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Simplifying English Language  
User currently offlineSonic From Lithuania, joined Jan 2000, 1670 posts, RR: 1
Posted (11 years 8 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2652 times:

Well, I think a time has came to simplify this language  Smile/happy/getting dizzy .

OK, firstly, we spell letters "q" ("queen"), "k" ("kilometer"), "ck" ("jack") and "c" ("colt"), also "ch" ("character") almost the same in some words. So, let's in all cases from now on instead of these letters write a letter "k", since it is only letters from the mentioned ones to describe only that sound. Then, remove "h" from places where it is not said (like "hour", from now on to be written just "our", "when" - just "wen"). Were "c" or other letters sounds as letter "s", let's change them to "s". If letter "e" in the ends of words is unspelled, just skip it. In plases were "g" and "j" sounds the sam (lik words "gym" and "july"), us "j" only, leaving "g" for words lik "Garry". Us letter "i" only instead of "ea", "ee", etc. in words were this sound is heard (lik "i" in "lick" and "ee" in "sheep"). After this, let's us letter "u" instead of "a", "o" in words lik "glass", "done", living "a" for words like "name". Then, us always "e" instead of "ea", "a" in words were it is heard like "e" in "bed". Wat els is still not dun? Well, ther still ur thos unoying dubl letters. Let's stop using them. Also, "o" still has 2 prunonsations: lik in "also" and in "stop". So let's now use "ou" olways for "also" tip of prononsation. Insted of "tions" just us "shns". Liv leter "i" for words lik "live" and us "y" in words lik "bite". Drop leter "r" were it is not nided. Insted of "aight" lyk in "straight" us "eit", insted of "ought", lyk in "bought", us "ot", insted of "ought", lyk in "enough", us "uf". Doun't u think it is inuf? Y doun't. Leter "u" stil hes two prononsashns: on lyk in "universe" end the uthe lyk in "undying". Just us "u" fo words lyk "undying" end us "iu" in uthe words. Alsou, chanj prunonsashn of ending "ease" to "iz". Chanj "uege" (like in "languege") to "wej" OK, now it is probubli inaf, but Inglish langwej is stil not simpli inaf thus pliz sei iur uthe sugeshns...

12 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offline707cmf From France, joined Mar 2002, 4885 posts, RR: 29
Reply 1, posted (11 years 8 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2645 times:

iu kept ze dubl leter L in ze word 'stil'

Antoine, wou transleted zat text oanse in French


User currently offlineMbmbos From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2597 posts, RR: 1
Reply 2, posted (11 years 8 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2644 times:

Very funny.

I remember an English professor giving us the following word to pronounce:

Ghoti

Can you pronounce it? Using the byzantine rules of the English language, this can be pronounced so that it is a very common word.


User currently offline707cmf From France, joined Mar 2002, 4885 posts, RR: 29
Reply 3, posted (11 years 8 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 2639 times:

goatie ?

goatie filled by goatie


User currently offlineAerLingus From China, joined Mar 2000, 2371 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (11 years 8 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 2629 times:

To simplify the English language would be to basically re-germanicise it. A lot of the wierd language quirks (or kwerks) come from the fact that there was a very open exchange between England and France in the past. Both languages "corrupted" each other. Were it not for the numerous French elements, English would be a primarily Germanic language.


Get your patchouli stink outta my store!
User currently offlineMbmbos From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2597 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (11 years 8 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 2625 times:

Fish.

"gh" as in "enough"
"o" as in "women"
"ti" as in "motion"


User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 6, posted (11 years 8 months 1 week 11 hours ago) and read 2605 times:

A lot of the "strange" spellings have come about through changes in pronumciation. If you go back about four or five hundred years, many of the words were pronounced as spelt. Spelling didn't keep pace. Equally, the strange construction of words was due to the fact that English didn't so much pick and choose from its source languages, but compound them. Hence, we have a few words from Celtic, and many words from Anglo-Saxon that form the basis of the language. When the Vikings arrived, "Danish" (for want of a better word) was integrated into English, but it didn't replace any of it, it was merely added. Words that had the same meaning, like "job" and "skill" both stayed, but developed subtly different meanings. When the Normans invaded, English went underground, but as Norman French diverged from French French, English re-emerged with a new layer of Norman words. The Latin scholars then introduced further words into English in the Middle Ages.

This process of course continues. English has many words from Arabic, the various Indian languages and even Chinese, as the British went round the world. The rise of the US and also Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and subsequently countries like India itself added more to the mix. Ultimately, English is a bastard langauage from multiple sources, and so you have spelling that is all over the place, and grammar that doesn't obey any firm rules.

On the plus side, you have the largest, most expressive language on earth. Simplifying it, as many have tried to do, almost always ends in failure.



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineJwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 18
Reply 7, posted (11 years 8 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2576 times:

We're all becoming a German colony in the EU anyway so why not just abandon English and all turn to speak German now?
Solves a lot of headaches for pupils who now have to learn multiple languages  Smile/happy/getting dizzy and helps the integration into a big German Empire too  Smile/happy/getting dizzy



I wish I were flying
User currently offlineAviatsiya From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (11 years 8 months 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 2559 times:

Jeroen

Of course the EU is basically becoming German, which is why the EU announced this a while ago...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union (EU) rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish":

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgracful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!


User currently offlineJwenting From Netherlands, joined Apr 2001, 10213 posts, RR: 18
Reply 9, posted (11 years 8 months 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 2557 times:

Zat's indiet vat Ai hat in meint, mei Frent.


I wish I were flying
User currently offlineSleekjet From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2046 posts, RR: 21
Reply 10, posted (11 years 8 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 2553 times:

One of the more fascinating derivations has to do with the word "bedlam", which comes from "Bethlehem", an old English insane asylum, whose screams and cries relate to the present-day word.


II Cor. 4:17-18
User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11657 posts, RR: 15
Reply 11, posted (11 years 8 months 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2532 times:

Sup, yo?

U don think it chagnin now?

It too hard now.

I don wanna git wi' dat sh*t from france or wha'eva, aiit?

 Insane






Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineTurbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1
Reply 12, posted (11 years 8 months 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 2522 times:

I'm using Maltese pronunciation rules for the word 'ghoti'.
That would make it AW tee. I believe it actually exists in Maltese, derived from the verb 'ghata', to give.

Talk of complicatedness! English spelling is not half as difficult as all the mute sounds you get in Maltese which you have to write, and some sound alike so you don't know which one to choose! There was a heated discussion in the newspaper some time ago about a road sign which asked people to stay on a certain part of the road. On the sign, the command (singular) of the verb 'qaghad' (to stay) was given as 'ghoqod', which means knots. The correct spelling would be 'oqghod'. Both are pronounced the same way... AW - odd. The dash sound would be something like the last 't' in cockney English 'that'. Someone suggested writing the plural form instead, and spelt it out as 'oqghodu'. A furious professor from the Akkademja tal-Malti responded that the correct spelling is 'oqoghdu'.

Now tell me what's complicated! And i'm sitting my Maltese exam in May...


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