Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 50 Posted (12 years 7 months 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1195 times:
Before I even get into this, let me just point out that this post is meant ONLY for those select few of us that actually still believe in marriage. So, sorry to shut out most of you Euro folks. I know that you look at marriage with all the excitement of getting a used 8-track tape in your Christmas Stocking.....assuming of course- you still celebrate Christmas, or whatever gift giving holiday you have over there.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand.
Guys (and ladies):
At what age do you think marriage is ideal?
18? 21? 25? 27? 30? 33? 133?
Or do you feel that in todays materialistic, and self-centered society, that maybe the Europeans are onto something more practical-namely the abolition of marriage-even though your heart sinks when you think of it?
Why do you feel the way you do?
On a related note, what is up with todays young girls? It seems that so many of them have gotten their life sequences out of order.
A generation ago, it usually went something like this:
For many women, it ended there. But for some, the sequence continued like this:
Another kid or two
Now, I look around me, and it seems like todays ladies do things in a bit of a different sequence. Usually, this is how it goes now:
even more kids
still more kids
All by the time they are 25.
Career usually doesn't become a priority until 30 or 35, although there are still some out there who expect to be trillionares, have offices in 44 countries, no less than 17 private jets, and a permanent fixture on the cover of Forbes, Fortune, and Money all by the time they are 21. What's up with THAT?
What's up with that?
ALthough I don't know anyone that can prove me right or wrong on this, the impression I get is that these ladies seem as determined as possible to 1. Have their children as young as is biologically possible, and 2. Don't want a husband or boyfriend (unless it's to get money out of him) and 3. Be at a loss to explain why that when they finally do want to settle down by the time they are in their late 20's or early 30's, no guy will touch them.
I don't suppose that the wreckless years from 16-X, where you have been plugged more times than a leaky faucett, have 5 kids, none of which have the same father, you've been to divorce court no fewer than three times, and you have no clue what it means to be a decent partner, wife, or whatever you want to call it have anything to do with it?
In the eyes of us guys at that age (I am 27), you are seen as "used", a "liability", "having too much baggage", and a whole host of other negatives.
Nicolaki From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 2, posted (12 years 7 months 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 1103 times:
Really I don't see why your post should be restricted to those who only belive in marriage.
Now is your questionning really on how old should a person be to get married or why some girls are sluts?
Really it's 2 totally differents things so please try to clarify.
Once again you go into huge generalization assuming that today's most ladies just screw, have kids, party, marriage, divorce, screw ...ect. You're totally out of the track Matt, maybe you watched Jerry Springer a bit too much, look at the real world! IT IS not what you think it is. Well actually part of what you describe is true but on a very small scale, very few girls are like that.
CactusA319 From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 2918 posts, RR: 27 Reply 3, posted (12 years 7 months 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1090 times:
To answer your first question, I'd go with after 25. That's when I thought I'd get married but the girl I thought would be the one dumped me on my ass so now I'm back to Square One and I've sworn off serious relationships for a while. So it looks like I'll be 30 when I tie the knot. Maybe.
Schoenorama From Spain, joined Apr 2001, 2440 posts, RR: 27 Reply 4, posted (12 years 7 months 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 1079 times:
Being European, I don't know why I even bother to write you this, but what the heck, here I go:
In your somewhat confusing topic-body you write: "Now, I look around me, and it seems like todays ladies do things in a bit of a different sequence.
Usually, this is how it goes now:
I'd just like to remind you that it still takes two people, a man and a woman, to have kids, so I don't think its fair to blame it all on the "ladies"when they get pregnant.
It seems to me that, in your eyes, when a young single male sleeps around and has sex with different girls just for the sex, there is nothing wrong, while, on the other hand, the girl or girls in question are sluts.
As for marriage, the only advice I can give you is to marry the girl you really love, regardless the "baggage" she brings along.
Oh, and by the way, I agree with Nicolaki: don't watch Jerry Springer too much, better still, don't watch him at all!
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!
An-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3950 posts, RR: 43 Reply 6, posted (12 years 7 months 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 1062 times:
I am very anti-marriage. I do not see the point. If two people love each other, I do not think that they need a paper or some church to make it official to hundreds of people. If people do want to marry, they should sit down, think and talk a lot about it.
Institution of marriage should be abolished.
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
Gunfighter 6 From Netherlands, joined Jan 2001, 404 posts, RR: 0 Reply 9, posted (12 years 7 months 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1045 times:
You have a serious problem matt with all your prejudices about europeans.
I think because you live so far away from europe you have developed some sort of attitude about it.
I think Europe is a continent you wish you had been born cause all the fancy thing are possible there.
RealHigh From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 1022 posts, RR: 15 Reply 11, posted (12 years 7 months 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1048 times:
Well said Marian Siegert!
You sound like a very disturbed man. I hope the best for you. You are probably tucked away sleeping alone as usual tonight as I type this post.
There is no right or wrong age to get married if you choose to do so. Everyone's star shines at a different time in there life. It doesn't matter if they are 18, 22, 26, 30, or even 40. People shouldn't all follow the beat of the same drum.
I think you are putting too much value on marrage Madd D.
You need to lighten up or get out more.
Ask a girl out for a change.
Ryanb741 From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 3221 posts, RR: 16 Reply 13, posted (12 years 7 months 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 1011 times:
I married my wife straight after graduating from University (at age 21). We don't plan to have kids until our thirties, so the priority is on enjoying being young at the moment. So my life cycle has been thus:
with the kids to come at a later date. A MUCH later date.....
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?
Dc-9capt From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 14, posted (12 years 7 months 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 1004 times:
I am going through a divorce right now, and let me tell you, it is anything but pleasant.
It cost me $10,000 just to get started (retainer) and if you think my attorney is going to use up anything less than a penny of it...well, you are sadly mistaken.
When all is said and done, my wife is going to have a big chunk of my income, 50% of the equity in our home, and a portion of my retirement. I am looking at $50k just to get this whole thing taken care of.
If it sounds like I am putting a price tag on this...I am. I have to lock out the emotional aspects of what this is doing to my two kids...the emotional price is far greater.
She stood behind me in the past, but it is REALLY difficult being married to an airline pilot. It is really difficult for an airline pilot to be married to a successful, career minded individual.
Marriage is an expensive and sacred vow. Don't think that it is anything to rush into. It ain't no party either.
RealHigh From United States of America, joined Jul 2000, 1022 posts, RR: 15 Reply 16, posted (12 years 7 months 16 hours ago) and read 986 times:
You made a very good point and I hope a lot of people here listen to your advise. It's mostly young guys here so they aren't really thinking about it. Two successful, career minded individuals need to decide if they are going to be parents or successful, career minded individuals.
I think too many people emphasize marrage more than what marrage is all about. So many people aspire to have a career, wife/husband, house in the suburbs, 2 kids, SUV and a dog.
There is nothing wrong with that goal, but it doesn't work for everyone.
>Just because you are getting plugged every night does not give you carte blanche to make fun of a 27 year old like me who has never woken up next to someone his entire life.
You may want to try 'getting plugged' every night!
You might enjoy it!
BTW, you must think I am sweet if your calling me 'cupcake'!
Canada Mike From Canada, joined Feb 2001, 149 posts, RR: 1 Reply 17, posted (12 years 7 months 16 hours ago) and read 984 times:
My cousin and his girlfriend lived together for four years and had been going out for six. True love if ever there was. So, the call comes, and mom and I go flying out to Ottawa for a September wedding. And they lived happily ever after.
Or, not. By April, they were legally separated and she was two months pregnant. She also went from being the nicest person anyone had ever met to being the absolute psycho-bitch from hell. When their son was born, she moved to from London, Ont., back to Ottawa just to keep my cousin and the baby apart. She actually moved back in with her parents (who she hates) just to be vindictive. She also went screaming to her lawyer about how she wanted full custody with no visitation and all about poor little single mother her, she needs an outrageous portion of his wages to support the baby. Hah! Yeah, right. She has a cushy job with the Ontario Provincial Police and her parents are dumping money on her like there's no tomorrow.
This really opened my eyes as to what marriage really is. And with the divorce rate over 50% and climbing, that doesn't seem like good odds to me.
I had planned to have a wife and two kids. Now I'm thinking a career, a lot of friends, and a fish.
SophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3 Reply 19, posted (12 years 7 months 15 hours ago) and read 978 times:
A lot of people get married because they want to be married and think it's the thing to do. The rest of your life is a long, long, long time. Be careful who you chose to spend it with.
I guess I always thought of the woman getting screwed in the divorce thing but now am seeing the other side of it after reading what DC9capt has to say. I always pictured the man going off to leave a wife with the kids to raise on a low income while he buys himself a Porsche to toodle around in with his newer younger girlfriend.
Ryanb741 From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 3221 posts, RR: 16 Reply 20, posted (12 years 7 months 10 hours ago) and read 976 times:
I just think that you can't put a number on the right time to get married. I am a career-minded individual who got married relatively early, but that was because I found someone I knew 100% I could spend the rest of my life with. Too many people get to their thirties and through pressure from friends and family worry about not being married and so walk up the aisle with the first person they get hold of. Result, high divorce rates.
Also, if you're worried about losing all your money in alimony settlements, why don't you just sign a pre-nuptial agreement?
I used to think the brain is the most fascinating part of my body. But, hey, who is telling me that?
Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 50 Reply 23, posted (12 years 7 months 2 hours ago) and read 968 times:
Listen, first of all, at 27, it's tough to state with any accuracy just how difficult it is to make it through any public outing-especially on a friday or saturday night and every woman I manage to make eye contact with (even before I say a word to her) gives me that "look" that I've seen way too many times:
"No fu**ing way"
"Where is the bathroom? I need to regurgitate my last three meals".
I mean I know I'm hardly Playgirl material, but at the same time, no mirrors have cracked when I looked at them
As for getting plugged every night, no offense, but I'd rather be the one DOING said plugging, if you catch my drift.
(although your suggestion is starting to look better and better, with each passing day, just as a means of ending the perpetual "dry spell")