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Similes And Metaphors Can Be Fun!  
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (11 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 3579 times:

Another snippet that landed in my inbox - I had a good chuckle....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools
about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with
a pinhole in it.

4 . She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of
his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly
surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes
on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a
speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, his
plan just might work!

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a
real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

1 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineOly720man From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 7154 posts, RR: 11
Reply 1, posted (11 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 3558 times:

#27 sounds like the sort of thing that would be in a B-movie private investigator drama or something from Police Squad.

So where are they from? Bad simile 101 classes? Or pulp fiction novels?

29. The 'plane landed heavy and bounced, wobbling like a fat woman riding a camel.

Any other aircraft related ones anyone?

wheat and dairy can screw up your brain
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