Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Paddys War  
User currently offlineSilverfox From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1058 posts, RR: 0
Posted (11 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 594 times:

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when
his telephone rang. A heavily Irish-accented voice said, "Hello, Mr Hussein.
This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to
inform you that we are officially declaring war on you."

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news. How big is
your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me
cousin Sean, me next-door neighbour, Seamus, and the darts team from the
pub. That makes eight of us."

Saddam paused, then replied, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one
million men in my army, just waiting on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

The next day, Saddam's phone rang again. Paddy said, "The war is still on,
Mr Hussein. We have managed to acquire some armoured equipment."

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" asked Saddam.

"Well," Paddy replied, "We have two combines, a bulldozer and Murphy's farm
tractor."

Saddam sighed, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armoured personnel carriers. I have also increased the size of my army to 1
½ million men since we spoke yesterday."

"Saints preserve us," said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

The next day, Paddy rang again. He said, "Mr Hussein, the war is still on.
We have managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified Harrigan's
ultra-light and fitted it with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit and four
of the boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well."

Saddam was silent for a moment and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
compounds are guarded by laser-guided surface-to-air missiles. Also, since
we last spoke I have increased my army to 2 million men."

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Paddy exclaimed. 'I'll have to call you back."

The following day, Paddy called again. "Top o' the morning to ye, Mr
Hussein," he said. "I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call
the war off."

"I am sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well, said Paddy, "we've all had a long talk over a few pints down at the
pub and we've decided that there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."



1 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineSilverfox From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1058 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (11 years 5 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 588 times:

ROMANCE MATHS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman =
affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb
employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss +
dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1
for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A
successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him
a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a
lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she
does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a
man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to
come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,
"You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals.



Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
Blair For The High Jump Over Iraq War? posted Sun Jun 21 2009 05:28:08 by NAV20
Iran: On The Verge Of Civil War? posted Mon Jun 15 2009 07:56:45 by Falcon84
Life In Lebanon During Civil War posted Tue Mar 17 2009 11:56:42 by Sonic
China .. World War II posted Tue Mar 3 2009 13:22:00 by AGM100
Obama "Unlikely" To Widen The Afghan War posted Sat Jan 31 2009 17:37:53 by StasisLAX
Saying Goodbye To War On Terror posted Fri Jan 16 2009 05:54:25 by Baroque
“Joe The Plumber” Now “Joe The War Correspondent” posted Wed Jan 7 2009 12:32:40 by Mortyman
830 Bilj $ So Far, The Price For US Iraq War posted Sat Dec 27 2008 04:27:26 by SAS A340
How Can India Win Its War On Terror posted Thu Nov 27 2008 08:31:39 by HAWK21M
China Ahead In Cyber-war Technology.. posted Thu Nov 20 2008 22:38:11 by Beaucaire