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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?  
User currently offlineN751PR From Japan, joined May 2002, 1249 posts, RR: 1
Posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 1743 times:

Why did the chicken cross the road? Heres the answers from many famous people.

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.


PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real American take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side. That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?


Special thanks to Duberdurm of the AnimeNation forums for posting that!
http://animenation.net/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=1049284#post1049284



"Ladies and Gentlemen it's happy hour. You will get two approaches for the price of one."
13 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineIhadapheo From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 6027 posts, RR: 55
Reply 1, posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 1717 times:

DEEP THOUGHT
42

Yours
Ihadapheo



















Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
User currently offlineTrickijedi From United States of America, joined May 2001, 3266 posts, RR: 5
Reply 2, posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 1701 times:

hehe  Big thumbs up

The Dr. Seuss response was the funniest!  Smile



Its better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than be in the air wishing you were on the ground. Fly safe!
User currently offlineFSPilot747 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 3599 posts, RR: 12
Reply 3, posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 1690 times:

It doesn't matter WHY he crossed the road, what matters is that the chicken was Palestinian...and it was a TERRORIST...terrorist I tell you!


Signed,
Toda, Reisinger


User currently offlineH. Simpson From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 949 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 1683 times:

damn...another terriost...oops...i mean extremist

User currently offlineVictech From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 546 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 2 hours ago) and read 1659 times:

Here's three other good ones:

ACCENTURE, PLATINUM OR SAP R/3 CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Accenture (formerly Anderson Consulting), in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's physical distribution strategy and implementation process. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Accenture helped the chicken use it's skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of it's overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

ALAN GREENSPAN:
The inability of markets in predicting the future road crossing forces the Fed to raise it's prime interest rate by 0.25% in fear of changing bull markets to chicken markets.

RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.


User currently offlineJetguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 1654 times:

CHICKEN:
To prove to the possum that it could be done.


User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29795 posts, RR: 58
Reply 7, posted (11 years 11 months 2 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 1631 times:

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.


No that is incorrect.

If it was Ralphie, the chicken would have been hit by a Corvair, one of the most effiecient cars of the time. He would have written a book condemming it, forcing car manufactures to increase the size of their cars, which he would then also make a career of condemming also.





OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently offlineBR715-A1-30 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (11 years 11 months 1 week 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1620 times:

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?



Yes Colonel Sanders, You missed a whole bunch of them.


User currently offlineSSTjumbo From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (11 years 11 months 1 week 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 1582 times:

CHICAGO:
...to show the racoon that it could be done

TEXAS:
...to show the armadillo that it could be done

GARY LARSEN:
Why do you need a reason?


User currently offlineFDXmech From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 3251 posts, RR: 34
Reply 10, posted (11 years 11 months 1 week 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 1560 times:

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he got his d##k stuck in the chicken.



You're only as good as your last departure.
User currently offlineLortab 7.5mg From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 805 posts, RR: 11
Reply 11, posted (11 years 11 months 1 week 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 1552 times:

To get to the other side?

User currently offlineFSPilot747 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 3599 posts, RR: 12
Reply 12, posted (11 years 11 months 1 week 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 1535 times:

JOHN ASHCROFT

The chicken crossed the road, indeed..this obvious threat on America needs to be investigated... therefore im introducing a new bill..all chickens of Middle Eastern origin are to be locked up in pens............in Guantanimo Bay..."

-FSP


User currently offlineATCT From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 2285 posts, RR: 38
Reply 13, posted (11 years 11 months 1 week 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1484 times:

For all yunz Picksburghers out there.

"to show the Groundhog How"

-ATCT



"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney
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