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A Little Advice For Everyone  
User currently offlineLubcha132 From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, RR: 7
Posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 1578 times:

As many of you remember from my exorbitant amount of depressing posts, i went through hell last year. Girl troubles and school led to depression...anyway, I'm still here. Shit happens to everybody. For instance, I got into a big fight with my best friend and now she doesn't talk to me. Don't care? No one does. It seems that people tend to lose concentration very easily. I could let this go to my head a lot and stop working and get depressed again. I also know that no one really cares, no one's life is affected by this and its my (and maybe her) problem. But I look around and see that life still goes on. I just started a new school and made a whole bunch of new friends since it started on Tuesday. If you're in school, or even if you work, don't let your socializing interefere with what is really important. You will always have friends; I'm sure people talk to everyone on this forum in their school/work environment. If something happens with friends, which is very understandably devastating, make sure you don't screw up your priorities and goals. Friends who treat you like shit are not going to help you get into a good school or a promotion.
As for boy/girl problems, there are plenty of fish in the sea. At an age like I am at (15 almost 16) I am not concerned about getting a girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I look at and think about girls all the time. But i know what getting in over one's head is like in these situations. Once again, one must always have one's priorities straight, because a 11th grade girlfriend (unless you get married yeah right) will not make you a partner at the firm nor will she get you into an Ivy League school.
Don't get me wrong its great to have friends and to be social in no way am i discouraging that. But don't get worried about friends too much in life.

Always remember that everything happens for a reason. Although last year was hell for me socially and educationally I got a new start this year in a school that i am very excited to be in that has some great people that i have already begun to make friends with

Hope this touches at least one person or makes someone think

Josh

17 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineHepkat From Austria, joined Aug 2000, 2341 posts, RR: 2
Reply 1, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 1517 times:

Being at such a young age, sometimes things can really get overwhelming. I remember going through similar things at 15/16. But looking back, I now realize that the thrills and ups and downs of the teen years PALE in comparison to what you'll experience in adulthood, and I'm only 26! Things have a way of appearing exaggerated through teenage eyes, but it's only because you're still trying to discover yourself and find your place in this world.

Like you've said, remaining focused helps you to not lose your way throughout all this. But the most important thing to realize, is that all of this is just a prelude to life. It might seem impossible now, or overwhelming, or you might feel like giving up, but trust me, you have to know and stick to your priorities and forget about the distractions.

Friends are great. They make you feel wanted, belonged, socially accepted. But nothing's worth allowing yourself to be mislead or mistreated. If your friends do these things to you, then they're not your true friends and you need to sever those ties. They're already plenty of people out there willing to acccept you for who you are and what you are without judgement. Just be patient - all good things come to those who wait, and I'm a living testament to that.


User currently offlineAA61hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 2, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1459 times:

lubcha, you suprised me... i wasnt expecting this kind of post from you at all. this is much different from you other posts, this post is definatly a mature post, and i wish some of the younger guys here could learn a thing or two from this. way to go man.. and dont get down on yourself, it happens to everyone...


Go big or go home
User currently offlineBigo747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 1416 times:

Looks like you're getting A+ for this "life exams"  Smile

User currently offlineIhadapheo From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 6027 posts, RR: 55
Reply 4, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 1420 times:

Lubcha, great post (proving why you have been a long time member of my respected user list), Since I'm continuing my own personal battle with depression your words are a nice reminder to keep on going, The daily doses of death and suffering can get you after awhlie (has it really been 12 years in the ER0.

But back to the point are you sure you are only 15, I think you have more maturity than many of the so called adults here (myself included sometimes) and in the "real world", oh well, thanks again for the super post.

Yours
Ihadapheo



Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
User currently offlineWestjet_737 From Japan, joined Nov 1999, 869 posts, RR: 6
Reply 5, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 1405 times:

Right on Lubcha! Great post. I have always felt that way about life as a teenager, it is just awesome to know that some other people feel the same way!

User currently offlineSaintsman From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 2065 posts, RR: 2
Reply 6, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 1365 times:

There's a song about life that sums up whats been said. A lot of the younger members may not have heard it. It's from Monty Python's life of Brian and if you're feeling down give it a play.

Here's the link:

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/bright.php


User currently offlineHeavymetal From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 1353 times:

Look at this sentence:

Don't get me wrong its great to have friends and to be social in no way am i discouraging that. But don't get worried about friends too much in life.

Now look at this one:

Don't get me wrong its great to _____________. But don't get _____________.


In your comment, you've come close to what I personally think might be the "secret of life".

Balance. Moderation. Reasonable conclusions arrived at in the middle by weighing both ends. Sometimes finding that balance can be a roller coaster ride. But in the end it's worth it. Your sanity will thank you.

Okay, zen moment over. Ohio State still sucks.



User currently offlineShawn Patrick From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 2608 posts, RR: 16
Reply 8, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 1341 times:

This is what I've been saying all along, and it's nice to know that there is somebody else out there that is actually planning for his future and not just living for the moment.

As Hepkat said, all this is just a prelude to life. When I start feeling blue, I remember to keep breathing and I think of what my life will be like 10-20 years down the road. If all works out correctly, I'll be flying cargo jets for the Air Force. I'll be traveling, making good money, sipping nice coffee at cafes, and have tons and tons of *real* friends. My life will be MINE! Right now I live in the oppression of high school and working towards college. It's not fun, and I'm not going to try hard to make it fun. I won't remember much of my high school years, and it probably won't be worth remembering. I mean, why would I want to remember working my ass off in school, running like hell (track/cc) after school, and having a minimal social life? Life sucks now, but here's how I look at it - it all gets better from here. That's the fire that keeps me going.

Regards
Shawn


User currently offlineSaintsman From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 2065 posts, RR: 2
Reply 9, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1291 times:

Shawn,

Sorry to say but you have to keep on working hard all through life. However, working hard brings reward and not just financially either. Hard work will bring respect from others but more importantly self respect. It doesn't matter how much money you earn or whether you fly jets or not. The fact that you know you are where you are because of your own hard work and you've done your best should be the fire that keeps you going.


User currently offlinePgh234 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 796 posts, RR: 1
Reply 10, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 1267 times:

I too agree with all of this Lubca. I am 17 and have gotten through my teenage years with nothing but my goals and aspirations in mind. When I have a fight with a friend or some other depressing aspect of life that always manages to come along, you just have to say "f' it" and move on. I realize that the daily events in high school are, in a few years, not important at all. Its great to have fun, its great to be social, but when life decides to screw you, just accept it and move on b/c there is nothing you can do about it.

pgh234


User currently offlineYHU From Canada, joined Jun 2000, 429 posts, RR: 1
Reply 11, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1260 times:

Although I agree with some of what you said, there is one thing I disagree with. You pretty much say don't let your friends get in the way of your job. To me, friends (good friends that is) are much more important than some job. A job should not be your life. A job is what you do (and hopefully something you enjoy doing) to give you the money to live. As many have said about life, "work to live, don't live to work".

It's true that school is a different story. As it should be a priority at the life stage you are now living. But don't take good friends likely. They are very important in life, and GOOD friends are not always that easy to come by.

Dave


User currently offlineDasa From East Timor, joined Aug 2001, 760 posts, RR: 6
Reply 12, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1254 times:

Very well said Lubcha, I can identify with what you said being 16 myself. However, I also agree with YHU in that good (and by that I mean really close) friends are essential. I have a few friends who are like family to me, and I would definitely put them before any job etc.

__________________________________________________________________
Das.A


User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11796 posts, RR: 15
Reply 13, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1251 times:

I have had a year of re-building also. I had forgotten how great meditating is until a few weeks ago, I got back into it. I seem to be taking life a lot better now. I had some stuff happen in this apartment that would have REALLY stressed me out, but I meditated, visited my nephews and now everything in my life is back on track.

I guess just to add to what Lubcha said: Don't lose sight of who you are and what you stand for.

And breathe.



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineTWA902fly From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 3129 posts, RR: 4
Reply 14, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 1229 times:

Lubcha you're good to realize all these things because there's some people to don't find those things out throughout their whole life. but you're 100 % right, no matter what happens to you, you still have yourself and your life goes on.

TWA902

ps talk to me online sometime... is your SN still the same?



life wasn't worth the balance, or the crumpled paper it was written on
User currently offlineLubcha132 From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, RR: 7
Reply 15, posted (12 years 3 months 2 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1212 times:

twa902 (and everyone else)

my AIM SN is still the same and i'm often around for a word or 2. same SN as a.net.


User currently offlineLubcha132 From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, RR: 7
Reply 16, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 1161 times:

"never grow tired of the routine that seldom changes"- Spymob

User currently offlineLOT767-300ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (12 years 3 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 1130 times:

"Okay, zen moment over. Ohio State still sucks. "

OMG dude I agree with you  Smile OSU must die!


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