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Let's Make Fun Of Ourselves: Airliners.net Therapy  
User currently offlineUal747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 1615 times:

Hey all,

I've been thumbing through a lot of threads over the past few weeks. I find it amazing how a topic such as, "My Dog ate Rat Poison" can turn into something like, "America is the death of us all, and those damn Jews in Israel are dumping sewage on the Palestinians while Bush is busy bombing the shi'ite out of Iraq and taking all the world's oil supply and dumping it into the Gulf of Mexico because the US rejected the Kyoto treaty, which in turn harmed the Australian coral reefs which pissed off the Australians and caused Qantas to quit service to LA, and made them buy Airbus which is obviously better than Boeing because American products are cheaply made by helpless Chinese children who work in sweatshops because America's human rights record is the worst in the world. And lest we forget, Bush is going to start WWIII because his IQ is that of a monkey's, infact, he does look like a monkey, here lemme post a picture. While we are at it, lets call him Dubya man. Infact, lets call him that in every post, because it is SOOO funny and people will never get sick of hearing him called Dubya man. What a great new name I came up with. Also, you Americans are so stupid in your bright clothes, loud voices, and ignorance about other countries, no wonder people hate you and your president. We also hate you because you have caused every conflict or war in history. If it wasn't Pan Am starting WWII, it was American troops that put Jesus Christ on the cross by order of George Bush Jr., which is something that the American's should have finished when George Bush Sr. was in office, but they were only after Jesus's oil. Filthy American's, you should be ashamed of your country and of your all mighty Boeing junkliners....."

Or such topics as, "September 11 was what caused the US to go to war in Iraq and if you think otherwise you are stupid because we saved your asses in WWII and you should be on your knees perfoming any sex act that we ask you to, and if you don't agree to do so then hows about the US closes its boarders and doesn't trade with the rest of the world, then you'll see how bad it is without us, and then you will have to live in your communist and socialist countries without coca-cola or mcdonald's and you will miss our starbucks and microsoft. While you are sipping on your terrible european espresso we will be coming up with new ways to make the world a better place and to rid the world of tyrants like saddam hussein and Jaques Chirac. You just don't understand the hurt that we went through during september 11, and if you don't agree thats fine, but god will make you rot in hell, especially because you are queer and aren't southern baptists you pagan euro-trash. You are so stupid because we all know that Connie Chung is the foremost expert on international politics and you better believe anything she says, because america will prevail and it is you scum of the earth Euro's who will be kissing our asses for all time because you wouldnt even be there if it weren't for us. And BTW, your Fagbusses are crap. How stupid you are to make it all fly-by-wire, lest we forget that one scarebus that crashed. Stupid Euro-trash airplane maker."


Anyway, I've just noticed how we waste SO much energy on straying from topics. You don't know how pissed off I get when I see anti-american stuff, and I get even more pissed when I hear Aviatsyia speak about Americans. And I get even MORE pissed off when he is right! (Don't get mad Aviatsyia, but I just couldnt help it. wink  Wink/being sarcastic. but then I think to myself, jesus phil, its only a damn website. Just one's and zero's patterned just the right way. (However sometimes they pattern in ways that get me totally pissed).

Well, I think it's time for some Airliners.net therapy. We act like a huge dysfunctional family. So in this thread we should have some fun. We are always finding ways to attack others as shown in how topics turn into attacks, so how about we make fun of ourselves. I'll start first.


UAL747: An emotional basket case who constantly talks about his rehab experience and has posted about 122 threads about being gay, coming out, or the trials and tribulations of being a homo. He get's pissy when people attack the United States, so he desperately tries to defend his country and when he fails, he justifies his failure in argument because he is Gay and the world hates him for it.

21 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 51
Reply 1, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1586 times:

I like peanut butter.


An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineLHMark From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 2, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1568 times:

That was funny.

I had a four hour detention.

BTW, if I ever come to decide that I'm gay, you guys are probably not the people to whom I'll first come out.

UAL747, I haven't used the respected user button for a while, but I'm gonna.



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 51
Reply 3, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1559 times:

On toast. Or just on regular bread too, it doesn't matter. Jif is the best.

By the way UAL747, you're smart. And sexy. And funny. And really, really gay.


But Jesus loves you anyway.



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineLHMark From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 4, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1559 times:

Although my car looks really dumb in it's new livery.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineJetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 11
Reply 5, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1555 times:

LHMark, NWA colors don't look good on a Vega anyway. Damn, talk about a bowling-shoe.


"Shaddap you!"
User currently offlineUal747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1554 times:

Why thank you TWfirst; however, I'm less gay than I say I am....

Kind of like saying "Im not gay, but my boyfriend is"

UAL747


User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 51
Reply 7, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1547 times:

No, don't fool yourself. You're really, REALLY gay. I mean ultra gay. I mean, like, mega gay. I mean, SO gay, that you're just... like, the gayest. Even gayer than me. Now THAT'S gay.


Sometimes, I even like to cook with peanut butter. It's a lifestyle choice, but there's nothing wrong with it - Jesus liked to cook with peanut butter. His favorite sandwich was peanut butter and figs. Peanut butter adds a peanutty flavor to soups, sauces, desserts. Just about anything.

I like to think of the Southwest livery as "shades of peanut butter"...



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineLHMark From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 8, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1544 times:

It's been my experience that peanut butter makes everything taste thai. Except chocolate.

And it's NOT a Vega! It's a Monza. Sheesh.



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 51
Reply 9, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1542 times:

Robert Smith likes peanut butter too.


An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineLHMark From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 10, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1540 times:

But only if it contains chunks of sadness.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 51
Reply 11, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1539 times:

...and mascara.

The end.

Love and kisses, TWFirst



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineStretch 8 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 2568 posts, RR: 16
Reply 12, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1473 times:

I think this thread counts as the first actual "virtual circle jerk."


Maggs swings, it's a drive deep to left! The Tigers are going to the World Series!!!
User currently onlineN766UA From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 8272 posts, RR: 23
Reply 13, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1464 times:

Careful with the Smith jokes, TWFirst.

That said- I have a very generic last name.



This Website Censors Me
User currently offlineTurbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1
Reply 14, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 1451 times:

Turbolet is a pitiable character who constantly posts patriotic slogans about his counry, a very tiny European one of about 385000 inhabitants. Also, he is a rather annoying activist for the rights of homosexual and bisexual (like himself) people. No wonder he's not very popular...

Oh, and by the way:
Viva Malta! We might be small, but we're proud!



User currently offlineIHadAPheo From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 6027 posts, RR: 55
Reply 15, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 1449 times:

IHadAPheo = Bumpy and Proud !!

Yours,
IHadAPheo



Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
User currently offlineWe're Nuts From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 5722 posts, RR: 19
Reply 16, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 1443 times:

Sen. We're Nuts thinks that he is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. Unfortunately for him, he's wrong. Let's get down to business: Not only does he push all of us to the brink of insanity, but he then commands his cronies, "Go, and do thou likewise." This is partly connected with what I wrote earlier concerning the most disruptive prigs I've ever seen. Interestingly, he doesn't seem to care about that.

While I think that he has every right to his asinine, caustic opinions, he says that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world's people are all thoroughly justified. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that his bromides are Right with a capital R. The primary point of disagreement between myself and We're Nuts is whether or not his method (or school, or ideology -- it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "We're Nuts-ism". It is a perfidious and avowedly belligerent philosophy that aims to concoct a version of reality that fully contradicts real life. He is a drooling, hydra-headed monster of force and terror. Am I aware of how We're Nuts will react when he reads that last sentence? Yes. Do I care? No, because whenever anyone states the obvious -- that if he were to scar little children's self-image, it would be a grave insult to everyone who devoted his or her life's work to helping the less fortunate -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "Do logorrheic twerps like his allies actually have lives, or do they exist solely to help hideous fugitives evade capture by the authorities?" A complete answer to that question would take more space than I can afford, so I'll have to give you a simplified answer. For starters, if you don't think that he should stop playing verbal games and tell us what he really means, then think again. Many the things I've talked about in this letter are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them, because sometime soon, Sen. We're Nuts's lies will be exposed and the truth can be spread.




Dear moderators: No.
User currently offlineGotairbus From Singapore, joined May 2001, 851 posts, RR: 1
Reply 17, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 1413 times:

Ok, Nerusan, knowing yourself is everything: For every 500th post, you gets a friend. This is about much friends as you could possibly get because you are a loner for several reasons. Not a "loner", but a loner, possibly because of the excruciating pain you would experience having some "authoritative figure" churn out an insult the size of a 15 line paragraph that would ultimately end peace all over the world if you were Earth itself. I would then see you sulk and whine about how he would wished you could change the scar inflicted on yourself because in the too-simplistic minds of young and old alike, it is said that a "loner" is a loner and that people think that it would be easier to discard those extra quotes [ " " ] around the word loner because:

a) It is (ridiculously) very simple to do and will not carry any overhead associated by further examination of the topic and answer given.

b) They think you simply display the actions of a loner as these actions are found on some "Ways to insult Nerusan" checklist being strategically constructed from, who knows where, maybe the small sunken island of Atlantis perhaps?

(BTW, you have the freedom to replace "loner" and loner with any other insultive word)

Until now, that "Ways to insult Nerusan" checklist has been used for no reason, whatsoever, for the sole purpose of either "because I was chillin' with my homies", or for the purpose of inventing the next catchy phrase that would involve him in it.

Until now, people have been abiding to that checklist which ultimately would give reality a definition that you would not even dare define. The whines and vexes of individuals against you are part of their checklist that is believed to reserve peace and positive energy for themselves only. In some cases, it would suck the good power out of you so that they could use it for something bad. The bad part is, you learnt your life-skills from your own people and was taught that the dreaded checklist didn't exist.

To counteract the effects of the dreaded checklist, you employed a puppet version of reality that would correspond with what was actually normal -- specifically, reality without a checklist. This also suggests that he does try to bring back peace and safety just like before -- just like any competantleader would do: by either sorting things out with the stubborn opposite, or forcefully disarm them of their cling to an un-needed power (specifically, the checklist).

Reality is reality...it does not come with something else extra that is undeniably there.

Nerusan...I really do think you need to tell yourself to shape up, just like the completely greedy-for-power people would want you to do. Just do not conform to the checklist: it is not a standard, nor an approval; it is there so that people can suck the life out of you till there is no drop available to run away from the mass hysteria.

(gotAirbus?)



(gotAIRBUS?) - (Got Commonality?) - (Have A Nice Flight!)
User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11660 posts, RR: 15
Reply 18, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 1374 times:

Okay, so we have had a few members letting us know they are deleting themselves, and a few other members bashing the bis/gays...... Isn't it time for a group of members to 'come out'?


Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11660 posts, RR: 15
Reply 19, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 1369 times:

Also, I am not into politics, who has the better country or anything like that but seeing some of the threads on here reminds me of the comic Non-Sequiter. The girl, Danae, is sitting in front of the computer watching a chat. 'Blather, Blather, Blather, Blather, Blather......' She types in 'Blither' there is a pause and the response is 'EEEK!! How dare you take such an arrogant position! I must now shout you down with moral indignation! Blather is the only way! BLATHER! BLATHER! BLATHER! BLATHER! BLATHER!' She comes back and says 'Don't you just love the intellectual stimulus of the internet?'


Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineNormalSpeed From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 1333 times:

NormalSpeed,

The kid is listening to Journey's "Someday, Love Will Find You," and isn't sure how to react. In his mind, he has alternating thoughts: Someday, love will find you: "How soon?" and "What a horrible thing to say!" are his two answers to the phrase.

But the kid is finally growing up, and primarily focuses on the "how soon" component of his reaction. The fact of the matter is that he isn't getting any younger, and has "party-ed" and "hung-out" and "dated" enough to know that he's getting bored with it. "There's got to be something more fullfilling than this!" He knows what that thing is, but is sometimes reluctant to face it. It's sort of like stepping into an outdoor hot tub in the middle of winter. His feet are soaking in the warm, bubbleling water, but his brain is still screaming "you can't take your shirt off, it's freezing out here!" Best to just jump in. A happy marriage is what you make of it, right?

"Who's Crying Now?" Who indeed! There's so much miscommunication in the dating world. And if us guys and the girls could ever get on the same page, now that would be a miricle. Maybe that's why the kid is so in awe of people with relationships--seeing a truly happy one is like seeing planets align. "Dazed and Confused." Exactly.

But this time is different. The kid is up to the wazoo in options. There are so many girls around that he's not quite sure where to start. "A" - she's a great girl, cute, always happy. "K" - mischievious, attractive, smart, adventurous. "B" - Downright serene, deep, talented, would be a great mother, and a trusted companion. "M" - deep, caring, exceedingly fair.

"Hold on loosely, but don't let go." That's the answer! It helps to believe in a fate of sorts, or perhaps divine intervention--what is supposed to happen will, if we do not loose faith. Thanks to .38 Special.

"So caught up in you." That's how it will be.



User currently offlineNormalSpeed From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (11 years 7 months 3 weeks 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 1327 times:

NormalSpeed, Part II

He worked so hard on his CFI that now he doesn't know quite what to do with himself. He spent most of the day wandering the house looking for something to do. Had no plans for the evening, because his plans with "K" fell through. Bummer.

Watched the first part of "Almost Famous," because he's told that he looks like the leading actor. He does. Played every computer game that he has, including Hearts and Solitare. Bored.

"Frankenstien" - Decided that his greatest accomplishment of the day is finally tuning in the presets on his stereo. He now has access to two classic rock radio stations, two alternative radio stations, a smooth jazz station, a hair rock station, and a rap station at his fingertips. What power!

Can't wait for tommorow - church. Not always the most exciting thing, even for a highly religious kid like him, but at least it's something to do!

Also, monday is when the great search for employment as a CFI will start. Good stuff.

(Please, no more Hart! And Shaniah Twain (if that is her real name) belongs nowhere near an alternative radio station).

Speaking of "K", the 'Speed was at her apartment the other day. Her roomates were talking about "breaking him in." That's a good sign. Also, the roomates were making disclosures about other guys they liked. Also a good sign--subtley letting the kid know that "K" was the girl that he should be focusing on. Ahh, college town roomate dating ground rules. You can only date one girl per apartment-full. It gets messy otherwise.

"Black" - from Pearl Jam--a great song. Reminds him of his younger, carefree days. Ahh, to be 15 again--and the only care being where he would go backpacking next. Gone forever. Sad. Just like this "Black." Reminds him: Needs to pick up the CD version of "Ten."

"Dirty Deeds" [done dirt cheap].

Was in the canyon yesterday. Drove to Tibble fork reservoir. The surrounding high peaks were raking the wind into ariel mayhem, ripping the bypassing clouds to shreds. Witnessed his first helicopter landing at the lake. Someone was sledding, and managed to injure themselves severely. Airmed came. He's sort of glad Lifeflight didn't come--the grief is still to near. Lifeflight lost a ship two weeks ago in dense fog. One person out of three survived. The Airmed ship was a Bell Jetranger. Landed in an insanely narrow clearing of trees. Though they'd land in the snowmobile staging parking lot across the lake.

[NormalSpeed ponders his aeronautical future--wants to do something to help others out, but doesn't want to die trying.]

'Speed


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