I remember being punished as a child (my mother had a stick so she wouldn't hurt her hand) and although I wasn't smacked often I remember that I didn't like it and swore that I wouldn't hit any of my children. Well in the main I don't, but if they are particularly naughty they might get a tap. I usually use the fear of smacking to punish them. They get shouted at, which they don't like, and that usually does the trick.
So, what do you think? Personally I think that the occasional smack doesn't 'hurt'. Do you think that smacking should be banned? One other point, the shouting approach will probably be considered 'mental cruelty' by these do gooders shortly and that'll be wrong too.
Cfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 2, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 3014 times:
Unfortunately, the occasional spanking or slap is probably a good idea, if the kid has gone way over the line. Saintsman, you say you use the "fear of smacking" to punish. That's fine, but there won't be much fear for long if they see that you'd never actually do it.
My father smacked me maybe only 3 or 4 times in my life, but that did teach me that the line could only be stretched so far. 9V-SVA, you say that you will never do the same, and I said the same thing when I was a kid. But when I grew up I understood that he was teaching me the difference between bending a rule, for which you might get a warning, and actually breaking it. Well into my adult life now, I thank my father for making the difference clear.
Let's face it. Children are not very rational. You can explain things until you are blue in the face, and they will go on doing what they should not, especially if all their friends do it. It's the age of instant gratification, few morals, and, frankly, hedonism. If you don't teach them the difference between a minor infraction and a major one, their first lesson will be when they land themselves in deep trouble with the law, or they hurt someone throught their carelessness.
Rapo From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 395 posts, RR: 0 Reply 3, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 2969 times:
The word "smacking" brings the image of a a hard slap across the face to mind. This I definitely do not agree with. Though an occasional spanking is more than called for in cases where kids are disrespectful of authority or in cases of lying. I agree with Cfalk: kids by nature are not rational & sometimes need a corporal "attention getter". Following the punishment, when everything has calmed down, I think the kid is owed an explanation of just why he was subjected to the punishment, & how he can avoid it in the future. I think this is a good way of getting him/her to "put it behind them" & move on while still getting the point of their misbehavior. If the behavior improves, do something fun with them. This is how it was in our house when I was brought up, & how it will be when my boy (expecting him this January!!) is being raised. BTW, I have a great relationship with my parents today.
Saintsman From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 2065 posts, RR: 2 Reply 4, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 2947 times:
I know exactly what you are saying and in my view that approach works. The trouble is the do-gooders say that you shouldn't even do that. No corporal punishment period.
Beating children is another matter and I don't think that can come under 'punishment' no matter how bad they may have been. I'm sure there is a lot of the 'That's the way I was brought up and it never did me any harm' attitude. Doesn't make it right though.
There is the argument that it teaches kids that if you want to get your own way use force, but in my view you only get this if kids don't know the difference between right and wrong.
Jcs17 From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 8065 posts, RR: 41 Reply 5, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2929 times:
I would do it until the kid was around 6, because at young ages like that kids respond faster to physical punishment, whereas "sending a kid to his room" for punishment takes a lot longer to register with the kid. But, I am not talking about beating the shit out of the kid...Smack him on his back or ass using your hands...I would never smack my kid across the face or use a belt or a cane. I got smacked on the ass once in a while until I was 8, but it was only if I did something completely outrageous. And my mom has smacked me across the face a couple times in the younger years for cursing at her.
9V-SVA, I find it quite amusing that you agree with the topic "President Bush was dropped on his head as a baby"...and you were caned...LOL! Did your mom cane the intelligence out of you?
We're Nuts From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 5722 posts, RR: 21 Reply 6, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 2933 times:
Whether or not it should be illegal is not the point. Hitting your child is simply bad parenting. What kind of parent would beat his child for his own mistakes? I say if your kid does something wrong, it's probably YOUR fault. Use intellect to raise your children, not pain and fear.
EGGD From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2001, 12443 posts, RR: 37 Reply 8, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 2919 times:
I got smacked sometimes, ok it didn't stop me doing bad things, but I think its not going to change whether you turn out to be a good or a bad kid. I don't think the way you grow up is determined by how good your parents are, more like how good your parents genes are. Most of the time children just inherit bad behaviour from their parents. Or they get spoiled to death or not enough discipline.
Vickybiccy From United Kingdom, joined Apr 2002, 212 posts, RR: 2 Reply 9, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 2878 times:
I was given the occasional smack when I was a kid, and for me it was the fear of it that worked!
My father used to smack me on the wrist but, thinking about it now, it was never that hard! I think it was a short sharp shock to get me to behave! (I'd usually done something I knew was wrong anyway.
I'm kind of undecided on this because there are too many children that are abused and they desperately need to be protected from this. Also, if a child is hit repeatedly, the effect of being hit loses its fear factor.
On the other hand, the law would be VERY hard to police and in court, would the jury take the word of a small child. Also, there is a possiblity that a child would lie about being hit.
Brianhames From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 795 posts, RR: 2 Reply 12, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 2849 times:
Well I don't think you should "smack" a child, like across the face or anything. But dicipline is in order, and time out just won't cut it. By all means, pull that kids pants down and give that bum a good slap.
We're Nuts From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 5722 posts, RR: 21 Reply 14, posted (11 years 2 months 5 days ago) and read 2811 times:
Ok, let me ask you this. If it's my fault, what should I have done to prevent the bad behavior in the first place?
Most parents nowadays are more interested in their greedy obsessions than raising their child. It's almost as if the only reason they wanted kids was for the tax break. That's sad. And it's people like that, who have no idea how to teach a child, who resort to brutality.
N312RC From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 2679 posts, RR: 17 Reply 18, posted (11 years 2 months 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 2787 times:
It's not your business if I smack my kids. Smacking is not molesting nor is it killing, and it's been practiced for hundreds of years. Back in the sixties my father was smacked with paddles at school for pete sakes. He turned out better than you, obviously.
Vaporlock From Canada, joined May 2001, 3645 posts, RR: 57 Reply 19, posted (11 years 2 months 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 2754 times:
For all of us out there who have been parents.......we all know how children can "TEST" us.....for whatever reason.
This is just a little something that I came across a while back and it makes a lot of sense.
IF I HAD MY CHILD TO RAISE ALL OVER AGAIN......
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes, and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tigging.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love......
Vafi88 From United States of America, joined Apr 2001, 3116 posts, RR: 18 Reply 20, posted (11 years 2 months 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 2736 times:
And you wonder why American children often go *bad* for no reason...It's because the law forbids giving chilidren the fist...so they think they are safe from their parents...you go to other countries...and there aren't such laws, yes children often do turn bad...but it's because of the condition of the country (economy, ect.)
If I have children...I will most certainly spank them or punish them for being bad so they will learn to respect me....I'm not talking about Beating them up...just a good spanking will do just fine...
I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
ADG From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 23, posted (11 years 2 months 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 2697 times:
If one is to smack children, then where does one draw the line? Is hitting your wife then acceptable? How about kicking your dog when he digs up the garden?
The line has been draw. There is no comparison between disciplining a child and beating a wife. That's a silly emotive argument that holds no credibility.
I draw a very black line. If you use a weapon on your child (wooden spoon, strap etc), then you are abusing your child. If you hit your child anywhere other than the fleshy behind, then that's abuse.
If you hit your wife you go to jail, if you kick your dog you'll go to jail and if you beat your child you'll go to jail. But a simple smack on the behind every now and again teaches a child to behave.