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If You Can't Laugh At Yourself, Don't Come In!  
User currently offlineDerico From Argentina, joined Dec 1999, 4292 posts, RR: 12
Posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 2192 times:

No grrrly-men here...

"WHAT YOU GET WITH..."

One Frenchman: a bottle of champagne
Two Frenchmen: a couple in love
Three Frenchmen: an orgy

One German: a mug of beer
Two Germans: an army
Three Germans: a world war

One Englishman: a bottle of whisky
Two Englishmen: a football club
Three Englishmen: a drunken street riot

One Russian: a bottle of vodka
Two Russians: a political party
Three Russians: a messed up revolution

One American: a bottle of bourbon
Two Americans: a corporation
Three Americans: an war mongering invasion force

One Swede: a friendly skal to you
Two Swedes: an adult film
Three Swedes: Clowns claiming to play rock

One Brazilian: a caipirihna
Two Brazilians: a football team
Three Brazilians: a gay pride parade

One Saudi: a prince
Two Saudis: an oil cartel
Three Saudis: the last thing you might ever see

One Mexican: a bottle of tequila
Two Mexicans: 1/2 a mariachi
Three Mexicans: border patrol target practice

One Spaniard: a bottle of sherry
Two Spaniards: two brave bullfighters
Three Spaniards: idiots chased by bulls

One Japanese: a bottle of sake
Two Japanese: a factory
Three Japanese: an annoying as hell picture-taking tourist mob

One Chinese: a cup of rich tea
Two Chinese: a delivery take-out
Three Chinese: a cat's worst nightmare

One Colombian: a delicious cup of coffee
Two Colombians: a fierce guerilla
Three Colombians: drug dealers never work in threes

One Swiss: a diplomat
Two Swiss: a bank
Three Swiss: the most boring party ever

One Italian: a bottle of wine
Two Italians: a fashion show
Three Italians: an offer you can't refuse

One Canadian: a friendly smile
Two Canadians: a hockey team
Three Canadians: the canadian military

There's more of these, but I'm off to watch football now...




My internet was not shut down, the internet has shut me down
32 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8669 posts, RR: 43
Reply 1, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2170 times:

ROFLMAO!!  Big thumbs up Where did you find those?  Laugh out loud


Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineZweed From Netherlands, joined Apr 2004, 455 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 2167 times:

Good one!

wonder when the first post will come claiming this is racial and disgusting.


User currently offlineKlaus From Germany, joined Jul 2001, 21388 posts, RR: 54
Reply 3, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 2149 times:

Derico: One German: a mug of beer
Two Germans: an army
Three Germans: a world war


Now, now... 50 years, 80 millions of us and still no new world war... It doesn´t seem to work that way any more...  Wink/being sarcastic

How about this version:

One German: a mug of beer
Two Germans: an autobahn speed duel
Three Germans: a peace demonstration / strike for a third month of vacation


User currently offlineMir From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 21424 posts, RR: 56
Reply 4, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2123 times:

strike for a third month of vacation

I thought that was the French...



7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
User currently offlineAviationMaster From Switzerland, joined Oct 1999, 2477 posts, RR: 35
Reply 5, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2114 times:

"One Swiss: a diplomat
Two Swiss: a bank
Three Swiss: the most boring party ever"

LOL!!! How true  Big grin Big thumbs up


User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8669 posts, RR: 43
Reply 6, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2114 times:

"I thought that was the French..."

Never heard of Franco-German friendship?  Big grin



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineKlaus From Germany, joined Jul 2001, 21388 posts, RR: 54
Reply 7, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 23 hours ago) and read 2114 times:

Mir: I thought that was the French...

Okay, recently the german unions have retreated a bit in this particular struggle; But worker vacations are still outrageously long when viewed from other countries...  Wink/being sarcastic

Doesn´t matter for me; I´m self-employed. (I sometimes hate my boss!  Nuts)


User currently offlineJuanr From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2075 times:

One Argentinian: a penalty kick missed.
Two Argentinians: two penatly kicks missed.
Three Argentinians: a party of "We-don´t-know-how-to-lose".

At least this time they did not have the apology of "we've always won, we did not know that runner ups had prizes too"

Juan
SKBO


User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 2015 times:

I'll agree about the French/German strike thing...

One Frenchman: a bottle of champagne
Two Frenchmen: a couple in love
Three Frenchmen: a blockade of Calais

I got a couple more

One Belgian: a waffle stand
Two Belgians: a frites bar
Three Belgians: a camp site

One Dutchman: a bicycle
Two Dutchmen: a caravan
Three Dutchmen: a 50km tailback on the autobahn

One Australian: the Australian vegatarian movement
Two Australians: bar fight
Three Australians : bar staff




User currently offlineLuisca From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 2002 times:

LOL Juanr

I cant believe the were fighting because the referee "Took to long to Blow the wisthle, therefore causing Argentina to loose." They were sayin this on Fox Sports today. (commentators are argentinian)

Saludos


User currently offlineSulman From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 2035 posts, RR: 33
Reply 11, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1999 times:

"Okay, recently the german unions have retreated a bit in this particular struggle; But worker vacations are still outrageously long when viewed from other countries..."

Yet Germany remains one of the most productive countries in Europe. I'd suggest Germany is doing something right, and the rest of us are getting it wrong.



It takes a big man to admit they are wrong, and I am not a big man.
User currently offlineKlaus From Germany, joined Jul 2001, 21388 posts, RR: 54
Reply 12, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1982 times:

Sulman: Yet Germany remains one of the most productive countries in Europe. I'd suggest Germany is doing something right, and the rest of us are getting it wrong.

Funny, isn´t it?  Wink/being sarcastic


User currently offlineLuisca From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1965 times:

Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe that a study in france Proved that productivity had gone down in france in the last decade as a result of less work time.

User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 1959 times:

Productivity and France are two words that cannot be juxtaposed in the same sentence. Possible the productivity index in France dropped from 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000002 to 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001, but the difference I assure you is imperceptible.

User currently offlineEA CO AS From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 13478 posts, RR: 62
Reply 15, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 1938 times:
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Hey, I can laugh at myself - so here's my proposed change:

One American: a bottle of Budweiser
Two Americans: a lawsuit over something trivial
Three Americans: a love triangle on The Jerry Springer Show



"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan
User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 16, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1931 times:

One aDotNetter an ill-considered thread.
Two aDotNetters a flame war.
Three aDotNetters still all virgins.





Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineJBirdAV8r From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 4488 posts, RR: 22
Reply 17, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1915 times:

Not bad at all! I'll edit the last line of yours though...

One American: a bottle of bourbon
Two Americans: a corporation
Three Americans: a Weight Watchers convention



I got my head checked--by a jumbo jet
User currently offlineSA006 From South Africa, joined Sep 2003, 1883 posts, RR: 55
Reply 18, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1910 times:

Any South African ones then?

Rgds  Wink/being sarcastic
SA006



Proudly South African
User currently offlineMYT332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 19, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1901 times:

One South African: A white farmer
Two South Africans: A white farmer and an angry black man
Three South Africans: Dead white guy and a riot

Meh, lord knows if that follows the Structure of these, not that funny joke thingies. Blame JKW, he said it was right.



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 35
Reply 20, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1893 times:

ROFLMAO!!!!!  Big thumbs up These were great! Good thread!

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 1836 times:

How about

One South African: A political party
Two South Africans: A Volkstaat
Three South Africans: A National Strike



User currently offlineGKirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24899 posts, RR: 56
Reply 22, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1828 times:

I should mention that England and whisky dont go  Big grin If anything 1 Englishman should be a bottle of Gin


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineZKSUJ From New Zealand, joined May 2004, 7084 posts, RR: 12
Reply 23, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1819 times:

Hehehehehehe, great thread. We're not on there yet (NZers). But then again, thats OK.

User currently offlinePhotoLPPT From Portugal, joined Jul 2004, 511 posts, RR: 2
Reply 24, posted (9 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1810 times:

Anything on the portuguese, by any chance?  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Regards,
Luis


25 JGPH1A : One New Zealander: Bungee jumping off a bridge Two New Zealanders: Bunging jumping out of a balloon Three New Zealanders: Bungee jumping out of a bal
26 AWspicious : One Trinidadian: A bottle of rum Two Trinidadians: A case of Carib beer Three Trinidadians: A kidnapping in progress
27 Post contains images JGPH1A : Re: One aDotNetter an ill-considered thread. Two aDotNetters a flame war. Three aDotNetters still all virgins. The last line should read Three aDotNet
28 Cptkrell : Well, seeing as how I am going to become an official resident of Tennessee shortly; One Redneck: a pickemup truck that don't run Two Rednecks: Two pic
29 Post contains images BR715-A1-30 : this is racial and disgusting. Hey, Somebody had to do it. Just kidding, this is awesome. I was laughing all thruout
30 Post contains images ZKSUJ : Brilliant stuff mate. Love the one about the NYC meet
31 NUAir : CptKrell, that was by far the best one so far. I'll take a shot at Cuba One Cuban: Communism Two Cubans: Political Revolution Three Cubans: Miami
32 JGPH1A : Can I revise the Cuban one slightly ? One Cuban: Oil drum Two Cubans: Inner tube Three Cubans: 278 votes for GWB in Dade County. Oooh political !
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