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A Milestone In A Mans Life.  
User currently offlineAvt007 From Canada, joined Jul 2000, 2132 posts, RR: 5
Posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1424 times:

Recently I reached a milestone, a defining point, a watershed event in the onward growth of myself as a man.
Did I get married? No.
Did I graduate from university? No.
Did I lose my virginity? No. (Not last week anyway)
No, I reached that day that every father dreams of from the moment his son is born: I TAUGHT HIM HOW TO USE THE LAWN MOWER!  Smile  Smile  Smile  Smile  Smile  Smile  Smile  Smile
Woohoo! I felt like dancing through the streets. Oh happy day! Hang in there, guys, your day will come. I'm off to crack a beer in celebration.


20 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineJcs17 From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 8065 posts, RR: 39
Reply 1, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1390 times:

I dont know how to use a lawn mower.  Sad


America's chickens are coming home to rooooost!
User currently offlineIlyushin96M From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 2609 posts, RR: 12
Reply 2, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1394 times:

I remember when my dad taught me to use the lawn mower. It was the old-fashioned push type, and rusty to boot. That POS was the most difficult tool to use - stubborn and didn't cut the grass right on the first pass, so it always took two mowings to get it right. After coaching me a couple of times, my dad left me to it, and I began to hone my gardening skills.

My dad surely had a celebration the day he passed the lawn-mowing chore onto me.  Big grin


User currently offlinePPGMD From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 2453 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1387 times:

So a milestone is when you can pass the yard work off to your son. Sounds like slave labour to me.  Smile


At worst, you screw up and die.
User currently offlineAvt007 From Canada, joined Jul 2000, 2132 posts, RR: 5
Reply 4, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1382 times:

Think of it as a downpayment for services rendered (by me)  Smile

User currently offlineIlyushin96M From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 2609 posts, RR: 12
Reply 5, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1379 times:

Avt, just remember about not having to mow the lawn when your son starts asking you for car keys.  Big grin

User currently offlineIHadAPheo From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 6027 posts, RR: 55
Reply 6, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1372 times:

Ah yes but.... just remember soon he will be making deals to use the car etc.. if he mows the lawn, yes the joys of fatherhood are many. At least my daughter ia atill only 2 so I still have a few years untill I have to worry anout lawn mowing or her discovering boys (or boys discovering her)

Yours,
IHadAPheo+anMI

(I hope you have a riding mower for your son)



Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
User currently offlineDeltaASA16 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1374 times:

My mom insists she has to cut the grass cause "She's just as good as any guy at cutting grass." So...My dad lets her! She sweats bullets in the humid summer afternoons while he enjoys life!  Big thumbs up


DeltaASA16


User currently offlineBeefmoney From United States of America, joined Oct 2000, 1118 posts, RR: 4
Reply 8, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1359 times:

Its a little known fact that 98% of the world has Lawnmower Incompetancy Syndrome. These poor people, mostly in third world countries with poor medical care, have the inability to properly use and operate a standard mower. Its so sad.

But with your help, and a donation of 50$, we can wipe out L.I.S. in our lifetimes!  Smile


User currently offlineIMissPiedmont From United States of America, joined May 2001, 6327 posts, RR: 33
Reply 9, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1359 times:

What's a "lawnmower?"


Damn, this website is getting worse daily.
User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11760 posts, RR: 15
Reply 10, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1340 times:

This is why I live in an apartment!

GO CANUCKS!!



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineXFSUgimpLB41X From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 4224 posts, RR: 37
Reply 11, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1335 times:

I mow the lawn in just as perfect rows as my dad, with just as good accuracy..but he still insists on doing it. oh well!  Smile


Two pilots in the house= two big egos, haha. We're both the best of the best!



Chicks dig winglets.
User currently offlineFlyf15 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1335 times:

I like mowing the lawn. Am I some kind of weird alien mutant or something?

Its great to be outside, its great exercise, and you get that "job well done" feeling when you're done.


User currently offlineIllini_152 From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 1000 posts, RR: 2
Reply 13, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 19 hours ago) and read 1319 times:

No, you're not the only one, I used to LOVE to mow the lawn (I NEVER just cut the grass, it was much more than that!). I could take pride in how green and well kept it looked, and it was a way me and my old man bonded.

Of course, my little brother got canned from the job 3 times, and I ended up doing it because I enjoyed it, go figure. I'd still do it to this day, if I was at home. Now my 18 year old brother does jack shit and sits on his ass while my mother has to run the whole show on her own... .

--
Mike




Happy contrails - I support B747Skipper and Jetguy
User currently offlineVictech From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 546 posts, RR: 2
Reply 14, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 17 hours ago) and read 1301 times:

I got out of lawn mowing pretty easily--I have asthma, so I couldn't get anywhere near cut grass..."doctor's orders!"

User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29813 posts, RR: 58
Reply 15, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 16 hours ago) and read 1288 times:

You know it probably would have been cheaper to get a couple of sheep rather then have kids.

They work for free, keep it nice and even, and automaticly fertilize as they go allong. Also if they become extranious, you just send them off to the mutton plant.

Kids wine, cry, have band camp, need to be taken to soccer camp....Just to much work.




Seriously though. I felt the same way about shoveling my driveway....But rather then go out and knock up some broad, I bought a Snowblower instead. This fall however the gods where against me and we never got enough snow to where I could actually run the thing.



OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 47
Reply 16, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 11 hours ago) and read 1270 times:

No HERE are the Major Milestones in a mans life:

Your first kiss
Your first lay
Your first drunk
Your drivers license
Your first job
Your first car
Your graduation day(s)
Your first place on your own
Your first house
Your wedding day
Your first child
Your first suit
Your first bottle of vitamins
Your first glass of Milanta
Your first root canal
Your first bottle of Preparation H
Your first pair of reading glasses
Your first Barcalounger
Your first Senior Discount

After that, who cares?


User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 1249 times:

What's a "lawnmower?"

Some Mexican who makes sure that my grass doesn't grow too tall.

Signed, Matt D


User currently offlineIHadAPheo From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 6027 posts, RR: 55
Reply 18, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 1225 times:

Is Matt D's list in chronological order??

Signed,
Larry Eustachy



Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
User currently offlineTurbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1
Reply 19, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 1208 times:

Good thing we don't have a lawn  Laugh out loud

User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 47
Reply 20, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 1211 times:

Some Mexican who makes sure that my grass doesn't grow too tall.


And don't you forget it.



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