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And Some Of Us Think We Have Bad Days...  
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 36
Posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1535 times:

INNER SKELETON-----

A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering
abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.

FEMALE SOFA-----

500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!

In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had '...a rat in her privates...' and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?-----

A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy, we live sheltered lives -- thank goodness)

BLIND DRUNK-----

A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!-----

A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody
restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in he act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

And we think that we have bad days!!!!

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
11 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineFoxiboy From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2004, 208 posts, RR: 4
Reply 1, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1517 times:

OH my god thats all i can say on this one,apart from concrete up the ass well thats a new one on me.

User currently offline777ER From New Zealand, joined Dec 2003, 11850 posts, RR: 18
Reply 2, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1510 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
FORUM MODERATOR

Blink Drunk - OUCH, I had to read that while I was drinking a hot chocolate Sad

I complain that I have bad days.........maybe I don't have bad days compared to some of the above bad days examples.


User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 3, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1499 times:

As for the ouch and double ouch, we've all been there haven't we...  Smile




















Haven't we?  Confused

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineOYRJA From Denmark, joined Feb 2007, 78 posts, RR: 15
Reply 4, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 1498 times:

Oh my god! I nearly fell off the chair laughing reading about the concrete guy and the lense guy. Man they must feel pretty stupid now hehe Big grin

User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 36
Reply 5, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 1489 times:

As for the ouch and double ouch, we've all been there haven't we...

Thom@s, I get more and more worried about you with each post.... Big grin

MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool



DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 6, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1477 times:

All I can say is that I thought doctors were supposed to keep their mouths shut in situations like these...  Smile

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineImonti From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1463 times:

with regard to concrete up the ass, all I can say is that I doubt they are the first and I doubt they will be the last, just goes to show how stupid the human race is.

User currently offlineProsimtec From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1421 times:

Thank God they didn't find a turkey baster in the female sofa!

User currently offlineLevent From France, joined Sep 2004, 1718 posts, RR: 5
Reply 9, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1386 times:

Inner Skeleton: "I feel someone´s watching me"
Female Sofa: "Honey, did you see the cat lately?"
Prickly Pair: "Have you been fooling around with my false teeth again?"
Ping Pong: "I feel so heavy!"
Blind drunk: "Oh nurse, I love your eyes. Can I borrow them for a while?"
Double Ouch: "Bite me! Bite me!" "Stab me! Stab me" (the ultimate SM)


User currently offlineTom in NO From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 7194 posts, RR: 35
Reply 10, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1368 times:

ROFLMAO  Big thumbs up. Thanks for adding some hilarity to my day!

Tom at MSY



"The criminal ineptitude makes you furious"-Bruce Springsteen, after seeing firsthand the damage from Hurricane Katrina
User currently offlineCtbarnes From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 3491 posts, RR: 51
Reply 11, posted (9 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1366 times:

I'd pay real money to be in the ER when one of these cases came in! The poor patient has got to hope the nurse's station is soundproof  Big thumbs up

Charles, SJ



The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
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