EGFFbmi From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1256 times:
I have a girlfriend.. who I love and who loves me etc etc.. but I found out that her ex-boyfriend said that he still liked her.. she said that she doesn't like him.. and I do trust her... I just want some reassurance and some help..
MidnightMike From United States of America, joined Mar 2003, 2892 posts, RR: 15 Reply 1, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1222 times:
Oh boy, well, the Ex-Boyfriend is waiting for you to lower your guard and then he will swoop in and reap the awards. This has nothing to do with trusting your girlfriend, it is the dude who you can not trust. There should be no reason why your girlfriend the ex-boyfriend should be speaking with one another.
Jkw777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 2, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 1209 times:
Whom did you find this out from?
I would just let it ride right over your head mate, in due course make that girl yours! If he comes in, then you step in, take action. Violence won't solve a thing, but if I were in your boots I would just warn him that stepping on your toes and property probablly isn't a wise move.
If the girl says she doesn't like him, then that should be your reassurance surely?!
Aa61hvy From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 13977 posts, RR: 58 Reply 10, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1167 times:
Tell her this in these EXACT words "It makes me feel uncomfortable when you talk to him a lot. I understand you love me, but I feel a little uneasy, I just thought you might want to know that, but I do trust you"
It is a nice way to get your point across, not harsh at all. Take if from me, I have taken many communication classes (including interpersonal) this is the best way to get your feelings across, but don't pester her about it, take it from me, girls don't like pestering (ask my girl)
Its not worth getting worked up about, they broke up for a reason, you are together for a reason.
Don't fight, your girl does not care how tough you think you are. If he hurts her physically, man whoop up on him then, but not until then.
Startvalve From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 12, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 1127 times:
Nothing wrong with trusting her but in casual conversations look for timeline flaws. Most girls I know love spilling information about what they did all day and I can usually piece together a pretty good timeline. If you find her spending 4hrs at lunch it may be a good time to get suspicious.
I trust everyone but It does not make me less vigilant, just when you start extending too much trust you get knifed in the back.
Its not a crime to hang around an ex but if the time she spends with him starts increasing a lot or you catch even a tiny lie about what they were doing there is something huge to hide.
Jkw777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 13, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 1122 times:
Don't fight man, it's not really necessary. Use your loaf!! If she is still hanging around with him, you just got to see for yourself if there is something happening before weighing in with the fists, trust me
BN747 From United States of America, joined Mar 2002, 5460 posts, RR: 52 Reply 14, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1103 times:
That's great you love her..but you're in the 21 and under club...hopefully by the time you're 21 you'll have racked up 3 or 4 ex-gfs. But if there's the slightest chance that this thing can unravel...start tying a tow line to ship #2..just incase you gotta jump ship#1! As far as fighting, better be sure you can clean the other's clock...if you can't..it'd be a sad sight you get your ass handed to you and lose you chik in one fell swoop! There's no recovery from that. You're too young to be taking 'love' so seriously. But on the other hand, getting your heart cut out and stomped on, should toughen you up..hopefully! So guys collapse like a deck of cards..and stay that way!
"Home of the Brave, made by the Slaves..Land of the Free, if you look like me.." T. Jefferson
Bobrayner From United Kingdom, joined Apr 2003, 2227 posts, RR: 7 Reply 15, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1094 times:
Just show her that you trust her.
You can't keep her locked away in a cage, can you? There's nothing wrong with SMSing - I do it all the time with my exen, and it's certainly not evidence that I'm about to pounce on them. It just shows that we are still friends.
If she preferred him to you, she would have gone already. Sit back, relax, be happy together.
NormalSpeed From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 21, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1076 times:
Something similar to that happened to me. I was dating a girl, but the ex wouldn't leave her alone. She broke up with me and married the guy. Has two kids now.
Oh, wait, I was supposed to be encouraging.
Well, here's the truth: Things may not work out between you and your girl. If that happens, it will suck, but only for a couple days--two weeks max. And then your life will go on. The world will not end. You'll find someone of better quality who doesn't maintain liasons with their ex's.
EGFFbmi From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 22, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1066 times:
They haven't seen each other.. it's just he says that he still fancies her.. but I know she doesn't like him.. maybe im just paranoid.. BTW.. I spend nearly all my free time in college and out of college with her..
USAFHummer From United States of America, joined May 2000, 10685 posts, RR: 53 Reply 23, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1063 times:
"There should be no reason why your girlfriend the ex-boyfriend should be speaking with one another."
This is complete BS to be honest...Im still very good friends with my ex-gf, although I've never met any of her bf's after we broke up...Im pretty sure this is by her design but it doesnt matter...we're still friends and who gives a flying #@&*()R)(* what her current fling thinks...
Chief A.net college football stadium self-pic guru
Bobrayner From United Kingdom, joined Apr 2003, 2227 posts, RR: 7 Reply 24, posted (9 years 10 months 1 week 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1055 times:
There should be no reason why your girlfriend the ex-boyfriend should be speaking with one another
I have to agree with USAFHummer on this... I'm on speaking terms with my exen; even the really evil manipulative one. It's certainly not unusual for her to be in touch with an ex. If you can't cope with this, then either:
1. Chain her up in your cellar
2. Only date girls who have never kissed a guy before