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One-Liners: Best And Worst.  
User currently offlineCancidas From Poland, joined Jul 2003, 4112 posts, RR: 11
Posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 1872 times:

What are the best, worst, favourite, despised one liners you've heard? And do say if they make you feel  Pissed , or  Confused, or  Yawn.


"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
20 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineBigPhilNYC From United States of America, joined Jan 2002, 4077 posts, RR: 54
Reply 1, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 1870 times:

I hate this. When you're asked about 'em, you cna never remember them. lol




Phil Derner Jr.
User currently offlineBlatantEcho From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1922 posts, RR: 1
Reply 2, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 1851 times:

hey baby........are those space pants? cuz your ass is outta this world.


*sigh*
George



They're not handing trophies out today
User currently offlineAerLingus From China, joined Mar 2000, 2371 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 1844 times:

Think it's bad now? Just wait...this cold sore is just gettin' started.


Get your patchouli stink outta my store!
User currently offlineBigPhilNYC From United States of America, joined Jan 2002, 4077 posts, RR: 54
Reply 4, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 1841 times:

I dont think he meant pickup lines. I think he meant jokes like "I was thinking about shaving my head and telling people that I dyed it clear."


Phil Derner Jr.
User currently offlineAerLingus From China, joined Mar 2000, 2371 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 1834 times:

Oh...
In that case, a computer beat me at chess once but it was no match for me at kick boxing.



Get your patchouli stink outta my store!
User currently offlineSrbmod From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1792 times:

Rectum, damn near killed him!

User currently offlineN202PA From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 1562 posts, RR: 3
Reply 7, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1787 times:

So, a baby seal walks into a club...  Big grin

User currently offlineAIR757200 From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 1579 posts, RR: 7
Reply 8, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1781 times:


I was waiting at the check out line at Target and an employee or something comes up, smiles.. stands next to me.. then asks the forbidden.................

"What kind of gel do you use!?"

I look at him... "What?" (what I was really trying to say was: What the Hell?) No wonder your hitting on guys if your using pick-up lines like that with girls and it hasn't gotten you anything!

Stalker.


User currently offlineCedarjet From United Kingdom, joined May 1999, 8197 posts, RR: 54
Reply 9, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1779 times:

Contradictions:

I would never exaggerate in a million years.
I would never patronise you; I presume you know the meaning of the word?
Pretentious, moi?
Military intelligence
Military music
Socialist Worker.



fly Saha Air 707s daily from Tehran's downtown Mehrabad to Mashhad, Kish Island and Ahwaz
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 1776 times:

"Hey baby. You have a real nice jaw line. Yeah, it'll line up real good with my nuts!"

User currently offlineCancidas From Poland, joined Jul 2003, 4112 posts, RR: 11
Reply 11, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1763 times:

Pickup lines too. Ladies?


"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."
User currently offlineBigPhilNYC From United States of America, joined Jan 2002, 4077 posts, RR: 54
Reply 12, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1760 times:

We already have a thread for that running right now though.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

All fromt he man, Steven Wright.

http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html

Kind of the one-liner.



Phil Derner Jr.
User currently offlineCharleslp From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 336 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1737 times:

"Now let's you just drop them pants."



User currently offlineBOAC From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 77 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1720 times:

Pick up lines :

Get your coat - you've pulled


User currently offlineTriscl From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 138 posts, RR: 0
Reply 15, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1714 times:

liquor? I hardly know her.

you decide if that's best or worst.


User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11800 posts, RR: 15
Reply 16, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1713 times:

BigPhil: LOL Steven Wright is THE MAN!!! The tone of his voice makes those one-liners even funnier!

I usualy just end up telling punch lines to jokes. Not the whole joke, just the punch line.

'We just came off of Route 140.'
'We come not to praise your berries but to sieze them.'

GO CANUCKS!!



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineCharleslp From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 336 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 1679 times:

Dude! You're gettin' a DELL!!

User currently offline727_Gal From United States of America, joined Sep 2002, 325 posts, RR: 2
Reply 18, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1667 times:

"I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jacknifed on the Santa Ana. You should see my shoes."

- Chevy Chase, Fletch


User currently offlineMSYtristar From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1642 times:

Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!

User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2254 posts, RR: 14
Reply 20, posted (11 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1615 times:

"Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."
-Confucius



"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
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