Speedbird092 From Canada, joined Apr 2000, 169 posts, RR: 0 Posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2615 times:
I need some help cause i am a little lost at the moment. I dont want to write any long boring stories, so i'll try to go straight to the point. I'm 16 and havent been a relationship before (i've been out with girls one on one but never with the intention of getting into anything). There's this girl that i like... and i plan on asking her out. However... as you may have guessed... i dont know the first thing about relationships and maintaining one. So i'd really appreciate if anyone told me something worthwhile on that one (even if its something simple like where to take a girl out [except the obvious movies/clubs], or proper etiquette). Share your stories... i could use all the help i can get.
Stretch 8 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 2561 posts, RR: 17 Reply 1, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2598 times:
Be a gentleman; get the door for her, offer your arm. Listen to her. Be respectful. Hold her hand. Be a little shy about kissing, etc. Don't brag to your friends about her (especially behind her back). As for dating, ask her what she would like to do. And don't rush into intimacy, whatever you do.
Maggs swings, it's a drive deep to left! The Tigers are going to the World Series!!!
Flyingbronco05 From United States of America, joined May 2002, 3838 posts, RR: 3 Reply 2, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 2566 times:
Don't take her to the movies on a first date. You can't talk at the movies. Go bowling or miniture golfing. Something fun where you can also talk and maybe even help her bowl or golf. Be creative and have fun.
Hepkat From Austria, joined Aug 2000, 2341 posts, RR: 2 Reply 4, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 2564 times:
Speedbird, no one can tell you exactly what to do, since there are as many different approaches as there are personalities, and what might have worked for others might not work for you. But there are a few things common to all successful relationships:
1) Be honest with your feelings. Women appreciate knowing how you feel, even if it's a negative feeling, as long as it's expressed with tact.
2) Be yourself, never pretend or lie to be something you're not. Women have an uncanny ability to find out and it's more likely that she likes you for who you already are.
3) Be confident, women are attracted to men who know what they want and how to get it. That doesn't mean you should be aggressive, just believe in yourself and your abilities.
4) Remain flexible and ready to learn. There's nothing wrong with being 16, but you will turn ANYONE off if you come off as a know-it-all instead of being willing to learn as you progress through your relationship.
5) Try to keep your expectations at a very bare minimum. From what I've seen with countless couples, it's usually expectations that finally do them in. By not having expectations, you remove that aspect of pressure and anxiety. It's far easier to get to know someone who doesn't expect anything of you.
6) Try to accept your partner for who they are. Bear in mind when you decide to enter a relationship with someone, you're accepting all the good as well as all the bad. You can be a source of inspiration, but you then must allow them to change on their own.
7) Realize that nothing lasts forever. If you feel that the relationship has run its natural course, respectfully and mutually go your separate ways. Maybe you could maintain a better relationship as friends rather than lovers.
8) Be considerate of the feelings of others. Constantly think of your partner. For example, simple little things like stopping at a store, ask your partner if she'd like you to get her something. These simple gestures go a long way to solidify a relationship.
Can't think of anything more right now, but I think these are the big ones. Good luck, have fun, and learn from the experience.
SSTjumbo From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 5, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 2533 times:
While driving with her in the passenger seat, play some Tower of Power ballads over the speakers, and learn the lyrics to all of them. Tower of Power's ballads speak love very powerfully. Start with something like "So Very Hard to Go" and build up a selection from there. Their ballads are all great lover's lane songs.
Sophiemaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3 Reply 7, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 2489 times:
Sorry, can't help you. I'm 30 and don't know the first thing about relationships or how to maintain one either. I wish you luck though! I think finding the right person really has a large part to do with it though.
Speedbird092 From Canada, joined Apr 2000, 169 posts, RR: 0 Reply 8, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 2438 times:
guys... do any ideas where i can take her out? There'd be nothing i'd like more than to take her along this picture perfect victorian street and chill at the cafes and then by the lake nearby... unfortunately thats in a short while away.... if u guys have other ideas plz let me know
NWA From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 1200 posts, RR: 3 Reply 10, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 2412 times:
ahh, how this subject sucks. ;-( oh well, I like to take my dates to red lobster. then I will go to some fun place, like a game room or just cruiz the mall. this way she can flirt like nuts, gives her a good impression of you for the mael, and it seems to work.
23 victor, turn right heading 210, maintain 3000 till established, cleared ILS runwy 24.
Co 757-300 From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 320 posts, RR: 0 Reply 13, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 4 days 15 hours ago) and read 2287 times:
ask her to come over and watch Speed or some classc thriller like that. dont rush into kissing her though unless she meakes the first move which never happens almost. give her a kiss on the cheek goodnight at most on the first serious date. tell her you had alot of fun wit her, and you enjoy her company very much, do corny things too like picking a flwer out of your neighbors garden and handing it to her, girls lke that corny stuff. trust me it works... second date is good for movies, and MABEY a mouth kiss but you have to have an "eye moment" wit hher, if you two happen to look at eachother and get lost in eachothers eyes, kiss her on the lips with a closed mouth and if she responds, then yeah..... id say dont ask her out before the third date. and look for the little signals, like her smiling alot at you and looking into your eyes and maing herself comfortable when you put your arm around her. also a test i use alot is... for example hold her hand and then slowly take it away while still touching her with your fingers, if she goes after it an hold it thats good, if not she may just be insecure.
Kaitakfan From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 1587 posts, RR: 7 Reply 14, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 2380 times:
Now that you got all that high school info on how to date a girl. I will tell you from first hand experience this one thing... "Just wait until college"!! High school relationships are a good way to learn about yourself. Who you are and what you like in girls. Perfect way to set the stage for going out and just really enjoying yourself in college! I noticed way to many people in high school held on to relationships thinking they would last forever! Not a bad thing to wish for, but its very naieve. My best advice is really try not to become very attached while dating. So many people make the mistake of thinking the first person they fall in love with will last forever. Fairy tales aside now! Bottom line is dont get too attached while your young in HS. Enjoy the time you share together as much as possible and be greatful for every day you spend with that person while dating. And then in 2 years time, you will probably be like many college guys and dating a new girl every 5 to 8 weeks! Things only get better with time mate! Enjoy every step of the way!
TWA902fly From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 3078 posts, RR: 4 Reply 17, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 2240 times:
Funny to find this topic, cause i just got back from Seattle (back to Chicago) where my girlfriend is, and i've gotten myself into an extremely serious relationship that i don't see an end to for awhile. But anyways we're talking about you not me. The most important thing here i would tell you is to be on the same level of openness to each other. You have to be friends, best friends, better than best friends, and most other things will come natrually if you already care about each other so much as friends. Or at least that's the way it worked for me. I am 16 and (yes its crazy) i got a long distance girlfriend, and not only that but it's working against all odds. literally all odds.
so good luck speedbird.
life wasn't worth the balance, or the crumpled paper it was written on
VirginLover From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 958 posts, RR: 15 Reply 19, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 2204 times:
You don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend at 16, but it's fun (mostly) to have one. Tips, lets see... first date? The park is always a good choice. The summer's almost ending, so you won't have too many opportunities to do something al fresco until next summer (unless, of course, you live in a warm climate) Challenge her to a game of basketball or tennis if she's athletic, or if not, take a walk and play on the playground (it's best to do that at night, when all the kids have gone home! ), push her on the swings; it might not sound good on paper, but it's quite cute. Big plusses in my book? A guy who calls when he says he does. Oh, and if you're asking her to something, have something planned. Don't be like, "Wanna do something tonight?" "Sure, what?" "I dunno" especially when asking her on the first date, you can pull the "I dunno" a bit farther down the road if you're going out with her! I know that's very rare, so I hold on to any guy who follows that rule! It shows that you're really interested and you care about her feelings. Kisses on the first date? If I like the guy, I definitely appreciate it, but if you're not sure, follow the tips that some of the other members gave. Keep showing interest, keep your promises, and you'll definitely get somewhere. Even if this girl isn't interested in you, she might recommend to you to her single friend! One more thing, if she starts showing signs of not being interested, like always been busy and not giving you a direct answer or "I'd really love to, but I have practice, how about next week?" kind of answer, or she tells you, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in having a boyfriend right now" back off. I know it's hard, but you'll definitely sever anything with her or one of her friends if you come across as clingy. But don't give up, girls change their mind all the time. She might just call you 2 months down the road asking you out! (Trust me, this does happen) Good luck!
DeltaRules From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 3662 posts, RR: 9 Reply 20, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 4 days ago) and read 2191 times:
Speedbird- I'm in your situation, too. Everything mentioned above looks like good advice, though! My only advice would be that if the girl shuts you down (which hopefully won't happen), I'd be looking at a 2nd girl, just in case. (Pathetic idea, I know...)
My story: I'm about 15, never had a relationship or gone out with someone (never have come close), like a girl, have no idea what to do. Also, I don't have enough nerve to ask anybody out- one of my friends is willing to do it for me, although I think I should be the one to ask.
IMO, I'm with VirginLover, in that you don't NEED one now, but it's cool to have one.
VirginLover From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 958 posts, RR: 15 Reply 21, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 2185 times:
Oh, another thing, don't get discouraged- I didn't have my first kiss until 14 and my first relationship until 15...and after that two month deal, there was nothing worth noting until this summer (I'm 2 months away from being 17)...tip, look outside your school if possible- guys don't give me a second glance at school, but I get attention outside of school. Keep your chin up and keep looking, she's/he's out there!
Tu144d From United States of America, joined Apr 2002, 198 posts, RR: 3 Reply 22, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 2089 times:
Don't become her best friend. It will ruin everything....THe girl I fell in love with turned out to be my best friend and it just ruined everything when I told her. She thought that I became close to her just to make a move and thought I didn't care. So in the end, I lost her and my best friend. It's been a year and I'm still depressed over it.
TWA902fly From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 3078 posts, RR: 4 Reply 23, posted (11 years 3 months 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 2079 times:
Tu144d- that makes me think, everyone's got their own story sort of. There are people who say you should marry your best friend, then theres people who say the opposite, there's people who say high school relationships never work out, then theres people who marry their high school sweet heart and stay together forever,
now that I think about it Speedbird, there isnt anything you can really plan for, every relationship has it's own 'life' sort of. I think the best advice would be to 'go with the flow' and don't lead her into things you know she might respond badly to... and someone up there mentioned "dont expect anything", thats really important and good advice, just go with what happens, and seriously never expect anything to happen, even if you're madly in love with each other (someday), crossing the next line might ruin it all. So find a high and stay there, don't try to push too much.
i feel like i repeated myself like 4 times using different words- but oh well
life wasn't worth the balance, or the crumpled paper it was written on