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Really Really Bad Drug Problem...no, Not Me..HELP!  
User currently offlineVafi88 From United States of America, joined Apr 2001, 3116 posts, RR: 17
Posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 1564 times:

I have a friend, that used to be straight edge like me, and over the summer he tried smoking weed, and is now hooked on it...He does it 2-3 times a day...Yeah, a day. Now, I don't care if my friends do it a few times a week, but this it too much... A little info on my friend : He had a 4.0 GPA all 3 years of middle school and his freshman year of high.... And then this summer he has picked it up.. His parents suspect, but have no evidence or anything, so they really can't do anything.

Now, my premier options are 1) beat him up so bad that he's fallen completely apart (while he's smoking) and drag him to his parents with evidence....And 2) just go over there to his parents and just tell them with no evidence...

The problem: I don't want to beat him up because he is my friend, and I don't want to pussy my way to his parents and just tell on him...

Oh.. And I tried talking to him several times about it.


HELP!!!!


I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
25 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineBR715-A1-30 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 1561 times:

Vafi88, I know how you feel. I have a friend who is in the same situation. She used to be great, but her boyfriend got her to try weed, and now she is letting her life fall apart. I wish I could help her, but I tried as hard as I could. Finally, her and her boyfriend moved somewhere, and I gave up. Probably wasn't the right thing to do, but I got tired of wasting my time when I knew she wouldn't change.

I do wish you the best of luck. Weed is very addictive (Moreso than cigarettes).


User currently offlineMBMBOS From United States of America, joined May 2000, 2597 posts, RR: 1
Reply 2, posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1555 times:

First of all, are you sure it's a problem for him? You mentioned that he has had good grades in the past. Has his G.P.A. declined? Is he driving recklessly? Is there any indication that his pot smoking has caused emotional suffering?

Pot smoking is nothing like heroin or cocaine use in terms of the damage that it causes or its addictiveness. A lot of kids go through a pot smoking phase and eventually tire of it and give it up.

I suppose it's never good for somebody to find a chemical sort of escape and to habituate it. But this is a relatively mild drug, much less damaging than, say, alcohol consumption.

Furthermore, do you really think it's your business to set him straight or to tell his parents? Intervention is a pretty drastic step - one that should be taken only when a person's self-destruction is obvious and imminent. And, by the way, it's rarely successful. I suspect that if you take action, you'll do nothing more than make an enemy out of a former friend.

It's perfectly okay for you to establish limits with him, i.e., let him know that you don't want to be around him when he smokes or when he is high. That's your choice and that's one way that you can register your disapproval of what he's doing.

Other than that I would advise that you stay out of it.



User currently offlineVafi88 From United States of America, joined Apr 2001, 3116 posts, RR: 17
Reply 3, posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1547 times:

He doesn't drive yet, but his grades WILL decline, one thing he hasn't done his summer reading and writing, and his school is put on hold. I told him that I'd rather see him do it less atleast, but he just lies, the only reason I find out is I'm friends with his EX-smoking buddy which quit.


I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
User currently offlineSleekjet From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2046 posts, RR: 22
Reply 4, posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1542 times:

I'd tell his parents. You may lose a friend but you'll possibly save his life. I disagree with a previous poster who feels smoking weed within certain limits would be okay. A nice-sized percentage of those eventually move up the food chain to the harder stuff. This guy seems to have a nice future awaiting him. Don't let him blow it. (unintentional pun)


II Cor. 4:17-18
User currently offlineBlatantEcho From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1903 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1526 times:

sorry mate, it's time to bail before it pulls you down. He'll pull out if his parents find out and they beat him sensless, or he loses everything.

If he keeps getting by, he won't change. The best thing you can do is walk out on him, and tell him why. You already lost your best friend, get over it and get on with your life.

Friends come in all different forms, and when your paths diverge, smile, remember the ride, and get on with it, friendships that culminate in drug use don't last forever unless you're using too.

Happened to me, and happens to tons of people, don't tell anyones parents, just move on with your life, your friend needs to figure it out by himself.

George



They're not handing trophies out today
User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11574 posts, RR: 15
Reply 6, posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1497 times:

Drop him as a friend. It will be less stress in your life. If he needs you to help him, he will come to you and ask. But for now, just don't deal with him at all. If anyone asks, just tell them.

GO CANUCKS!!



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineNorth County From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 712 posts, RR: 1
Reply 7, posted (10 years 12 months 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 1483 times:

Rent the movie "Less then Zero" and watch it with your friend.

Afterwards, ask him if weed is really worth it?


User currently offlineDash8King From Canada, joined Nov 2001, 2742 posts, RR: 11
Reply 8, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 1465 times:

one thing he hasn't done his summer reading and writing, and his school is put on hold

Summer is meant for putting school on hold. Lighten up,let him do his own thing if you don't like it then don't hang around with him.


User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 9, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 1461 times:

Dude, tell his parents. Like was said before, he may not be your friend anymore when you do, but he WILL thank you later in life. One question tho, what makes his parents suspect it?

Chris



Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineBR715-A1-30 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 1460 times:

friendships that culminate in drug use don't last forever unless you're using too.

Unless you're using too? Sorry buddy, but that makes it go faster. You suddenly start hogging it to yourself, and getting mad at the other guy for taking your stash. Yeah, Right. I sure am glad I never got into that sH**


User currently offlineBlatantEcho From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1903 posts, RR: 1
Reply 11, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 1447 times:

BR715-A1-30-

You never got into that shit, but you still know how it works? Whose hogging and what not?

Last I checked, I never had friends that split the cost of drugs. They might smoke each other out, but when it came to buying caps, tabs, pills, and lines, everyone had to pitch in.

Losers grab onto each other like rats on a sinking ship. Sure they fall apart eventually, but that is because the ones that are in deep keep going down, and a few find out they are almost too deep and pull out of it.

I've watched it all, and it ain't pretty. Never took part, and that's why it's even harder to offer my advice of dumping the friend and moving on with life.

George



They're not handing trophies out today
User currently offlineMaxPowers From United States of America, joined Dec 2000, 475 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 1434 times:

Want my opinion? Big friggin deal!!!! There are worse things he could be doing...You say 2-3 times a day is too much? How do you know it's too much when you don't smoke? I'm confused; after all, you don't have any experience with it. Furthermore, do you have proof his grades have gone down? No?...So your ASSuming that his grades will go down...lame, next. I'm in AP and college level courses and I havn't started my summer work either...boo hoo... Sad I was in the same position as last year and still managed to get 4's on my AP tests.

Mary Jane is a great way to relax and enjoy free time...it's absolutly none of your business to make your friends "addiction" known to his parents. Now, if he starts sucking dick for coke, then you know you have a problem.

Oh, by the way...here are my states.
weed smoker.
15 buck per hour job.
Got into a world class university
lease my own car, pay my own insurance, have my own cell phone, credit card...the list goes on.
Very active in vol. around the community 100's of community serivce hours ( I think 1000 something now!)
Spend time with my family

Not all people who smoke have problems...and since you have never smoked, how about you don't tell other people that they have a problem when you don't know if it is or isn't!

Oh and BR715...lets stop this "weed is more addictive then cigerettes" thing, okay? Cause we all know it's pure B.S.


User currently offlineDash8King From Canada, joined Nov 2001, 2742 posts, RR: 11
Reply 13, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 1429 times:

Now, if he starts sucking dick for coke, then you know you have a problem.

LOL! But true. Also I think the 2-3 times a day number might be inflated? Anyways like said before a weed addiction is for the most part an addiction that only bothers the person addicted unlike Alcohol, heroin etc. He is not stealing to support his habbit is he?


User currently offlineCanadianNorth From Canada, joined Aug 2002, 3389 posts, RR: 9
Reply 14, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 1426 times:

well... I know its hard, but I would go with getting someone with some authority to handle it. You may have to walk away from the friendship, but sometimes its the only way. I know from expirience, a good friendship is hard to walk away from, but sometimes you dont have much choice, so even if after how many years you have to just walk away from it all, atleast know that you may of helped him alot by walking away, may sound a little harsh, but its the only way he is gunna learn.

CanadianNorth



What could possibly go wrong?
User currently offlineSleekjet From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2046 posts, RR: 22
Reply 15, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 1413 times:

Hey, MaxPowers: Did that world-class university and weed-addled brain approve of your spelling? Just kidding.


II Cor. 4:17-18
User currently offlineNorth County From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 712 posts, RR: 1
Reply 16, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 1409 times:

Max Powers,

Hope your employer never does a drug test because you were involved in a work related accident.

Then your stats would change to:

out of work - fired
unable to make the lease payment on your car, cell phone and credit card.
You might be forced to do community work by a judge as well....


Unless you are a rock star most employers don't take kindly to drug use....


I would not be proud of using illegal substances....

that is like someone proud of being a smoker, underage drinker etc, etc.



User currently offlineMaxPowers From United States of America, joined Dec 2000, 475 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 1395 times:

Yes spelling did count  Big grin I had my mom look over the appy before I sent it in just because paper does not have a spell check.

Besides, I just worked over a 15 hour day for the past two weeks...I feel it's an excuse all in its self.

Oh yea, one more thing. I never stated the extent as to how much I smoke. I do have a job at a company that drug tests.


User currently offlineDash8King From Canada, joined Nov 2001, 2742 posts, RR: 11
Reply 18, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 1382 times:

I drink and I am underage, I don't see why I should be ashamed of that? I enjoy having a good time and going to parties.

User currently offlineAmerican_4275 From United States of America, joined Aug 1999, 1076 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1377 times:

Listen...I didn't even really read the replies...but I'll give you my advice.

I have a friend who smokes multiple times a day...sometimes up to 7 times a day. Myself, at my peak point of smoking, have smoked 2-3 times a day consistently for a period of maybe 2-3 weeks. It didn't screw things up for me, though - it's not a debilitating disease...I'm not trying to understate pot or whatever but people have very rediculous misconceptions about marijuana. There's a reason that it's decriminilized in some parts of the world and is highly controversial on both sides.

Smoking weed is not going to ruin you unless you let it. If you let it get to your personality...if it effects you socially or you can actually notice that it has substantial effects on your thinking or ability to process (i.e. you're getting dumber), that's probably a good sign that they should tone it down. Otherwise, make sure there's serious problem before you intervene. Sometimes I wish my parents were more educated about marijuana - that way I'd feel a lot more comfortable about approaching them about the subject.

Good luck,
American_4275


User currently offlineDelta15 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 617 posts, RR: 5
Reply 20, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1372 times:

Man, this is ridiculous. Talk to him or whatever, but don't tell his damn parents. It's just weed, you will realize in college that a bunch of people do it, and its no big friggin deal. Just relax man. BTW, i do not smoke!

User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7949 posts, RR: 12
Reply 21, posted (10 years 12 months 2 days ago) and read 1364 times:

First things first: Beating him up would at least be as illegal as smoking weed. And who knows: Maybe this will harm him more than you actually want to. What are you going to do if he looses his eyesight? Forget it.

Maybe it's a good idea to call or see a drug counsellor at you local community health center (or whatever - talk to a professional, that is!).

Greetings,
NoUFO



I support the right to arm bears
User currently offlineVafi88 From United States of America, joined Apr 2001, 3116 posts, RR: 17
Reply 22, posted (10 years 12 months 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 1353 times:

AirlineLove - He comes home really late smelling like pot and alcohol...


I'd like to elect a president that has a Higher IQ than a retarted ant.
User currently offlineRacko From Germany, joined Nov 2001, 4856 posts, RR: 20
Reply 23, posted (10 years 12 months 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 1349 times:

Does anyone know if the book "Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo" is also available in English? We read it in school and it really makes you think about drugs and how fast you can get sucked into addiction. Imho this book is better than all those Government anti-drug campaigns together. I agree that a johnny or two a week won't hurt you, but you have to control yourself.

User currently offlineTranceport From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 282 posts, RR: 1
Reply 24, posted (10 years 12 months 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 1351 times:

You should neither beat the guy up nor should you tell his parents. Judgements and rash actions against your friend will never work. All they will do is alienate him.

What you and your friend need to do is visit http://www.erowid.org, http://www.dancesafe.org and http://www.bluelight.nu. These are harm reduction websites and/or drug information sites staffed by people who run the gamut from drug addicts to ex-drug addicts to recreational drug users to parents to law enforcement officials, etc.

As foreign as it sounds to many of you, the best approach is to provide someone who has chosen to use illegal or controlled substances non-judgmental, unbiased information on the risks as well as harm reduction techniques for safer drug use. Remember, there is no *safe* drug usage, but if you choose to use drugs then there are things you can do to be safer.

Emotional, religious and punitive appeals will not achieve what you desire from your friend. If you are a true friend, then your friend's use of marijuana will not cause you to walk away unless it begins to affect your relationship. Educate yourself and encourage your friend to educate himself. I am not suggesting that you condone his drug use. Everyone has their own standards and limits, and I respect that. If your friend researches marijuana, he may learn ways to be safer when he smokes or he may even decide that it is something that is not worth the risks.

Until less than a year ago, I believed that all drug users were losers, jerks, freaks and thieves. I was vocal about what should be done to drug dealers. I began to research drugs and drug use very thoroughly. It was a surprise for me to find that there is no stereotypical drug user. People of all walks of life and from the whole spectrum of socio-economic levels use illegal or controlled substances. They run the gamut from back alley heroin addicts to highly intelligent educated professionals who occasionally use certain substances in the most responsible manner possible.

I since have become involved in harm reduction efforts. It has proven to be very rewarding and a way to contribute something to society instead of taking a moral high ground and spewing forth violent diatribes about something about which I knew nothing and which helps no one.



User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7949 posts, RR: 12
Reply 25, posted (10 years 12 months 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 1343 times:

Racko,

yes, there is an English issue of "Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo" available:
amazon




I support the right to arm bears
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