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An FAQ For The Airliners.net Civil Aviation Forum  
User currently offlineB747-437B From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7637 times:

Below are selected excerpts from the FAQ of the airliners.net Civil Aviation forum.


#6. 9/11 happened. Deal.

#8. Your trip report sucks. No I havent read it. I just know it does anyway.

#13. "Spotting" is another word for acne.

#18. Airbus is subsidized. There, we said it. Now move on with life.

#27. No, I don't stay up nights wondering what would have happened if Casino Express had ordered 747s.

#31. The local airport DOES NOT hire 16 yr olds.

#34. Give up your dream of becoming an airline pilot. You are too stupid.

#38. There is life beyond Ryanair.

#43. You enjoy your PTVs. I'll be shagging the flight attendants in the crew rest.

#48. Even if you can remember every flight you've ever flown on, chances are nobody cares.

#51. What to expect on your upcoming flight? Plane goes up, plane comes down.

#58. Wow, are you serious about that 3rd daily SEA-GTF flight? Now I can die happy.

#62. The registration of the plane operating AF 2167 on 11/6/1974 was F-UCKU

#67. If you can name every flight that flies to your local airport its too small to be significant.

#71. You think taxes on plane tickets suck? Wait till you get a job and have to pay REAL tax.

#75. No, you can't jumpseat.

#81. Wow, a 717 for Northwest. Why didn't we think of this before?

#87. Sometimes planes divert. Now clean up before the keyboard gets sticky.

#94. Thats the dumbest idea for a startup airline I have ever heard.

#100. I don't need to hear your question. The answer is NO.

58 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineIndustrialPate From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7366 times:

You left out:

Yes, US will purchase UA and PIT will become a SuperDooper Hub.

...there are a over 10,000 airline buffs on this site but from what I can see 9,980+ tend to be much younger and their only concern is if they are going to have a PTV while flying to Grandma's house that is 1-2 hours away on the latest LCC and question why the fare can't be lower. - a.net user


User currently offlineAirdude66 From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 187 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7346 times:

Awe man.................what else is left to say.

User currently offlineEI A330-200 From Sweden, joined Apr 2001, 409 posts, RR: 4
Reply 3, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7335 times:

OMG...That has to be the funniest thing I have ever read. Also, IndustrialPlate, I love your signature. Thats great!


Long live Aer Lingus, the Flying Shamrock!
User currently offlineAIR757200 From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 1579 posts, RR: 7
Reply 4, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7335 times:


B747-437B,

Great post!!  Smile


User currently offlineCMK10 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 513 posts, RR: 3
Reply 5, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7295 times:

#93 Wow, your L-1011 in Continental's meatball scheme you made on Photoshop is great, now maybe if you put those talents into something worthwhile, you may have a future at Subway!

DC-10's Forever



"Traveling light is the only way to fly" - Eric Clapton
User currently offlineIndustrialPate From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7290 times:

This FAQ fails to address how many DL aircraft are painted in "Widget," "The Spirit of Ron Allen," "Deltafloat," and "Song."

User currently offlineUSAFHummer From United States of America, joined May 2000, 10685 posts, RR: 53
Reply 7, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7301 times:

Hilarious as always Sean...nothing short of a riot!!!

Greg



Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
User currently offlineSR 103 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 1740 posts, RR: 39
Reply 8, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7294 times:

Jezz..... What else can I say? Wait, I know,
When is Northwest going to get rid of those old and dirty DC-9's and DC-10's? They are flying death traps.
But hey, without those 13 year olds posting these idiotic questions, airliners would not be so interesting!  Big grin

SR 103


User currently offlineAirlinelover From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 5580 posts, RR: 23
Reply 9, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 7271 times:

ROFL Sean!!

I have to add My favorite..

The UNWRITTEN #1: You post, said post gets moved, and the poster gets banned...

IMO, what a load of bulls***!!!!!

Who's mad at the world THIS time??

Chris


[Edited 2003-11-25 06:10:24]


Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
User currently offlineBNE From Australia, joined Mar 2000, 3183 posts, RR: 12
Reply 10, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 7231 times:

SR 103, you forgot to provide the answer to the Northwest DC 9 Question or there will be speculation once a week for the next 5 years. Well once we get rid of that question then we can get onto more important topics. Like What is your favourite airline livery.  Big grin



Why fly non stop when you can connect
User currently offlineTWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Reply 11, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 7226 times:

From my observation over the past 3 years, #1 HAS to be:

NOBODY FUCKING CARES WHAT YOUR FAVORITE/LEAST FAVORITE MOST BEAUTIFUL/UGLIEST BEST/WORST LIVERY/AIRLINE/FLIGHT/AIRPORT/FLIGHT ATTENDANT UNIFORM IS/WAS/WILL EVER BE.

Amen.



An unexamined life isn't worth living.
User currently offlineQb001 From Canada, joined Apr 2000, 2053 posts, RR: 4
Reply 12, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 7200 times:

You all forgot about the:
717 longest flight
717 shortest flight
737 longest flight
737 shortest flight
747 longest flight
747 shortest flight
757 longest flight
757 shortest flight
767 longest flight
767 shortest flight
777 longest flight
777 shortest flight
319 longest flight
319 shortest flight
320 longest flight
320 shortest flight
321 longest flight
321 shortest flight
310 longest flight
310 shortest flight
300 longest flight
300 shortest flight
330 longest flight
330 shortest flight
340 longest flight
340 shortest flight
DC-10 longest flight
DC-10 shortest flight
MD-11 longest flight
MD-11 shortest flight
MD-80 longest flight
MD-80 shortest flight
L-1011 longest flight
L-1011 shortest flight
Concorde longest flight
Concorde shortest flight
Dash-8 longest flight
Dash-8 shortest flight
CRJ longest flight
CRJ shortest flight
ERJ longest flight
ERJ shortest flight

Did I forget any?



Never let the facts get in the way of a good theory.
User currently offlineSrbmod From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 7182 times:

#11: All jet engines make noise; the only time you should be worried is if they stop making noise inflight.

#37: Yes many airlines have pretty F/As; by the same token, they have ugly ones as well.

#2: Tailstrikes happen, but are rare, so don't get all worried about them!


User currently offlineUTA_flyinghigh From Tunisia, joined Oct 2001, 6495 posts, RR: 50
Reply 14, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 7158 times:

...and the differences between a CFM56-3B1 on a 737-3Y0 and a CFM56-5C4 on an A340-313X.
UTA



Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
User currently offlineElectraBob From United States of America, joined Sep 2003, 931 posts, RR: 3
Reply 15, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 7157 times:

Don't forget these doozies:

Why do a.net members hate Southwest?
Why do a.net members hate Airtran?
Why do a.net members hate JetBlue?
Why do a.net members hate Frontier?
Why do a.net members hate Spirit?

Was Valujet really not safe??




Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.....
User currently offlineB747Skipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 7155 times:

What I personally love best is...
xxx
"In the Boeing 737 with 117 Y class seats, there are 2 toilets in the back...
Then follows a picture of a 737, to let us know what a 737 looks like.
xxx
"In the Airbus 310 there are 53 windows on the RH side of the cabin...
Then follows a picture of a 310, to educate us what a 310 is...
xxx
"Why is the #2 engine nacelle painted in pink while the others are baby blue...
Then I finally get to see a picture of a 747... I appreciate that one, I did not know.
xxx
"When will LH retire this JU-52... or... will there be a JU-52-ER...?
I get a headache at times... but thanks for the aeronautical education...
xxx
Happy contrails -  Big grin
(s) Skipper


User currently offlineQb001 From Canada, joined Apr 2000, 2053 posts, RR: 4
Reply 17, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 7129 times:

The 343 is NOT underpowered.


Never let the facts get in the way of a good theory.
User currently offlineGarnetpalmetto From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 5386 posts, RR: 53
Reply 18, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 7141 times:

#39 "No one here gives a damn that your father is an airline pilot/millionaire CEO that flies first class from IAD to DCA for kicks/government minister from Kerplakistan. Waving them around in our faces like it suddenly means you're the defining authority on all things aviation shows that you haven't a clue."

#40 "No one here gives a damn what your frequent flyer status is. Waving it around in our faces like it's the crowning achievement of your life shows that you've led a trite and meaningless existence."

#41 "Concorde is retired. R-E-T-I-R-E-D. Look up the word in a dictionary - it'll probably be on one of the pages that you haven't earmarked for having 'dirty words' or isn't covered in your spooge. Concorde ain't coming back. Get over it."

#42 "If you're a 16-20 year old student from one country one day and then a 26-35 year old Chairman & CEO from another country the next day, chances are people are going to call shenanigans on you for being a moron.



South Carolina - too small to be its own country, too big to be a mental asylum.
User currently offlineB747Skipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 7122 times:

Do not expect me to answer these four questions -
xxx
#1 - What is the UD toilet flush electrical motor in terms of cycles per minute and debit rate litres/second...?
#2 - How much poopooh can go in the water-waste tank for that toilet...?
#3 - That "blue stuff" in the toilet, is it good tasting...?
#4 - In this picture, is it possible that LV-MLO has a leaking toilet drain mast...?
xxx
(s) Skipper  Big grin




User currently offlineYyz717 From Canada, joined Sep 2001, 16248 posts, RR: 56
Reply 20, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 7121 times:

How about the following periodic ones:
#1. Who else is a member of the mile-high club? I just joined last week! (Translation -- I have so little self-respect & I am in such need of male validation, I will admit to having had sex with a GIRL/WOMAN in an airborne public toilet).
...and for our Canadian viewers:
#2. I just had lunch with the CEO of Claptrap Airlines when he was here in Montreal....he told me his airline is THINKING about flying to YUL.....Oh boy! I predict 3-times daily 744 service from YUL to Claptrap City! Oh boy!! What do you think about this???????




Panam, TWA, Ansett, Eastern.......AC next? Might be good for Canada.
User currently offlineYbacpa From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1108 posts, RR: 1
Reply 21, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 7113 times:

- How can a (747, 777, 340, etc) possibly take off from SXM?

- Why can't a (747, 777, 340, etc) take off from LGA, DCA, LCY, etc?



SkyTeam: The alliance for third rate airlines finally getting their act together!
User currently offlineAA61hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 57
Reply 22, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 8 hours ago) and read 7096 times:

The AN124 is flying to ____ Airport. Big deal..

DFW blows in terms of INT traffic, get over it

We don't know the t/n on the plane you flew

I'm flying on XX airlines to XXX airport, expect to take off, land, see some big planes, maybe have some turbulence and there will be rude F/a's



Go big or go home
User currently offlineYbacpa From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 1108 posts, RR: 1
Reply 23, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 7086 times:

- Some airlines have PTVs at all seats, some have them only in the front of the bus, some only have main screen entertainment, some have NO entertainment. Your choices:
  • Fly an airline that has your preferred entertainment setup.
  • Fly an airline that doesn't have your preferred entertainment setup.



  • SkyTeam: The alliance for third rate airlines finally getting their act together!
    User currently offlineNotdownnlocked From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 935 posts, RR: 1
    Reply 24, posted (10 years 9 months 1 week 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 7054 times:

    Usually buried within these threads there is usually something mentioned about the beat to death "cartel carriers" and everybody should be obligated to stay away from them at any cost and a certain city located in the Southern US that has the largest "diaspora" of any population outside their homeland of any country/state/planet/galaxy, thereby making the local population of said city at least 200 million!!! Due to this large gathering of miscellaneous "diaspora", the local airport should be served by every airline nonstop to everywhere.

    25 Post contains images Sushka : Great thread Do A318s have tail strikes? Do A319s have tail strikes? Do A320s have tail strikes? Do A321s have tail strikes? Do A330s have tail strike
    26 Redngold : Of local interest: #99 CLE has in the past, and still does, handle widebodies and 747s. We even got the An-225. So stop trashing our airport about wha
    27 TheGov : Great thread I'm glad the perennial favorite NW DC-9 thread was mentioned. But what about these: Isn't JetBlue the greatest!!! I just love AirTran!!!!
    28 Post contains images B747Skipper : Oh yes, Sushka, you are right... how do I become airline pilot... Do not forget - "how much money do they make...?" xxx How do I fly cargo... If it is
    29 Post contains links and images N243NW : "What colours do the 707 look best in?" "What colours do the 717 look best in?" "What colours do the 727 look best in?" "What colours do the 737 look
    30 MSYtristar : I have to add a couple to this great list this far..... #108: Northwest Airlines will get rid of its DC-10 fleet when it damn well feels like it, so g
    31 Post contains images CanyonBlue : "Northwest will retire their DC9's when they damn well feel like it" "EVERYONE at somepoint or another has had a bad experience on an airline. YOU are
    32 MSYtristar : "Like it or not, you don't NEED PTV's to make it through a flight. Ever heard of something very old school called....gasp....a book!"
    33 DesertJets : If Eastern/Pan Am/National/Braniff/TWA/Hughes AirWest were around today they still wouldn't be flying planes. They went bankrupt or were bought out fo
    34 Qb001 : I just had lunch with the CEO of Claptrap Airlines when he was here in Montreal....he told me his airline is THINKING about flying to YUL.....Oh boy!
    35 ConcordeLoss : Guys! guys! guys! you forgot THE A VS. B and only recently "TED livery is stupid"
    36 Backfire : #201 I don't care how much your fare was, you don't have window-shade authority over the cabin crew. #213 Other passengers don't give a sh!t whether i
    37 Us330 : #234 Singapore Airlines has never been nor will ever be the best carrier in the world and it is certainly not better than Cathay Pacific #241 Those va
    38 Post contains images Singapore_Air : to suggestion for #234 Lucky I clicked this thread for some reason.
    39 ConcordeLoss : Ok... now this started smooth and nice,, but its getting silly.
    40 Cancidas : this is the funniest thread i've read in the few months i've been here. great job.
    41 CactusA319 : We don't really want to read your Concorde trip report, quit plugging it. We've seen your photo of the Peter Max 777 a million times already. Quit plu
    42 Post contains images AA61hvy : "We've seen your photo of the Peter Max 777 a million times already. Quite plugging it." Jay doesn't plug that shot much anymore
    43 Stratofish : #265: "Your dad" may not necessarily be an aviation expert. #36: Mobile phones do not always actually do but CAN INDEED interfere with aeronautic equi
    44 VectorVictor : #1001. New Orleans should learn to live within the shadow of Atlanta, Houston, Dallas and (for heaven's sake) Memphis for at least another decade. #10
    45 Atrude777 : Yeah the STL topics gets a little overworked too and I admit to playing a apart fo them.. some frequent asked STL topics.. "why doesn't southwest add
    46 CactusA319 : #66: Spell check is there for a reason. Use it. ------------------------------------------------
    47 Luv2fly : I vote this gets anchored permanently at the top of the threads list. All in favor.
    48 Post contains images Flyingbronco05 : B747-437B, Great post!! Too bad it's in the wrong forum
    49 N79969 : "#62. The registration of the plane operating AF 2167 on 11/6/1974 was F-UCKU" I really miss this airplane...
    50 L.1011 : # Elevendy-Twelve NO! No one is planning to add serviceto CWL! NO! Nothing is happening at CWL for at least the next 297 years! NO! Continental, nor a
    51 Post contains images Jaspike : #Elevendy-Twelve is a nice one L.1011 - I just posted a list in the latest CWL thread of all the CWL threads. Here it is! Possible New Routes From CWL
    52 DIJKKIJK : Some of these masterpieces have appeared in the past few days 1. Five best airlines 2. Five worst airlines 3. Five best airports 4. Five worst airport
    53 AC320 : #573 You don't have to write "Singapore Airlines Limited" when referring to a certain airline . Just write "Singapore" and don't be afraid we're going
    54 Post contains images AirJamPanAm : "Can you idiots get it right?" Q A N T A S has no "U"!!!!!!!!!!! They get really bent behind that lemme tell ya!
    55 Luv2fly : And it is America West, not American West.
    56 Post contains images N243NW : #1081 - Well, I guess we'll all just have to stop posting these type of threads and see if Boeing actually plans to stretch the 737 another 300 feet,
    57 IHadAPheo : 33 b) I do not give a rats patootie if your daddy is the Air France Jr VP in charge of Aircraft Waxing and Washing 323 c) Nor do I care how many cases
    58 Post contains links and images Fly727 : #220 - If you want to know the difference between the MD81,82,83 and 88 go HERE: http://www.airliners.net/info/stats.main?id=109 before asking. #324 -
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