PHLBOS From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 7598 posts, RR: 22
Reply 5, posted (10 years 9 months 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 839 times:
Directions on Christmas (to all the PC people out there: holiday) lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
The 'only' portion of that phrase was probably either a typo. or a leftover from the old days when there were indeed separate indoor and outdoor strings. The main difference between indoor and outdoor light strings was whether or not the sockets were weatherproof.
Once upon a time, the now-non-existent C6 series and the C7 (candelabra base) strings were strictly indoor light sets and the C9 (intermediate base) strings were outdoor lights with weatherproof sockets.
Back to the topic at hand, some directions nowadays are absolutely ridiculous. My personal favorite instruction glitches are ones that were translated into English from another language.
"TransEastern! You'll feel like you've never left the ground because we treat you like dirt!" SNL Parady ad circa 1981
Tristarenvy From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 2265 posts, RR: 3
Reply 7, posted (10 years 9 months 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 831 times:
When I got my (new, then) 1979 Mazda GLC, I made it a point to read thru the owners manual. It was a total of something like 30 pages, of which most was check graphs for routine service. Today's cars seem to need to have a book the size of "War and Peace". And most of THAT is simple stuff that anyone who owns a car ought to know about. Example: "If car overheats, allow vehicle to cool before attempting to restart"
What's next? Lawyers disclaimers attached to our bodies warning us we might hurt ourselves?
If you don't stand for SOMETHING, you'll fall for ANYTHING.
CanadianNorth From Canada, joined Aug 2002, 3406 posts, RR: 8
Reply 8, posted (10 years 9 months 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 820 times:
When we bought a TV a few years ago, we opened up the box, took everything out, and there at the bottom of the box, underneath everything else, was a page of instructions on how to take everything out of the box.
57AZ From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 2586 posts, RR: 2
Reply 11, posted (10 years 9 months 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 775 times:
As we type, California is attempting to simplify the jury instructions that the judge presents to the jury in criminal trials. Needless to say, this has resulted in the plain English translations of Legalese being more wordy and complicated than if they bothered to impanel a competitant jury with a diverse enough vocabulary to understand the basic legalese in the jury instructions. Then again, the US Constitution guarantees the right to a trial by a jury of one's peers. Their efforts have also been complicated due to the fact that the City of Los Angeles somehow managed to get a copyright on their simplified criminal jury instructions and threatened to take the State of California to court for copyright infringement if they used the same instructions for the state courts. Then again, no one said that the decision makers in Los Angeles city government were all smart (no offense intended to those who are smart).
[Edited 2004-12-03 01:35:47]
"When a man runs on railroads over half of his lifetime he is fit for nothing else-and at times he don't know that."