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Substandard Treatment For Single Guys?  
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1116 times:

I have long suspected it, and now I'm pretty convinced of it. Single guys (race/nationality irrelevant) get worse treatment than couples and single women.

Does anyone know why?

Most single women on the other hand, have it fairly easy compared to men. It is they that all the single men flock to! A single woman could, if she played her cards right never have to pay for anything again. I guess it's the whole "beaver" or "mating call" thing.

Now us guys on the other hand, that's a whole other issue.

I decided to test this theory over the last few months.

First, I went to the Hallmark card store and paid much closer attention to the selection of cards than I normally do. Just in birthday cards, this is what I found:

44 "from both of us"
19 "from your daughter/wife"
..and only 6 "from your son/husband" cards.

Next, I wanted to actually study my existence in public. I took Jen to three different restaurants. When it was her and I, we were treated with courtesy, friendliness, seated and served fairly quickly.

I went to the same three places, on the same night of the week, at about the same time-but this time-by myself.

Every time, the time it took for me to be seated was double. In one case, 20 minutes. When I explained to the hostess that I was a party of 1, she kind of sneered at me. And I got stuck with a really rude waitress who got my order wrong and let my drink run dry three times. I guess one loser lonely guy is not going to spend all that much, so there is no incentive to serve him.

Whenever Jen and I go somewhere and there are small children around, they come up to us, say hi, giggle, laugh, and try to play. And the parents are sitting right there smiling along.

When I was by myself, the parents would tell there kids to stay away and "leave that man alone" and gave me some not-so-friendly glances.

So what's the deal? Are single men labelled in the minds of others as stalkers, perverts, serial killers, losers, or all of the above?

But as long as there is a woman with him, that very same guy is an "acceptable, decent family man"?

I find this behavior in people somewhat contradictory to the prevailing cultural climate which glorifies (subtly, if not blatantly) promiscuity, self independance, and the bachelor(ette) life.

21 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineDLKAPA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1079 times:

You sir, are a smart guy.

User currently offlineYVR2SAN From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 62 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1064 times:

Single men always get screwed in pretty much everything.

User currently offlinePlanespotterx From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1061 times:

So what your saying is if a girl/woman is single then everyone loves her, but if its a guy noone cares..
lol I learnt that a long time ago..because guys are after "one" thing usually, whereas girls/women go for more sensitive/caring guys (I know its stereotypical but its true mostly..a girl/woman doesnt want to be with someone who's going to beat her up is she.)

I look at it in this way..you meet a girl, give here everything you have..house/car/money etc and she gives you back her "body" in return.
Whereas if you stay single you get to keep all the money/house etc for yourself, i mean if you cant live like that it means ur only after "one thing" if this makes sense.

I dont know, its all down to one thing at the end of the day, but you shouldnt let it "run" your life..Ive been single for ages now (have the occasional flirt) but I enjoy keeping the money to myself and spending it all on ME lol.


User currently offlineBruno From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 853 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1045 times:

Matt D, hear what you are talking about.
It's another reason why I use www.nomarriage.com as my Bible.

He talks about us single guys being labelled 'losers'.
That term should be taken as a compliment. Loser is woman talk is a men that's smart enough to know whats best for him as an individual and pursues it. There are many married men that had there balls chopped off once they got married and will actually defend 'the sanctity of marriage'.

It's a shame that a bachelor can no longer get elected President of the United States. We have slid so far the right that the 'family values' crowd would go nuts.



I support the women’s movement up and down!
User currently offlinePilotaydin From Turkey, joined Sep 2004, 2539 posts, RR: 51
Reply 5, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 1004 times:

my theories as to why this behaviour goes...


as a single guy....

another woman: Will look at you and think, hmm, he is single, he probably hasnt been able to get someone....so that is one reason for the treatment. The second reason is that i think women see single men as if the men wanted them, and treat them bad...they fantasize as if all men want them.

Other people: look at ur age and if ur single, try to make up a reason in their heads to comfort themselves, and unfortuantely they concur that somehow being married is good, abiding, and caring/sweet... so you get labelled....
the best thing to do is make friends with really hot chicks, and never SHOW them any interest  Smile heheh




The only time there is too much fuel onboard, is when you're on fire!
User currently offlineFalcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 1001 times:

Great, another group who wants to be seen as a "victim". Just great.

User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Reply 7, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 998 times:

Falcon.....stuff a sock in it and let it go, wouldja?

Nobody is claiming victim over anything. Not even me, especially since I'm not even single. It is simply an observation and I'm looking to see if it's a valid one.


User currently offlineClickhappy From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 9633 posts, RR: 68
Reply 8, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 998 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
PHOTO SCREENER

it's even worse as a single parent.

User currently offlineFalcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 993 times:

MattD, I'm not buying it. 'Nuff said.

User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Reply 10, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 989 times:

Fine. You put your $.02 in. Move on to the next topic and let the rest of us discuss this one.

User currently offlineFalcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 986 times:

Here's that sock back, MattD, so you can stick it.

You've always had a tendancy to blame women, or to show men, especially white males as a victim, and I think it's absure.

And I'll discuss it if I want, so don't even go there.  Smile


User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 982 times:

In that I am going through an ugly divorce, being a single man looks like a drink of water three days into the Mojave; like a rope in a snow drift on the Himalayas; like a beer offered by a voluptuous barmaid in a packed nightclub. Get over it. Things always look greener...

Logan


User currently offlineStevenUhl777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 15 hours ago) and read 967 times:

Most single women on the other hand, have it fairly easy compared to men. It is they that all the single men flock to! A single woman could, if she played her cards right never have to pay for anything again. I guess it's the whole "beaver" or "mating call" thing.

That all depends on how attractive she is! Sliding scale based on physical attractiveness.

I've always been single, probably always will be, as women pretty much hate me for some reason, I REPEL women.

Personally, I've never experienced this myself. I usually go to the same places for happy hour and then the Mexican place down the street, and since I tip pretty well there, they are glad to see me and give me great service.



User currently offlineStarAC17 From Canada, joined Aug 2003, 3375 posts, RR: 9
Reply 14, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 953 times:

I have a follow up question to this:

Why do women always go for the involved guy and never the single one or is that if when you are involved you just tend to notice that more than when you are single.



Engineers Rule The World!!!!!
User currently offlineLogan22L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 938 times:

Star: It is a well documented reality that women are generally more friendly to involved guys, since they "know" they are not an immediate threat.

That said, having a chick on your arm is no guarantee of success. Not only to the girl on your arm, nor to the brunette with those sultry eyes in the smoky corner.

Be yourself; find a compatriot. Then, no matter what, you'll be happy (I hope).

Logan


User currently offlinePROSA From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 5644 posts, RR: 4
Reply 16, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 929 times:

I went to the Hallmark card store and paid much closer attention to the selection of cards than I normally do. Just in birthday cards, this is what I found:
44 "from both of us"
19 "from your daughter/wife"
..and only 6 "from your son/husband" cards.


What you saw probably reflects card-buying practices rather than any discrimination per se. Women are much more into card buying than are men, and no doubt want a greater selection.



"Let me think about it" = the coward's way of saying "no"
User currently offlineNWA742 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 926 times:

You've always had a tendancy to blame women, or to show men, especially white males as a victim, and I think it's absure.

Alphiefalcie,

Did you even read Matt D's post? He's not at all trying to portray himself or anybody else as a victim. He's telling us a theory he has and what he's done in attempts to prove it right.

So may I ask, what is wrong with that?

And I'll discuss it if I want

I bet that makes you feel powerful saying that on an internet board.  Laugh out loud



------------


BTW, Matt D, excellent post, I've always thought the same sort of thing as you, but never bothered to test the theory out, so good job.



-NWA742


User currently offlineAerobalance From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 4682 posts, RR: 46
Reply 18, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 919 times:

I'm chiming in....

MattD...good stuff, excellent post.

Falcon84.... shut the f*#k up..... leave.

Clickhappy....right on with that, watching what my bother goes through with his ex over his two kids is just painful....

T



"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
User currently offlineNWA742 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 911 times:

I'm thinking of doing an experiment like that tomorrow.



I'm chiming in....

MattD...good stuff, excellent post.

Falcon84.... shut the f*#k up..... leave.





Man you almost made me spew water all over my desk with that remark.



-NWA742


User currently offlineDeltaGuy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 898 times:

January 20th, 2009 Can't Come Fast Enough!  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

What Steaksauce, is that the anticipated date of your death? Well then, I can't wait for it either  Laugh out loud

I guess you can also say that day is another Republican victory celebration day....mark your calender you haven't purchased yet!

DeltaGuy


User currently offlineDeltaGuy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (9 years 9 months 1 week 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 899 times:

What you saw probably reflects card-buying practices rather than any discrimination per se. Women are much more into card buying than are men, and no doubt want a greater selection.

Agreed.....I buy a card in a store, oh, maybe twice a year. I usually like to print them at home, or just not have events that require such touchey-feelyness lol.

Why do women always go for the involved guy and never the single one or is that if when you are involved you just tend to notice that more than when you are single.

Same reason you do...it's something you can't have. Obviously they're semi-decent people if they're lucky enough to be with someone. That's why I like taking my sister out to dinner from time to time, or just another real good female friend....thennnn you get all the hotties lookin at ya Big grin

DeltaGuy


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