A man accused of having sex with a sheep used in a Charleston funeral home's nativity scene has struck a deal with Kanawha County prosecutors that allowed him to stay out of jail.
Joey Armstrong, 30, claims that the stigma of the charges has made him an outcast at the homeless shelter where he now resides.
GDB From United Kingdom, joined May 2001, 12701 posts, RR: 80 Reply 9, posted (9 years 10 months 5 hours ago) and read 4710 times:
Recently a work colleague was out in the evening at a restaurant, at the bar there was a stuffed sheep, which he called 'A Welsh Leisure Centre', turning to a guy next to him he asked "your not Welsh are you?'
"Yes" came the reply.
Then there is this old joke;
A TV crew were making a documentary on life in the farming community in the Outer Hebrides, off the Scottish coast.
They spoke to a prominent local farmer, had he a nickname, like Jock The Farmer or something?
"Funny you should say that" he replied. "see all that land? I farm that, but do they call me Jock The Farmer? No they don't
See that barn over there, I built that with my own bare hands, but do they call me Jock The Builder? No they don't.
Who delivers all the milk that I produce to the village? I do, in all weathers, but do they call me Jock The Milkman? No they bloody well don't.
See those old Roman built walls? who shows tourists around them, explains the history behind them? I do, but do they call me Jock The Tour Guide? No they don't.
I shagged just one sheep!"
MxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 40 Reply 14, posted (9 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 4561 times:
To become an outcast at a homeless shelter is to really hit rock bottom!
Like shagging a sheep wasn't "rock bottom"???? Actually, the reason he shags sheep is because cows are too large to reach around and kiss!
MxCtrlr
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.
DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
767ALLTHEWAY From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 659 posts, RR: 0 Reply 17, posted (9 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 4546 times:
THat is absolutley disgusting, Must have been one mmmaaaaaaddddly deprived maaan if it haaaad to come to thaaaat.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear"
A ventriloquist noticed a farmer tending to his animals and decided to have some fun.
Ventriloquist: "Excuse me. Are those your horses"?
Farmer: "yyyYep!"
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to them?"
Farmer: "Hell, horses don't talk!"
Ventriloquist: "Hello, horses. Is the farmer good to you?"
Horses: "Yep. He feeds us all we can eat. He provides a nice barn to protect us, and we get to run and play on the farm".
The farmer, obviously puzzled, just stares at the ventriloquist. So, the ventriloquist asks: "Those your pigs?"
Farmer: "y-yep."
ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to 'em?"
Again the farmer insists: "Boy, pigs don't talk!"
So, the ventriloquist addresses the pigs: "Hello, pigs. Does the farmer treat you good?"
Pigs: "Yep. He feeds us well. He provides us with shelter when the weather is bad. We can laze about in the mud all day. We're happy here."
By now the farmer is scratching his head. Talking horses. Talking pigs. WTF?!!
So, then the ventriloquist notices the sheep. He asks the farmer if he can talk to them. That's when the farmer stammers out "Th-Th-THEM SHEEP AIN'T NUTTIN BUT LIARS!"
Redraider From United States of America, joined Oct 2000, 531 posts, RR: 2 Reply 21, posted (9 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 4493 times:
Gig 'Em!! WHOOOOOOOOOPPPPPP.
My wife can't wrestle, but you should see her box.
Learpilot From United States of America, joined May 2001, 814 posts, RR: 1 Reply 22, posted (9 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 4476 times:
Did he have the sheep at the ledge of a cliff so it would push back?
Heed our warnings or your future will be underpant free!
An-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3950 posts, RR: 45 Reply 23, posted (9 years 9 months 4 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 4472 times:
I am sure he got off, alright.
Alex
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
EA CO AS From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 12556 posts, RR: 64 Reply 24, posted (9 years 9 months 4 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 4433 times:
C'mon now, I'm sure he was only helping that sheep over the fence...
"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan
25 Boeing4ever: Must have been a Welshman. Of course I know a Welsh Girl in my High School, and I must say, I can't blame 'em for going with sheep! B4e-Forever New Fr
26 L-188: Wasn't getting off the whole purpose of the excersice to begin with?
27 Buckfifty: No one has mentioned the rights of the sheep in this thread. The poor thing. Scarred for life...
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Actually, the reason he shags sheep is because cows are too large to reach around and kiss! 
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