Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Why Is It Some Of Us Are Doomed To Remain Single?  
User currently offlineBarcode From Switzerland, joined Dec 2001, 678 posts, RR: 11
Posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 6784 times:

You know, a friend and I were discussing this earlier and I'm sure some people here must empathize - we just can't work out why it is we're still single. I don't have relationships; I have a series of unsatisfying flings.

I'm not fat ( not like 300 pounds or anything ), I'm not facially inept ( far from being Cindy Crawford, but I'm working on it;-]), I dress nicely, I work out, I'm polite to people. I don't smoke, I shower daily, I'm solvent. So, what is it ? Why is it I have now been single for well over a year ?

I'm quite perplexed. There may be a huge personality flaw that is immediately apparent to everyone else but me, or maybe I really do have two heads. It's lost on me - who else sympathises with being left indoors at weekends to watch movies, drink a bottle of wine and bemoan your single status ?



73 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offline777236ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 6722 times:

Shit happens. You have no idea how often I've had to cheer up other people like this. Being a couple isn't the be all and end all of life. You've got to be happy with what you have, not with what you could have. You've probably got a great personality and you're attractive, that doesn't nessecarily mean a thing. Sometimes the ugly ones get people and the cute ones don't, it's the way of the world.

User currently offlineNJTurnpike From United States of America, joined May 2000, 580 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6698 times:

I don't normally go around quoting Pet Shop Boys lyrics (I mean..who does??), but they got this right;

"Just what you least expected, just when least expect"

The trick is getting used to not expecting anything. And when you do meet somebody, it feels like being thwacked over the head by a 2 x 4..er..in a good way.

Yep. Gonna quit this advice-giving lark while I'm ahead.  Big grin




User currently offlineBarcode From Switzerland, joined Dec 2001, 678 posts, RR: 11
Reply 3, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6692 times:

Oh, I'm not terribly depressed about it - my time is pretty much consumed with work, and planning a move to the States next year for my degree :-] But it'd be nice to meet someone to hang out with, do regular stuff with ... nothing serious though, goodness, I am off that after the last experience ...

I'm just bitter because my friends are gay men who seem to have everything ... and the people I do meet, well, I'm not that desperate .... I seem to attract people that I'm wildly incompatible with or flat out dislike ....



User currently offlineTwaneedsnohelp From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6685 times:

no idea, i had sex last night.

User currently onlineLjungdahl From Sweden, joined Apr 2002, 907 posts, RR: 36
Reply 5, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6684 times:

It's lost on me - who else sympathises with being left indoors at weekends to watch movies, drink a bottle of wine and bemoan your single status ?

Left indoors?

I believe that's a big part of your problem!

WHO left you indoors? Your "friends"? Nice friends, if that's the case (j/k).

Even if I, as a male, have a different view of the world around us, I can tell you that you future partner would probably not be ringing at your doorbell, or call at your phone when you're staring at it!

Just because this person don't even know about your existence!!

This is probably tougher for a female, but the best advice I can give you is to go out! To the Bar, Disco or whatever, but DO NO JUST SIT INDOORS!

The solution is to be active!

YOU take the first step, approach a guy that you think's look nice.

It's really, really tough, I know!

But I also know, as a guy, that a girl who has the guts to do such a thing is REALLY impressing at me!

The worst, possible, thing that could happen, is that your "object" give the word "no" as an answer.
But it's more likely that the answer is a "yes" and a big smile, just because he feels so flattered to have been chosen...

...why not give it a try tonite, after all it's Friday...  Big grin

...good luck...

...Johan...


User currently offlineArtsyman From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 4745 posts, RR: 34
Reply 6, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6692 times:

Barcode wrote...I'm just bitter because my friends are gay men who seem to have everything ... and the people I do meet, well, I'm not that desperate .... I seem to attract people that I'm wildly incompatible with or flat out dislike ....


If I could offer one piece of advice it would be to spend a little time thinking about what you really want, what sort of a person, what sort of interests, and why you want them.

I went through a lot of "flingy" relationships that while I suppose were physically satisfying, there were not anything else.

I remember on March 27th of 2000, I was visiting my sister in London, and I had just split with another woman that I felt totally bored with, and I said to my sister, why can't I meet someone that loves to travel, isn't so toy-boy that she thinks she is a man (I love a strong woman, but some softness is wonderful too), and is into going to see Concerts (I am addicted to Sting concerts, saw about 50 in the last 2 years)...any ways, I went that night to see Sting again at the Albert Hall, met my current 'sting daft' girlfriend, who has accompanied me to about 40 shows in the last 2 years, is a total gadget freak like me, and loves to travel.... . It was an added bonus that she works for Continental and that we now fly free all over the world more or less every week.

Like anything in life, try to be clear with what you want, I have dated plenty of model types that look great, but that doesnt make them fun to hang out with... although some obviously were.

I suppose the joke about a forced mating of Stephen Hawking and Elle McPherson applies here.

In a bid to make a superchild that has the brain of Hawking and the looks of Elle, scientists talked of a forced mating...but Hawking said that in all likelihood, we will end up with a woman that looks like Hawking and a brain of Elle McPherson......

Last but not least, getting happy with you will make you more attractive to others....

Keep smiling

Jeremy


User currently offlineDPrush From United States of America, joined May 2002, 97 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6665 times:

The fact that you're interested in Star Trek,X Files, Science Fiction and Astronomy (as per your profile) may have something to do with it....

User currently offline777236ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6660 times:

TNNH can get laid, so can you.

User currently offlineBarcode From Switzerland, joined Dec 2001, 678 posts, RR: 11
Reply 9, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 6659 times:

... and this is coming from someone into planes as a hobby *chortle*

JoHan, I do try and get out - and it's another female I'm looking for ;-] It's just that on the gay scene many lesbians look like they belong on an oil rig. Then there's the feminine model types who seem to be way out of my league, and I'll just stutter and mumble inanities on the occasions I have been approached ... I need to get over that.

I'm relatively happy with myself. I don't have huge expectations of others - obviously, I'd like someone intelligent and good looking ... but so would everyone. As long as they don't look like they've been involved in therapy with a toilet brush, then I'll take a second look ....

It'd be nice to meet someone into the same things as I am. I've actually had someone come to my apartment and make their excuses when they noticed my Star Trek collection. I admit, I do have some " geeky " interests ... but I'm not prepared to give up the things I enjoy because it may put someone else off ....

Somebody who loves to travel as well would be great, since I like to get away at least once a month. I've never understood people who think they can see the world from an armchair ...


User currently offlineSilverangel From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 6655 times:

Way to be sympathetic TWA. You got banned? I can't possibly imagine how that would have happened, lol...

Barcode,

Cheer up sweety. Don't worry about what to expect or not. Sometimes the problem isn't that, but that you may just be looking in the wrong direction. I used to think I would never meet the right man. Then one day I realized that I was right, and started seeing women instead. It was a world of difference. I was treated legues better, I waas never stood up, or handed lame excuses about anything, and frankly, if not for the actual sex with other women (not a bad thing, but it can be immensly unsatisfying at times, kind of like taking a warm bath instead of hitting the spa pool), I'd be more commited to the lifestyle. I guess what I am saying is that I can see that you are between 21-25yrs old. You are probably sick of hearing it, but babe, you have no idea where your life will take you in the next few years (I certainly didn't when I was that age!!!), and the surprises can be just wonderful. Take care & Best of Luck!


PS, If it makes you feel any better Cindy Crawford never got me wet anyways. Never understimate the appeal of a natural look!


User currently offlineIMissPiedmont From United States of America, joined May 2001, 6294 posts, RR: 33
Reply 11, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days ago) and read 6586 times:

A whole year? I really don't mean to be cruel but that is a very short time. I was single and not dating anyone at all, yes that means sex, for almost 7 years before I met my current love. She was worth the wait.


Damn, this website is getting worse daily.
User currently offlineApathoid From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days ago) and read 6581 times:

I'd do ya honey...no troubles.

User currently offlineBarcode From Switzerland, joined Dec 2001, 678 posts, RR: 11
Reply 13, posted (12 years 3 weeks 5 days ago) and read 6579 times:

I'll pass - " do ya " - do you use expressions like " shagging me bird " as well ? ;-]

SilverAngel, I have never ever slept with a male so don't wish to pass judgement on the opposite sex. I have however met an awful lot of men who suggest that if I slept with them, I'd never look at my Jodie Foster posters ever again ;-]

And seven years ? Were you occupied in between IMISSPIEDMONT ? I'm quite happy with my job, social life and friends. It's just at this point I'm starting to become a little paranoid about matters ....

I'm not into one night stands, meeting people in clubs, or dating someone when they don't engage me on an intellectual/emotional level. So that pretty rules most people my age out. Guess I'll have to hold out for a bit longer, and make do with watching my Jodie Foster movie collection and admiring the poster on my bedroom wall ....


User currently offlineMx5_boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 6551 times:

"""""Oh, I'm not terribly depressed about it - my time is pretty much consumed with work, and planning a move to the States next year for my degree :-] But it'd be nice to meet someone to hang out with, do regular stuff with ... nothing serious though, goodness, I am off that after the last experience ...

I'm just bitter because my friends are gay men who seem to have everything ... and the people I do meet, well, I'm not that desperate .... I seem to attract people that I'm wildly incompatible with or flat out dislike ....""""


Um Miss Barcode - I can recount the above but swap the gay men for gay women and you've got it honey!! Thats why you'll have it great in Sydney.

mb

*yay!* Nothing like a cute lezzie in my convertible!!!


User currently offlineEGGD From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2001, 12443 posts, RR: 35
Reply 15, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 6538 times:

Ummmmm. Well, for some its harder than others... It especially doesn't help you that, in your situations you have three options, a)The butchest woman you've ever seen, b)a porno movie star, or, c)someone very much like you.

The chances of you finding someone who isn't butch, or doesn't do porno's for a living, isn't as great as if say, you were in mb's position. Therefore, you should just keep your eyes open, try and find somewhere that you can find people that tend to be of the same sexual preference (you know, like a bar or something), but don't go out of your way to find someone if it means getting in the way of your education/living.

mm

I wish i wasn't so tired and maybe I could give you some good advice  Big grin


User currently offlineBarcode From Switzerland, joined Dec 2001, 678 posts, RR: 11
Reply 16, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 6490 times:

teeheehee, yes MX5BOY, we can go cruising the streets of Sydney in search of some action ... ;-]

EGGD - who said I was complaining about a porno movie star ;-] I do go to bars here in London, and that's how I've reached my assertion a lot of lesbians do fit the stereotype. I mean, if I wanted a man I wouldn't settle for an imitation in dungarees and doc martens - I'd go out and get the REAL thing !

Times are getting desperate, so I may have to revise that opinion somewhat ...


User currently offlineJanne From Sweden, joined Sep 2001, 379 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 6464 times:

Barcode, my guess is you actually are a male (probably around 30 -40)
trying to pull everyones leg. If you really are a "25 year old girl" why don't
you just go out in the weekend instead of sitting home watching movies?


User currently offlineBarcode From Switzerland, joined Dec 2001, 678 posts, RR: 11
Reply 18, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 6449 times:

Exccuuuuseeeeeeeeee me ? I'm a 21 year old female, or at least I was the last time I bothered to check. Perhaps I don't like hanging around bars *every* weekend, or perhaps I'm actually working. Yes, it's Saturday night and I have to work.

Good god, perhaps I should post a photo to verify I am who I say I am ....

Quit the paranoia already.


User currently offlineJanne From Sweden, joined Sep 2001, 379 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 6443 times:

Ha, ha, Barcode. Well excuse me for saying 25 instead of 21 years old.
Yes, you could actually send a photo of yourself to me. Of course, just to
confirm your sex (please don't overdo the clothes thing. It makes it so much
harder to confirm that you're telling the truth).


User currently offlineBarcode From Switzerland, joined Dec 2001, 678 posts, RR: 11
Reply 20, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 6441 times:

Sort of a recent pic ( taken a few months ago ). I'm the one of the left ( obviously ).

http://www.acid-dreams.com/beltran.jpg


User currently offlineJanne From Sweden, joined Sep 2001, 379 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 6431 times:

I'm sorry Barcode. I just now took the time to read thru the whole discussion
group. By the way, very nice photo. Never understood that you are gay.
So I guess the search for me goes on...what the heck, I'm only 50 years old.
If you convert, give me a call.


User currently offlineSA-JET From South Africa, joined May 2000, 297 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 6421 times:

Hey Barcode
FULL SUPPORT from this side!! If I have to hear one more person ask me "so, how's your love life?" Then I'm going to through myself into the 1st oncoming car. I can't even give a good replay to "how's your sex life?"
That scene from BJD-she walks into the dinner party with ALL the "smug married couples" sitting together...well, that's me honey!
And people who think us gay guys are just bonking ourselves into a coma, think again...I'm about to go straight...but that won't help!
Oh well...
take care
SA-JET


User currently offlineJanne From Sweden, joined Sep 2001, 379 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 6423 times:

anybody have any idea of what SA-JET is talking about?


User currently offlineSA-JET From South Africa, joined May 2000, 297 posts, RR: 0
Reply 24, posted (12 years 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 6417 times:

Janne, its 00h30 down here, right now I don't even know what I'm talking about!  Smile

25 Janne : SA-JET. Right on baby. I'm hitting the sack myself. Barcode, if you really are what you say (a girl that is), give some response to this shit (shit=an
26 EGGD : Barcode -gosh darnit! Everytime I see a picture of you, you look like a different person, and this time you've gone one stop further, and changed colo
27 Barcode : *is very perplexed* - I've always been a pasty looking individual of British origin.
28 Barcode : No chance of me converting. Although I did watch Dirty Dancing the other day and found myself admiring Patrick Swayze's muscles - does this make me bi
29 Sophiemaltese : Barcode, I feel your pain, trust me. I often ask myself the same question. And it's not like I never get hit on either. I just don't find guys I'm rea
30 Bicoastal : Doomed? I'd say we're the luckiest group of men and women around. I love my freedom and have do desire for a long term relationship. Being single is b
31 STT757 : Restless soul, enjoy your youth. EV.
32 Mx5_boy : Guys, I just split with someone who was driving me insane with his hanger on friends (inlcuding the ex who has a set of keys to the house and turns up
33 Post contains images Seb146 : Mx5_Boy: My worst vice is I smoke. I don't drink, I don't hit, I don't even take aspirin! Wanna go to the zoo sometime? Anyway...... I agree with Bico
34 Mighluss : Let me explain my case... I'm a straight 26 years-old man, and in my whole live I had only a girlfriend for a few moths, but if I was gay (I had my do
35 707cmf : Mx5_Boy > you've just described me. 25, no smoking, always sensible when drinking (hey, I've got to drive home afterwards !), not on antidepressants,
36 Post contains images SunAir : The reason I think many of us (including me *sniff sniff*) are doomed to remain single is because we like a our own space too much (this would be me).
37 Srbmod : I have been single a long time, I have never really got into a serious relationship. Of course, I was doing things bass ackwards. When I was in colleg
38 Sophiemaltese : mx5_boy, I have a few male gay friends and I can sympathize. It is hard for them to really find a decent person to have a relationship with. Yeah, it'
39 Post contains images Ryanb741 : I'm not into one night stands, meeting people in clubs, or dating someone when they don't engage me on an intellectual/emotional level. So that prett
40 Barcode : ^ Well that makes me feel warm and fluffy inside :-]
41 Jcs17 : I'm scared...I'm a nineteen year old college student, who has recently thought to himself that being single isnt all its cracked up to be. I havent ha
42 Barcode : You're getting old. SophieMaltese: Well, if you ever change sides ... ;-] No, seriously ... you should be able to spot the gay guys by their impeccabl
43 Post contains images Superfly : Barcode: What you need is a Superfly in your life.
44 Barcode : Bah. What can a Superfly do that my vibrator can't ? Answers by e mail please. Wouldn't want to offend any other members here.
45 Post contains images Superfly : Barcode: A whole lot more. Email cumin' your way.
46 Mx5_boy : Barcode, All those beauty products that gay guys use? Well I for one am not quite as bad as you describe but I think many gay guys are seriously paran
47 Barcode : Have you tried avoiding the clubs and going to events like ... uhmmmm ... dinner parties ? Perhaps we can try and appear respectable and try to find e
48 Post contains images Mx5_boy : Barcode, 45 minutes to do his hair? I would spend maybe a minute. I rarely do the clubs, not my scene. Guess I am what you call non-scene type gay guy
49 767er : Mx5_boy, I think we need to take Barcode for an arvo of sly groggin' when she hits Sin City with that other 'girlfriend' of ours from A.Net. We can hi
50 Sophiemaltese : mx5_boy, what kinda guys do you like? You probably don't live near me but I know quite a few gay guys. Superfly, maybe we should have an a.net orgy. I
51 Barcode : Translate: Arvo of sly groggin' As for being interested, if I'm still celibate by the time I make it Oz then I'll settle for something that is breathi
52 767er : .Barcode: In Australian that means an afternoon of drinking. Sophiemaltese, sorry but both Mx5_boy live in Sydney which is a tad far from New Orleans.
53 Post contains images Superfly : Sophiemaltese: This 'orgy' would require your participation. It would be me, you, Barcode, RealHigh, VirginLover, Pilotica737 and Climbout.
54 Seb146 : mx5_boy: Why the violence against clowns? I completely agree with you but why? Sophie: If you know any guys willing to put up with my obsession with t
55 Post contains images Gr325 : Hey Barcode, Nice picture. Lukcy you that you have got to meet him. What is he like in real life. Different than on TV? (going a bit of topic here, bu
56 Post contains images Mx5_boy : Seb, Nice photo mate, I checked it out. Why are you single? (I think you look hot in that suit!) Why do I have clownphobia? Something to be explained
57 Jsmith : Barcode - I can attest to these sly groggin sessions mentioned by NZ767 and MX5, having partaken in such activity several times this year with these g
58 Mx5_boy : Jay, So long as you don't tell everyone about my penchant for miniature grog bottles and my pokemon booze cup. And No, I did not swig from a Johnny Re
59 Barcode : I find clows disturbing creatures too. Robert Beltran - very friendly, came and chatted to me for 30 minutes and bitched about Voyager. When he was do
60 Post contains images Sophiemaltese : clowns... definitely freaky...
61 Barcode : I'm traumatised by the entity on the right.
62 Post contains images Sophiemaltese : at least you didn't meet him in person. He's probably camped outside of my house right now as we speak in an old grey van with tinted windows. Here ar
63 Barcode : LOL !! The dude in the silver car resembles Superfly ( kinda ) .... hummmm, something we don't know about ? The guy on the left looks a bit .. well, f
64 767er : Barcode: Mx5_boy thinks he looks like Brenda Vaccaro but me and James reckon Dot Cotton!!!!!!!! Ignore his comments about me looking like Mildred Rope
65 Mx5_boy : Sophie, Ugh! I feel sorry for you, what cretins. Not sure why you allowed yourself photographed with that evil looking clown. Just beware of kreepy lo
66 Barcode : Is there photographic evidence of MX5BOY ? I can pass judgement on the look a like comment then ...
67 767er : Nah I don't think think there is a photo of Mx5-boy on a.net. Serioulsy he is nice looking Michael I no longer work for Biman as you well know!!! I am
68 Post contains images Mx5_boy : Barcode, Would you like me to e-mail you a picture? I do have a profile on a certain internet site. I don't look anything like Brenda Vaccaro, thank g
69 Post contains images Superfly : Barcode: The dude in the silver car resembles Superfly ( kinda ) Oh come on, I look way better than that guy!
70 Post contains images Mx5_boy : Superfly, How come you had to post the 69th message. Sheesh! LOL mb Beware the greasepainted side. Set fire to a clown wig today!
71 Post contains images Superfly :
72 Post contains images Lortab 7.5mg : Superfly, Have you noticed that blacks and Asians have the hots for Sophie. She has everything covered, both the long and short...um, never mind.
73 Jsmith : I have to agree with MB....Brent you will always be Bettina in our hearts. The ever faithful Biman employee - we love you. Fancy catching up this week
Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
Why Is It That Your Topics Are Printed In Bold? posted Sat Oct 13 2001 10:35:12 by Sin777er
Why Is It Unfashionable To Be A "Liberal"? posted Sat Nov 11 2006 05:13:59 by Singapore_Air
So why is it ok for Terri Schiavo to kill herself? posted Tue Oct 21 2003 17:15:49 by Galaxy5
Why Is It That Everyone Bashes The US But NO ONE.. posted Fri Dec 13 2002 16:19:43 by Ual747
Why Is The Price Of Oil Still So High? posted Fri Jul 7 2006 03:21:44 by MaxQ2351
Why Is It Always Termed "chemotherapy"? posted Sun Jun 11 2006 18:48:55 by Duke
Why Is It Called Gas? posted Sun Apr 30 2006 02:12:36 by RichardPrice
Is It Cold Where You Are? posted Wed Feb 1 2006 08:43:01 by ANCFlyer
The Closest Many Of Us Will Get To Getting A Girl! posted Mon Nov 28 2005 03:08:40 by SHUPirate1
Why Is It Cloudy In Dubai? posted Sun Nov 20 2005 13:36:24 by ACAfan