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Thursday Morning Funnies  
User currently offlineMxCtrlr From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 2485 posts, RR: 32
Posted (11 years 5 months 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 1164 times:

Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday.
The first Friday the question was, "How many gallons of water is there in the whole world."

No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.

Next Friday, the question was, "How many grains of sand is there in the whole world."

No one knew so they had to go to school on Monday.

By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday.

So he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two black ping-pong balls up to her.

She said, "Who is the comedian with two black balls?"

Little Johnny said, "Bill Cosby, see you on Tuesday."

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?", she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years", he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

"Worked for your ass, didn't it?"

Merry Christmas! - Watch Out For Flying Reindeer Sh*t! Big grin
MxCtrlr  Smile/happy/getting dizzy
Freight Dogs Anonymous - O.O.T.S.K.  Smokin cool

DAMN! This SUCKS! I just had to go to the next higher age bracket in my profile! :-(
1 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineJasepl From India, joined Jul 2004, 3582 posts, RR: 36
Reply 1, posted (11 years 5 months 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 1119 times:

LOL! I just got another Little Johnny funny:

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate",so she called on him.

Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight."

The teacher cried.

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