and when you do hang out with them, make it less frequent. Maybe be a bit more authoritative with them but beware, you might come across as hostile and might make them mad. Best thing to do is to talk to them before you hit your boiling point and get really mad, defuse it early.

Might have been better with your parents, but you gotta make a break sometime. It'll get better down the road, just keep truckin



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 3, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 4460 times:

Thanks. Yes, I have made friends on my own, but not through venues that I particalarlly like (eg online dating), but, point being I have made friends that way. I just discovered the meetup.com website a little while ago so I will be doing that as well, too.

Thanks for the suggestions.


User currently offlinetype-rated From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 4317 times:

My sister is just like your friend. They make you feel like you are so important but they are actually keeping you in their own little prison. Selfish & nasty SOB's. I'll tell you there is a reason your friend's buddies are always "busy with their own lives." Sounds like your friend is either bi-polar or just a control freak.

Do you really want to live in Dallas or somewhere else? Cost of living in Dallas is actually much lower than in the rust belt. Are you thinking about Dallas only because it would be an easy place to resettle? Where do you REALLY want to live? Take a week or so to figure that out and then start acting on it. The moment you do, the better off you will feel. Step by step, inch by inch as they say.

Sorry to be so direct and blunt but at your age you really need to get this sorted now. And don't worry about "i don't want to lose any friends over this". Over time friends change and evolve. Some are capable of coming along for the ride, some aren't. Back where I come from I can go into one of the local bars and look on the bar stools and see the same people sitting there that were sitting there 35 years ago. It's like some people evolve to a certain point and then they get stuck and stay that way forever. Those are the ones that will hold you back. And don't worry, new friends will replace the old over time. It's a constantly moving process.


User currently offlinecomorin From United States of America, joined May 2005, 4903 posts, RR: 16
Reply 5, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 4282 times:

Quoting johns624 (Reply 1):
Have you made any friends on your own? After one year, you should have several. At your age, you shouldn't have to have others plan for you or entertain you. Get your own life.

Just the advice he was looking for, I'm sure. (slap)(slap)

Quoting klm672 (Thread starter):

I went to CWRU and had a great time but when I started working it was a really dull place to be. Not to mention the miserable weather. Did I mention the miserable weather? I did live East in Shaker Heights and on Coventry, both wonderful places.

My advice to you is to get out of Cleveland, and move to a dynamic, fast-growing city. I quit my job, threw my worldly belongings into the trunk of my car and drove off to NYC. Best thing I ever did.


User currently offlinebongodog1964 From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2006, 3693 posts, RR: 4
Reply 6, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 4202 times:

Is it any wonder that this has turned to crap ?

You have been befriended by a married female control freak, didn't you ever hear the saying "three's a crowd"

Can't you head back to Vermont and the support of your own family whilst you get this mess sorted ? I can understand moving to pastures new in order to secure a good job, but a call centre ? what were you thinking.

Your place of work is a hell hole run by despots, you are just an extension of the keyboard and phone to them.

As to Cleveland, the friendship is worth nothing, nor is the job, and its obviously making you desperately unhappy. Depart as soon as you can, and break off contact with the control freak, she'll soon find another victim.

Think positively, its only a year of your life you've wasted, decisive action now will keep it that way. Do not dither get the hell out now.


User currently offlineRevelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 12970 posts, RR: 25
Reply 7, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 4126 times:

Quoting type-rated (Reply 4):
It's like some people evolve to a certain point and then they get stuck and stay that way forever. Those are the ones that will hold you back.

Them and the related species, the ones that are stuck but won't admit it. They'll drag you down just as sure as the ones who freely admit they are stuck.



Inspiration, move me brightly!
User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 8, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 4033 times:

Thanks for all the responses. I left out a few important details, as at first it was turning into a longer novel than it is!

Why Dallas:
I was an FA here in CLE for a year, 5 years ago and had the opportunity to visit Dallas and fell in love with it. I chose Cleveland over Dallas because my uncle, whom lives in Dallas was cold to the idea of me moving ("let me know when you get here") while my "friends" in CLE were very helpful, or so I thought. Based on what I know now, I see that my uncle was letting me be an adult, figuring things out on my own, while my friends were building my prison. I would take Dallas over Cleveland.

Moving back to Vermont:

I would, but cost of living is very, very high there. My parents live in a very rural part of Vermont, and I would have to commute to Burlington for a job. Living in Burlington is very high.

Why the Call Center:

So, I went into the call center because I was told (by my friends of course) that I could "do my time" of one year then get the hell outta there. Now it seems the call center is the black sheep of the company and it takes "an additional one to two years" to get out of there. I know I can't last that much longer.


User currently offlinebongodog1964 From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2006, 3693 posts, RR: 4
Reply 9, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 4021 times:

Quoting klm672 (Reply 8):

Moving back to Vermont:

I would, but cost of living is very, very high there. My parents live in a very rural part of Vermont, and I would have to commute to Burlington for a job. Living in Burlington is very high.

A mitigating factor however is that places with a high cost of living, tend to have low unemployment, and good rates of pay. Head for a low cost of living and run the risk of working for a despot in a call centre, who uses the principle that there's plenty more victims out there desperate for a job if you don't want it.


User currently offlinestlgph From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 9518 posts, RR: 26
Reply 10, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 4013 times:

Sounds like the problem is the company you keep. Having a friendship based on an agenda does not work. I've spent time in Cleveland and had a blast. In NYC I've made a few great friends from Cleveland who now live here. They're chill, they're hip.

I work in news, I spent some time living in places that sound like "wow, that had to suck." Rapid City, Lincoln, Des Moines, etc. -- honestly, all those places were completely awesome because of the company I made and kept. I had it made in Des Moines -- only reason I left was due to career aspirations of doing something bigger and better.

Making good friends either happens in a heartbeat or takes time.



if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
User currently offlinecorinthians From United States of America, joined May 2008, 374 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 4010 times:

How old are you? The age range is too broad.

First off, never, ever move somewhere for friends, especially female “friends”. And even more so if they are married! Girls are so unreliable at best and this girl already has a man in her life and he will be her priority. Not you; you’re nothing to her. No offence, but that’s just how it is. Call me old school, but unless a guy is gay, I don’t think men and women can ever be “just friends”.

And I would leave Cleveland. I think Dallas would be a good place for you to resettle and start your life over. It’s doing a lot better economically than Cleveland is and you will have better career prospects. Probably can meet more women in Dallas anyways.

The opposite actually happened to me a little over a year and a half ago. I live in NYC, but turned down an offer to go to LA. I went through a really bad breakup with my ex-girlfriend about two years ago and it left me really depressed and in a bad state. I wanted to leave NY and just start fresh somewhere else and I really like LA. I ended up changing my mind the last minute and totally regret it now. I don’t hate NY, but I thought a change in pace and scenery would be good for me. Who knows if it was a good decision to stay, but things haven’t improved that much for me here since I turned down the offer. Although I genuinely think I have saved money by staying here considering rent in LA isn’t much different than NY (excluding Manhattan, of course) and I don’t need a car. Not to mention, my career prospects are a lot better here.


User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 12, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 3976 times:

Thanks again for all the thoughtful responses. Yes, I guess looking at it now, Cleveland was the "obvious choice"-- things to do, friends, new friends, but clearly its not the opposite!

In regards to moving to a call center job: I moved because of the company under the expectation that I could do my year and transfer internally out of the call center and into a better positiion with the company. I see that's not the case, though.

[Edited 2013-05-13 09:54:17]

User currently offlinedaviation From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3940 times:

KLM - you're young, so you still have plenty of time to sort all of this out. From your post it seems like your main complaint is your friends. I am quite a bit older than you, but friends can always get under your skin. When I got divorced, it amazed me that many friends didn't want a third wheel around. When you are part of a couple, everything is great; when you become single again, they don't know what to do with you.

I know a local couple that I've been friends with over the last decade. The husband is a nice guy, a little self-centered, but the wife lost no opportunity to mock me - and I was a top executive at a major corporation! Well, the husband lost his driver's license on a drunk charge, and now that I've retired he's been relying on me to help him out with car rides. You should see the change in their attitude!!! Now, there's nothing they can't do for me. It's very funny because as soon as his license is reinstated, they will drop me like a hot potato! It doesn't matter how old you are.

My opinion is to remain in Cleveland (it doesn't sound like Dallas holds any great opportunities), find a wider circle of friends, give your current friends some space, and keep your eyes open for some better work opportunities.


User currently offlinetype-rated From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3926 times:

No matter what you decide to do about your situation start working on the solution you come up with. You'll feel better and positive change will come sooner. This is something that you don't want to sit around procrastinating over.

User currently offlineflanker From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 1661 posts, RR: 2
Reply 15, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 3921 times:

Go to Dallas and follow your dream. Run far away from these manipulating SOBs.


Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an unlicensed pharmacist
User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 16, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 3903 times:

I am looking into a solution. I've split my applications to here in Cleveland and then in Dallas.

Quoting corinthians (Reply 11):
How old are you? The age range is too broad.

26

Quoting flanker (Reply 15):
Go to Dallas and follow your dream. Run far away from these manipulating SOBs.

haha yeah!

Quoting daviation (Reply 13):
KLM - you're young, so you still have plenty of time to sort all of this out. From your post it seems like your main complaint is your friends. I am quite a bit older than you, but friends can always get under your skin. When I got divorced, it amazed me that many friends didn't want a third wheel around. When you are part of a couple, everything is great; when you become single again, they don't know what to do with you.

I know a local couple that I've been friends with over the last decade. The husband is a nice guy, a little self-centered, but the wife lost no opportunity to mock me - and I was a top executive at a major corporation! Well, the husband lost his driver's license on a drunk charge, and now that I've retired he's been relying on me to help him out with car rides. You should see the change in their attitude!!! Now, there's nothing they can't do for me. It's very funny because as soon as his license is reinstated, they will drop me like a hot potato! It doesn't matter how old you are.

Thanks for sharing your story!


User currently offlineWingsFan From India, joined Oct 2009, 133 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 3900 times:

The problem here is not really Cleveland, or even your job. Its the willingness of you in letting someone else control your decisions. If YOU don't change, you will find yourself in same misery with different people doing same thing in different city.

WingsFan


User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7980 posts, RR: 51
Reply 18, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 3817 times:

Quoting klm672 (Reply 8):
So, I went into the call center because I was told (by my friends of course) that I could "do my time" of one year then get the hell outta there. Now it seems the call center is the black sheep of the company and it takes "an additional one to two years" to get out of there. I know I can't last that much longer.

This keeps confusing me, it sounds like you are stuck at that job against your will or something. "Do your time?" Is it prison?



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 19, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 3810 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 18):
Quoting klm672 (Reply 8):
So, I went into the call center because I was told (by my friends of course) that I could "do my time" of one year then get the hell outta there. Now it seems the call center is the black sheep of the company and it takes "an additional one to two years" to get out of there. I know I can't last that much longer.


This keeps confusing me, it sounds like you are stuck at that job against your will or something. "Do your time?" Is it prison?

It feels like prison, but after 1 year I will be able to apply to other jobs internally within the company.


User currently offlineDeltaMD90 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 7980 posts, RR: 51
Reply 20, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 3796 times:

Quoting klm672 (Reply 19):
It feels like prison, but after 1 year I will be able to apply to other jobs internally within the company.

Ah, gotcha. Focus on your career is my advice. IDK what your company is like, so I can't really tell ya, but if you go somewhere else, you are starting from the bottom again (though the bottom of somewhere else may be higher than the next few steps of where you're at now, if that makes sense.)

Get out of minimum wage, gain skill and experience. That way you'll suffer now and be rewarded later, instead of just moving around suffering everywhere else you go. JMO



Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
User currently onlinesccutler From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 5617 posts, RR: 28
Reply 21, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 3740 times:

Desperate shortage of reliable workers in Dallas. If you like it here, give it a shot.

Trying new things is what youth is all about; a year from now, God willing, you'll be a year older; what you do in that time is up to you.



...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...
User currently offline3DoorsDown From United States of America, joined Oct 2005, 376 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 3735 times:

Wow. Reading some of the stories from people on this forum I am amazed some can wipe their lower orifice without asking permission to do so.
Get out of Cleveland and lose the married couple. That's just weird unless you are looking for a new mommy + daddy fixation.


User currently offlineAviRaider From United States of America, joined Nov 2007, 185 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 3641 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 2):
I'd do the option that guarantees you the best job. Your job now sounds pretty miserable, but it might be better than what you can get in Dallas, if anything at all.

The Dallas metro area has 6 million people and countless corporation headquarters, I think he would have a much greater chance of landing his right job here in Dallas than Cleveland.

Quoting klm672 (Reply 8):
Why Dallas:
I was an FA here in CLE for a year, 5 years ago and had the opportunity to visit Dallas and fell in love with it. I chose Cleveland over Dallas because my uncle, whom lives in Dallas was cold to the idea of me moving ("let me know when you get here") while my "friends" in CLE were very helpful, or so I thought. Based on what I know now, I see that my uncle was letting me be an adult, figuring things out on my own, while my friends were building my prison. I would take Dallas over Cleveland.

I hope you do land here in "Big D" or somewhere close. Dallas sometimes gets a bad rap but the DFW area is so massive; you can be as rich as you want to be or as poor as you want to be. As far as your friend situation, don't be co-dependent, you decide what's best for you. If they are trully your friends they'll get over it. I'm married and my wife and I have several good married friends but they always say they want to do more stuff together but ultimately it never seems to work out that way. You honestly have to evaluate your friends because I've often found that I was the one always bending over backwards to meet with friends to help them out, but if I needed some help many would just wiggle out of it. Us human beings can be selfish, so use that to your advantage, say no at times and be honest to them.


User currently offlinetype-rated From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (1 year 7 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 3515 times:

Quoting AviRaider (Reply 23):
You honestly have to evaluate your friends because I've often found that I was the one always bending over backwards to meet with friends to help them out, but if I needed some help many would just wiggle out of it.

Very true and these kind of people are a dime a dozen.

I have a neighbor across the street named Kathy. When I first moved in and met her the very first thing she said to me was "Hi, my name is Kathy and what can YOU do for ME today?". And she really is like that.


User currently offlineaa757first From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 3350 posts, RR: 7
Reply 25, posted (1 year 7 months 1 week 5 days ago) and read 3377 times:

1. Do you have more of a social network in Dallas? If not, you may find yourself in a similar situation.
2. If you do transfer out of the call center, will it be to a good job? (Are you working for a health system in the patient access center, out of curiosity?)
3. Will you have a job lined up in Dallas?


User currently offlineDFWHeavy From United States of America, joined Jul 2011, 560 posts, RR: 0
Reply 26, posted (1 year 7 months 1 week 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 3371 times:

Well i will be in the posters social network. You've got one friend in Dallas tat will welcome you.


Christopher W Slovacek
User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 27, posted (1 year 7 months 1 week 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 3374 times:

Quoting aa757first (Reply 25):

1. Do you have more of a social network in Dallas? If not, you may find yourself in a similar situation.
2. If you do transfer out of the call center, will it be to a good job? (Are you working for a health system in the patient access center, out of curiosity?)
3. Will you have a job lined up in Dallas?

1. Yes and no. I have my uncle and his girlfriend. As I mentioned, he is only 6 years older than I (ironically, around the age of my friends here). I have met his buddies and his social network, but I don't want to tread on his terrain. Ideally, I would meet people through work, although it hasn't really happened that way here in CLE.

2. If I transfer out of the call center, in theory it would be to a good job. I would like, and hope the grass would be greener on the other side. Right now I am looking at entry level IT jobs. I have one connection in the IT department that would "see what he would do". Yes, I guess you could call it the patient access center. Basically, its a non-medical job in a large call center that is central scheduling. If a patient has a medical question, we have to have them speak to a nurse even if its common sense like "my arm fell off, should I go to the ER?" Its a very easy job and I miss a challenge.

3. Yes, I would have a job lined up in Dallas. No idea what that job would be, and it would clearly have to be an upgrade to what I'm doing now, but I would have a job lined up before I move down.

Quoting DFWHeavy (Reply 26):
Well i will be in the posters social network. You've got one friend in Dallas tat will welcome you.

That means a lot to me! Please check your PM and I look forward to talking to you more!


User currently offlineEA CO AS From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 13767 posts, RR: 61
Reply 28, posted (1 year 7 months 1 week 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 3325 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting klm672 (Thread starter):
I am in a call center (I guess I could stop there). Between the non-stop calls, to the false advertising, to my slacking colleagues ("sitting" in after call work, while calls are holding to chat or browse Facebook), while I take calls after calls to clear the holding calls.

Non-stop calls? In a call center? How horrifying!   

No offense, but didn't you get that was part of the gig when you signed on?

Regarding co-workers on call work, point out to a supervisor or manager when you see a call avoidance problem like that and I'm sure it'll get sorted out quickly.

Regarding your overall situation; move to where you'll be happy and get those miserable control freaks out of your life for good.

Best of luck!



"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan
User currently onlineklm672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 29, posted (1 year 7 months 1 week 4 days ago) and read 3309 times:

Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 28):
Non-stop calls? In a call center? How horrifying!

No offense, but didn't you get that was part of the gig when you signed on?

This is my third call center job, so I knew what I was getting into, but I am not use to the volume of calls. I guess I didn't expect there to be 10-15 calls holding at 10:30PM.


User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1583 posts, RR: 0
Reply 30, posted (1 year 7 months 1 week 4 days ago) and read 3299 times:

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 2):

As far as your friends, it sounds like a classic example of hanging out with them too much. I recently got in a fight with my roommate just because I live, eat, hang out, study, and work (we are work partners) with him so I saw him ALL the time. You can put up with people and their crap just fine if you only see it once in a while, but when you see them all the time, it really starts to piss you off.

Exactly why i wouldnt live with someone ever again, unless its a long term serious girl friend or wife.


User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 31, posted (1 year 7 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 3020 times:

Quoting type-rated (Reply 4):
Do you really want to live in Dallas or somewhere else? Cost of living in Dallas is actually much lower than in the rust belt. Are you thinking about Dallas only because it would be an easy place to resettle? Where do you REALLY want to live? Take a week or so to figure that out and then start acting on it. The moment you do, the better off you will feel. Step by step, inch by inch as they say.

Yes, Dallas is where I really want to be!


User currently offlineFlighty From United States of America, joined Apr 2007, 8774 posts, RR: 3
Reply 32, posted (1 year 7 months 3 days ago) and read 2916 times:

Don't forget, there is no income tax in Dallas. That is an instant raise right there.

And, you should be able to get a raise raise as well. The Texas job market is hot, hot, hot.


User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 33, posted (1 year 7 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2886 times:

Yes. I spoke to my old company who is HQed in Dallas and have an interview this week. My old manager said a lot of nice things about me (according to the manager in DFW) and he feels I would be an asset to the company knowing "the other side of the house".

User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 34, posted (1 year 6 months 4 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 2613 times:

Had my interview with my old employer yesterday! I think it went well, but we shall see. Will keep everyone updated.

Thanks again!


User currently onlinesccutler From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 5617 posts, RR: 28
Reply 35, posted (1 year 6 months 4 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 2588 times:

Best luck, hope for that which is best for your future.


...three miles from BRONS, clear for the ILS one five approach...
User currently offlineKBOS From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 430 posts, RR: 0
Reply 36, posted (1 year 6 months 3 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 2334 times:

Good Luck!

Just don't become a Cowboy fan....... 



I don't care if the sun don't shine, I do my drinkin in the evening time when I'm in Rhode Island
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 37, posted (1 year 6 months 3 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 2304 times:

Got the job!!!!!! Will be moving soon.

Now, here is one last question regarding this situation and my friends. Here is what I am thinking of doing: just plain not telling them ANYTHING until I get there and be like "oh yea, sorry I forgot to tell you, I moved to DFW." Good idea? Any better ideas? Would it be worth it to be straight and honest and tell them I am moving? I know the consequences would be me not hearing the many reasons why its a "very bad idea" and how they would "support my decision" but turn their cheek.


User currently onlineRyanairGuru From Australia, joined Oct 2006, 5947 posts, RR: 5
Reply 38, posted (1 year 6 months 3 weeks 15 hours ago) and read 2272 times:

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 37):
Got the job!!!!!! Will be moving soon.


CONGRATULATIONS!

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 37):
just plain not telling them ANYTHING until I get there and be like "oh yea, sorry I forgot to tell you, I moved to DFW."

They're your friends, and you know them, so only you are able to figure out how to handle them.

In terms of general advice I would say that you should think about what sort of relationship you want with them moving forward. Do you never want to talk to them again? If so then maybe don't tell them anything and get a new cell phone number. That way you don't have to deal with her recrimination about your life decision etc etc.

If, however, you want to remain friends but at an arms length, maybe do tell them and say something like "I've got a really great job offer in Dallas, and have decided to accept it. It was a difficult decision [which by the sound of it is true], but I feel that it would be the best option for me [which also sounds true - be honest, this is about YOU not them]. When I'm back in town we should catch up with a coffee."

That way, you've indicated that you're moving away from them, but left the door open to having a normal "friend" relationship a year down the track if that's what you want at the time.

Quoting klm672 (Reply 27):
Yes and no. I have my uncle and his girlfriend. As I mentioned, he is only 6 years older than I (ironically, around the age of my friends here). I have met his buddies and his social network

If they're great people and seem legitimately to welcome you then that's great. However, in my experience they would be friendly because they feel an obligation to be, rather than because they really want you hanging around. Obviously keep family ties, and catch up when he has a BBQ at his place or whatever, but it might not be best to have them as your primary social group.

You've now got a great opportunity to start again. I'm not familiar with Dallas, but there will be places that have a large concentration of younger people. I'm not talking college age, but young professionals. While real estate will probably be higher in such an area, if you can afford it then go for it! In the hallway to your apartment or that hip bar down the street you never know who you might meet!

And own your decision! Rather than dwell on the past and wonder what might have happened had you stayed in Cleveland, take a deep breath and dive straight on in. My advise from moving to a different country twice, is at first DO EVERYTHING. Have you ever thought about playing soccer? Well join the local club. Like singing? Find a choir. I normally "drop out" after a month or two, but it helped me to (a) meet people and (b) feel comfortable with where I was, as though I was part of the community.

And best of luck! I really hope that it works out for you



Worked Hard, Flew Right
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 39, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 2190 times:

Thanks for your reply. I am unsure as to what capacity I want these friends at. I think the obvious answer is that they are two people that are ok as friends living far away but living close they try to take over one's life.

The other day I lost my hot water in my apartment. I dealt with cold showers for a few days, but it just wasn't cutting it. I was a day away from going on Vacation, but really wanted to take a nice, hot shower before traveling all day. I asked them if I could use their shower in the morning. They gave me a spare key and I told them that I would be willing to come up anytime, I could let myself in and leave before either of them had to wake up. Again, I have house sat for them and know their house. I was shot down. I was told that there was no good time for me to shower and that the husband had to work in the morning (duh, I know). A few months ago they went on a specialty diet (PSMF diet) and wanted to go along with them. They offered that if i ever had a craving that I could call-- no matter the time, and the would talk me through my craving (as if I'll be sitting at some fast food joint at 4PM mouth watering). Any who, I find it funny that there is a standing offer (as in I could call a month straight "hey guys I am craving fries again") and they would be there for me, but yet I am unable to stop by ONCE for a 20 minute shower? I don't have a house nor am I married, so maybe I am in the wrong here. Maybe it was expecting too much. I know that if it was the other way around, I would open up my apartment and shower for them or any other friend, but maybe that's just me.

Me now thinks if I were needing to call, it would go straight to voice mail. So, I've been upset about that. The whole "we're here for you....(but only under OUR conditions)" it seems like. I just don't want them to make me feel bad. One of our mutual friends is leaving, much for the same reason. I've often wondered why a lot of their former friends are just that, and now I have seen it. They have been making her feel bad for leaving.


User currently onlineRyanairGuru From Australia, joined Oct 2006, 5947 posts, RR: 5
Reply 40, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 2160 times:

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 39):
Thanks for your reply

No worries, and please don't feel that I'm lecturing you!

As I said I have relocated countries twice (UK-USA-AUS) and schools more time than I care remember. Maybe because of this, or as well as, I was pretty antisocial when I was younger.

Moving to college - deliberately getting as far away from my parents as possible - was the best decision I ever made. I don't dislike my parents, and have a much better relationship with them now than when I was 18, but staying even within driving distance of home would have kept me in some way connected to "normal life". Instead I wanted to change everything, start again. Not get away from them, but get away from my "antisocialness" and start a life in a single place.

It worked out well for me, I'm a year away from graduating law, have a great group of friends, a great girlfriend and we have (scarily!) discussed marriage after we've both graduated, everything has worked out well. Of course it wasn't smooth sailing, there are highs and lows, but making a "clean break" worked out for me.

While no two people are the same, I earnestly hope that it does for you as well.

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 39):
I know that if it was the other way around, I would open up my apartment and shower for them or any other friend, but maybe that's just me

So true, sometimes you don't know how friendly your friends are until you have to rely on them for something

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 39):
One of our mutual friends is leaving, much for the same reason

Are you good friends with this mutual friend? If it is true that they have similar issues as you then maybe this would be someone worth staying in touch with? Even if you go to different cities, some shared experience could be the bedrock to a good friendship.

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 39):
They offered that if i ever had a craving that I could call-- no matter the time, and the would talk me through my craving

That is called manipulation, she is manipulating what you eat and when you eat it. Even if you are 500lbs (which I doubt!) unless you REALLY want to diet, don't even bother. It is almost as hard as quitting smoking (and believe me that's tough!) so it takes extreme will power to overcome cravings. That's why I've quitted quitting for now, my heart isn't fully in it while I'm at college which means that, if anything, it just makes me stressed.



Worked Hard, Flew Right
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 41, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2118 times:

Yeah...the diet... The thing with that is that IF I were to do THEIR diet, eat THEIR food suugestions and use THEIR exercise program and lose the weight, i wouldn't get the credit. Oh no, no, no it would be all about them and how THEY helped me. I'll never forget the day we went out to eat and I got a shrimp plate. The horror on her face when the shrimp came out......breaded!! "NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT! NO!!!! TAKE IT BACK!!" she screamed (how dare the waitress NOT know about their diet and that I might be on it). I just shrugged it off but wanted to bury myself in the table cloth. I've shied away from any of their ideas only to be met with "Dude!! I told you to..' or "Dude, I highly suggest".

User currently offlineHOmSaR From United States of America, joined Jan 2010, 1214 posts, RR: 0
Reply 42, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2088 times:

At first I was thinking, just add them to your Facebook page, and stay "friends" that way (assuming you're on Facebook).

Now, I'm not even sure that's worth it.

Just make the move. Don't worry about them. If their feelings are hurt...so what?



I was raised by a cup of coffee.
User currently offlineDFWHeavy From United States of America, joined Jul 2011, 560 posts, RR: 0
Reply 43, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 2063 times:

Duuude... Just let them know the day you are packing up the U-Haul to move down here to DFW. Say Something like... "Oh Hey, I'm Moving to Texas. Take Care". I'd love to see the reaction on their faces.

 



Christopher W Slovacek
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 44, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 2014 times:

Quoting DFWHeavy (Reply 43):
Duuude... Just let them know the day you are packing up the U-Haul to move down here to DFW. Say Something like... "Oh Hey, I'm Moving to Texas. Take Care". I'd love to see the reaction on their faces.

Yes, good idea. A little bit of both. Tell them, but just before I'm pulling out of the driveway...


User currently offlineAviRaider From United States of America, joined Nov 2007, 185 posts, RR: 0
Reply 45, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1968 times:

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 41):
Yeah...the diet... The thing with that is that IF I were to do THEIR diet, eat THEIR food suugestions and use THEIR exercise program and lose the weight, i wouldn't get the credit. Oh no, no, no it would be all about them and how THEY helped me. I'll never forget the day we went out to eat and I got a shrimp plate. The horror on her face when the shrimp came out......breaded!! "NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT! NO!!!! TAKE IT BACK!!" she screamed (how dare the waitress NOT know about their diet and that I might be on it). I just shrugged it off but wanted to bury myself in the table cloth. I've shied away from any of their ideas only to be met with "Dude!! I told you to..' or "Dude, I highly suggest".

I'm not one to hurt someones feelings, but life goes on and they will too. I think you should be honest and explain, maybe not in a lot of detail, your issues with them. Sometimes people don't even realize their behavior until they are called out on it. It sounds like they are the fixer type, where they want to fix people according to their own ideals. You are who you are, and true friends will accept you for that. Don't be codependant because the fixer types will eat it all up. But you hit it on the head, their "friendship" was just out of convienence to them.

Good luck in your move. Be careful in moving it's getting hot here now. Welcome to Texas!


User currently offlineDFWHeavy From United States of America, joined Jul 2011, 560 posts, RR: 0
Reply 46, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1961 times:

Let's all wish KLM672 a Very Happy Birthday!!


Christopher W Slovacek
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 47, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1942 times:

Quoting AviRaider (Reply 45):
I'm not one to hurt someones feelings, but life goes on and they will too. I think you should be honest and explain, maybe not in a lot of detail, your issues with them. Sometimes people don't even realize their behavior until they are called out on it. It sounds like they are the fixer type, where they want to fix people according to their own ideals. You are who you are, and true friends will accept you for that. Don't be codependant because the fixer types will eat it all up. But you hit it on the head, their "friendship" was just out of convienence to them.

Good luck in your move. Be careful in moving it's getting hot here now. Welcome to Texas!

Thanks. I have certainly tried to be straight and tell them, but its a lost cause. They are the type of people who feel they are always "in the right" no matter the cause. Why try and explain myself or my feelings when (according to them) I'm always in the wrong?


User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 48, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1943 times:

Quoting DFWHeavy (Reply 46):
Let's all wish KLM672 a Very Happy Birthday!!

Thanks Chris. I say you have one of your BBQs when I get there and invite allllll the a.net DFW peeps.


User currently offlineDFWHeavy From United States of America, joined Jul 2011, 560 posts, RR: 0
Reply 49, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1927 times:

Haha that would be a pretty cool idea


Christopher W Slovacek
User currently onlineRyanairGuru From Australia, joined Oct 2006, 5947 posts, RR: 5
Reply 50, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 1880 times:

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 48):
have one of your BBQs when I get there and invite allllll the a.net DFW peeps.
Quoting DFWHeavy (Reply 49):
Haha that would be a pretty cool idea

See, meeting people isn't so hard  

And Happy Birthday   



Worked Hard, Flew Right
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 51, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 4 days 19 hours ago) and read 1878 times:

Quoting RyanairGuru (Reply 50):
See, meeting people isn't so hard  

And Happy Birthday   

nah, I am pretty good at meeting people, just have a hard time getting rid of some, sometimes.

Thanks for the birthday wish!


User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2500 posts, RR: 3
Reply 52, posted (1 year 6 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1796 times:

Quoting RyanairGuru (Reply 40):
Quoting KLM672 (Reply 39):
One of our mutual friends is leaving, much for the same reason

Are you good friends with this mutual friend? If it is true that they have similar issues as you then maybe this would be someone worth staying in touch with? Even if you go to different cities, some shared experience could be the bedrock to a good friendship.

I realized that I never did respond back to you on this. Yes, we're pretty good friends, and our friendship started to really take off when we were just by chance "comparing notes" on these friends and realized a lot of the same things were bothering us.


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