Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Wednesday Humour  
User currently offlineSaintsman From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 2065 posts, RR: 2
Posted (10 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 834 times:

I got shafted yesterday (by proxy I might add) so try these:

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.

The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He says that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. Mystified, she asks: "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"

He answers: " Well, it's like this: yesterday, when she went by the store I asked her to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers, on account of, she says, it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she...."



A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!"

"Blowjobs!" the woman replied.

"It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month" he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.

To which the husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your out of here".



A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat.
He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes;
mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just
happened.
It was a tongue twister accident.
See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying,
I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said
"I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh"........... So she socked me a good one.
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable.
Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to say to my wife,
"Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey."
But I accidentally said, 'you ruined my life you evil fat slag'


2 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineGKirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24914 posts, RR: 56
Reply 1, posted (10 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 827 times:

ROFLMAO  Big thumbs up  Laugh out loud



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineDC-10 Levo From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2001, 3432 posts, RR: 3
Reply 2, posted (10 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 785 times:

Thanks a lot for them. I really like the second one. Big grin

DC-10


Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
Hump Wednesday: Can You Keep Count? posted Wed Aug 5 2009 10:38:49 by September11
Wednesday Before Thanksgiving Stupid Thread posted Wed Nov 21 2007 02:33:37 by Airfoilsguy
At Least It's Wednesday Now: The Onion posted Wed Oct 17 2007 13:06:21 by Futurecaptain
Airline Humour.... posted Sat Sep 22 2007 00:11:20 by Emirates773ER
3 Brazilian Soldiers Die In Iraq (Humour) posted Sat Jul 21 2007 00:50:56 by 747438
Wednesday's Stupid Thread posted Wed May 30 2007 19:18:39 by Futurecaptain
Blair Shows A Sense Of Humour... posted Sat Mar 17 2007 12:08:24 by Banco
Wednesday Night's Movie Advice! posted Wed Jan 17 2007 22:59:12 by Mika
Wednesday's Stupid Thread: Initials=airport Code? posted Wed Dec 13 2006 18:22:23 by Thepilot
Friday Night Humour posted Fri Dec 1 2006 22:42:54 by Helvknight