Capital146 From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2003, 2125 posts, RR: 40 Posted (11 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 13893 times:
I started a new job a few weeks ago, and from a work perspective I am enjoying things very much.
However, a number of the people in my team are really starting to grind me down due to their constant narrow-minded comments and attitudes. For example, they have made a number of racist comments despite the fact that there is a guy sat near us of Asian origin who I'm sure would be able to hear what they are saying. Also, today they were in the middle of one of their routine 'gay-joke' sessions when the guy from the other end of the office, who is openly gay, walks over to deliver some files. Not sure if he heard the comments.
If there was only one person saying all this cr@p then I'd completely ignore them but as there are a few of them it's more difficult and I've found that I'm cutting myself off from most of my colleagues, which isn't good from a work perspective. I also get the feeling that the knives would be out if I 'dared' to confront them about it, the women especially seem to like nothing more than to have a good b!tch behind people's backs.
Other than look for another job, which I really don't want to do, what else can anyone suggest so that they don't irritate me as much?
Tristarenvy From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 2265 posts, RR: 3
Reply 1, posted (11 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 13885 times:
Be pleasant w/everybody involved, and appear to be "independent" of them. I used to have a job in a very political, and "clickish" office like yours. I actually bought a Swiss flag and hung it in my work space to announce to all that "I'm Neutral, and on nobody in particulars side!"
If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
Xpat From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 634 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (11 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 13882 times:
Always a tough situation to be in. Are the comments derogatory in nature? I know where I work, if someone new were to join they would be shocked at the things we say about/to each other. It would not be obvious to the new person that the level of camraderie we all have permits the trash we speak to each other (it's always in jest). Is it possible that the people at work actually have a close relationship and what they're saying is all in fun. Of course, I am in no way trying to contradict your feelings towards this, if in fact the comments are rude and offensive.
Of course at this stage you should not look for another job! It's a tougie this situation, and I'm really not sure what to suggest. I'm sure I wouldn't know the proper thing to do in a similar situation.
The only thing we have to fear is the sky falling on our heads. -Asterix
AlekToronto From Canada, joined Nov 2003, 328 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (11 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 13869 times:
Whatever you do not confront them - narrowminded people do not want or like to be criticized and the situation will only get worse ("Can you believe what he said?") - been there, done that. Probably the best thing to do is do your job well and develop a thick skin, just don't play their games.
Show them you are a better person and above their crap.
DesertJets From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7879 posts, RR: 14
Reply 6, posted (11 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 13858 times:
The most that you can really do at this time is to ask them, politely, that you find those comments/jokes/whatever offensive, inappropriate, or better yet unprofessional when you are working with them.
It is also one thing if they do this when "shooting the shit" so to speak or when you are actually trying to work together to get stuff done. If it is the former then I would just not get involved with them and stick to your work. If it is the later than my above suggestion might be appropriate.
Stop drop and roll will not save you in hell. --- seen on a church marque in rural Virginia
JetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 10
Reply 7, posted (11 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 13821 times:
Going to your boss or HR now would probably not be a productive move. Complaints by recent hires are generally dismissed and you'll possibly be pegged as a troublemaker or whiner, thus helping no one. Also, if your colleagues find out, they will successfully destroy your employment there, again without really helping anyone else. Since they are so comfortable talking like this, its obviously tolerated. Your best bet is to give yourself some time for the following reasons; establish good standing with management so they value what you have to say; get a better feel for office politics to decide the most prudent response; to find out why this behavior is tolerated; and finally, to try to figure out why the targets of the discussions are not lodging complaints themselves. With that info, you might know your best move and have a chance to do something about it without losing your job........or you could just quit.
Cancidas From Poland, joined Jul 2003, 4112 posts, RR: 10
Reply 13, posted (11 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 13751 times:
i have the same problem that you do. where i work, the people are norrow minded and plainly stupid to boot. i learned the ahrd way about how to deal with them. ignore them whenever possible. at my job, i actually have the choice of who i can work with most closely. (2 people per airplane normally) this helps as i pick to work with those that don't give me problems and those that i can actually communicate with. aside from that, i don't hang out in the ramp break room. you'll usually either find me at the gates with the girls or on the ramp doing my own thing. also, i frequently visit a buddy in ops.
"...cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home."