Seb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11576 posts, RR: 15 Posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1334 times:
Let me preface this by saying I know most of the people on the net are not what they say they are but I have been on this board long enough and one day may meet one of you so why lie?
Anyway, I need some advice. I am 6 feet 175 pounds brown hair and eyes. I wash my clothes. Shower, brush my teeth and rinse my mouth at least twice a day. I comb my hair. Shave, don't have any hideous growths on my face. I make sure my clothes match. Use deoderant and just enough cologne anyone in a 6 inch radius knows I smell good. In short, I try to look as good as I can no matter what every time I go out.
I have one friend who is my same age 5 foot 9 190 pounds. He too washes rinses, coordinates his outfits and always tries to look good. When he goes out, even just walking through the mall, he has guys hitting on him but no one bats an eye at me except that one drag queen (see 'Ever been fooled by a transexual' thread). When I go to the gay bars, I smile, dance, glance, and everythig but no one notices.
Am I that unattractive? What gives? I don't want to be with anyone. But is it too much to ask to be told I look good? I will admit in the mall or just out in public it may not be easy to tell if a guy is hetero, homo or a woman LOL but in a gay bar, it is not that difficult to figure out.
CPDC10-30 From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2000, 4780 posts, RR: 23
Reply 3, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 1291 times:
Surprised they go for your shorter friend, most including myself prefer taller guys. But I think a lot of guys maybe are too shy to chat you up if you are dancing up a storm on the floor - at least thats what I've noticed Just hang around a bit and I'm sure they'll start coming.
NormalSpeed From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 1215 times:
If I may speak candidly, I think that your first problem is the places that you are trying to meet people. Malls, bars... yeah, those have to be the headquarters for materialism. Perhaps try to meet people in a more intellectually stimulating and positive environment.
Speaking for myself, I'm looking for a long term relationship. So, I know that I need to look in places that I can find people with qualities that will allow that to occur.
Personally, I'm the type of guy that would also be overlooked at a mall or a bar. But in my social group, I literally have more dating options than I know what to do with, and that is because I've found a pool of eligables that share common interests and goals.
Iflyatldl From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 1936 posts, RR: 3
Reply 11, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1180 times:
Maybe it's just a cycle or involuntary phase. Sort of a slump or a dry spell. Just enjoy your friends and when you least expect it, you'll end up making a connection. I have friends who are decent looking and go out- and are on a "mission to get laid" and couldn't find a dust bunny under a rug if they tried. And I've had friends who never go out and can be in a bar for 10 minutes and have people hitting on them, giving them numbers, etc. No rhyme or reason. I used to have a "Lucky " pair of jeans, that I used to wear when I went out, (not sure if it made any difference or not)but since I'm a old married fart, they have since retired.
Ah, Summer, Fenway Park, Boston Red Sox and Beer.....
DeltaGuy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1172 times:
Perhaps its because you're trying to pick up another guy? Face it...the dominant part of Americans are straight sexually.....finding another homo is like a needle in a haystack....try looking for the ladies, I promise your search will be better.
Mirrodie From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 7443 posts, RR: 62
Reply 16, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 1135 times:
For clothes, I go to Structure or Expressmens. Sometimes Haggar or Clairborne pants as well.
As for where to meet, get involved. Library, Coffee house, social circles, barnes and Noble, Borders, a park. For years, my social cirlces revolved around school, classes and meeting friends of friends and this is how I found potential ladies in waiting of best quality.
For the clubbers and barcrawlers, steer clear. It's like Danny Glover says in Lethal Weapon, "All dressed up and no one to blow."
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 17, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 20 hours ago) and read 1132 times:
Mirrodie - where did you get your stylin' yellow shirt?
Also athletic endeavours are good places to meet people...cycling clubs, Volkssport, curling clubs (of course), hockey leagues, etc. I have made a ton of friends at my curling and speedskating clubs. Why not join a league for your favourite sport? Maybe in your area there are ones for gays too...helping to more accurately determine the sexual orientation of your fellow players!
Seb, there is a curling club in Vancouver...Evergreen Curling Club.
Bigphilnyc From United States of America, joined Jan 2002, 4076 posts, RR: 54
Reply 19, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1119 times:
If women liked me the way that men do....I'd be a happy guy.
I get AMBUSHED on the streets by men hitting on me. Even though I'm straight, I have awesome gaydar and can spot them a mile away.
I'm polite about it, of course. It's flattering, even though that's not my style.
However, touching me is where the line is drawn. I once had a guy come up to me on the trian, start hitting on me, and after I declined, he kept at it (mistake #1). Then when I went to walk away, he slapped my ass and I turned around so fast with a big wind up and caught him right in the eye.
As he tried to get up he caleld me a homophobe and all this stuff. Bullshit. Being gay doesn't give you the right to do that to people,a nd me defending myself menas nothing about my views on gay men. That BURNS me up so much. I get called a homophobe every now and again by similar idiots.
Seb, if you care what gay guys think, then you're gay, seriously.
JBirdAV8r From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 4489 posts, RR: 21
Reply 21, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1076 times:
Any pointers? Thanks....
Get over yourself. Have a -little- self-confidence...girls like it. Don't go overboard though. It's been my experience that the best ladies don't walk up to you and say "hey, you're hot"...not the ones worth anything anyway.
The best fun is beating the living daylights out of gay guys who hit on you at parties...2 straight guys against 2 phags...2 drunk and messed up phags. They have no right to touch straight property.
So how many times have you been completely and utterly flattened?
TWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Reply 22, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1075 times:
Yeah, that's really cool DeltaGuy... boy, you're really a man aren't you? Maybe you should get some counseling so the idea of "gayidge" won't "freak you out" so much.
Bigphilnyc: I find your story a bit hard to believe for 2 reasons... 1) no self-respecting gay guy would touch another guy who rebuffed his advances and stated he was straight, let alone someone as built as you, and let alone smacking you on your ass, and 2) on the subway even? And you decked him huh? And you weren't arrested? Stopped even?
UNLESS... that guy was messed up on drugs. Then your story might be plausible.... maybe.
Startvalve From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1069 times:
There are assholes in the world straight or gay that cannot take no for an answer. It does not matter what sex someone prefers, some people are just stupid. I sort of believe bigphil since I have seen one or two clearly gay people that seemed to think being gay meant they were entitled to some sort of special treatment. I do not hold this against all gay people, however, so keep the flames away.
To be arrested for decking someone a cop or someone who can quickly find a cop has to see it or they have to know who you are so the cops can find you later on. Even then the guy touching him can be considered assault or something similar depending on NY laws so Phil can say he was defending himself.
TWFirst From Vatican City, joined Apr 2000, 6346 posts, RR: 52
Reply 24, posted (10 years 6 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1060 times:
>>some people are just stupid<<
I agree wholeheartedly. Many of them visit this site.
>>I have seen one or two clearly gay people that seemed to think being gay meant they were entitled to some sort of special treatment.<<
Of course. I've too wtinessed members of various groups, subgroups, sexes, minorities, hair-colors, etc., that also acted as if they were entitled to some sort of special treatment... BUT:
Who in their right mind (key words here) would slap a hulking mass of man on the ass who just got done saying he was straight, while riding mass transportation, unless he wanted trouble? That's not logical.... unless the guy was totally drunk or high or insane, which I suppose isn't unusual in NYC.
And my point about the subway... if a fist fight breaks out in a subway car, the conductor is usually notified immediately by somebody on the train, unless it was just the two of them in the car, and the conductor then holds the train and notifies the police.... I've seen it happen.
An unexamined life isn't worth living.
: Bigphil's story is the whole reason I DO NOT flirt with guys outside of clubs. Back on topic: Last week, my friend and I were to go to the clubs. In t
: Seb146: I used to play softball, volleyball and bowl on a gay league and had a blast! In the past fifteen years since I've been back in ATL I met my P
: My understanding of the situation was: It was not really a fight, guy grabs phils ass, phil socks guy, guy hits ground. That is not what most people c
: Seb, Maybe its because you're a Canucks fan Had to throw that in
: all i have to say about this thread is...
: Everything I read on the net, I take with a grain of salt. But I also know there are guys out there that believe they are God's gift. Jderden & Tbar:
: Seb146: I wasn't directing my post simply at you...some of the responses that you got from your original post were just entirely way out of line and d
: Late to join in... Sometimes if you're too good looking, people might be intimidated to approach you... perhaps that's what's going on! TWFirst is rig
: Being intimidated by extremely good looking people is something that is very true- it has happened to me a couple of times. During my Sophomore year i
: I did it. I posted on hotornot.com. http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=GEGQOQA&key=GHD to see my posting there. GO CANUCKS!!
: OK man, you're good looking to me (I'm a woman, I promise) but seriously... is that a tie with a hockey jersey? I dunno about that.
: Not bad, Seb, and with the Stanley Cup! Even better! I too have met the exalted Cup and was it ever exciting!
: Seb, throw in a headshot instead of the bodyshot on hotornot. That photo is too small, I can "squish" your head. LOL Hey, i met many nice ladies when
: Uhhhh just shows how much (or little) I care about hockey -- totally missed that you were touching the Stanley Cup. *sigh* redngold[Edited 2004-02-10
: Mirrodie - great taste in clothes. Too bad we don't have an Express-Men's store up north. What are the MX1 shirts? Couldn't find any... I agree also S
: MX1 shirts are like a stretch fabric of sorts. 97% cotton, 3% lycra They come on MANY colors, no front pockets. NIce b/c I can wear them seeing patien