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A Great Joke (I Think...)  
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 35
Posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 1188 times:

A submariner was sitting on a bench at the mall.

A young man walked up to the bench and sat down.

He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, yellow, and purple.

The submariner just stared.

The young man said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without bating an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
15 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineDLKAPA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1167 times:

Nice. Guess you have to appreciate wierd humor, but that one had me laughing good.

DLKAPA


User currently offlineJkw777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 1148 times:

Waheyy you made me laugh  Big thumbs up

I like it  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Justin  Wink/being sarcastic


User currently offlineA330Fan1 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 856 posts, RR: 11
Reply 3, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 5 days 17 hours ago) and read 1148 times:

Haha!! nice one, pretty funny lol.

having sex with a parrot...hahaha

-A330Fan1


User currently offlineFSPilot747 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 3599 posts, RR: 12
Reply 4, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1066 times:

Haha, that was definitely a good joke. Haven't heard a good joke in a long time.



FSP


User currently offlineLearpilot From United States of America, joined May 2001, 814 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 4 days 19 hours ago) and read 1024 times:

How can you guys sit here and laugh at the suggestion of a parrot being raped by a submariner?

Signed,
777236ER



Heed our warnings or your future will be underpant free!
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 35
Reply 6, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 1004 times:

How can you guys sit here and laugh at the suggestion of a parrot being raped by a submariner?

Who said the submariner raped the parrot? Ever think it might be the other way around???  Big thumbs up

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
User currently offlineVaporlock From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 926 times:

MxCtrlr, very good! Thanks for the laugh!  Wink/being sarcastic

Phyllis



User currently offlineGeedo From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 366 posts, RR: 0
Reply 8, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 854 times:

Okay........so this guy goes into a grocery store and says to a clerk in the produce section, "I want to buy a half a head of lettuce".

The clerk replies, "I'm sorry, but you can't buy half a head of lettuce".

The customer becomes angry and demands to speak to the manager, so the clerk goes into the back of the store and says, "Mr. Jones, some jerkoff wants to buy a half a head of lettuce". Suddenly, the clerk turns and realizes the customer has followed him into the back room. Quickly, the clerk says, "And this man wants to buy the other half!"

The manager cuts a head of lettuce in half and they send the customer away happy. He then says to the clerk, "That was pretty quick thinking on your part. We could use a man like you managing our new store in Minnesota."

"MINNESOTA?" exclaims the clerk, "there's nothing there except whores and hockey players!"

The manager, visibly upset, replies, "Son, my wife is from Minnesota."

"Really? What team did she play for?"  Smile  Smile/happy/getting dizzy  Smile



I've got Titanic hopes and they aren't sinking
User currently offlineQIguy24 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 849 times:

This one is for JeffM, L-188, L-1088 and friends  Big grin

On Air Force One:

Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at
Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill
out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten
$1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course,
then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and
make a hundred people very happy."

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could
throw all of you out the window and make the whole country
happy."

PS. Even thoug Iwas a big fan of Clinton I found this one pretty hilarious Big grin


User currently offlineQIguy24 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 851 times:

And this one is for Alpha and the rest of us liberals  Big grin

George W. Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway
when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing, and landed in the
creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3
kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so
grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland." George W.
said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".

The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
George W. said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael
sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built
in TV and stereo headset!" George W. was a little perplexed by
this and said, "But you don't look like you are handicapped."
The kid replied, "I will be, after my dad finds out I saved your
ass from drowning!"


User currently offlineTbar220 From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7013 posts, RR: 26
Reply 11, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 837 times:

Very nice jokes from all  Big thumbs up


NO URLS in signature
User currently offlineHaveBlue From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 2116 posts, RR: 1
Reply 12, posted (10 years 4 months 3 weeks 16 hours ago) and read 838 times:

Good jokes, esp Geedo's.


Here Here for Severe Clear!
User currently offlineFreshlove1 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 781 times:

LOL!!!!!!......................NOT!!!!!

User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 35
Reply 14, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 744 times:

I read another good one today...

What do you do if a Pit Bull starts humping your leg?

A. Fake an orgasm REALLY quick!

< insert rim shot here >  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
User currently offlineRenton_WA From United States of America, joined May 2002, 96 posts, RR: 0
Reply 15, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 725 times:

Be Happy With What God Has Given You...

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she aked "Is my time up?" God said, No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Face lift, Liposuction and Tummy tuck, since she has so much more time left to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she asked, "I thought you said I had another 40 years to live? Why didnt you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?" God said, "Gurrlllllllllll, I didn't even recongnize you"


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