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You Might Be A Redneck Pilot If...  
User currently offlineNicolaki From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 1360 times:

your stall warning horn plays "Dixie"
your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points
you've ever used moonshine as avgas
you have mud flaps on your wheel pants
you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight
your toothpick keeps poking your mike
you constantly confuse beechcraft with beechnut
just before inpact your heard saying "Hey yal, watch this"
you have a blach airplane with a big "3" on the side
you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer
you use a Purina feed bag as a wind sock
you wouldn't be caught dead flying a Grumman "Yankee"
you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy"
there's a sign on the side of you aircraft advertising your septic tankservice.
You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.
You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
You consider anything over 100"AGL to be high altitude flight.
There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
You use your parachute to cover your plane.
You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.
Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, y'all watch this!!

23 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1300 times:

Jetpilot how many of these do you do?  Big grin
Iain


User currently offlineTWA From Iran, joined Sep 2010, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1289 times:

Hahahahahaha, This is soooo funny!!! Lets hear some more.

TWA


User currently offlineBlink182 From Azerbaijan, joined Oct 1999, 5480 posts, RR: 15
Reply 3, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1284 times:

Your probably a redneck if your christmas tree is still out in February- Jeff Foxworthy.
All of those are funny! Big grin Big grin Big grin
rgds,
blink182



Give me a break, I created this username when I was a kid...
User currently offlineRealHigh From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 1022 posts, RR: 15
Reply 4, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1276 times:

 Laugh out loud  Laugh out loud  Laugh out loud

Those are real funny!

That almost sounds like a Dg_pilot!
LOL Laugh out loud


User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29791 posts, RR: 58
Reply 5, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1272 times:

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

If you have ever bragged about the new Goodyear "Mudripper" tires on you aircraft. Then you might be a redneck.



OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently offlineMx5_boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1267 times:

As a child your nick was DG_pilot....

lol

mb


User currently offlineXFSUgimpLB41X From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 4190 posts, RR: 37
Reply 7, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1259 times:

If you have one of those Airbus/Boeing Calvin's peeing on Airbus/Boeing logo stickers on your window.




Speaking of this....man those cropduster pilots are psycho's....i see them ducking under powerlines and all kinda of crap all the time. They have some skills.



Chicks dig winglets.
User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1254 times:

I asked a CFI about becoming a crop duster and he said, to be a crop duster you need your commercial and balls the size of coconuts!!
Iain


User currently offlineNicolaki From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1253 times:

My groudschool instructor also talked us about Cropduster and he said these pilot really had guts big time! Flying so low and doing very steep turns at low altitudes.

Nicolas


User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39693 posts, RR: 75
Reply 10, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 1251 times:

You pass out chewing tobacco on your flights instead of pretzels.  Smile


Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29791 posts, RR: 58
Reply 11, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 1225 times:

Got another one.....

If your airplane is built from parts leftover from more then three airplane wrecks.



OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39693 posts, RR: 75
Reply 12, posted (13 years 5 months 2 weeks 3 days ago) and read 1222 times:

You have Bush/Cheney bumper stickers on your wings and a confederate flag on the tail.
LOL  Laugh out loud



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineAn-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3950 posts, RR: 41
Reply 13, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1187 times:

...If your name is George W Bush Big grin


Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
User currently offlineDerek H From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1185 times:

.......You've ever flown into FSD.

User currently offlineDG_pilot From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 856 posts, RR: 2
Reply 15, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1181 times:

--If you have ever raped a dingo...oops, what a minute, that is called being Australian....

-Dustin


User currently offlineUs330 From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 3866 posts, RR: 14
Reply 16, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1174 times:

No offense to the Aussies, seeing how I don't agree with his statement, but, DG Pilot, may I say that was great! I laughed so hard that I almost hyperventilated.

User currently offlineDG_pilot From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 856 posts, RR: 2
Reply 17, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1173 times:

Glad you enjoyed some of my humor. I just couldn't resist it....

-Dustin



User currently offlineDeltaRNOmd-80 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1171 times:

I dont think they even have to rape the dingos-- Hell, when they see Brissie or Mx5_Boy running after them anymore, they just give up.

User currently offlineDG_pilot From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 856 posts, RR: 2
Reply 19, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1167 times:

LOL!!!!!

User currently offlineFP_v2 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1164 times:

Thats some funny sh**t!!!!!!

User currently offlineMx5_boy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 1164 times:

Don't be silly Dusty Wusty, no-body rapes dingo's, didn't you know they EAT people...?... Tsk Tsk.

Deltadoll,

Just coz the kids at school told you to run down the street with suasages around your neck so maybe the dogs would play with you....

lol

(I lurve your kreepy photo's.. ruff ruff)

lol

mb (*Dusty that was amusing!*)



User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29791 posts, RR: 58
Reply 22, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 16 hours ago) and read 1146 times:

If you are upset Holly and Edelbrock(Spelling??) don't make accessories for your Lycoming O-235





OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
User currently offlineL-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29791 posts, RR: 58
Reply 23, posted (13 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 16 hours ago) and read 1145 times:

Your airplane is painted with the same sparkly paint that they used on your brand new bass boat.


OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
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