Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 50 Posted (12 years 7 months 4 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 930 times:
Hot on the heels of the favorite decade music thread, I thought I'd share this with you.
Following is a "story" I yanked off the Internet. There is no known author. But I did not write it. I believe I may have posted it before. If I did, oh well...it's good enough to post again.
Unless you are a big fan of and very savvy of 80's music, it will make no sense at all. It is comprised entirely of lyrics from many of the classic 80's tunes.
Love in the Eighties
Written by: Unknown author.
I was working part time in a five and dime. My boss was Mr. Magee. He was six foot four and full of muscles and walked like an Egyptian, but I was happy to be stuck with him. One manic Monday, while I was busy working for the weekend, I overheard him make a careless whisper. He told two of my co-workers, Jack and Diane, that I gave love a bad name. Well, I got so emotional, baby. I told him to say say say what he wants, but don't play games with my affection. He told me it was hard for him to say he's sorry and not to worry, to be happy. Then he blamed it on the rain. He was so out of touch. It just took my breath away. I couldn't fight this feeling any longer. I asked him "What's love got to do with it?" He told me to get outta his store and his dreams and into my car. So I figured I might as well jump. I cut footloose, went home and called my girl, Jenny. (You already know the number). She was on the other line with Amanda. They were talking about Mickey and how he was so fine. That blew my mind! Was she really going out with him? I told her that I had just called to say I love her. She told me she had been saving all her love for me, but now she was looking for a new love - asta la vista, baby. I thought "I can't go for that - no can do! Bring me a higher love!" I called up some of my old west end girls, hoping that one of them would want to get physical all night long (all night). First I called Billie Jean - she told me to beat it. I called Rosanna - her sister Christian blessed the rains down in Africa and then hung up on me. I tried Angela, but her answering machine just said, "853-5937. Angela can't make it to the phone. If you want to leave your name and number she'll give you a ring when she gets home." "Come on, Eileen! ... no answer. Nobody told me there'd be days like these! I was feeling like the owner of a lonely heart. Then, out of the blue, my best friend's girlfriend (she used to be mine) Roxanne calls. Yes, the real Roxanne. She told me she still hadn't found what she's looking for and that she wanted to take on me. I said "I thought you were Jessie's girl." She said "Don't you want me? You don't have to put on the red light - I'm on my own." What a feeling! I had the eye of the tiger. Who was I f-f-f-foolin? Roxanne drove me crazy like no one else. She's a beauty! She's one in a million girls! She blinded me with science, and weird science at that. There was always something there to remind me of her and I just knew that I'd have the time of my life. I wasn't about to la-di-da-di. I jumped in my little red Corvette and rocked down to Electric Avenue. I got my mind set on her. When I got to her house (in the middle of her street) I ran. I rapped on her front door and to this rapper's delight, I heard a voice say "Who can it be now?" "Here I am, the one that you love", I replied. I let my love open the door and was immediately lost in her eyes. I felt like a virgin touched for the very first time. She loosened her blouse and said "Rock me Amadeus!" Well, I felt it was my prerogative to bust a move. I told her "I'll tumble for ya!" as I pinned her on the stairs, hungry like the wolf. Just then I felt an invisible touch on my shoulder. I knew right then that our love was in Jeopardy. "Turn around bright eyes!" said a familiar voice. As I did, Jessie hit me with a sledgehammer of an uppercut that spun me right round like a record. He was hangin' tough and continued to roll with it, knocking the wind from beneath my wings-broken wings by this time. He rocked me tonight, for old time's sake, beating me from head to toe, until my true colors were black and blue and blood was spilling from my mouth like red, red wine. "You don't owe me money for nothing!" he snarled. At this point I was livin' on a prayer. I crawled back to my little red Corvette and drove home thinking about how my tainted love had cut like a knife - how it seems that every rose, truly, has its thorn. No longer do I want to know what love is. Don't fall in love! Love stinks.
Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 50 Reply 6, posted (12 years 7 months 4 weeks 16 hours ago) and read 873 times:
I think that the reason that music of the 90's was as abysmal as it was a manifestation of two things:
1. In todays convenience and technological culture, thought and creativity have been replaced with something that Microsoft can do for you. Todays youth just doesn't know how to THINK anymore. This extends to musical writing as well. Unfortunately, my generation is at least partially to blame for this. Notice how not only the lyrics were bad, but the beats, instrumentation and melodies were flatlined and utterly lacking in imagination. It has all of the excitement of listening to static.
2. Every generation has always struggled to "define" itself. The kids of the 60's had Vietnam, Hawks/Doves, etc, and all of those symbols and musical flavors to identify with.
the 70's kids had Disco and Punk Rock and Classic Rock. Their imagery is secured. The 80's gave us New Wave, flashy hairdo's and everything else associated with that decade.
What could the kids of the 90's do that could define themselves? It seemed like their was no ground left to break, and we all know that we don't want to be like our older siblings or parents. It seemed that being obnoxious and vulgar was the only way they could get attention, since it sure as hell wasn't because of their writing or performance.
Couple all of that with reason number one-lack of creativity. And what do you get?
A (musical) culture defined by vulgarity, frustration and a lack of originality just out of desperation for an identity.
What a coincidence....that's exactly what the 90's music culture was.
Aloha 737-200 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 7, posted (12 years 7 months 4 weeks 15 hours ago) and read 866 times:
Believe it or not, MattD, I agree with you, but there were a few select songs that I liked. But, as I said earlier, the majority of the music sucked...BAD!!
Now, look at the new music of today, the 00 decade. Had it gotten any better? NO, if anything, it's worse, alot worse, and it will continue to do so until either society collapses or people get tired of trash music!! and then they'll have to invent something new!! Oh, wait, we've lost that capacity.
Thank you to the man who started the "Disco Sucks Campaign" (Back in 1979, I believe)
And also thank you Bill Gates. (However, if not for him this forum would not BE here, so i dunno...)