CanadianNorth From Canada, joined Aug 2002, 3377 posts, RR: 9 Posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 14190 times:
Ok first off, this isn't a joke or anything. Your more than welcome to add some humour, but please keep in mind if it's not worth saying, or has nothing to do with the following, please don't say it or save it for another time.
Ok, Here it goes, one of those "what if" questions eh. I wont use names tonight people, so I'll just go with "Person A" and "Person B".
Say Person A was in ohh about grade 10 or 11, somewheres in there. And so was person B. Now person A and person B both go to the same school, and are not really best friends or anything but do have conversations maybe 2-3 times a week during school hours. Now heres where the question part starts. Say this person A kind of liked this person B. But this person A and this person B were both guys or both girls, and just for fun very few people know that person A is not exactly straight. And now, the main problemski with this setup is the small fact that person A really does not know if person B is ummm that way, aswell. So, if YOU were person A, what would you do?
MxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 37 Reply 1, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 10644 times:
That's a sticky situation even if "Person A" and "Person B" were of opposite sexes. That they are the same sex poses a myriad of other problems for two people that age.
What "Person A" needs to decide is, if "Person B" isn't into same-sex arrangements, and "Person B" will most likely (if not of that persuation) blab it to everyone else in the school, can "Person A" handle the consequences. If "Person A" is ready for the possible (and, most likely) backlash, I would say to take the gamble and let "Person B" know how "Person A" feels.
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.
DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
CanadianNorth From Canada, joined Aug 2002, 3377 posts, RR: 9 Reply 3, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 10625 times:
Thats the whole problem... Person A is ussually the type that when he has a question he would just wonder over and start asking away, but this is different. Person A has worked hard to climb the social ladder, and just walking up to person B and asking him could work out great, or could mean a long and painfull fall to the bottom. Person A often takes chances, but this is one chance person A would like to find a way around. Person A wants to find out about person B, without anyone finding out about himself. Any suggestions for person A?
Yes, I will say that currently it is a very sticky situation with very few solutions that person A can think of.
Rotor1 From Tajikistan, joined Mar 2003, 230 posts, RR: 3 Reply 4, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 10619 times:
Thats why they call it a closet. If Johnny is a good person than he'll respect you if you ask him not to tell anyone, when he says he's straight. If you don't think he'll respect you like that if such a situation arises, then move on.
Don't stress about this shit. You should be stressing about money and how you can get it.
The best aviation photo I've ever taken was rejected by Airliners.net
CanadianNorth From Canada, joined Aug 2002, 3377 posts, RR: 9 Reply 5, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 10615 times:
Person A aint worried about person B loosing respect or telling anyone, its person A's and person B's friends being there to hear it and spending the rest of the week spreading it around. Now person A and person B only really see/talk when friends are around, so just walking up to person B and saying what needs to be said would be difficult for person A, and if person B turns out to not be that way, person A would never hear the end of it, which would not be very good for person A.
ZKSUJ From New Zealand, joined May 2004, 7060 posts, RR: 12 Reply 7, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days ago) and read 10579 times:
In that situation, I would keep it to myself unless I was really sure.
I guess it is a different situation if you are a person who looks for someone of the same sex because it could turn out twice as bad if it went wrong.
Beowulf From Singapore, joined Jul 2003, 728 posts, RR: 15 Reply 8, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 10551 times:
This 'Person A' and 'Person B' stuff confuses me, really! As other already mentioned, 'Person A' might just want to wait a bit, maybe a situation arises where A and B can talk to each other without bystanders, etc. Now, if B knows about A's "desires" ... B should tell A his/her decision, at the right time.
KLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2399 posts, RR: 3 Reply 9, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 10519 times:
Person A can go and ask person B is he has a gf. If he says "yes" then he is straight, if B says "no", then A can ask, "what about a bf." B will make some sort of comment (I'm not that way, or no, I haven't found the right guy yet etc).
Lucky727 From Canada, joined Sep 2003, 602 posts, RR: 2 Reply 11, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 10475 times:
Having been person A (almost 20 years ago in high school...) - grade 11 & 12 ended up being pretty difficult, since, as it turned out, person A wrote person B a letter confessing everything...person B turned out to be straight, and while A wasn't worried about B telling everyone, everyone found out anyway & it made things a living hell for A. A & B never really spoke much afterwards, unfortunately - no loss of repsect, but it was just REALLY awkward.
Enough of my story - my advice to you (assuming you are A?) Don't pursue it - odds are most likely against what you have visualized actually happening...you'll be out of school soon enough & can explore all the other B's in the world. The downfall isn't work the risk, and soon enough you can move to YVR, YYZ or YUL (the cities, not the airports!) and do your own thang
CanadianNorth From Canada, joined Aug 2002, 3377 posts, RR: 9 Reply 16, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 10406 times:
Lucky727: person A almost did write a letter, but didn't eh. The thought of what could happen to them, which is what happened in yer story, is exactly why. Person A would have fixed their problem way back in the day, but can't seem to find a way to go for it without a good chance of something similar happening to them.
AIR757200 From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 1579 posts, RR: 8 Reply 17, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 10394 times:
my advice to you (assuming you are A?) Don't pursue it - odds are most likely against what you have visualized actually happening...
I agree!! If "A" and "B" are becoming better friends (via conversation, hanging out, etc.) and "A"/"B" enjoys the other's company- then just leave it at that... Being friends is better than finding out something and it just backfiring on either person. As the friendship expands, "A" (or maybe even "B") can do some observations like whether or not he actively dates (and who he dates), etc.
CanadianNorth From Canada, joined Aug 2002, 3377 posts, RR: 9 Reply 18, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 10355 times:
Ok, thanks for all the replies sofar. Now, apparently person A has considered just forgetting the whole thing and carrying on as if it never happened, but figures it will be on their mind still anyhow, so that idea would probably not work out the best.
Person A has kept it inside for a while with the idea that maybe what the rest of the people don't know wont hurt them. But now person A has decided that it would probably be best to just get on out there and say what needs to be said and call it done so they can go off and really just be themselves before it drives them to do something stupid.
The point of this whole post basically, is how do YOU think person A should go about doing what they feel they need to do without getting their ass kicked doing it.
ClassicLover From Ireland, joined Mar 2004, 4578 posts, RR: 24 Reply 19, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 10344 times:
Rather than rushing into anything, what person A should be doing is cultivating the friendship of person B. I think you mentioned that they only speak a few times a week at present.
Person A should do all in his/her power to become a closer friend to B. If they truly like person B as a person rather than just as a sexual object, then this shouldn't be difficult at all.
Once person A knows person B a lot better, they will either like them just as much, like them more, or like them a whole lot less.
Either way, I think that person A will be in a much better position to know whether he/she can or should tell person B what they want to tell them.
All advice to suss out whether person B is in fact straight or gay is pretty good... however, some people who like the same sex will answer straight even if they're not. No-one wants their head punched in if they can help it.
I've been through all of this with a person B back in High School, and it's a lot of fun (is he, isn't he, and so on), but person A needs to take care of what he/she does and not do anything rash that could have an effect on how people treat that person in the future.
I have plenty more advice where that came from
I do quite enjoy a spot of flying - more so when it's not in Economy!
Dan2002 From United States of America, joined Dec 2002, 2055 posts, RR: 5 Reply 24, posted (9 years 2 months 2 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 10248 times:
CanadianNorth, being young, I would say its a phase. To find out if its a phase, find a Girl A and Boy B, bang girl a, then well, you get the idea. If its not a phase, go up to him and when he says something stupid call him a fag and see what he says.
A guy asks 'What's Punk?'. I kick over a trash can and its punk. He knocks over a trash can and its trendy.
25 CanadianNorth: Person A also figured it was a phase back a few years ago, but apparently it doesn't seem to be one any more. So the phase thing was a good suggestion
26 ClassicLover: This seems to be an instance where it might just be best if person A loved from afar and left it at that. There are times when it's better not to take
27 CanadianNorth: "If its not a phase, go up to him and when he says something stupid call him a fag and see what he says." Well person A didn't accually do this, but p
28 CanadianNorth: ClassicLover... The more I think about it the more I think the drunk idea might just work for person A eh. But then Dash8King might of been right with
29 BNE: I Have A Question For You..., what a lame topic heading, maybe you should have named the thread "What if I were gay" the views would have been double.
30 CanadianNorth: I was half asleep and ready to go to bed when I came up with the topic heading, So If people think it could be better then I'm open to suggestions...
31 ZKSUJ: Person A should become friends with person B until more can be found out. Person B may well be gay as well but if Person A comes on too strong then an
32 CanadianNorth: Ok, Person A has decided that the next time they have a few minutes they are going to go find person B, and just tell them. Nothing much for plans, ju
33 ClassicLover: I think it's a plan. It's not necessarily bad or good. As long as all the consequences have been thought through beforehand, then sure, go fo it! Cana
34 Blackhawk144: CanadianNorth, I don't mean to offend, but are you person A or B? Anthony
35 CanadianNorth: I feel stupid now.... Today at lunch I stopped at my locker to put something in and as I was leaving along came person B (his locker is 3 or 4 lockers
36 ClassicLover: Isn't confusion lots of fun? It has to be the most annoying feeling in the world, especially when it relates to other people. I tell you something I'v
37 CanadianNorth: It is true though, the whole is he isn't he thing would just be no fun if I knew for sure. I know that chances are none of you know person B, and I'm
38 CanadianNorth: Boys and Girls, Todays lesson is............................... Notes do NOT work. CanadianNorth