Newark, NJ — Exhibiting the selfless generosity that's become his trademark at Newark, International airport philanthropic airline mechanic Dwayne Todd expressed today his sincere desire to service Britney Spears "anytime she wants."
While replacing the nav lights on a CO 737, Todd's thoughts drifted to the young pop star when apprentice mechanic Trevor Evans, 18, popped her latest CD, Oops ... I Did It Again, into the Hanger boombox.
"God, I'd service her any day," stated Todd, 37, recalling bits and pieces of her music videos and televised performances. "She's one hot little honey. You see her last week on SNL? She ain't daddy's little girl no more, that's for sure."
In keeping with his generous nature, Todd expressed his heartfelt willingness to provide Ms. Spears with the quality servicing that only he could offer.
"The way she was dancin' and shakin' them little boobies? You can tell she wants it bad. None of them Back Streets Boys or N'SYNC fairies could give her the kind of plowing I could!"
Todd further elaborated that he could "bang her all night long and then some."
Crew supervisor Mario Ambrosio and Evans wholeheartedly agreed that Ms. Spears would be a fool to reject Todd's one-of-a-kind services.
Todd's reputation for generosity began in 1984 after he first watched the video for Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" and instantly offered to take Christie Brinkley "uptown" anytime. Other beneficiaries of his selfless affection have since included Kathy Ireland, Drew Barrymore, Winona Ryder, and Christina Ricci.
Just days before extending his exciting offer to Ms. Spears, while attending a barbecue at Ambrosio's home, Todd offered to service American Beauty's Mena Suvari, expressing a genuine yearning to "lube her bearings anytime."
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