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A Painful Toilet Incident!  
User currently offlineRussianJet From Belgium, joined Jul 2007, 7714 posts, RR: 21
Posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 2438 times:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-n...nake-bites-mans-penis-sits-2056830

A cautionary tale from Israel. I'll be checking under the seat from now on, even though we hardly have any snakes here in the UK!


✈ Every strike of the hammer is a blow against the enemy. ✈
16 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineTSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 3070 posts, RR: 5
Reply 1, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 2368 times:

Reason enough for the default position of a toilet seat to be up, not down. Ladies who complain about the toilet seat being left in the up position, you have now officially lost your case and will henceforth be required to lower the toilet seat yourself before sitting down and to return said toilet seat to it's full upright position before exiting the restroom.


Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
User currently offlineSOBHI51 From Saudi Arabia, joined Jun 2003, 3518 posts, RR: 17
Reply 2, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 2335 times:
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Good news it was not a Palestinian viper otherwise this would have resulted in more land grabbing  


I am against any terrorist acts committed under the name of Islam
User currently offlinetype-rated From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 2327 times:

Quoting TSS (Reply 1):
Reason enough for the default position of a toilet seat to be up, not down. Ladies who complain about the toilet seat being left in the up position, you have now officially lost your case and will henceforth be required to lower the toilet seat yourself before sitting down and to return said toilet seat to it's full upright position before exiting the restroom.

Why can't women just look first to see what position the seat is in? Most of the women that complain about this can tell you stories about a overnight pit stop where they have fallen in the toilet because the seat was up. Why didn't they just look first?

Maybe the guy in the story could do a flush first before sitting down to get rid of any reptiles first?

I know a number of people who have said that this type of incident is one of their biggest fears!


User currently offlineRussianJet From Belgium, joined Jul 2007, 7714 posts, RR: 21
Reply 4, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 2286 times:

Quoting TSS (Reply 1):
Reason enough for the default position of a toilet seat to be up, not down.

An excellent point. The next time I get such a complaint, this defence will be used.



✈ Every strike of the hammer is a blow against the enemy. ✈
User currently offlineOA260 From Ireland, joined Nov 2006, 27254 posts, RR: 60
Reply 5, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 2284 times:

Quoting SOBHI51 (Reply 2):
Good news it was not a Palestinian viper otherwise this would have resulted in more land grabbing  

        


User currently offlinesw733 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6365 posts, RR: 9
Reply 6, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 2189 times:

Quoting type-rated (Reply 3):
Why can't women just look first to see what position the seat is in?

They're simply not smart enough  


User currently onlinePanHAM From Germany, joined May 2005, 9676 posts, RR: 31
Reply 7, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 2097 times:

The name of that medical center in Haifa is priceless, "RamBam Medical Center".

 



E's passed on! That parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
User currently offlineRussianJet From Belgium, joined Jul 2007, 7714 posts, RR: 21
Reply 8, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 2077 times:

Do you suppose that RamBam has a genital snakebite unit? On a more sensible note, I wonder how often this sort of thing really happens. I have a friend who recounted a tale of how his father was once about to pull on his underwear in the bathroom and luckily at the last moment noticed that there was a scorpion sat inside them! Eek.


✈ Every strike of the hammer is a blow against the enemy. ✈
User currently offlinedc9northwest From Switzerland, joined Feb 2007, 2299 posts, RR: 7
Reply 9, posted (1 year 4 months 2 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 2041 times:

A snake bit the trouser snake... Snake cannibalism should be punished with a good flush down the toilet.

Besides, it wasn't venomous... No harm done, but perhaps it'll be a more pressing task for the man to look at what he's doing. And what he's doing it on.


User currently offlinej.mo From United States of America, joined Feb 2002, 665 posts, RR: 1
Reply 10, posted (1 year 4 months 1 week 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1868 times:

This story makes me think of the SNL skit with Jimmy Fallon when his partner gets bit on the junk by a snake. They pull out a medical book to see waht needs to be done.

#1) Suck the venom from the bite.  

MO



What is the difference between Fighter pilots and God? God never thought he was a fighter pilot.
User currently offlineRevelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 12856 posts, RR: 25
Reply 11, posted (1 year 4 months 1 week 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1688 times:

All this reminds me of the classic Frank Zappa song, Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?

Quote:

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
N grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...when i
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Ahh, sing it, Ike Willis!

Quoting TSS (Reply 1):
Ladies who complain about the toilet seat being left in the up position, you have now officially lost your case and will henceforth be required to lower the toilet seat yourself before sitting down and to return said toilet seat to it's full upright position before exiting the restroom.

Said ladies will blame the nearest male for the presence of the snake regardless of the seat position. Damn it man, haven't you realized it yet that regardless of the situation, any problem is the man's fault?

Quoting RussianJet (Reply 8):
Do you suppose that RamBam has a genital snakebite unit?

Seems they may also have a specialty in rectal issues?

Quoting j.mo (Reply 10):
This story makes me think of the SNL skit with Jimmy Fallon when his partner gets bit on the junk by a snake. They pull out a medical book to see waht needs to be done.

#1) Suck the venom from the bite.

That particular joke certainly predates Jimmy Fallon.



Inspiration, move me brightly!
User currently offlinej.mo From United States of America, joined Feb 2002, 665 posts, RR: 1
Reply 12, posted (1 year 4 months 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1605 times:

Quoting Revelation (Reply 11):
That particular joke certainly predates Jimmy Fallon.

You sure live up to your name. Didn't say it was original material, just said it reminded me of a skit....I guess I should have researched the origins. My bad.

JM



What is the difference between Fighter pilots and God? God never thought he was a fighter pilot.
User currently offlineRevelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 12856 posts, RR: 25
Reply 13, posted (1 year 4 months 1 week 3 days ago) and read 1389 times:

Quoting j.mo (Reply 12):
My bad.

Not at all - I really meant nothing by the comment...



Inspiration, move me brightly!
User currently offlineSpeedbirdie From United Kingdom, joined May 2006, 918 posts, RR: 52
Reply 14, posted (1 year 4 months 1 week 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1311 times:

Considering all you men seem to have the worst aim when it comes to using a toilet, it really is not difficult to just put the damn thing that you have just pissed all over down and then wash your hands. It saves us women having to touch your disgustiness (yes I just made that word up) even more. It is really not that difficult..
Quit ya bitching and keep your women happy!

oh wait.. this is a.net..

:D



Never give up..
User currently offlineRevelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 12856 posts, RR: 25
Reply 15, posted (1 year 4 months 1 week 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 1205 times:

Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 14):
keep your women happy

You ask for the impossible!  



Inspiration, move me brightly!
User currently offlinecptkrell From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 3220 posts, RR: 12
Reply 16, posted (1 year 4 months 1 week 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 1191 times:

Down here in the holler, the joke goes like this when one guy gets bit on the unit by a rattler out in the middle of nowhere...
Guy #1: "Use the forest ranger phone and ask what I should do!"
Guy#2 gets on the emergency phone and the meds at the ranger office say "Cut a small incision and suck the venom out."
Guy#1 asks "What did the doctor say?"
Guy#2 sez "The doctor said you gonna die."

BTW, "getting it from the turlet seat" (Archie Bunker's pronunciation):;
"Doctor, can I get a case of VD from a public toilet?"
"Yes, my dear, you can. I highly suggest you stop screwing in public toilets."

Maybe lame, but I need a li'l bit of brevity, particularly with this subject. all best...jack



all best; jack
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