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Your Facts Of Life...?  
User currently offlineQantasAirways From Australia, joined Mar 2001, 1278 posts, RR: 3
Posted (11 years 9 months 2 hours ago) and read 1191 times:

Please share with me your facts of life or your words of wisdom...

Lets just say the words that you will be passing onto your children hehe  Big grin

QantasAirways


Spirit of Australia
13 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Reply 1, posted (11 years 9 months 1 hour ago) and read 1181 times:

1. Life is not fair.

2. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. But don't fight someone who is scared that your dick might be bigger than his, unless there is no way out for you, in which case you kick him in the balls. No asshole is worth going to jail for.

3. There is no such thing as a free lunch, unless you are a worthless lazy welfare recipient.

4. A woman who isn't good in bed is a woman not worth keeping.

5. You are not going to be rich by the time you're 25, unless you win the Lottery. We all "paid our dues" by working shitty jobs to get work experience and money. Work your way up.

6. Algebra, calculus, and trigonometry will serve absolutely no purpose in your life whatsoever, unless you become a building engineer or astronomer, and even then, the computers will do the work for you.

7. You don't see horses f---ing zebras. You catch my drift?

8. If you see something you want that will make you happy, and you can get it without doing anything illegal or immoral, GET IT. YOu can worry about the consequences later.

9. I don't care what any politician, school teacher, or anyone else says, there ARE absolute rights and wrongs. Anyone that believes in moral relativism is soeone for you to steer clear of.

10. Not to contradict myself with #9, but we all must respect everyones right to an opinion, even if the other persons is wrong. When disagreements escalate to belittlement and violence, then BOTH sides are wrong. If you can't reach an amiable conclusion, then agree to disagree and walk away.

11. Don't be a social conformist. Learn to think and act for yourself.

12. Vote in every election. Don't vote your conscience. Vote your brain and your wallet. God put your head above your heart and dick for a reason. And most of all, vote for who you feel is best, not who the "projected winner" is.

13. Obey the law, even if you disagree with it. If you break it, and get caught, you will have to deal with the consequences. Don't look to me or anyone else to bail you out of your self-inflicted jam.

14. No matter how sophisticated the woman you are dating is, she IS still a woman at heart. Bring flowers, open the door, and pay for her meal.

15. Respect your elders. Especially widows and orphans. You mess with them, and God will show you no mercy.

16. Always say "please" and "thank you".

17. You can get by on charm for about 5 minutes. After that, you better know something.


And the most important one of all is the rule for all ages:


"Treat everyone else the way you want to be treated.



User currently offlineMandala499 From Indonesia, joined Aug 2001, 6872 posts, RR: 75
Reply 2, posted (11 years 9 months ago) and read 1176 times:

1. Life's sh1t, but it's the only one we have, so make the best of it.

2. Life is like a river we have to cross... the problem is, the river is not one of water but sh1t... Our challenge is to cross the river with the least amount of sh1t stuck to us when we reach the other side.

3. Never think it can get anyworse, it will... all you can do is hope for a better day.

4. We do not inherit the earth from our forefathers, we're merely borrowing it from our grandchildren.

5. Before you decide to be religious, be a good person. Otherwise your zeal will be in vain as God will laugh at you.

And following #5...

6. Be a good person, because, if you happen to be in the wrong religion, you got your good behaviour to weigh your life with...

Mandala499



When losing situational awareness, pray Cumulus Granitus isn't nearby !
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Reply 3, posted (11 years 9 months ago) and read 1168 times:

18. Keep your ears open for new music. But never forget the beat of the old classics.

19. Always listen to your mother. When you're 5 years old. When your 15 years old. When you're 30 years old. When she's on her deathbed.

20. Book smarts is not a substitute for street smarts or common sense. Being a whiz at Flight Simulator does NOT make you a pilot. Only time and experience will make you wise versus smart.

21. If a woman can't or won't cook for you at some point, then forget about her.

22. If you are caught in the middle of a love triangle, let the other guy take her. It means that she is not loyal to you. Even if you win round one, you'll still lose because she WILL cheat on you eventually.

23. (For a future son) I know how life works. When you are 14 you will get a lock for your door and a subscription to Playboy. Also with that in mind, you will not leave the house until I know that you have condoms in your posession. When you're 16, you will be treated to a weekend at Mustang Ranch. Some facts of life cannot be taught by the father.

24. Never take credit for someone elses achievements. Never let someone take credit for YOUR achievements.

25. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. In order to get a good woman, you will need to pay for it. Love alone isn't going to cut it when it comes down to birthday/anniversary presents, and-if the time comes-a wedding and a house and family. Women are "gold diggers". That's fine. But they have to earn it. Don't buy her a new car on your 1 month anniversary. If you don't want to pay for it, then you're going to have to settle for some fattie with a face that looks like she kissed a beehive. Get the best looking (and acting) woman you can get. Get someone that will make your parents proud.

26. The end never justifies the means if it involves lying, cheating, or stealing. Even lying on a job application WILL catch up to you and bite you in the ass eventually.

And last, but not least:

Keep your eyes, ears, and mind open at all times.


User currently offlineQantasAirways From Australia, joined Mar 2001, 1278 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 1122 times:

Ooh.. long reading hehe  Big thumbs up

I hope your passing them all onto your children

QantasAirways



Spirit of Australia
User currently offlineBlatantEcho From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1913 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 1103 times:

It doesn't matter what you've done
or where you've gone
but how you're who you are
when you're here.

-Timothy Grover


Best sumnation of advice ever



They're not handing trophies out today
User currently offlineAMSMAN From Ireland, joined Jan 2002, 1016 posts, RR: 6
Reply 6, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 1079 times:

My GM told me this:

- It takes less effort to do something right the first time than to do it wrong twice.

True actaully



Aer Lingus, Proud to be Irish.
User currently offlineOvelix From Greece, joined Aug 1999, 639 posts, RR: 3
Reply 7, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 1065 times:

Never blame a person for something he cannot possibly change on himself.

Idiots are not responsible for their condition.

Idiots tend to team up and support each other so be careful.

Whoever deals with shit he ends up dirty. And smelly.

Books can never teach you wisdom.

One woman is never better than two women.

Never let your mind speak for your heart. Never let your heart speak for your mind.

You are never too old to learn new things.

The smallest the dick the bigger the car.

Grow smart. If you cannot, grow strong. If you cannot, grow rich. But never let yourself grow illiterated, weak and poor.

This is not mine but it is my favorite:

"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will die. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. In Africa it doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

Kostas


User currently offlineSushka From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 4784 posts, RR: 14
Reply 8, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 1062 times:

Whoever wrote that doesn't know that Lions don't kill every day, more like once every few days.


Pershoyu Spravoyu Litaki!
User currently offlineBlatantEcho From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1913 posts, RR: 1
Reply 9, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 1042 times:

Sushka-

Are you trying to tell me, that over the entire African continent, everyday, the sumnation of the entire population of ALL lion prides will coordinate themselves and their hunger and opportunity to catch prey in such a manner that dictates that certain days, hunting and catching prey are to be avoided?

With this coordination, only on, say tuesday and friday of the coming week will it occur to EVERY SINGLE LION to hunt for food?

You should read many of the above pieces of wisdom, many seem to apply to you personally. Or you could just stop being a smartass.



They're not handing trophies out today
User currently offlineSushka From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 4784 posts, RR: 14
Reply 10, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 1042 times:

Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death

This is refering to one lion not all lions.
I was only kidding. I guess I have to add the little (  Smile )



Pershoyu Spravoyu Litaki!
User currently offlineBlatantEcho From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1913 posts, RR: 1
Reply 11, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 1040 times:

you're still a smartass for that response, but at least I undertand what you're getting at now  Smile

George



They're not handing trophies out today
User currently offlineAA61hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 12, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 1033 times:

my fact of life:
Nothing will ever go according to plan. Plan accordingly.



Go big or go home
User currently offlineMx5_boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (11 years 8 months 4 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 1033 times:

Matty,

Cripes your a miserable son of a bitch sometimes...

Do you masturbate with bloody barbed wire?

Everyone,

It's very simple, treat others as you would like to be treated yourself, but beware of those that will take advantage of you.

And as my mother once said to me, if you can't be good be clever..

mb

mutilate a mime


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