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When Irish Eyes Are Smilin....Happy St. Pats Day  
User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 20 hours ago) and read 2157 times:

As a true blue Irishman (Me mother's clans hail from County Cork and Galway,
me da's clans hail from Tyrone and Dublin), with a wee dash of Spanish thrown in for good measure (Saints and Begorra, it twas the Spanish Armada from many moons ago) I just wanted to spread some green cheer round today.

The following are some Irish proverbs and toasts. May the Good Lord bless you, and may he place a Guinness in your cold hands to keep warm.

Some Irish Blessings.......

May you always have walls for the winds,
a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,
laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.

May St. Patrick guard you wherever you go,
and guide you in whatever you do--
and may his loving protection be a blessing to you always.

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

May God grant you always...
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.

May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

Leprechauns, castles, good luck and laughter.
Lullabies, dreams and love ever after.
A thousand welcomes when anyone comes...
That's the Irish for You!


And, but of course, some Irish Toasts........


I have known many, liked not a few, loved only one, I drink to you.

May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.

May the grass grow long on the road to hell for want of use.

May you live to be a hundred years, with one extra year to repent.

As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.

May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.

May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.

May there be a generation of children on the children of your children.

May the Lord keep you in His hand and never close His fist too tight.

May your doctor never earn a dollar out of you and may your heart never give out. May the ten toes of your feet steer you clear of all misfortune, and before you're much older, may you hear much better toasts than this.

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been, the foresight to know where you're going and the insight to know when you're going too far.

May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day foward.


Aaaah, God bless, and God love, the Irish!

Happy St. Pat's Day.












29 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineRJ100 From Switzerland, joined Nov 2000, 4119 posts, RR: 29
Reply 1, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 20 hours ago) and read 2136 times:

Yeah, happy St. Patrick's day also from me. Just returned from Ireland on Sunday. Great country, beautiful landscapes, nice people, excellent beers etc.

RJ100



none
User currently offlineGo4EVA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 20 hours ago) and read 2128 times:

Ummmm. Isn't St. Pat's day tomorrow (March 17th) ?

User currently offlineUTA_flyingHIGH From Tunisia, joined Oct 2001, 6495 posts, RR: 50
Reply 3, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 2123 times:

Hello from Baile Atha Cliath !
and yes, St.Padraig (apart from being EI-DUB lol) is tomorrow.
The Guinness, Kilkenny, Smithwicks and Jameson beckon  Laugh out loud

UTA



Fly to live, live to fly - Air France/KLM Flying Blue Platinum, BMI Diamond Club Gold, Emirates Skywards
User currently offlineRJ100 From Switzerland, joined Nov 2000, 4119 posts, RR: 29
Reply 4, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 2122 times:

Yes it's on the 17th but they are partying in Dublin since Saturday...  Big grin

RJ100



none
User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 2120 times:

And of course, what would a Saint Patty's thread be without some Irish humour.


His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.

The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. " "Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."

Liam Murphy told Sean Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk to the pub.

Mike lay dying on his bed when his wife Brigid came in to him and asked if there was anything he wanted. Mike said "Brigid, what is that delicious smell coming from the kitchen?" And Brigid replied "Oh Mike that is a ham I am baking ." Mike thought, and said "Brigid, as my dying wish I would love to have some of that ham you're cooking." Then Brigid said "Oh Mike, I'm saving that for the wake".

What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ got in common?
The both lived with their mother until they were 33 and neither had a job.

How do we know that Christ was Irish?
Because he was 33 still lived at home thought his mother was a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.

Why did the good Lord invent alcohol?
To keep the Irish from ruling the world.

Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different pub.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and a Irish wake?
One less drinker.

How can you tell the Irish fella in the hospital ward?
He's the one blowing the foam off of his bed pan.

Paddy and Seamus landed themselves a job at the local sawmill. Just before morning tea Paddy yelped, "Seamus, I've lost me bleedin finger!!!"
"Have you now?" says Seamus, "And how did you do it?" "Well, I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...God damn it!, there goes another one!!!"

*********************************************************

An Irish priest in a small village near Donegal was fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house back of the parish. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing and as that was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village he decided to do something about it at church the next morning. At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" Almost immediately all the men stood up.

"Dear god, NO NO,", he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" Almost immediately all the women stood up.

"Almighty Father, NO NO,", he said. "That wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Almost immediately, half the women stood up.

"NO, NO, NO", he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"

Immediately all the Nuns stood up...



















User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 2114 times:

"Ummmm. Isn't St. Pat's day tomorrow (March 17th) ?"

When your Irish, it's never too early to start celebrating.  Smile/happy/getting dizzy Of COURSE It's tomorrow!!


User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 2109 times:

Oops, pardon me grammar! "When you're Irish", I should say.



User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 2098 times:

Raise your glass of Guinness and sing along with me....

The Irish Rover
On the fourth of July, 1806,
We set sail from the sweet cove of Cork,
We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks,
For the grand city hall in New York.
'Twas an elegant craft, she was rigged fore and aft,
And how the wild wind drove her,
She could stand a great blast in her 27 masts,
And we called her the Irish Rover.

We had one million bags of the best Sligo rags,
We had two million barrells of stones,
We had 3 million sides of old blind horses hides,
We had 4 million barrels of bone.
We had 5 million hogs, 6 million dogs,
Seven million barrels of porter,
We had 8 million bales of old nanny goat tails,
In the hold of the Irish Rover.

There was Barney McGee from the banks of the Lee,
There was Hogan from County Tyrone,
There was Johnny McGuirk who was scared stiff of work,
And a chap from WestMeath called Malone.
There was Slugger O' Toole who was drunk as a rule,
And fighting Bill Tracey from Dover.
Ther was Dolan from Clare, just as strong as a bear,
All aboard on the Irish Rover.

We had sailed 7 years when the measels broke out,
And our ship lost its way in the fog.
The the whole of the crew was reduced down to two,
Just myself and the captain's old dog.
The ship struck a rock, Lord what a shock,
The boat, it was flipped right over,
Turned nine times around and the poor old dog was drowned,
I'm the last of the Irish Rover.




User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 19 hours ago) and read 2098 times:

Aah then, let's sing another pub song......

The Spanish Lady

As I went out through Dublin City at the hour of twelve at night,
Who would I see but the Spanish Lady
Washing her feet by candle light
First she washed them then she dried them
O'er a fire of amber coals
In all my life I ne'er did see a maid so sweet about the soul

Chorus
Whack fol de turalura ladie
Whack fol de turalureley
Whack fol de turalura ladie
Whack fol de turalureley

As I came back through Dublin City at the time of half past eight
Who would I see but the Spanish Lady
Brushing her hair so trim and neat
First she teased it then she brushed it
On her lap was a silver comb
In all my life I ne'er did see so fair a maid since I did roam


Chorus
As I went round old Dublin City when the sun began to set
Who would I spy but the Spanish Lady
Catching a moth in a golden net
When she saw me quick she fled me
Lifting her petticoats over her knee
In all my life I ne'er did see a maid so shy as the Spanish Lady

I stopped to look but the watchman passed says he "young fella now the night is late
Along with you now or I will wrestle you
Straight way throught the Bride-well Gate"
I blew a kiss to the Spanish LAdy
Hot as a fire of my angry coals
In all my life I ne'er did see a maid so sweet about the soul

As I went out through Dublin City as the hour of dawn was over
Who shoul I see but the Spanish Lady
I was lonely and footsore
First she coaxed me then she chid me
Then she laughed at my sad plight
In all my life I ne'er did see a maid so sweet as on that night

I've wandered north and I've wandered south through Stoneybatter and Patrick's Close
Up and around by the Gloucester Diamond
Round by Napper Tandy's house
Old age had laid her hand on me
Cold as fire of ashey coals
But were is the lovely Spanish Lady, neat and sweet about the soul.







User currently offlineMD11Engineer From Germany, joined Oct 2003, 14026 posts, RR: 62
Reply 10, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 18 hours ago) and read 2089 times:

Happy Paddy´s day!
RJ100, they only party since saturday? When I was still living in Shannon, my colleagues partied for the WHOLE week before St. Patrick´s day. Us foreigners usualy would work and get bonuses.  Smile

Jan


User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 17 hours ago) and read 2085 times:

A mother and her 12 year old son were flying Aer Lingus. The son, who had been looking out the plane's window, turned to his mother and said "Mom ... If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

Stumped for an answer the mother suggested to her son that he ask the stewardess. The boy promptly got out of his seat and wandered back to the service area. "Excuse me" the boy said to the stewardess. "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

"Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
"Yes" He said nodding his head.
She whispered in the boy's ear, "Tell your dear mum it's because Aer Lingus always pulls out on time."


User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 17 hours ago) and read 2079 times:

Two drunks coming home from a country pub stumbled up the country road in the dark. "Faith, Mike, we've stumbled into the graveyard and here's the stone of a man lived to the age of 103!" "Glory be, Patrick and was it anybody we knew?" "No, 'twas someone named 'Miles from Dublin'!"


User currently offlineRussophile From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 17 hours ago) and read 2071 times:

Gotta love this classic....

Dublin (AP) - Ireland's Worst Air Disaster occurred today when a two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery outside Limerick early this afternoon.

Local search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.


User currently offlineRussophile From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 17 hours ago) and read 2074 times:

And this classic.....

Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night with Paddy the Pilot and Shamus the co-pilot.
As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window.
”B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will ye look at how fookin short dat runway is".
"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy", replied Shamus.
"Dis is gonna be one a de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see," said Paddy.
"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy," replied Shamus.
"Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse."
"Right, I'll be doing dat." replied Shamus.
"And den ye put de flaps down straightaway." said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat." replied Shamus.
"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can." said Paddy.
"Right, I'll be doing dat." replied Shamus.
"And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all your soul." said Paddy
"I be doing dat already." replied Shamus.
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Shamus full of nerves and sweaty palms.
As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul.
Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane
screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Shamus and everyone on board.
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Shamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest fookin runway I have EVER seen in me whole life."
Shamus looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, but look how fookin wide it is!"

Happy St Pat's Day!


User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2065 times:

Russophile, that's disgustin that is, makin fun o' the Irish like that. Tch Tch
Tch!  Smile/happy/getting dizzy  Wink/being sarcastic

Good ones!


User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2060 times:

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '65."
"This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?," he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."


User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2058 times:

All jokes, pub songs and toasts aside, I thought I would explain to all those who are not Irish what the true meaning of Saint Patrick's day is, and its significance to the Irish.

Although it is a day to celebrate being Irish or of Irish descent, March 17 is also a Holy Day that has deep religious meaning to many people. Saint Patrick is after all credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland. He also began our connection with the shamrock as he used its three leafs to explain the Holy Trinity to Irish pagans.

The most well known story associated with Saint Patrick is his banishment of all snakes from the island. This is said to have taken place at the summit of Croagh Patrick, a mountain located six miles from the town of Westport, County Mayo.

More factual is the story that states Saint Patrick prayed and fasted for forty days and forty nights on the slopes of the mountain in 441 AD. Today, Croagh Patrick is the focal point for an annual pilgrimage held on the last Sunday of July. Over 60,000 people make the journey up the rocky path and some insist on walking barefoot! Having reached the top, you can take in the breathtaking views of Clew Bay and the entire western coastline.

Of course, Saint Patrick was not actually Irish! He was originally brought to Ireland as a slave, most likely from France. It is believed that his place of captivity was as a shepherd on the slopes of Slemish Mountain, near the village of Broughshane, County Antrim.

Similar to Croagh Patrick, Slemish Mountain is a place of pilgrimage and prayers are dedicated to the memory of Saint Patrick every March 17. At the top of the mountain, you can view the Antrim and Scottish coasts along with views into almost each of the six counties of Northern Ireland.

Another place associated with the reverence of Saint Patrick is Downpatrick, County Down. This is home to The Saint Patrick Center, a fascinating interpretive exhibition on the life of Ireland’s Patron Saint using the latest multi-media technologies.

Downpatrick is also the final resting-place of Saint Patrick. A huge boulder of Mourne granite covers the actual grave. This was placed here about 100 years ago, to mark the grave and to protect it from pilgrims who were carrying away the earth for use as a relic. This is also said to be the burial place of two other Irish saints—Saint Brigid and Saint Colmcille, giving rise to the saying “In Down three saints one grave do fill, Patrick, Brigid, and Colmcille”.

Of course, aside from all this, we Irish will indeed party hardy, as we always
do!


User currently offlineB747Skipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2060 times:

My grand father was born in County Cork...
He was 14 of age when he arrived at Ellis Island...
Then he ended up in San Francisco.
His first name was Patrick, as well...
xxx
So, tomorrow, for a change, I will have green blood.
And a few Harp Lagers, the tavern at the street corner got some.
I will meet a few O'Conners, and Kellys... but most only speak Spanish.
Happy St. Patrick Day to everyone, from Buenos Aires.
xxx
Happy Shamrock  Big grin
(s) Skipper


User currently offlineScottysAir From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2048 times:

I think that would be good day for us tomorrow with St. Patricks Day. You should always to need get green. They will make treaty for you.

User currently offlineCanadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week 16 hours ago) and read 2047 times:

B747Skipper, You DO have green blood in you! Plenty of it; grandson of a Cork man, you are! Ah, the port of Cork, with its ships departing for New York, the new world. In Ireland, they refer to Cork as "The Port Of A Million Tears", for all the goodbyes and separations of families in the late nineteenth and earlt twentieth centuries, as many departed Ireland's shores for a better life across the Atlantic.

Your recalling your Grandfather reminded me of this wistful poem:

When advancing years slow my steps
And my mind turns increasingly
To the contemplation of past years,
Will I, in exile, fondly remember
The land of my birth? The land of
green, the isle of Eire
I left when fear shrouded
The serenity of family life;
When bullets and bombs
and hunger and pain
Overshadowed the beauty of the mountains
And the music of the streams, and
My search for true freedom found fulfillment
In a new life in a strange land, its gateway
marked by the lady of Liberty.
Will she, will this place, be kind to me?



User currently offlineTokolosh From Netherlands, joined Sep 2001, 366 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (10 years 6 months 1 week ago) and read 2017 times:

Of course St. Patrick's Day is holy -- it's my birthday  Smile So, this evening I'll dress up in green and catch the atmosphere at 'O Reiley's Pub and try and find my way home afterwards.



Did the chicken or the egg get laid first?
User currently offlineBestWestern From Hong Kong, joined Sep 2000, 7152 posts, RR: 57
Reply 22, posted (10 years 6 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 2012 times:

Thank you! And happy St Patricks day to all of you as well.

BTW - Irish people dont get offended by Irish Jokes - we are secure in ourselves!






The world is really getting smaller these days
User currently offlineVaporlock From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (10 years 6 months 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 2005 times:

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO ALL........  Big thumbs up

PHYLLIS  Smile/happy/getting dizzy


User currently offlineLHMark From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 24, posted (10 years 6 months 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 2005 times:

Pink Hearts, Orange Stars,
Green Clovers, Blue Diamonds,
Red balloons, and Purple Horseshoes!
Frosted Lucky Charms
They're magically delicious



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
25 Post contains images Jcs17 : The most pointless holiday ever... since when did Irish people need an excuse to get shitfaced!
26 Post contains images Canadi>nBoy : "BTW - Irish people dont get offended by Irish Jokes - we are secure in ourselves!" Aint that the truth. As the saying goes, if you want to hear the b
27 Canadi>nBoy : Russolphile posted this joke, and I laughed my ass off, and had to copy n' paste it again. Dublin (AP) - Ireland's Worst Air Disaster occurred today w
28 Post contains images Fritzi : The night out in Vienna was pretty OK. The only bad part was that I had to leave at 12:45 because I have to work tomorrow... I still managed to get pr
29 Alcregular : Wait until you have been into a bar in Benidorm called The Shamorck, what a day we had. They go through at least 60 barrels of Guinness alone on St Pa
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