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So You Want To Be An Airline PILOT.........  
User currently offlineTeahan From Germany, joined Nov 1999, 5294 posts, RR: 61
Posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2030 times:

Hey,

This was posted on PPRUNE. Definitely made me laught!

Here is a "Home Study Simulator Course" designed for those who hunger for the "romance" and "adventure" of piloting a large commercial airliner.

1. Stay out of bed all night.

2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.

3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night.
If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.

4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating an eastbound flight into the sunrise.

5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.

6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.

7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.

8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, just like waiting for the hotel van.

9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait you'd have while the maid makes up the hotel room.

10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just say, "practicing the allure of all night flying to romantic places" and collapse into bed.

11. Lay awake for several hours listening to a recording of airplanes departing and arriving. Add ice machine and elevator noises intermittently with the vacuum sweeper banging into your bedroom door. Play the TV in the next room as loud as it will go. Sleep fitfully for 3 hours, get up.

12. Shower in cold water.

13. Pay $30 for a bagel and a cup of coffee.

14. If you are a purist, do this three nights in a row.

 Laugh out loud

Kind Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan

So how about an aviation humour forum?



Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
10 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1763 times:

I have posted that on Jetcareers a long time ago!
Iain


User currently offlineTeahan From Germany, joined Nov 1999, 5294 posts, RR: 61
Reply 2, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1757 times:

Hey,

Ianin, this is not JetCarees is it? This is Airliners.net and it wasn't posted here yet!

Kind Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan



Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 1752 times:

It actually was as that is where I got it from! It is somewhere in the civil aviation board, probably about 6-8 weeks ago!
Iain


User currently offlineUSAFHummer From United States of America, joined May 2000, 10685 posts, RR: 53
Reply 4, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 1740 times:

Teahan,

Iain is right...I remember seeing this here a while back...nonetheless its still funny!

Greg



Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
User currently offlineB737-700 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 1719 times:


Who the heck cares !!!!
I enjoyed it anway.
Thanks for the post Jeremiah !

B737-700


User currently offlineDerek H From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 1686 times:

I have been sensing some tension between Iain and Teahan lately.

Oh well,

that is pretty funny, 1st time i have seen it!


User currently offlineTeahan From Germany, joined Nov 1999, 5294 posts, RR: 61
Reply 7, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 1679 times:

Hey,

Iainhol, I can't see every thread that is posted here. I can't spend 24 hours on this site opening every thread, can I? I have bioligical needs like having to get some sleep etc.. and psycological needs like getting an education etc... If you don't like it, don't read it!

Derek H, yes I guess there is a bit of tension. I wonder why???? Maybe the difference between the European opinion and the American opinion. I don't know.

KInd Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan



Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 1671 times:

Jeremiah - I nevre suggested that, the reason I posted that is because you have done the same to me! Although this weekend we have not agreed on too much, I still give you respect, and hope all the best for you. It is very easy to fire back and fourth via PC however I am sure if we meet, we would have a great time spotting!
Iain


User currently offlineTeahan From Germany, joined Nov 1999, 5294 posts, RR: 61
Reply 9, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 1669 times:

Hey,

Iain, I definitely still give you respect too. Well that is minus that fish post, but it was funny in its own way  Laugh out loud. Yes, I definitely agree on the last 2 lines.

Anyway it is 1AM here in Ireland, goodnight.

KInd Regards,
Jeremiah Teahan



Goodbye SR-LX MD-11 / 6th of March 1991 to the 31st of October 2004
User currently offlineXFSUgimpLB41X From United States of America, joined Aug 2000, 4195 posts, RR: 37
Reply 10, posted (13 years 5 months 3 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 1666 times:

Haha..well i first posted it a couple months ago...this is about the 3 time since. But, hey, i still laugh at it.  Big grin


Chicks dig winglets.
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