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Dinner Table Incidents  
User currently offlineADG From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 879 times:

Hmmm.. this one is a true story.....

Mother in law, mother and daughter(15yrs) sit down to a seafood meal. Mother looks at daughters plate and says "daughter has crabs", to which mother in law responds "divorced father in law gave me crabs once (and we're not talking seafood here).

 Wow!

big of a conversation killer I understand....




ADG

13 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineSaintsman From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 2065 posts, RR: 2
Reply 1, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 853 times:

Q. what's the difference between crabs and lobsters?

A. Crabs walk sideways.

F**k me! I've got lobsters!


User currently offlineAC320 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 852 times:

On my "first date" just a few weeks ago while taking the lovely lady to dinner, I became suddenly ill with a stomach virus that was making the rounds of Ft. Lauderdale, and spent the entire meal evacuating my stomach's contents in the bathroom. Not quite as, um, interesting as that tale but it was indeed a conversation killer.

User currently offlineADG From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 847 times:

was there a 2nd date?




ADG




User currently offlineAC320 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 846 times:

There will be  Big thumbs up she took care of me till I was well enough to go home.

PS- she like planes. We have a keeper!!


User currently onlineCPH-R From Denmark, joined May 2001, 5998 posts, RR: 3
Reply 5, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 838 times:

Hmm... That can't be! Are you sure "she" is not really, oh, I don't know, KROC in disguise Big grin  Nuts  Laugh out loud

User currently offlineGDB From United Kingdom, joined May 2001, 13206 posts, RR: 77
Reply 6, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 819 times:

Anyone seen the camply outrageous UK 'chat show' hosted by Graham Norton?
He starts with getting audience members to reveal sordid or disgusting secrets.
One guy had given his Mother crabs!
(He had them, rubbed his privates with a bathtowel, neglected to wash or burn it, Mother came along and used it).


User currently offlineAA61hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 7, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 804 times:

I farted sometimes at the table, and my mom would say "what the hell is wrong with you?" And I would show my mom my food, and she would say "you act like an animal"
I know real mature, but I always give my mom a hard time.



Go big or go home
User currently offlineRoyalDutch From United States of America, joined Mar 2001, 917 posts, RR: 3
Reply 8, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 786 times:

We were all sitting in the cafeteria trying to choke down the food, and one guy starts telling stories about his summer job castrating sheep...tearing their genitalia off with pliers and such...that sure made me give up on the food altogether...

User currently offlineADG From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 774 times:

At work we take turns in going and buying donuts, the other day (it was the "girls" turn) and I was supposed to drive the preggers girlie to the shops. Unfortunately it was the same day I discovered that the kids hadn't bothered removing 2 kilos of raw chicken thighs from the boot 2 days before that.

Phewweeee

Obviously she couldn't get into the car without






ADG


User currently offlineAA61hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 10, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 770 times:

ADG-You said the chicken was in the "boot" whats the boot?


Go big or go home
User currently offlineADG From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days ago) and read 768 times:

boot translates (i think) to *trunk*




ADG


User currently offlineAA61hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 12, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days ago) and read 768 times:

Thats what I figured. Yeah we call it a trunk.


Go big or go home
User currently offlineTbar220 From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7013 posts, RR: 25
Reply 13, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 6 days ago) and read 761 times:

My parents had some guests over for dinner one night. My dad was being a clown, and pretended to be serving the food like he was in the army, taking a spoonful of mashed potatoes, and slopping it down on the plate real fast. Well he goes around to this other guy's plate, scoops up some mashed potatoes, slops it down....and completely missed the plate!! The guy now had mashed potatoes in his lap!

Now these two were good friends, so they were laughing it up, but my mom certainly wasn't happy about that  Laugh out loud



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