MxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 34 Posted (11 years 3 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1040 times:
A few years ago Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang made a new Friend who developed leukemia in an animated special entitled, "Why Me, Charlie Brown?" And recently, Met Life put out a series of instructional pamphlets which feature the gang dealing with contemporary issues. Continuing this trend, here's some proposals for Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's:
Charlie and the little red-headed girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in: "I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Linus struggles with homosexual conflict in: "ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Charlie moves back to his house in East L.A in: "OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?"
See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in: "NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Discover a father's forbidden love in: "IT'S OUR LITTLE SECRET, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in: "IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLES BOYYY!"
Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in "GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"
Snoopy is accused of mauling a baby in: "BRENTWOOD BEAGLE." Schroeder discovers the harsh difficulties of employment as a classical pianist in: WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT, CHARLIE BROWN?"
Violet peddles her body for crack money while stealing social security checks and stripping cars in: "GO BLAME SOCIETY, CHARLIE BROWN" The gang learns about STD's in: "IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"
Peppermint Patty teaches the gang how to get high, then 'goes to town' on Marcie in the double feature: "ROLL US A FAT ONE, CHARLIE BROWN!" and "WHO NEEDS MEN, CHARLIE BROWN?"
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.
DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(