Favorite Windoze game: "Guess what this icon does?"
Windows95 - crash compatible on Windows 3.x
Windows NT - Nice Try
Windows - a virus with mouse support
Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done
Windows vs OS/2 = Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson
The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it
displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.
Microsoft is not the answer.
Microsoft is the question.
"No" is the answer!
McAfee-Question: Is Windows a virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.
Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing
down the system as they do so - okay, Windows
does that.
Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard
disk - okay, Windows does that too.
Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user,
along with valuable programs and systems.
Sigh... Windows does that, too.
Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect
their system is too slow (see 2.) and the user
will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows,
too.
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences:
Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient
and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So Windows is not a virus. It's a bug.
Last words of a Windows user:
Why does that work now?
Where do I have to click now? - There?
Guess what this icon does...
Message box: "Data not completely delete? Yes - No" --- User: "No - ey - Yes"
Microsoft gives you Windows... OS/2 gives you the whole house
Some windows were made to be broken
Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at C:>
Data to Picard: "No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS!"
Bugs come in through open Windows
Windows '97 will also have artificial intelligence, e.g.:
Unable to FORMAT A: Having a go at C:
Can't Compress Hard Drive but don't worry I'll delete all files over size 50,000 that'll give you some space.
How do you make Windows faster? --- Throw it harder!
Windows95 is out! (PC Magazine, April 2013)
Windows95: New look, same multicrashing
Windows95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading
Windows95 - Every function is a restart function...
Windows95 does really have preemptive Multitasking: It can boot and crash at the same time.
Windows NT - Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty
Windows NT? New Technology? I don't think so...
Windows - Just another pain in the glass
Windows - Turn your Pentium into an XT...
Windows - The Gates of hell
Windows - From the people who brought you EDLIN!
Windows - a XT emulator for an AT
If Windows sucked it would be good for something
DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1
DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - A turtle and its shell
Windows Multitasking - screwing up several things at once
Windows found - remove? (Y)es (S)ure (F)ine (O)K
Windows has the ability to screw up 2 things at the same time!
If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse!
Microsoft's marketing: "Windows is SEMI-shareware"
Are you using Windows or is that just an XT?
Have you crashed your Windows today?
Relax... you are entering a windows free zone
OS/2... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates
New from McAfee: WinScan - Removes all Windows programs
New Windows 4.0: programmed in Turbo Logo++
My latest screen saver: Curtains for Windows
If Windows 95 doesn't start shipping soon, it might be Curtains 95.
Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile!
I'll never forget the 1st time I ran Windows, but I'm trying...
I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
I can't wait for EDLIN to be ported for Windows
Father, forgive me, I've been caught using Windows...
Exhibitionists love Windows
Despite my car having windows, it still isn't mouse driven!
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore...
Beat me, whip me, make me use Windows!
A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle
Difference between a virus and windows? Viruses rarely fail.
Newsflash: Microsoft announces Visual Edlin for Windows
Time on your hands? Get Windows!
Hiroshima '45 - Tschernobyl '86 - Windows '95
What's the best of Windows95? The deinstaller!
Why is the Pentium 166 so fast? - It's for booting faster, if Windows crashed again.
What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft? - One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs,
the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.
How many Windows PC owners does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, as long as you explain it's Plug'n'Play... they get
confused if it doesn't come with a driver disk...
How do Microsoft employees exchange a bulb? Not at all...
Bill Gates declares darkness as a standard.
Help! There are Windows everywhere! In my car, my house
Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I!
Mouse not present - click twice to continue...
Who the fuck is General Failure? And why is he reading my harddisk?
What's the difference between windows '95 and highly destructive unstoppable virus? About 90 Megs of hard disk space.
Coming soon: EDLIN for Windows
I've got two Windows hardware emulators! Really! They works much more reliable than the original: one for Windows 3.11, one for Windows95.
Unfortunately they have superscriped the emulator keys wrongly, so that on the Windows 3.11 emulator key "TURBO" and on the Windows 95 emulator is written "RESET"...
But doesn't matter, works great.
Windows, it's not pretty, it's not ugly, but it's pretty ugly.
Tbird From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 851 posts, RR: 22 Reply 1, posted (10 years 5 months 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 1098 times:
Some of those were really funny and all true, Windows sucks and Microsoft sucks. I just love the blue screen of death or as I call it the "oh s#$@ screen". Think about it, how many companies can get away with releasing a product they admit has bugs, security flaws, and stability issues? Just think if Boeing released a new product like Windows. Oh BTW ever use FS2K2? Let's not hope Microsoft is ever given the task of writing the software for a new Air Traffic control system, because I'll never fly again.
USAIRWAYS321 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 1806 posts, RR: 10 Reply 2, posted (10 years 5 months 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 1086 times:
Here's a little haiku:
Yesterday it worked
But now today it doesn't
Windows is like that
Ralgha From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 1614 posts, RR: 6 Reply 4, posted (10 years 5 months 4 days 19 hours ago) and read 1059 times:
I'd like to see you write a flight simulator that is comparable to FS2002. I loudly proclaim that FS is not accurate at all, but for what it is, it is a damn good program. As to the ATC in FS, do you have any idea how flipping hard it is to write something that requires adaptive responses like that? It works damn well for their first go round.
Jfwjxn From United States of America, joined Jun 2002, 85 posts, RR: 0 Reply 6, posted (10 years 5 months 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 1033 times:
That is hillarious! Windows is a sh!!ty program...choose the nice enviroment of Macintosh!
-------------------
Welcome to Heaven here is your Mac!-God (aka Almighty One, Allah)
Welcome to Hell here is your PC!-Devil (aka Lucifer)
Ybacpa From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1108 posts, RR: 1 Reply 8, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 963 times:
Windows 9x, 2000, NT, etc:
a 32 bit extension to a
16 bit application originally written for an
8 bit processor with
4 bit memory addressing by a
2 bit company that can't stand
1 bit of competition
SkyTeam: The alliance for third rate airlines finally getting their act together!
Tincan From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 224 posts, RR: 2 Reply 9, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 958 times:
Heh, go try Linux and see how you do, since you obviously can't run your Windows box too well.. well I won't say it.
XP and 2K are good and reliable, because they run on the NT kernel, I laugh at anybody that still runs Windows 98.
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