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Ten Signs Your Airline Is In Trouble.  
User currently offlineAvt007 From Canada, joined Jul 2000, 2132 posts, RR: 5
Posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 2283 times:

1: Management decides it's time for a whole new paint scheme and "corporate image".

2: Management starts making tours of bases, saying everything is fine.

3: They use the phrase "one time expense" when explaining losses.

4: You get a letter extolling the virtues of a share purchase plan.

5: Senior managers decide to "pursue other interests".

6: Human Resources puts on "dealing with change" seminars.

7: HR distributes the seniority list and asks everyone to make sure it's accurate.

8: The water cooler and free coffee disappears.

9: The guys you've worked with for ten years are suddenly interested in your start date.

10: The sports section isn't the most popular part of the paper anymore.

Any others?

23 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineYyz717 From Canada, joined Sep 2001, 16248 posts, RR: 56
Reply 1, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 2260 times:

How about:
11. Carl Icahn's name is in the visitor's log at HQ reception,
12. Frank Lorenzo is seen having lunch with the CFO,
13. The airline decides to switch from a Boeing fleet to an Airbus fleet (I'm kidding),
14. The airline orders both the 73G and the A320,
15. The airline begins a low-cost "lite" subsidiary,
16. Customers provide feedback that Ryanair has better inflight service,
17. When getting bumped up to first class is more of a hassle than a gift,
18. When the CEO talks about ordering the 777 soon when the largest aircraft currently in your fleet is the 737-200.





Panam, TWA, Ansett, Eastern.......AC next? Might be good for Canada.
User currently offlineB747-437B From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2229 times:

19. Its name is United.

User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2242 posts, RR: 14
Reply 3, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2214 times:

20. When your airline's website has a news release on its main page.


"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 35
Reply 4, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2221 times:

Hey, it may sound funny but I actually use the "No more coffee service" as a yard stick. Every airline I have ever worked for that went under, about 6-12 months before going bye-bye, stopped the office coffee service "to cut costs". Its kind of my barometer for how things are going...

A few others...

Maintenance is unable to get spare parts for the aircraft (have to rob the inbound aircraft to complete the check on the outbound aircraft).

Ground crews cannot get the ground support equipment repaired.

Company demands that all employees attend classes in resume development (they actually did this at PA about 4 months before we went under).

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
User currently offlineJcs17 From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 8065 posts, RR: 39
Reply 5, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2203 times:

21. Your F/A's and pilots overnight at the airport, often sleeping on the same benches as stranded non-revs

22. Leasing companies meet your aircraft at the gate more often than baggage handlers.



America's chickens are coming home to rooooost!
User currently offlineGoingboeing From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 4875 posts, RR: 16
Reply 6, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2199 times:

23. The captain has to pay the fuel bill with his Exxon card.

User currently offlineAvt007 From Canada, joined Jul 2000, 2132 posts, RR: 5
Reply 7, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2191 times:

24: Another true one; Strangers with measuring tapes show up at the hangar, muttering "do you think the tail will fit throught the door?" to each other.



User currently offlineMarcus From Mexico, joined Apr 2001, 1790 posts, RR: 2
Reply 8, posted (11 years 5 months 3 days ago) and read 2171 times:

25.- Meals are no longer served but the ticket price remains the same......oh wait! nevermind.


Kids!....we are going to the happiest place on earth...TIJUANA! signed: Krusty the Clown
User currently offlineAWspicious From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2150 times:

26. They eliminate the olive from your martini.

27. During turn-arounds, the flight crew instruct the groomers just give it a lick and a promise


User currently offlineArsenal@LHR From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 7792 posts, RR: 20
Reply 10, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2140 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

28. When your in-flight service is rated lower than Ryanair's. Embarrassment



In Arsene we trust!!
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 35
Reply 11, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2120 times:

How about...

They remove one olive from the salad, just to save money...

They stop providing hot, moist towels in First Class....

They eliminate meal services altogether and try to emulate successful airlines

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2242 posts, RR: 14
Reply 12, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2098 times:

32. They start showing color test patterns on the PTVs


"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlineVictech From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 546 posts, RR: 2
Reply 13, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 2096 times:

They start showing color test patterns on the PTVs

Oh, I dunno, that might be an improvement over some of the other stuff they usually show on the IFE... Big grin


User currently offlineAvt007 From Canada, joined Jul 2000, 2132 posts, RR: 5
Reply 14, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 2082 times:

They announce that your airline is taking over its' biggest competitor.

User currently offlineTu154m From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 682 posts, RR: 5
Reply 15, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 2054 times:

They are US based.
S



CEOs should swim with cement flippers!
User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29795 posts, RR: 58
Reply 16, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 2029 times:

34.....You Just know you would get in trouble if you gave in on 35, 36 and 37.


OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently offlineDc10guy From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 2685 posts, RR: 6
Reply 17, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 2009 times:

#35 you get a letter from the CEO telling you how your pension plan has been "enhanced"....(ATV007 your one about the hanger is too real to be funny)


Next time try the old "dirty Sanchez" She'll love it !!!
User currently offlineJm-airbus320 From Jamaica, joined Aug 2000, 304 posts, RR: 0
Reply 18, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 2011 times:

When you non rev tickets cost nearly as much as regular ones.

Jm-airbus320


User currently offlinePositive rate From Australia, joined Sep 2001, 2143 posts, RR: 1
Reply 19, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 2007 times:

37: When your airline is taken over by Air NZ

User currently offlineTsv From Australia, joined Nov 1999, 1641 posts, RR: 5
Reply 20, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1996 times:

Top marks for that one Positive rate!!!



"I told you I was ill ..." Spike Milligan
User currently offlineSrbmod From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (11 years 5 months 2 days ago) and read 1985 times:

38. When the company that provides uniforms won't yet you get new ones through payroll deduction.

User currently offlineJhooper From United States of America, joined Dec 2001, 6204 posts, RR: 12
Reply 22, posted (11 years 5 months 13 hours ago) and read 1955 times:

39. The airline takes steps to "more closely align its ticket policies to reflect the value realized as passengers purchase different fares."


Last year 1,944 New Yorkers saw something and said something.
User currently offlineBNE From Australia, joined Mar 2000, 3183 posts, RR: 12
Reply 23, posted (11 years 5 months 10 hours ago) and read 1939 times:

40. They stop serving meals on flights.
41. The insurance company won't even honour any of the tickets that the airline is selling.
42. Their competitor doesn't even want to buy them for $1.00
43. They say that they have enough cash reserves to see out any short term committments.
44. The airlines logo appears with other now defunct airline logos. Airways May 2003 Page 57.



Why fly non stop when you can connect
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