As an antidote to the circular and endless Kerry v Bush claptrap, here is a great story of a horny simian lush who took up fags because she was stuck with a sexually bogus chimp.
Guess that must explain fag hags. The spitting's another matter !
Sexual frustration has driven a mild-mannered chimpanzee to take up smoking and spitting, according to China's Xinhua news agency.
Feili, 13, has turned from a "gentle girl" into a "shrew", said Liu Bing, the director of her zoo in Zhengzhou, central Henan province.
Mr Liu said Feili's partner at the zoo was 28 years her senior, and was unable "to meet her sexual demands".
Feili was not addicted to nicotine, he said, but was just imitating tourists.
However, she does appear to be quite keen on smoking - and has been known to resort to desperate measures to get what she wants.
Xinhua reported that Feili became excited when she saw a visitor light up a cigarette, and grew impatient when they showed no sign of giving it to her.
It quoted one boy visiting the zoo as saying: "Just now a tourist threw a cigarette butt to just outside the cage - she tried to get the butt with a stick."